I Kissed a Girl Chapter 23, a glee fanfic

Chapter 23: You Pulled Me Through

All the Glee kids met at the bus Saturday morning in order to head to the Sectionals which would be held in Dayton Ohio at a school called, Lincoln High. The show choir there was called, "Vocal Resonance." These schools have no creativity whatsoever.

The other school they would be preforming against was called, "Chordsers." Seriously, who came up with these names? It was probably just a joke among the school directors, kind of like, "Hey! Do you want to know how to really embarrass our kids? Let's give their groups the most ridiculous names ever!"

Mr. Shue may not have picked the most creative name ever but "The New Directions" is a whole lot better than "Chordsers".

Santana smiled as her and Rachel waited for Artie to get lifted into the bus first. When the lift came back down she backed onto it. Rachel smiled at her then went around to get onto the bus from the door. She went to pull her off the lift when she got to the top.

They went to sit at the back of the bus, near Artie and Brittany, so that they wouldn't get in the way of anybody else.

Mr. Shue came onto the bus with a clap and an enthusiastic voice, "Alright, time for Sectionals. We are going to be taking home that first place trophy again this year, then it will be Regionals, and last, Nationals."

There was a collective cheer from everyone in the bus before the bus driver headed out, going to the freeway.

It took then about an hour and a half to get to school. Most of it spent with people talking or singing. Rachel laid with her head on Santana's shoulder, smiling at all the fun everyone was having.

Rachel looked at her hands in Santana's lost in thought. She thought about how Santana was going to feel with all this. This would be her first big performance in the wheelchair and from what Artie told her, Santana was having trouble adjusting to performing in the chair, despite her words. All she wanted was for her girlfriend to be happy doing what she loved but right now it didn't seem like she had anything to do that she loved.

Santana was a dancer and a Cheerio, she couldn't do either anymore and Rachel could see that it was slowly getting Santana down. Sure Santana liked to sing but she loved the dancing more and the chair wasn't just a handicap on her legs, but also a handicap on her happiness and Rachel didn't know how to change that for her.

Rachel was going to Santana's physical therapy with her but it has only been a week, not much progress has been made and this trip was taking out two days of Santana's therapy.

Rachel was shaken from her thoughts when Santana squeezed her hand, "Honey?"

"Hmm? What?" Rachel looked up at her lover.

"You were concentrated pretty hard on our hands, what's going on?" Santana asked her, concern in her eyes.

"Nothing. I was just thinking," Rachel shot her a smile, kissing the corner of her mouth.

"Nuh-uh don't think you are getting out of it that easily. Tell me what you were thinking about," Santana quirked an eyebrow at her.

"It's nothing, really. I was just thinking about you," Rachel told her. It was half of the truth.

Santana smirked, "Oh really? And exactly what were you thinking about me?"

"I was thinking about how I totally turned you into a romantic sap," Rachel teased her.

Santana's smirk fell into a pout. She answered Rachel with a whine, "I am not a sap. How many times do I have to tell you that I am a badass? Do you just like to hurt my ego? Are you trying to hurt me?"

"Of course I am not trying to hurt you Sweetie. I am sorry for calling you a romantic sap. You are my hot, talented, amazing, sexy badgirl Santana Lopez," Rachel grinned at the Latina.

"You know it babe," Santana smirked and captured her lips in a sweet kiss.

Brittany awed from next to them, "You two are too cute. I swear it is like watching an alligator kissing a bunny every time I see you two together."

They break away and laugh at the blonde, "Britt, that makes no sense."

"Sure it does. They shouldn't go together but they somehow are and it's cute," Brittany smiled at the pair.

They both just laugh and go back to cuddling until they make it to the school in Dayton. Everyone gets out and goes into the gymnasium to sign in before they are led to their room for the competition. They got the band room since it was separate from their choir room.

"OK, guys. I want to go through our set a few times with Santana in the mix. We haven't added her yet but I think now would be a good time," Mr. Shue told the group who murmured their agreement.

They start from their first song, trying to dance around and sing with Santana and Artie wheeling around with them. Santana kept bumping into the others. When she ran into Sugar for the fourth time she burst out in anger, "I can't fucking do it. There is no point in me trying. Might as well have you all go on without me. There are enough of you that you don't need me."

Mr. Shue sighed, "Santana, I know that it's hard but we do need you."

"No you don't I am just dead weight to you all. No one gave two shits about me until I got into my stupid accident, then all they sudden everyone wants to be buddy buddy with me and feel sorry for me. Well I don't fucking want it. I know how you all feel about me and I am not going to keep pretending that what you all are doing is okay, because it's not. So please stop pitying me, I don't want it," Santana wheeled out of the room before anyone can say anything else to her.

Rachel frowned at the door for a second before she ran out of the room, chasing after the Latina, "Santana, please stop. Let me talk to you."

Santana stopped and wheeled around with a frustrated growl, "What the hell do you want Rachel?"

Rachel sighed as she walked closer, "I know you are mad but please don't snap at me. I just came out here to make sure you were OK."

"Do I sound OK to you?" Santana asked sarcastically.

Rachel ran a hand through her hair, "Santana, I know that you are having some issues-"

"Issues…" Santana scoffed and rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.

Rachel continued on, ignoring the interruption, "But you need to learn how to talk it out with someone instead of letting it bubble up until you explode like you are right now."

Santana looked down at her lap, her body posture not relaxing in the least. She had a lot going on through her mind. She didn't know why she was so angry about the choreography she just knew that she hated the chair, it stopped her from doing so many things. She wanted to be able to dance at Sectionals, to be on the Cheerios again, to go to her room or Rachel's without having to be carried, and most of all, she wanted to be able to do things on her own and not worry about someone helping her.

The rest of the Glee club had filtered out into the hallway and were watching in silence. Rachel kneeled down in front of her and put her hands on Santana's forearms, "Please just talk to me Sweetie."

Santana let a tear slide down her cheek as she answered quietly, "I don't like feeling so helpless."

Rachel brought a hand up to wipe the tear away gently, "You aren't helpless, needing a hand with some things doesn't make you helpless."

"I'm Santana freaking Lopez, I am supposed to be a badass and take names. I am a cheerleader and a dancer. I help other people; I am not supposed to be needing help from everyone with everything. I want things to go back to how they were. I want my father back, I don't want my mother freaking out about having to raise a child alone, and I want my family to be complete again," Santana had started out loud and stern but her voice tapered off at the end, her face and voice broadcasting how dejected she was. She had tears running down her face despite her attempt to keep them at bay.

Rachel cupped her face in her hands, "I know that this has been arduous on you and your mother but I just want you to understand that I am going to do everything in my power to help you and your mother. I love you and I know that I can't get your father back and I can't make your legs work again but I will be here for you every step of the way to help you whenever you need me. I am not doing this out of pity or because I think you need it, I am doing this because I love you and I want to make this as easy for you as I can."

"How can you love me? I was so horrible to you," Santana looked at Rachel, disbelief evident in her eyes.

Rachel gave a soft sigh and brushed Santana's hair back gently, "Because I knew all along that you were just lost and trying to find your place. You thought that by pushing everyone away you would feel better about yourself and that no one would ever know the real you. Since we have been together you have been chivalrous and kind, making sure that I am comfortable. You are a sweet, beautiful person Santana Lopez and you just need to let that person shine more because that is the girl I love, not the girl who hides behind her insults. I love you so much Santana and you are better than I could have ever asked for."

Santana looked at her for a moment before leaning forward and taking Rachel into a sweet, slow, loving kiss. She pulled away slowly, resting her forehead against Rachel's with her eyes closed, "I love you Rachel Berry. So much."

Rachel smiled and kissed her once more before standing, "Now no more bottling up your feelings."

"I promise I will talk to you from now on Honey," Santana smiled up at her, wiping the tears off her face.

"We will all help you and you can always come talk to us too Santana," Finn said, stepping out in front of the group.

Both of the girls looked over and Santana gave a half-hearted glare, "You it is really rude to eves-drop on a private conversation."

Rachel nudged Santana gently with a blush on her face, "Be nice San."

Santana sighed and nodded, "Of course Rach, I am sorry. And before any of you make a joke about me being whipped, I will admit that I am utterly and totally happy being whipped by this girl."

Everyone laughed and shook their heads. Rachel smiled fondly at Santana, "So I have tamed the tiger?"

Santana just shrugged, a small smile playing at her lips. Mr. Schuester smiled at the pair before speaking up, "We have to get back into that room and practice. We have Sectionals tomorrow and we need to learn our new set list if we want to win."

Santana looked up at Mr. Shue, "I'm sorry. What are you talking about?"

"Well obviously you can't dance in that wheelchair yet but I think I have thought of the perfect set list for both you and the rest of the club that will definitely win us Sectionals," Mr. Shue told them.

"I don't want you to change everything for me. I am totally okay with not doing Sectionals this year," Santana shook her head at her teacher.

"That's crazy Santana we can't win Sectionals without you," Quinn told her.

Mercedes nodded and smiled, "You have an amazing voice that we need to beat out those other teams."

"I think that that is decided then," Mr. Shue smiled and walked back into the room they had all exited out of.

The rest of the Glee Club followed and Rachel smiled before pushing Santana into the room to find out what amazing set list Mr. Schuester that came up with.

They spent 4 hours rehearsing the new songs and then they spent another 3 before Sectional started in order to make sure they had it down to a T. It wasn't that hard but they wanted to make sure that it went off without a hitch nonetheless.

When it came time to Sectionals started, New Directions had pulled the 2nd slot. So they went out into the audience in order to watch the first group to go up which was 'The Chordsers'. They had performed September by Earth, Wind, and Fire.

Then the New Directions went and took center stage. Santana wheeled forward as a spotlight came onto her and the rest of the club stayed still in the shadows. Santana started to sing out the slow lyrics, picturing her father as she sang. She also saw the woman that took her father's life, she was overrun with feelings of despair and rage. She was angry at the woman, at her father for leaving her, and herself for being angry at her father. She had so many feelings that she couldn't process anything else but the song she was singing and the thoughts that were flowing through her head.

"27th of January, think he died a year ago today. She's crying on my shoulder and begging me to make the hurting go away. Pretty brown eyes, tears full of guilt, a heart full of pain and fear. I wanna tell her it's okay but we both know she's the reason he's not here. I keep on crying, but it doesn't seem to help at all (seem to help at all). With every single tear drop, it's like another raindrop falls and I would (and I would). If I could (if I could, but the try would be in vain (The try would be in vain). Said so matter what I do, I can't stop the rain, so I cry," Santana sang as the glee club had turned around to sing with her. They did simple steps as she rolled around the stage, singing.

The woman that had killed her father was only 24-years-old. She had a two-year-old son with her fiancé, she was going to be in jail for 15 years so by the time she got out her son would be an adult. She had just graduated from college as a psychology major, she going to become a shrink at a residential for suicidal kids. She was at a party because she had just graduated earlier that day. Her fiancé was at home with their son and she thought that she was sober enough to drive. She was only two minutes away from their house when she had hit Santana and her father.

Santana kept on singing, a tear rolling down her face, "Oh, I can't stop the rain (stop the rain) Oh, I can't stop the rain (stop the rain). If I could, you know I would, but the try would be in vain, so I cry. Oh, I can't stop the rain (stop the rain). Faded picture in a little gold locket, and she never takes it off. I know it's small, but it's heavy 'cus it's filled with guilt. I know and she why his life is lost. I feel bad for her, but I'm having mixed emotions. Cause he was a friend of mine. Somewhere in the deepest darkest part of my mind I wish it was her that died that night. I keep on crying, but it doesn't seem to help at all (seem to help at all). With every single tear drop, it's like another raindrop falls (raindrop falls) and I would [and I would], if I could (if I could), but the try would be in vain (the try would be in vain). Said so matter what I do, I can't stop the rain so I cry."

Santana wanted to forgive the woman, wanted to feel something about the fact that she was away from her son and that he would have to grow up without his mother. She wanted to forgive her because she knew that holding onto the anger will just make her life that much harder but it was hard to do that when her life was ruined because this woman didn't find another way home. She was trying hard to release some of that resentment that she held for the entire night.

"Oh, I can't stop the rain (stop the rain). Oh, I can't stop the rain (stop the rain). If I could, you know I would, but the try would be in vain so I cry. Oh, I can't stop the rain (stop the rain). One rainy Saturday night, a happy anniversary celebrating long, champagne all around. They had a little too much to drink. They got in the car, and he could barely stand up so she figured that she'd drive. Staring at him I suppose, a sudden jerk of the wheel and the car flipped about three times. I keep on crying, but it doesn't seem to help at all. With every single tear drop, it's like another raindrop falls [raindrop falls] and I would [and I would], if I could (if I could) but the try would be in vain. Said so matter what I do (what I do) I can't stop the rain so I cry," Santana stayed center stage as everyone moved behind her but she didn't pay attention to them or the people in the audience.

She only thought about when their car was hit. She could practically feel the car flipping around her. Feel her head hitting the side window and the dash board in front of her. Feel the seat belt constricting her to the seat and push all the hair out of her body. Feel her bones breaking and her spine compressing. She could see her dad getting crushed by the truck and the door. See him bashing his head into everything around him while his body was crushed into the car. See him crack his skull on the steering wheel. She could see the moment when his life slipped away from him.

Santana looked back at Rachel who gave her an encouraging smile. Rachel stepped up next to her and took her hand before they started their next song, Rachel started the song out, "I was in the darkness. I was out in the cold. Seemed nothing could heal this this hole in my soul. You reached out your arms to me, held out your heart to me, pulled me back from the edge. Thought I reached the end."

Rachel looked at Santana once more before they started to dance a slow rhythm as Santana joined in and they sang together, "When I was drowning, When I was so confused. You, you, you pulled me through. I was in the shadows, Lost, nothing left to lose. You, you, you pulled me through."

Santana continued alone as she rolled past Artie who gave her an encouraging look, "You gave my faith back. Faith was so hard to find. You gave me my life back. You were my lifeline The love that you gave me is love that has saved me. Your strength is what made me strong. You held me and I held on."

Santana met Rachel in the middle of their group, everyone surrounding them as the two sang together again, "When I was drowning. When I was so confused. You, you, you, pulled me through. I was in the shadows. Lost, nothing left to lose. You, you, you pulled me through. Out of the dark into your arms, into the light. Your love saved my life. When I was drowning. When I was so confused. You, ooh you, you (pulled me through) (When I was drowning). When I was drowning. I was so confused (when I was confused). Yea you ooh you yea you, you pulled me through. (You pulled me through, you) you, you pulled me through."

They finished that and got another standing ovation. Santana looked down at her hands while Rachel gave her shoulder a soft squeeze. Santana took a deep breath before they started their third and final song.

Santana was getting caught up in all of her emotions. She couldn't keep one thought in her head and she kept flashing through all the bad times in her life. The ad that went out about her, her Abuela disowning her, Brittany turning her down, Coach Sue finding out about her boob job, Rachel breaking up with her, the accident, waking up to her father gone and her legs useless. It was all almost too much for her to bear. She wished that she could take it all back but she knew that she couldn't, that she had to just keep pushing through. She knew that all of that stuff that had happened had led her here, singing on the stage at Sectionals next to Rachel Berry, who she loved more than anything and that she would do anything for.

She never pictured that she would fall in love with a girl, let along Rachel Berry, but she couldn't deny her feelings. She felt like Rachel could make anything in her life feel better and right now that is what she needed. So as she sat there waiting for the song to start, she sucked up all of the strength that Rachel was giving her. She kept it inside of her and used it to get through the rest of the performance because she knew that if she could just finish out this last song then they would be on their way to Regionals and then the National title this year.

Tina started out the song, smiling over in Mike's direction as she sang the lyrics, "I never been who I wanted to be. I never felt completely free. No one's ever had all of me or made me feel so beautiful and sexy."

Mike smiled back at her and then took the next line, "Now I'm flying like an airplane. Now I'm riding on the open range. Now I'm living out my destiny. I know the truth, I got it all in you and me."

The whole glee club sang the chorus together, moving as one group in a slow, methodical dance, "Oh, I'm giving myself over to you, body and soul. I'm giving it over. I'm giving myself over to you now."

Santana took the next part and as she sang she pictured the first night her and Rachel slept together. It had meant so much to both of them but to her it felt like her first time all over again. It was better than it was with Puck or Finn or even Brittany. She felt like she was connecting to Rachel in a way that she had never connected with anyone else before. She also knew that that was a big step for Rachel and she was glad that the diva had decided to share that piece of herself with Santana. Santana knew that she was going to cherish that night for the rest of her life and that she would cherish Rachel as long as she would let her.

"Like a brand new day. Now you and I, we're the face of fame. Ain't nobody got nothing to say, no and from my feelings I never have to run away no more."

Rachel took over for the next part. Santana watched as she sang and moved gracefully. Rachel looked fully in her element and Santana thought that she had never looked more beautiful than she did right there, sitting center stage. Santana wondered how she had never noticed how beautiful she was before. She couldn't fathom how she could hurt the girl she loved so dearly as much as she did. She couldn't understand how she had let people treat her so badly for so long. Rachel deserved so much more than she got and Santana had pledged that she was going to do everything in her power to make Rachel feel like the star that she is, that she will never be hurt in such a way again. Santana never wanted to see the pain and humiliation in Rachel's eyes ever again that she had gotten whenever Santana or someone else would throw a slushy or call her names. She knew from that moment on, Rachel Berry would be treated like a princess because that's what she was in Santana's eyes.

"'Cause she's here holding me tight every day and night. Oh baby, can't you see? I don't wanna be without you anymore," Rachel sang, looking right at Santana as the Latina definitely caught the pronoun change she used in that first line.

Santana watched Rachel with love and adoration in her eyes. Rachel caught it and sent her a smile which probably would have made Santana swoon if she wasn't standing on stage in front of thousands of people. Santana finally tore her gaze away from Rachel and focused on what was going on around her but that focus only lasted a few sentences as they sang the chorus again.

"Oh, I'm giving myself over to you, body and soul. I'm giving it over. I'm giving myself over to you. Oh, I'm giving myself over to you, body and soul. I'm giving it over. I'm giving myself over to you."

Santana sang it out towards the audience with everyone else but she sang it to Rachel and only Rachel. She knew that she didn't want to be with anyone else and that she would spend the rest of her life with the future starlet and that she would spent the rest of her life making it up to her for all the crap she pulled. She wanted to win this for Rachel, she wanted Rachel to smile big and get filled with joy just so she could see the wide smile that would spread across the diva's face when they won. To Santana that was the best thing anyone could ever show to her.

Mercedes took the next part, singing it to Sam even though she would never admit to doing so, "For the first time I can stand in front of someone. Finally, I can be me. I can just let my love spill over. I can cry."

Sam smiled at her as Blaine sang out the next few lines, "I don't have to lie. I can finally let someone all the way inside. All the way. All the way. All the way."

Santana sang out, passing by Rachel and touching her had before she was out of reach, "Handing myself over to you, body and soul. I'm giving it over. I'm giving myself over to you."

Santana felt that with the touch she gave Rachel in passing was her way of giving herself to Rachel. She already knew that she would hold onto Rachel for as long as possible but somehow the physical contact helped her cement it into her mind. She was slowly letting go of that anger that she held and was giving in to her pain. She was going to hurt for a while but she knew that Rachel was going to help her through it. She knew that the rest of her friends were going to be there for her also and for the first time, Santana felt included and loved. She had never let herself feel these things and now here she was, surrounded by people who were showing her compassion and kindness and forgiveness and she wasn't exactly sure how to deal with it but she wasn't going to push it away. She was going to let it happen to her and see where it takes her because she was tired of always fighting and trying to keep everything inside. She was ready to just be able to shine through and show off the new her to Rachel, she would still keep up a small front around everyone else.

"I'm giving myself over to you, body and soul. I'm giving it over. I'm giving myself over to you."

Santana thought about her choices leading up to this moment and the only thing she truly regretted was not giving Rachel a chance when they first met and for making her life crap for most of high school. Sure Santana had other regrets but that was her biggest one. She knew every other moment had to happen in order to get her to where she was now, even if she didn't particularly like everything happening right now, she knew it would get better.

"You know it's the right time. I know it's the right night. I know it's the right life. I know you're the right man," Quinn sang from her spot next to Sugar, who seemed to be just as happy as everyone else around them.

Kurt sang out next, grabbing Blaine's hand briefly as he sang, "I know I'm the right girl. Come on now feel it. You feel it? I'm ready to give it over to you."

"Body and soul. I'm giving it over (I'm giving it over). I'm giving myself over to you now. All the way. All the way. I've never loved nobody else," they finished the song, Mercedes wailing out a little.

When it was over and the applause started, everyone smiled and clapped each other on the back before they exited off of the stage. They all went back into their green room and sat around, listening to the last group through the speaker while they talked to each other.

Rachel smiled at Santana, "You did great baby."

Santana blushed lightly as she looked at Rachel, "Thanks. But if we lose-"

Rachel cut her off, "San we are not going to lose."

"But I mean I sang the ballad and I sang most of everything and we know that I am not the best singer," Santana bit her lip and looked down.

Rachel took her hand, "Sweetie, you were amazing. We are going to win because you were featured, you are an amazing singer and I couldn't have asked for a better person to give the spotlight to."

Santana gave her a small smile, "Thank you Honey."

Rachel smiled and leaned down, giving her a short, sweet kiss, "Anytime."

Sam spoke up in a loud voice, "That was amazing. I don't think we have ever done a set list like that but it sounded great."

"I think it expressed a lot of the feelings going on around this room, especially Santana's," Blaine smiled over at the Latina.

Santana gave a small smile, "Yeah, I did a lot of thinking during that song."

"Woah no wonder I thought I heard some gears turning," Puck joked.

"Puckerman, I may be in this chair but I will still kick your ass," Santana sent him a glare.

"Noah, Santana, be nice," Rachel reprimanded the two.

"Fine, for you," Santana sighed.

At the same time Puck said, "I am never nice."

The entire glee club looked at Santana before laughing, causing the latter to blush and Rachel to kiss her cheek lovingly.

"See if you guys keep laughing when you start dating someone," Santana said with a slight pout.

"Blaine and I are dating and we don't act like you," Kurt smirked at the Latina.

"Whatever just be glad I am whipped by this girl or you guys would still get my insults," Santana shrugged her shoulders.

Everyone nodded in agreement and Rachel wore a beaming, proud smile upon her face. Santana rolled her eyes at her lover.

Santana thought that this was the beginning of her getting over the accident and trying to keep everyone out. She knew that this group of people would be her friends for a long time to come. She knew that these people would be the ones to help her get through all the rough times in her life and she was ready for them to do that. She wasn't going to push them away again.

Mr. Shue came into the room a half hour later and smiled, "Amazing job out there. Now we have to take the stage again, the judges have decided."

Everyone gave nervous smiles before they went out and took their place out on the stage next to the other groups. Some woman, a chef, who was one of the judges came out and smiled. She pulled out an envelope and started, "In third place, we have…. Vocal Resonance!"

Vocal Resonance cheered and went to get their trophy while the New Directions breathed a sigh of relief and moved in closer to the Chordsers.

The woman opened the other envelope and took a second, "And the winner of Sectionals and moving on to Regionals is…. The New Directions!"

They burst out cheering and jumping into each other's arms. Rachel hugged Santana, sitting on her lap and the Latina held her close, grinning widely. Artie went to get the trophy and everyone smiled as they went off stage.

"We did it," Sugar smiled.

"All because of you baby," Rachel smiled and kissed Santana.

Santana blushed and kissed her back. They stayed like that for a moment before Rachel pulled away and stood.

Brittany smiled, "I have to tell Lord Tubbington about this. He said that we were going to lose."

The rest of the group laughed and they all went out to the bus that was going to take them home. The entire ride home was filled with good cheer and friendly banter from everyone.

These were the moments that Santana needed. This is what was going to help her through the difficult time in her life. Even if she never walked again she knew it was going to be okay because she had this group of people to help her through it. She knew that these were going to be the friends that helped her through everything that was going on in her life. That they would help her be happy again and to help her move forward in her life.

I know that I have not updated in a while and I am sorry for that. There has been stuff going on in my life and it has stumped my writing time. But here is the next chapter and I hope that the length of it has made it up to you a little. I will also be updating every day until the end of the story which is only four chapters now. I am still deciding whether or not I will make a sequel, which I will need to decide soon since it will change the ending. Anyways I hope you liked this and I will also be updating my other Pezberry story today, I know I haven't updated that one in a while either. Anyways the songs used in this chapter are, "Can't Stop the Rain," "You Pulled Me Through," and "Giving Myself," all by Jennifer Hudson. The title of this chapter is "You Pulled Me Through," by Jennifer Hudson.