I was never one to have a decent sleeping pattern. Some nights were too difficult to get in even four consecutive hours, other nights I slept so heavily that it felt like breaking the surface of water after staying under for too long. Ever since this whole vampire business got stuck in my brain, I'd been leaning heavily toward the former.

The night after fishing with Billy, I just sat at the edge of my bed and stared out the window for God knows how long. I kept thinking of the mill, and my mind started to make up visions of the attack.

I started to think of Carlisle's face, and the black eyes from when I'd last saw him at the blood drive. He said he'd never drink human blood, and yet...

Carlisle had a legitimate alibi to prove he wasn't the killer, and I wasn't thinking about making him a suspect. I couldn't, anyway.

"It's not your case," Billy's voice reminded me in the back of my head.

No- it wasn't anything about that. I supposed it was all just the possibility that Carlisle could have lied, could turn at any moment and pluck off anyone in Forks. It was a small town, nothing too significant. The murder rate was significantly low, but nobody would really turn an eye if one or two people went missing.

I tried to lay down, but my conscience refused to rest. When I closed my eyes, I saw myself lost in the deep woods, in front of a freshly hunted deer. I had a rifle in my hands, but the wound was not of a bullet. The poor thing was still alive, screaming in pain.

Other ear-grating noises followed: the skidding of van tires across a wet school parking lot, a young and frightened teen girl pressed up against the door of her truck, the quiet choking of that same girl drowning in her own blood when her throat was bitten...

I pressed my palms into my eyes and shot up out of bed again. This time, I left my room completely and cracked Bella's door open. She was still fast asleep, having left her headphones on, but she was safe. The clock beside her blinked 4:18AM.

I trudged downstairs after my mind was put a little more at ease, but my gut was still turning with anxiousness. Flopping myself down on the couch, I just watched a baseball rerun to zone out until I had to get ready for work.

Before I knew it, Bella had come down to make herself breakfast, and she was surprised to see me awake already. "Hey, you alright?" she asked on her way to the kitchen.

I sighed and stood up. "Yeah," I answered flatly, turning the TV back off. I followed her into the room so I could start the coffee pot. "Just couldn't sleep."

"It sure looks like it," she responded, having gotten a better look at me. "Your eyes are a bit sunken in. Not a good day off?"

I smiled a little; I didn't expect her to worry about me like this. It was heartwarming. "I dunno what it was, but I got salmon if you wanna make that for dinner tonight."

"Nice catch." Bella pulled out pancake mix from the cabinet. The conversation drifted off from there, though she kept looking back at me like I had something else to say.

I couldn't think of anything to respond with. All I knew was that I was happy she was okay. Stepping up beside her, I pulled her in for a quick side-hug and kissed her temple. "I need to go get dressed, have a good day at school."

"Thanks. I'll try to make you something small to take with you on your way to work," she offered.

I nodded in return, and left her to her pancakes.

It was another slow day at the station, and I was left holed up in my office. Although I had forms and paperwork to keep me busy for the most part, the sticky note clinging to the bottom of my monitor stared at me. I never thought I'd feel exposed against an inanimate object that didn't even have eyes, but it was like the stupid piece of paper was staring at me as if I'd offended it.

Eventually, I caved and opened up a search browser.

Vampire.

When the results came up, there was a lot to sift through- everything from movies and TV shows to role-playing games, underground metal, and gothic cosmetic companies.

Then I found a promising site. Two quotes greeted me on the home page:

Throughout the vast shadowy world of ghosts and demons there is no figure so terrible, no figure

so dreaded and abhorred, yet dight with such fearful fascination, as the vampire, who is himself

neither ghost nor demon, but yet who partakes the dark natures and possesses the mysterious and terrible qualities of both. — Rev. Montague Summers

If there is in this world a well-attested account, it is that of the vampires. Nothing is lacking:

official reports, affidavits of well-known people, of surgeons, of priests, of magistrates; the

judicial proof is most complete. And with all that, who is there who believes in vampires? —

Rousseau

The rest of the site was an alphabetized listing of all the different myths of vampires held throughout the world. I read carefully through the descriptions, looking for anything that sounded familiar, let alone plausible. It seemed that most vampire myths centered around beautiful women as demons and children as victims; they also seemed like constructs created to explain away the high mortality rates for young children, and to give men an excuse for infidelity. Many of the stories involved bodiless spirits and warnings against improper burials.

Only three entries really caught my attention: the Romanian Varacolaci, a powerful undead being who could appear as a beautiful, pale-skinned human, the Slovak Nelapsi, a creature so strong and fast it could massacre an entire village in the single hour after midnight, and one other, the Stregoni benefici.

About this last there was only one brief sentence.

Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of

all evil vampires.

It was a relief, that one small entry, the one myth among hundreds that claimed the existence of good vampires.

Pulling out an empty notepad from my desk, I got down to writing spark notes from all the information I'd found; good and bad. Not like I was going to show anyone this, but I felt better having it with me as a reference. Just in case.

Nobody had interrupted me for anything, I'd realized. I was left so encroached in my searching that I noticed the sky had grown darker. After I was satisfied with ten pages filled up, I decided not to waste anymore of the station's internet, and I packed up to leave.

On the way home, though, I found myself taking the long way through the woods. I stuck to the paved roads this time. I was tired of seeing dead deer every time I wandered off. But as I drove, my eyes were still searching.

Maybe I did want to see one of those things, at least one outside of the Cullen family. Something about knowing of vampires now made an uncomfortable sense of distrust and paranoia settle deep in my gut, something I couldn't shake off.

The trees and everything in between them were the same as they always were. Nothing glowed in warning, there were no wretched echoes, they were just the same damn woods I passed by all my life. I was frustrated, and then I was frustrated for being frustrated.

After dinner that night, I sat in the backyard until the crescent moon was in the center of the sky, and then I took a walk with my flashlight.

Same damn woods as usual. Same damp soil beneath my boots, same invasive wild mint sprouted by the roots of the same maples and Sitkas. Same squirrels. Same thrushes.

I was obsessing, and by the time I realized that, I knew I had gone quite a way's away from the house. Quickly, I backtracked and finally headed for bed, but finding sleep was just as easy as the previous night.

A rarity occurred the next morning, to my surprise, when I found the walls brighter than usual. The sun had decided to show its blazing face for once in weeks. I felt like I had to take this as a good sign.

Bella had already eaten breakfast and left by the time I made my coffee. I'd slept in a bit, so I did my best to hurry and catch up with the day. Exhaustion still wracked my brain, but it seemed a little more bearable this time.