I Kissed a Girl Chapter 27, a glee fanfic

Chapter 27: I Hate This Part

Two weeks later, the Glee club was still basking in the afterglow of their win at Nationals. Santana was feeling especially great because since they won, that meant that Santana still got her sexy times. And the celebratory sex after their win, that was some of the best she ever had.

Their lives at school also improved greatly. The Glee club was now some of the most popular kids at the school. Apparently, just like Principal Figgins, the school really liked winners. Now that they had proved to be the best singers and dancer, everyone has realized how talented they really are.

The only issue had now was her little sister. She liked to wake at least 3 or 4 times a night and though her mother said she could handle it, Santana still got up often to try to coax Isabella back to sleep. She was sharing the workload with her mother since they no longer had her father.

Her mother had also gotten a new puppy. The newest addition to the family was a 3-month-old German Sheperd puppy named Joker. Maria had decided to get the dog so that she would feel safer in the house at night, especially with the baby. Joker liked to sleep in Santana's room and whenever the girl locked him out, he would scratch and whine at her door until she got fed up and let the dog in. Joker would then jump onto her bed and proceed to lick her face as she tried to push him off of her and tell him to lay down. Eventually the dog would lay next to her, but Joker would get up multiple times because he wanted to be let out then back into the room.

Santana started to walk around the school like a zombie because she was so tired all the time. Rachel felt bad for her girlfriend because she wasn't getting any sleep, but Santana was also starting to get on her nerves. Santana was giving Rachel and everyone else a lot more attitude than usual. Yesterday was the perfect example of Santana's attitude.

Rachel and Santana were on the Latina's bed after school. Rachel was leaning against the wall with Santana's head in her lap, running her fingers through the raven locks. Rachel could tell that the other girl had fallen asleep in her lap. She was glad though, the girl needed to sleep and Rachel was content as long as she was near the other girl. Too soon, Rachel heard Maria call the girls downstairs for dinner.

Rachel kept her fingers in the other girl's hair as she leaned down slightly and spoke softly, "San, baby girl, it's time for dinner."

Santana groaned lightly and snuggled closer to Rachel, "5 more minutes."

Rachel sighed quietly, she wanted the girl to sleep, but she also knew that she needed to eat. So she tried again, kissing her head lightly, "I know you're tired Sweetie, but you have to eat and then you can go to bed."

Santana sighed and slowly lifted her head up, rubbing her tired eyes. She stood and held her hand out for Rachel. The shorter girl took the proffered hand, standing up so she could walk downstairs with her girlfriend.

Isabella was already in bed for the night and when they made it downstairs, Joker came bounding over, wagging his tail. He jumped onto Rachel and Santana immediately reprimanded him, "Down, bad boy."

The dog got off of the young singer, but still wagged his tail, trying to get attention. Rachel reached down to scratch his head before she followed her girlfriend into the dining room where Maria was putting the last of the food on the table.

"Thank you Mami," Santana kissed her cheek before she sat down with Rachel.

"Yes, thank you Mama," Rachel smiled at the older woman as they all sat.

"It is no problem," Maria smiled as the three of them dug into their dinner.

They were making small talk until Santana asked a question that caused everything to go downhill, "Hey, Rach, did you ask your fathers if you could spend the night after our date?"

Rachel bit her lip and looked at the other girl, "I asked them this morning and they said that it was too last minute and also it's a school night."

"What? That is bull. Last minute would be asking them when I pick you up tomorrow," Santana scowled, crossing her arms.

Rachel put a hand on her crossed arms, "I know babe, they just would prefer it if I gave them a few days advanced notice so they could talk it over."

"Well then maybe you should have asked when I asked you to go on the date 3 days ago," Santana shot back, shrugging the hand off of her.

Rachel shook her head, "It still would have been a no because it is a school night."

Santana scoffed, "It's not like I can't get you to school the next morning."

"I know that baby, they just are worried about us staying up too late," Rachel explained, trying to calm her girlfriend.

"That is complete crap. If we wanted to stay up late together we could call each other or text. I just figured it would be better since the date will go a little late," Santana scowled hard.

"I know, it's just because it's a school night," Rachel reached over and grabbed her hand.

Santana pulled her hand away and stood, "I'm not hungry anymore, goodnight."

Rachel sighed as she watched her walk away before standing and dejectedly told Maria, "I guess I'll just go home."

"Don't take what she said to heart, she didn't mean it," Maria told her daughter's girlfriend.

Rachel nodded and hugged her before she walked out of the house.

Now, Rachel was standing at her locker, getting her books ready for her first 3 classes when Santana walked up behind her, "Hey babe."

"Hi," Rachel answered dryly before she closed her locker and walked away.

Santana frowned and followed after her, "Are you mad at me?"

That made Rachel stop and spin around, "Yes, I am angry with you. Why wouldn't I be after last night?"

"I am the one who should be angry," Santana crossed her arms.

Rachel laughed humorlessly, "And why is that you are the one who should be angry?"

"Because I asked you out on this date 4 days ago and instead of talking to your dads about it that day you decided to wait until it was too late," Santana told her.

Rachel threw her hands up in the air, raising her voice slightly, "Even if I had asked them that day they would have said no because it is a Thursday night!"

"You also said it was because you asked last minute, so if you had asked earlier then there is a chance that they could have said yes," Santana pointed out to her.

"Santana, I know my fathers," Rachel said impatiently. "If I had asked them 2 weeks ago, they would have said no because it's a school night. It's not like we can't go out and enjoy a nice date without me spending the night."

"Maybe I don't even want to go on this date anymore," Santana turned on her heel and walked away.

Rachel let out a frustrated groan before walking the rest of the way to her class. She was starting to get tired of Santana's mood swings and snark. She didn't know what was making Santana so bitchy lately, but Rachel was determined to figure it out before she murdered her girlfriend.

Rachel was also upset because she had been looking forward to this date ever since Santana asked her. The two girls have only been on one date in the entirety of their relationship and it had been a wonderful experience. She was also hoping it would help relax the Latina. Apparently she was wrong.

When the bell rang for lunch, Rachel rushed to the cafeteria. She knew that she was going to be the last one there because her class was on the other side of the school. She didn't know exactly what she was going to say to the other girl, but she had a good idea about where to start.

Once she got to the cafeteria, she saw that Santana had planted herself between Puck and Brittany. This irritated Rachel even more. She strode over to the table with determination written on her face.

She stopped behind the taller girl and cleared her throat, "May I speak with you outside?"

Her voice was crisp and curt, which caused all the other Glee members to look her way. They could tell that she definitely wasn't happy and prayed that Santana could tell this also.

It was clear that she didn't when she spoke up, "Why can't we just talk in here?"

"Because, I don't believe this is a conversation you would like to have aired out in front of our friends," Rachel said as calmly as she could muster.

"Well I am not going to just leave my friends just because you want to talk," Santana told her flippantly. "If you want to talk to me you can do it in here or you can wait until a later time."

All the Gleeks cursed their friend's stupidity. Before they could say anything, Rachel stormed around the table to stand in front of the girl. She looked more pissed than anyone can remember seeing the tiny diva.

"I want you to listen and listen closely or so help me God Santana Marie Lopez," and that is when Santana finally realized that she was in trouble. "I have been trying to be patient with you, but you have grated on my last nerve. You have been giving me nothing but attitude these past few weeks. I have tolerated it because I knew you were tired and stressed, but no more. You have been disrespectful when all I have tried to do is help you. I am done being your personal verbal punching bag. Tonight was supposed to be a nice, wonderful date for the two of us, but you had to ruin it because everything is not going exactly how you planned it. You know when the last time we went on a date was? Our first date. That is the only time we have gone on a date. So I will be ready at 6:30, if you don't show up, then I know that you are done with this relationship."

With that said, she stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving Santana knowing that she had really stepped in it this time. Quinn reached over the table to slap her upside her head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for Tubbers?" Santana rubbed the spot.

"For being an idiot," Quinn crossed her arms. "We could all tell that she was angry the minute she walked in and you just had to make it worse. You better fix it or you are going to lose the best thing that has ever happened to you."

With that, all conversation ceased. Everyone hoped that Santana would come to her senses and make things right with Rachel. No one wanted to see the girls heartbroken again.

Rachel and Santana went the rest of the day without talking to each other. Rachel had been hoping that the other girl would come up to her and when she didn't, Rachel despaired more.

At 5:30, Rachel began to get ready. She hoped that she wasn't doing it all in vain, she didn't want to get dressed up for a night at home. No, she had to have more faith than that. If she didn't, then what would be the point in continuing this relationship? She had to believe that her girlfriend would come pick her up and they would have a nice dinner, talk and work out their issues, then go to the theatre.

At 6:25, Rachel went downstairs to wait for the other girl. She was feeling very nervous and her fathers could tell because they stayed in the kitchen in case she needed them rather than going to their room.

When the clock struck 7:15, Rachel began to cry. She couldn't believe that Santana was done with them. She thought that what they had really was love, that Santana would show up and everything would be okay again. The heartbreak Rachel felt in that moment was indescribable.

Her father came out to comfort their daughter. They sandwiched her between them, kissing her head. Rachel cried into her fathers, "How could she not show up? Does she not love me?"

"I am sure that she loves you baby girl," Hiram tried to reassure the diva, but he knew that nothing he said right now would not be heard by the young girl.

Rachel was still crying in her fathers' arms when the doorbell rang about 45 minutes later. LeRoy went to answer the door. On the other side of the door stood a frazzled looking Santana holding a bouquet of pink lilies, Rachel's favorite.

LeRoy gave Santana a look that she had never seen directed at her from the older man. He was furious with her, "You had better be here with a great apology because we have been trying to calm her down for almost an hour."

Santana looked down in shame, "I'm sorry Sir, I didn't mean to be so late, I-"

LeRoy cut her off, "Don't tell me, go tell her."

Santana nodded and walked past him, going towards the living room. It broke her heart to see the love of her life sobbing brokenly into her father because of her. She walked over and kneeled in front of her, "Rach... baby."

"Santana?" Rachel pulled away from Hiram to look at the other girl, wiping her tears. "What are you doing here an hour and a half late?"

Hiram stood and left the two to talk it out privately. "I know that I'm late baby, but I swear that I didn't mean to be," Santana pleaded with her to understand. "I was ready at 5:45, I was going to pick up flowers and convince myself and you that I wasn't a complete jackass. Mami hadn't come back from the store yet, I had to watch Bella until she got back. Then she started crying and no matter what I did she would not stop crying. As soon as my mom got home, we started arguing then I came here."

Rachel jumped up and away from her, throwing her arms up, "You could have at least called Santana. I would have understood if you had let me know that you were going to be late. Instead I sat her like an idiot, waiting for you, believing you didn't love me anymore."

"I do, I love you so so much Rachel," Santana walked closer, gently grabbing her hands. "I know that I should have called, but she was crying so much and I didn't want her to get sick. I also couldn't find my phone. When I finally calmed her and put her to bed, I tried to look for my phone, but my mother came in. We started to argue and she called me a bitch, which hurt coming from my own Mami. But, it must be the truth because I left the most amazing girl in the world waiting for a date that she deserves. I stormed out of the house after that, without my phone. I am not making excuses, I just want you to know that I would never intentionally be late when it comes to you."

Rachel pulled her hands away to angrily wipe her eyes, "You could have taken Isabella with you to come pick me up, then we could have waited together for your mom. I wouldn't have minded waiting if I had known why. I would have gladly watched her with you, as long as I was with you."

"I wasn't thinking like that," Santana shook her head slightly. "I was too flustered."

"Then I am obviously not important enough for you to think about!" Rachel yelled, rubbing her temples and closing her eyes. She spoke her next sentence quietly, "Please leave Santana, I can't do this right now."

Santana got down on her knees and hugged Rachel around the waist, head on her stomach, "Please... Please don't leave me. I love you so much. I want to be with you. I need you, Rachel. I know that I messed up, but I don't want to lose you, please. Baby, please."

Santana was now crying against the other girl and it took all of Rachel's will power to detach the arms from her waist, "San... I can't. Please leave."

Rachel ran up the stairs before Santana could say anything else, leaving her kneeling brokenly on the floor. The Latina let out a broken sob, knowing that she had just lost the best thing to ever happen to her. She knew that Rachel hadn't broken up with her, but she knew that this was one thing that was going to be hard to fix. She had pushed Rachel too far.

The men, who she had forgotten was there, came out and made a move towards the hard-headed girl. She shook her head and stood up, running out of the house and into her car where she started to bawl. It took her half an hour before she could even start her car to head home. The whole ride, she thought of Rachel. Her smile, her laugh, her voice, everything about the diva.

The next day Santana showed up school, more drained then she had ever remembered feeling. She had been crying all night, she even watched the sunrise, though it wasn't beautiful to the girl who was having her own inner turmoil. She wanted to make things right with Rachel, but the other girl was avoiding her.

After school, Santana walked slowly to her locker, putting all of her book in there before she went to Glee. She wasn't sure how she was going to get through Glee if Rachel wasn't talking to her. She closed her locker and stood there, staring at the locker as she thought. She didn't notice the two blondes walking up to her until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

She turned to come face to face with Quinn and Brittany. Quinn was the first to speak up, "What happened last night?"

Santana looked down at the floor and felt her throat tighten, "I-I was late because Mami came home late. I didn't call her because I couldn't find my phone. When I showed up at 8, we argued and she told me to leave."

Quinn shook her head, "I told you to fix it, not make it worse."

"Don't you think I would rather have Rachel in my arm and not hating me," Santana yelled. "I know I fucked up! I know that I am a horrible person."

"San-" Brittany started, but the dark-haired girl shook her head and walked off toward the choir room quickly.

When Santana walked in, she saw Rachel sitting between Kurt and Mercedes, the two divas trying to cheer her up. Santana could tell the other girl had been crying. She looked down because she knew it was because of her. She sat as far away from Rachel as she could, which hurt her more than anything.

Once everyone was inside, Mr. Schue started, "Well, since we have to competitions to get ready for, does anyone have anything they want to sing?"

Rachel stood and took center stage, "I do."

Santana looked up at the other girl. She knew that whatever happened next could go one of two ways. Either Rachel will forgive Santana, or she would break up with Santana. The ex-cheerios was worried that this wouldn't go the way that she wanted.

Rachel looked over at Santana, "I thought about this a lot last night after you left. I realized, that this was the only course of action I can take. I can't handle it anymore Santana."

She took a seat at the piano and as Santana heard the opening notes to another Pussycat Dolls song, she started to tear up. This was definitely not going to be like the first time Rachel sang the Pussycat Dolls to her.

"We're driving slow through the snow on 5th Avenue
And right now radio's all that we can hear
Now we ain't talked since we left, it's so overdue
It's cold outside but between us it's worse in here," Rachel didn't look up at Santana. She couldn't bear to see the look she knew the other girl wore on her face.

"The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left is good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you," She finally looked up at Santana, both girls had tears streaming down their faces. Even the other Gleeks had tears in their eyes. They knew that this was the end of the girl's relationship and they hurt for the girls. They knew that they loved each other.

"I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here," Rachel sang softly. She had stood from the piano, Brad taking over for her, and she was now in front of the Latina, gently wiping her tears away.

"Everyday, 7 takes of the same old scene
Seems we're bound by the laws of the same routine
Gotta talk to you now before we go to sleep
But will we sleep once I tell you what's hurting me

The world slows down
But my heart beats fast right now
I know this is the part
Where the end starts

I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left is good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you

I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take your tears
I hate this part right here," Rachel stepped away from the other girl and took center stage once again, pouring her heart out into the song as she cried, barely holding it together to sing the song.

"I know you'll ask me to hold on
And carry on like nothing's wrong
But there is no more time for lies
Cause I see sunset in your eyes," Rachel held out the long note, singing under the girls, Santana included, as the did the chorus for her.

"I can't take it any longer
Thought that we were stronger
All we do is linger
Slipping through our fingers
I don't wanna try now
All that's left is good-bye
To find a way that I can tell you."

Rachel was phenomenal on the next part, hitting the high notes. Everyone would have appreciated more if not for the message of the song, "That I gotta do it,
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it
I hate this part
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it,
I gotta do it."

Rachel walked to Santana once again, cupping her cheeks as she finished the song softly, "I hate this part right here
I hate this part right here
I just can't take these tears
I hate this part right here."

Rachel kneeled in front of her, grabbing her hand, "This isn't just about last night, Santana. This has been a long time coming. I can't handle the back and forth with you anymore Santana. I still love you, and I probably always will, but we just aren't working anymore. I want to end this now, before we hate each other. This seemed like a great idea when we first started, but it has just all gone down hill these past few weeks and I can't do it anymore. We need to break-up."

Santana choked back a sob and nodded, "I... I know that I haven't been the best girlfriend, in fact, I have been horrible to you recently. I love you, so much, I just don't know what is wrong with me right now. If break-breaking-up with me is what you think is best, then I will respect your decision. I don't want us to be apart, but I don't want to fight for something you have given up on."

Rachel looked down, "it's not that I have given up, I just-"

"You just can't deal with me anymore," Santana resigned quietly. She stood and walked past Rachel, taking center floor. "This will be my last song in Glee club, at least for this year." She walked over to Brad and whispered in his ear. He nodded and started to play.

"I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road
And its not like her to drive that slow, nothings on the radio
Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell
She usually comes right in, now I can tell

Here comes goodbye, here comes the last time
Here comes the start of every sleepless night
The first of every tear I'm gonna cry
Here comes the pain, here comes me wishing things had never changed
And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye," Santana was sitting on a stool, singing softly, tears still coming down her face.

Rachel watched Santana sing and looked down, crying into herself. She knew that she was hurting the other girl, but if they stayed together, it would have caused both of them more pain.

Santana poured her heart out, filling the room with her voice, sadness and hurt lacing every word and everyone could feel it, "I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday
And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way
One day I thought I'd see her with her daddies by her side
And violins would play here comes the bride

Santana stood and walked closer to Rachel as she sang the next part, "Why does it have to go from good to gone?
Before the lights turn on, yeah and you're left alone
All alone, but here comes goodbye

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Once she was done, the Latina turned and ran out of the room, crying hard. She couldn't believe that she had messed up so bad that she lost the love of her life. She wished she could take everything back, but she knew that she couldn't. She would have to deal with the consequences of her actions.

She had lost Rachel Berry and she felt like she was sinking.

A/N: I know I am evil for ending the book that way, especially after so long of not posting anything, but I had this ending in mind for awhile now, just so that we can have an interesting start to the second book, which I will be making. I will write a couple of chapters before I post it however so that you don't have to wait so long between chapters. The songs used in this chapter are I Hate This Part by the Pussycat Dolls (also the title of this chapter) and Here Comes Goodbye by Rascal Flatts.