(A/N) So evidently, I have the self-control of a five-year-old. Updates it is.

Unfortunately, this one's a little short even by my standards. It's been a hot minute since I've written the last two chapters and I needed to both figure out what I was trying to do, and get back into a flow for this story.

I'll crush all your hopes right here. There's no fly-off-the-wall action going on this chapter. It's a lot of exposition and covering what's going on with the characters, and how their situation and setting has changed because of age-flipped Ichigo. I felt that pre-Soul Society arcs would be the best way to go over that, which is unfortunate because Bleach was still episodic and trying to figure out what it was trying to be back then. Regardless, I hope it's satisfactory and you'll all bear with me as I painstakingly try to reanimate this fic.

That being said, please enjoy and expect more soon.

Eventually.

xxxxxxx

Rukia was staring at him for so long without blinking, it was a wonder how her eyes hadn't dried out.

Snapping out of it, she shook her head.

There we go.

"You're… how…"

"Hm?" hummed Ichigo, bouncing his spirit weapon on his shoulder idly.

"How did you do that so easily?" she finally managed to get out.

The carrottop looked back to the park playground, catching sight of the remnants of a hollow's dissipating corpse. "Oh, that?"

The Shinigami sighed. "Yes, 'that'."

Oh.

He gestured with his sword. "I swung hard."

She kicked him in the shins, making him wince. "I know that, fool!"

"Then what's your problem?" he grumbled, nursing his abused leg as he did so.

Rukia crossed her arms with a huff. "Up until yesterday, you were nothing more than a human with above-average spiritual cognizance. There's no way your spiritual power could have developed so much on such short notice to allow you to cleave through a bonafide hollow with little to no effort."

She frowned. He hadn't even dealt a blow to its mask– its weak point. He simply cut the creature in half at the waist.

That wasn't something a normal Shinigami was capable of. Strength of that level was usually seen only amongst the ranks of the seated officers.

"Oh?" her stand-in remarked, conceit thick in his voice. "That just means I'm pretty great, right?"

She pushed him. To the woman's annoyance, he just started laughing. "Don't get full of yourself. If you rush into your duties expecting things to go this smoothly from now on, you'll be met with nothing but an early grave."

Angering her further, he dismissed her warnings with a wave of the hand. "Got it."

"Do you?"

"Mhm."

Purple eyes narrowed. "For your sake, I hope you're right."

Placing his hands on his hips, Ichigo prepared to leave. "So that's it, then?"

Rukia pointed at the cowing soul of a little boy. "Not quite. Next you'll need to perform a Shinigami's most important duty: the Konso. As the wielder of a Zanpakuto, this is a task only you can accomplish."

As she spoke, Ichigo began to wonder how he'd ever been able to perform a Konso to begin with. He didn't actually have a Zanpakuto right now, but a Quincy spirit weapon. Was having traces of Shinigami powers enough?

His partnered continued her explanation. "By pressing the hilt of your sword against their forehead, you'll leave an emblem of sorts on their person. This will send a signal through to Soul Society, and a Jigokucho –a hell butterfly– will be dispatched to accompany them on their 'ascent'. As a courtesy, make sure to– what are you doing!"

With the butt of his sword still outstretched in front of him, Ichigo looked back to her with the face of a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "My bad. Were you still talking? I went ahead and did the thing."

At first, Rukia had thought that her biggest hurdle would be to convince the boy to take on her mantle in the first place. It was a difficult job with lots of responsibility, so it would be no wonder if a human was averse to it.

She did not think it would be this arduous after the fact.

xxxxxxx

Urahara fanned his smiling face as he met his unexpected guest at the door of his shop.

The giant of a man bowed politely, being mindful of the bulky item in his possession. "Urahara-san."

"How can I help you, Sado-kun?"

He was let in, and the pair took a seat in the backroom. Chad placed his charge on the table between them, removing the cloth cover.

"A bird?" questioned the older man.

The avian in question– a parakeet– turned around in its cage, as if trying to avoid eye contact with the ex-captain.

Chad nodded. "Strange accidents keep happening around it– most of them dangerous, so I took it off the hands of someone I know and came straight here. I was hoping you would know what's wrong."

Urahara kept his eyes on the parakeet. "…What's your name?"

The bird fidgeted, almost bashfully. "…Yuuichi."

Chad wasn't surprised to hear it speak. It had been pretty vocal since he got it, and he had a feeling it wasn't just parroting words it had heard in the past.

The blonde nodded to himself. "Alright, Yuuichi-kun, what are you doing trapped in the body of a bird?"

The tall teenager's eyes widened imperceptibly under his bangs. "So it's true, then. There's a human plus soul inside of it."

"…" the bird kept its beak shut.

"You can't say?" guessed Urahara.

"…I'm sorry."

The voice was soft, and sounded genuinely upset. It was hard to be angry at the soul for withholding information when it sounded so pitiful.

Thankfully, nothing more needed to be said.

Kisuke nodded to himself. "Well, that settles that, then."

Seeing the questioning looks of the man and bird, he explained. "This is a hollow's doing, most likely. It's not uncommon for them to use plus souls as bait for more filling prey. I'd wager its causing these 'accidents', and eating the souls of those unfortunate enough to be on the receiving end of them. I'm right, aren't I?"

The bird's silence was telling.

Urahara fanned his face. "Mystery solved! Sado-kun, why don't you–"

"My mom!"

The man was caught off guard by the bid's sudden shout. The pair looked its way.

Noticing the attention it was receiving, the trapped soul forced itself to speak through its fear. "My mom… the scary monster said it would bring my mom back to life if I stayed in this body for long enough… I… I want my mommy back!"

If not the tone of voice, the panicked cries surely gave away that the soul belonged to a boy– a child.

Urahara sighed. His bucket hat lowered to cover his eyes. His expression was unreadable. "The hollow lied to you, kid. Bringing back the dead isn't something it can do. Both you and your mom have long since breathed your last breath among the living. All we can do for you now is help you pass on to the afterlife."

The trapped boy froze. If one were to look now, he would appear to be nothing more than a normal parakeet.

"Urahara-san."

"Yes, Sado-kun?"

"Would you mind looking after Yuuichi for a while?"

"Of course, Sado-kun. Will you be alright on your own?"

"I'll be fine."

The gentle giant rose to his feet and left the shop.

Yuuichi's eyes trailed after him. "Where is the nice onii-san going?"

"He's gone to tie up loose ends."

xxxxxxx

"You don't to walk me home every single day, you know," she told him with a sigh. "My house is just down the street."

Ichigo dismissed the argument with a wave. "Don't worry about it, Orihime."

The two of them had been going on like this for the past few days, now. Honestly, it made Ichigo a little sad. Had he done something to make her mad recently?

…Oh well. Things would probably sort themselves out eventually. If there was something wrong, she'd definitely tell him.

He escorted her up to the front of her apartment suite. She opened the door, and they both paused.

Well, Orihime had, at least. He was just waiting for her to say something.

She'd been doing that a lot recently. Was she expecting something to happen? He couldn't imagine what. No one would be stupid enough to come bother her, especially not when he was around.

Eventually, he realised that she wasn't going to speak. He smiled. "Good night."

A problem for another day, it would seem.

That snapped her out of it. She pouted, a scarlet blush rising up to her cheeks. "Mm. Goodnight."

And with that laconic answer as her only reply, the door shut in his face. It was only the knowledge that they'd be seeing each other for breakfast that appeased him.

That, and knowing that nothing would happen to her tonight.

Three days.

Three days had already passed since the incident that served as the supposed "start" of his life as a substitute Shinigami. However, the events that lead to Orihime being stringed along with him –namely the attack of her hollowfied brother– never happened.

It was nothing to worry about, though. He could still remember the relief on the deceased man's face when he promised to look after his little sister. He'd wager it was enough to relieve him of any lasting regrets and help him move on.

Inoue Sora had long since been sent to the Soul Society.

Ichigo frowned. Regardless, his friends still ended up being pulled into his troubles. Originally, he was under the impression that they wouldn't develop any kind of spiritual abilities if they weren't attacked by hollows in the first place, but he was wrong.

No, both Chad and Orihime had awakened their Fullbring a good while ago.

Urahara said there was a good explanation –something about his own spiritual presence and something called rei-o– but it was all a little complicated. The shop owner liked to speak in riddles, no matter how much he denied it, so trying to piece together any kind of explanation the man gave was a wasted effort.

Hm?

Speak of the devil. What was Chad doing here?

"Chad!" he called out to his friend from across the street. Strange, the big guy didn't come around these parts too often, let alone at such a late hour.

The taller man had just caught sight of him. "Oh. Ichigo."

Ichigo noticed the serious look on his face. "Something wrong?"

"I'm looking for a hollow."

The time traveler blinked. "Why?"

"It's been causing trouble," he elaborated, though his explanation still wasn't much to go on. "It should've been close by, but it's hiding."

Ichigo wracked his brain for any memory of such a hollow. If it existed, it wasn't a very memorable one.

"I see. You need help with that?"

Chad shook his head.

"Alright then. See ya around," Ichigo bade him farewell with a mock of a salute.

If his friend thought that he could handle whatever he got himself into, then it should be fine.

xxxxxxx

The instant Ichigo got home, he was met with the disgruntled face of his younger sister. Odd, mostly because it was usually the other sister that made that face.

"Yuzu? What's the matter?"

"Have you seen my dress recently? The white one. I put it in the wash, but…"

Heh. What were the odds that Rukia would take the same dress twice?

He knew the woman was hiding in his closet, obviously, but he purposely chose not to mention anything. He wanted to see how long she could force herself to stay cooped up in there before she cracked.

Vindictive? Him? Never. What was there to be vengeful of in the first place? It was all in good fun.

Fun for him.

Though admittedly, it has been a little drawn out. He could've sworn that Rukia would've called him out for a hollow hunt eventually, but it never happened. For whatever reason, there didn't seem to be too many popping up, safe for the one Chad had apparently dealt with.

Hollow activity was low. It wasn't normal.

"Ichi-nii?"

"Ah. Sorry." He was sidetracked. "I haven't seen it."

"Mu…"

He ruffled her hair and stepped past her. Maybe it was time to have a chat with the mooch before she goes stir-crazy

xxxxxxx

The sliding door to his closet shot open with a loud bang.

"Hey midget."

"GAH!" she screamed. Apparently, he had caught her as she was putting on her pajamas.

Yuzu's pajamas, rather.

She whipped him in the head with her school blazer, forcing him to back off lest he face the full brunt of her wrath. "Close the door!"

"It's my door," he argued to himself, but he remained unheard.

A few seconds later, she came out tense with a piercing, accusatory glare. "You knew I was here?"

"Why, did you think that I somehow wouldn't? It was obvious," he mocked, with his chin held up.

It wasn't obvious, actually. She scared the wits out of him when she burst out of that closet the first time.

…It seemed like such a far-off memory now, and technically it was, though it would be a memory he'd remember fondly.

Rukia tisked, but otherwise ignored his impudence. "What is it that you want?"

Ichigo scratched the back of his head. How should he broach the topic? "Well, I was just thinking… shouldn't there be more of these 'hollows' hanging around? You made it sound like a full-time job, but we've only run into a couple. Does that cellphone-thing of yours work properly?"

"There are no problems with the Denreishinki. It can pick up the signature of malignant spiritual beings within seventy-two kilometers. That's the range of the average Shinigami many times over," she denied immediately. "But… you're right. For such a populated town, there should be more instances of hollow activity."

"So there is something wrong, then."

She paused.

"…I can't say for certain. Come with me tomorrow evening. There's someone we should go see."

Of course, there was only one person she could be talking about, seeing as how she was trying to keep her current affairs secret from anyone affiliated with the Soul Society.

She was right, though. If anyone would know what's going on, it would be Hat'n Clogs.

xxxxxxx

Still dressed in their school uniforms, the pair made their way through the neighborhood to find a certain not-so-run-of-the-mill candy store. The secretive clan heiress led them from the front while her taller companion followed her dutifully.

"Are we there yet?" he asked, despite already knowing the answer.

"Soon," she growled. It hadn't been the first time he asked.

Honestly, it was difficult to get a read on the boy. On some occasions he seemed reasonable enough, but on others –such as this one – he was beyond insufferable.

Was he doing it on purpose?

No, of course not. Such were simply the ways of modern, human youth.

Eventually, the establishment in question came into sight. Two young children were doing some sort of spring cleaning out front. Rukia called out to them immediately. "You two. Is the owner inside?"

They stopped an put down their brooms. The redheaded boy looked to the older woman, then the one a few paces behind her–

Ichigo put a finger to his lips.

–And looked back to the woman. "Yeah. Go on in."

Doing do just that, Rukia motioned for the carrottop to follow. "Keep your wits about you. The man we're meeting is eccentric, but don't let that fool you. He's a dangerous outlaw."

And didn't he know it.

"How mean, Kuchiki-san. Insinuating that I'm some sort of devious criminal. I'm nowhere near so unscrupulous, I assure you."

Showing himself was the head of the establishment, Urahara Kisuke. As always, he sported his striped hat and was accompanied by a cheap-looking fan.

"This is my substitute, Kurosaki Ichigo," introduced the Kuchiki, foregoing any and all formalities. Associating with the man at all was probably bad enough, in her eyes. "We're here concerning the current state of affairs in Karakura town."

The infuriating man played dumb. "And that is?"

"Patrols have been quiet. It is my belief that something unnatural is the cause, and that you would know what the cause in question might be."

"Hm. Hm," the blonde hummed childishly as he nodded along. "I have a few theories."

Rukia visibly perked, so Urahara explained, "Hollows are creatures of instinct. Your substitute, here, has an obscene amount of spiritual power, and that power has definitely made a 'statement' of sorts. I'd wager that most hollows –save for those with lingering attachments– have long since left to find more secure hunting grounds that wouldn't compromise their existence."

Rukia's eyes widened. She knew that Ichigo was different, but…

Ichigo wasn't so convinced. Suspicion was clear in his expression.

"Speaking of which," continued the whimsical shop owner, "would you mind if I took a look at your physical body in the next room, Kurosaki-san? I wasn't joking when I said your spiritual powers weren't normal. It would be in all of our best interests if I could calibrate it to better accommodate your soul. We wouldn't want you to put yourself under any undue stress."

The petite woman didn't look too sure. The man was too similar to the twelfth squad captain for her liking.

Ichigo, surprisingly, was all for it. "Sure. Let's go."

The powerless Shinigami's mouth fell agape. "Now, hold on–"

"We'll be just a moment," assuaged the outlaw with an easygoing smile, despite it having contrary effects. "You wouldn't mind waiting, would you?"

She looked torn, but relented, "Alright."

xxxxxxx

"So, Hat'n Clogs, what's on your mind?"

Ichigo took the man's suggestion for what it was: the opportunity to get away from Kuchiki Rukia. There was something he wanted to say that he didn't want her to know. More likely than not, it was directly related to their previous topic of discussion.

"What I said just now wasn't at all true, though I guess it could be, in theory. The issue is that in practice, most hollows in the human world don't have half a wit to be shared between the lot of them, and their urge to feed outweighs any and all sense of reason. If your reiryoku catches their eye, they would only think of the benefits should they succeed, and not of the consequences should they fail."

"So what do you really think?" pressed Ichigo, trying to get to the crux of the matter.

"…To start, there hasn't been a Garganta opened anywhere near western Tokyo since you've confronted that strange hollow."

The substitute's eyes widened, his brain starting to piece things together. "That means…"

"That means something's going on in Hueco Mundo. I don't know the whos, the whats, or the whys, but of that you can be certain."

The blonde's eyes widened under his hat. "Oh. I almost forgot. Before you leave…"

He got up and went… somewhere. Not long after, he returned with a stuffed toy lion.

A stuffed toy lion that was wrestling for its freedom within the man's iron grip.

"LET ME GO, BASTARD! YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY!"

In a display that most would find disturbing, Urahara shut it up by lodging his fingers down its throat, paying no mind to the gurgles of discomfort. His hand came out with a marble-like pill, and the toy fell slack as it lost all liveliness.

The stuffed animal was dropped uncaringly to the floor, and the pill was popped into a candy dispenser that Urahara pulled out of a nearby box.

"Here. This soul candy will make your duties as a substitute Shinigami a little easier."

"…"

"…"

The dispenser was slapped away.

"Don't give me that shit! You put Kon in there! I saw you do it– you weren't even trying to hide it!"

"Ichigo," spoke Urahara in a tone that was ever-so-similar to a whimper, "I told you I'd take care of your mod soul friend, but I can't do that anymore. Yoruichi wants him out."

"But–"

"She wants him out now."

Ichigo sighed. "Fine."

The older man was all smiles again. "Fantastic! Well, if there's nothing else…"

The teen was pushed unceremoniously out the door, straight into the back of an unsuspecting Rukia. They both crumbled to the floor in a heap.

"See you around, you two!" he chirped.