Chapter 21: Buttons
If there was a place that Santana would want to spend her Tuesday afternoons, this would not be the place. She didn't want to do her physical therapy because it made her feel even worse than just being in the damned chair did. But of course her mother and Rachel insisted that she go.
The only reason she didn't turn around and wheel out as soon as the nurse called her name was because Rachel was sitting next to her while they sat in the waiting room.
Rachel stood and went into the back with Santana, following the nurse into a room. The nurse helped her onto the bed, "I need to go get another nurse to help me get your height and your weight."
Rachel nodded her head and grabbed Santana's hand, "It will be OK Sweetie."
"I know but that doesn't make it any less terrifying," Santana mumbled, looking up.
Rachel frowned, "Why are you afraid?"
Santana sighed and looked at her, "Because I can't do anything on my own."
Rachel shook her head, knowing that Santana wasn't telling her the whole truth, "Yeah, and what else?"
"What do you mean? That's all, that is the only reason I'm scared," Santana defended herself.
"Santana Marie," Rachel scolded. "I can't help you if you won't tell me what is wrong. I want to help you but that can't happen unless you tell me what's really bothering you."
Santana looked at their hands, playing with Rachel's fingers distractedly. When she spoke, it was in a hushed whisper, "I'm afraid that I will never be able to walk again and I'm afraid that I won't make it anywhere in my life because I'm in this chair. But most of all I'm afraid that you will realize that I am no good without my legs and leave me."
Rachel closed her eyes for a second at the confession. When she opened them she lifted her hand to her mouth and kissed it softly, "Santana, I love you. That isn't going to change just because you got into an accident. I love you because you are funny, when you aren't being mean, you are nice to me and other people you care about, though I know that you don't like showing it, and because you are a beautiful person inside and out. I don't want you to think that I'm only with you for superficial things like your popularity and cheerleading and what it could do for you. There is so much more to you than that and if anything, I should be the one afraid of you leaving me. I'm unpopular, annoying, fashonally handicapped, and ugly. I mean-"
Santana interrupted her, "Rachel. That whole first portion of you decade long speech-" Rachel sent her a glare but she just continued, "-I mean I think your name should be Rose and you should start all your stories or just talking in general with 'back in Saint Olaf.'"
Rachel rose an eyebrow at her, "Did you just use a Golden Girl's reference? Have you been spending time with Kurt?"
Santana rolled her eyes, "My point is Rachel, I love you and I am not leaving you. I don't care if you are unpopular, that just means less bitches I have to punch. Second, yes you have a tendency to… inquire too much and state things in long winded speeches with big words but sometimes I find it cute because you furrow your eyebrows and scrunch up your nose because you are so passionate. Third, your outfits aren't that bad. Yes, maybe you shouldn't wear knee highs with your short skirts because it hides your sexy ass legs from my view and you cover up your breasts way too much, but again, that just means less asshole I have to punch for gawking at you. And last. You. Are. Not. Ugly. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, I don't care what anyone else thinks, you are beautiful and I love you."
Rachel smiled and blushed, tears coming to her eyes, "Thank you Santana. I love you. I know that that was probably the longest think you have ever said and it meant a lot to me, I love you so much."
Santana smiled and leaned over, kissing her gently. They pulled away when there was a knock on the door. Two nurses entered and helped Santana lay flat on the bed in the room. When they had that handled, they lifted her up so that they could slip a bed scale underneath her. They then marked where the top of her head was and the bottom of her feet were on the bed sheet.
They took both out from underneath her before the first nurse helped her back into the chair while the other went out to measure and record her results.
Rachel wheeled Santana to the therapy room and kissed her head, "I will be right her with you the entire thing OK."
Santana nodded as her trainer came in. She was a tall, skinny, tanned girl with light brown shoulder length hair and hazel eyes. She looked to be about 26 years old.
"Hi, my name is Kaylee," the trainer smiled and held out her hand to Santana.
Santana took her hand but didn't say anything. Rachel held out her hand when she noticed that Santana wasn't saying anything, "This is Santana and I am her girlfriend, Rachel Berry."
Kaylee smiled wider, "It is so nice that you are here for your girlfriend. I know that this whole process can be a little harsh on people, especially teenagers and it's nice to know that she has someone in her corner, supporting her other than family."
"You talk as much as Rachel does," Santana muttered.
"Santana," Rachel reprimanded. "Be civil."
"It's OK, I am use to sarcasm from my patients," Kaylee waved it off, not losing her smile. "Well today we are going to start with just some simple stretching of your legs and spinal cord to see if we can get some feeling back."
Rachel nodded and together, Kaylee and Rachel lifted Santana onto her table. Santana sighed and closed her eyes, folding her hands over her stomach,
Rachel put a hand on her forearm, "San, it's OK. I am right here and I am not going anywhere."
Santana opened her eyes and looked at her, nodding her head silently.
Kaylee smiled at them, "OK, so I will just be stretching you out, tell me if you feel anything. Whether it be something small or something big I need you to tell me OK? It will help me assess the damage to your spinal cord.
Santana nodded and laid there as Kaylee took her leg, bending it at the knee and pushing it to her chest. The Latina watched her but didn't say anything. Kaylee did the same thing to the other leg when she was finished and watched Santana to see if she had any reaction to it.
They went through about 8 different stretches but Santana didn't feel anything and that worried her because she didn't think she could go without the use of her legs.
Kaylee handed her some papers, "So we will work on this some more next week when you come back for your appointment. Don't be disappointed, a lot of people struggle their first few weeks." Santana nodded and Kaylee continued, "Before you go are there any questions you have for me?"
Santana bit her lip before shyly asking her questions, "So I know that I can't feel anything in my legs, I guess I am just wondering how far is the extent of this?"
Kaylee furrowed her eyebrows at the teen, "What do you mean?"
Santana looked down, "I was just wondering if um… Do I have feeling... Down there."
Rachel blushed and looked away when Santana asked that, "San…"
Santana looked at her then back at Kaylee, "I mean we aren't sleeping together but I was just wondering if we slept together, would I have feelings there."
Kaylee laughed, "Don't worry, I wouldn't judge you if you were. But it is natural to be curious about that. I can't tell you for sure, the only way for you to know is to touch it. You could do it yourself but because it is your own finger, it would be harder to tell because you still have feeling in your fingers, so you would feel it."
Santana nodded and thanked her before Rachel pushed her out. They walked to the car in silence and got in. They had already started driving before Rachel said anything, "So… you want to sleep with me?"
Santana looked at her, she had red cheeks and Santana could help but think it was adorable. Santana smiled, "Of course I do but only when you are ready baby."
Rachel nodded and didn't say anything else. They went back to her house to cuddle and watch movies with the occasional make-out session which neither girl was opposed to in the least. The only thing was now Santana would move her hands whenever she touched Rachel's butt and Rachel didn't have the confidence to grab her hands and stick them onto her butt.
After Santana went home, Rachel leaving her with a hot, open-mouthed kiss, she immediately texted her.
From My Sweetie: Babe, you are so mean. I am with my mom and all I can think about is having my way with you.
To My Sweetie: Well then I guess you will just have to wait until you get home to relieve yourself. :)
From My Sweetie: Or maybe I will sneak out tonight and go over there and make you scream my name so loud that children in Canada will hear you. ;P
To My Sweetie: Is that a threat or a promise? ;)
From My Sweetie: That is an actuality
To My Sweetie: Then I guess I will leave the front door unlocked. Love you.
From My Sweetie: Love you too.
Rachel really did leave her door unlocked because she didn't know whether or not Santana would really come since she knew her parents were out. Rachel felt she was ready to be with Santana because she felt safe and comfortable with Santana and she trusted her. She wanted to show Santana how much she loved her and trusted her.
When it was 11:45 and Santana still hadn't shown up, she locked her door and went to bed, slightly disappointed.
The next morning when the two saw each other they acted as though the texts that had sent each other the night before never happened.
Rachel leaned down and gave Santana a quick kiss, "Hey."
Santana smiled up at her, "Hey." She looked her up and down, noticing that she was wearing a skin tight red dress that only reached to her mid-thigh, black heels, and her hair was down in curls. "Why are you wearing that?"
Rachel looked down at her outfit, "I just wanted to wear something nice for you today. Do you not like it?"
Santana noticed the worried look on her girlfriend and reassured her quickly, "No, I like it. You look hot."
Rachel smiled and walked her to class, sitting next to her on the end. They went through their classes, Puck and Sam carrying Santana up to her class on the second floor and Finn and Matt bringing her back down.
When it was time for Glee, Rachel was a little late which surprised everyone. But when she opened her mouth, everyone groaned.
Rachel stood in front of everyone, "So I asked some student to distract Mr. Shue for 15 minutes because I have a special performance. I can't perform this in front of Mr. Shue and I need some help with it so that is why I am doing it now."
Everyone gave her confused looks and she just called Brittany and Quinn up to help her. She whispered the song selection into their ears and Brittany perked up with a grin while Quinn went wide-eyed, "By the Pussycat Dolls?"
Rachel nodded, cheeks turning red. Santana looked even more confused at this while Brittany jumped a little, "It's a good song. It's about playing video games with your boyfriend or girlfriend."
Quinn just shook her head, "No Britt, no."
Rachel waved her hands dismissively, "Doesn't matter. Just help please."
Both nodded and the music started. As soon as it started and Santana recognized it, she went red faced, everyone turning to look at her.
The three girls started singing together, dancing really close together, doing body rolls and other sexual pop and lock type things, "I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh). I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh)."
Rachel broke away from the two and walked closer to Santana, swaying her hips as she walked closer to her, the two blondes dancing in the background, "Typical. Hardly the type I fall for. I like when the physical don't leave me asking for more. I'm a sexy mama (mama). Who knows just how to get what I want and (want and). What I want to do is spring this on you (on you). Back up all of the things that I told you (told you). You been saying all the right things all night long, but I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off. Baby, can't you see, how these clothes are fitting on me and the heat coming from this beat? I'm about to blow, I don't think you know."
Rachel ran her hands up her body and into her hair before she went back to Brittany and Quinn, dancing against Brittany first before turning and doing the same to Quinn while the other was on her backside, "I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh). I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh)."
Rachel sang as they kept dancing, everyone staring at Rachel like she grew two heads still, "You say you're a big girl, but I can't agree 'cause the love you said you had ain't been put on me. I wonder if I'm just too much for you. Wonder. If my kiss don't make you just wonder. What I got next for you. What you want to do? (do) Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours. I can see, just like most girls that your game don't please. Baby, can't you see how these clothes are fitting on me and the heat coming from this beat? I'm about to blow. I don't think you know."
The three sang together again, the rest of the Glee club slowly warming up to it and singing along. Santana still looked beet red as the song continued, "I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh). I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh)."
Quinn and Rachel sang the next part together, Rachel standing right in front of Santana as she swayed her hips. Santana bit her lip as she watched Rachel, "Come on, baby, loosen up my buttons, babe. Loosen up my buttons, babe. Baby, won't you loosen up my buttons, babe? Loosen up my buttons, babe
Brittany and Rachel went on to sing the next part, "Come on, baby, loosen up my buttons, babe. Loosen up my buttons, babe. Baby, won't you loosen up my buttons, babe? Loosen up my buttons, babe."
They finished off the song all together, "I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh). I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh). I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh). I'm telling you loosen up my buttons, baby (uh huh). But you keep fronting (uh). Saying what you going to do to me (uh huh). But I ain't seen nothing (uh)."
The Glee club clapped and there were a few whistles, mostly from Puck as the three girls stood there. Rachel looked at Santana, a smile playing at her lips, "So what did you think babe?"
"I… I think that we should go to your house," Santana mumbled, causing everyone to laugh and Rachel to blush.
"We still have the rest of Glee club rehearsal," Rachel argued gently.
"Fuck that, you shouldn't have done that if you wanted to stay," Santana wheeled toward her. "See you losers tomorrow."
Rachel blushed darker as she followed Santana out, hearing the laughter in the choir room from their friends.
When they got to Rachel's house and were laying down on Rachel's bed, Rachel straddling Santana as they kissed.
Santana pulled her dress up over her head and reached for her panties but Rachel pulled away, "San, I want to focus on you first. We can figure out if you still have feeling while I learn what to do and then we can do me if you want."
Santana looked at her for a moment before she nodded slowly, letting Rachel take the lead this time, since she really could do much without full function of her body.
They found that Santana definitely still had feeling and Rachel was as loud in bed as she is out of it.
It was perfect both Santana and Rachel because none of it was rushed or rough, it was slow and sensual and full of love. Rachel couldn't have asked for someone better to lose her virginity to.
Alright so there is another update for me. I tried to make it a little bit longer so there it is. I will be posting again on Wednesday, as always. I want to thank you all for the amazing reviews again and thank you for sticking with the story, you all are great. The song and chapter title is "Buttons" by The Pussycat Dolls.