Final Fantasy VIII and all characters belong to Square Enix.

Chapter 1

Your shoulder was angry red, the divot in your chest looking as though it pulsed with heat. The healing wound looked so different from the rest of your paper-white skin, out of place on your mostly unmarred body. I wanted to reach out and brush the wound, but I stopped myself. I didn't want to hurt you, even though your magically induced coma was supposed to be protecting you from the pain. Instead, I settled for watching you, just touching your hand lightly with a single finger.

The room was so quiet. Not that the infirmary was ever really loud, but now, in your private room, the only sound was the machine breathing for you. It rhythmically plugged along, hissing as it filled your lungs with air unevenly. I watched your chest rise and fall, still stroking your hand, carefully avoiding the needle snaking into your vein. I wished for the thousandth time that you'd finally sit up, take the tape off your eyelids, and fix me with one of your icy glares. Yell at me for letting people take care of you. Yell at me for being such a blind idiot, so easily controlled. Following the tubes and wires hooking into your body with my eyes, I forced myself to swallow back yet another lump in my throat.

"What are you still doing here?" Dr. Kadowaki bustled in with her usual supply cart, ready to clean your wound, give you another cure, and make sure your body was moved. The weeks of lying in a bed haven't been kind. I can tell you've lost weight. You'll be mad about the lost muscle when you wake up.

"I couldn't sleep." I don't take my eyes off you. I know Doc is rolling her eyes behind me.

"Did you even try?"

"I have to be here when he wakes up." I make my voice sound more stable than it actually feels. Dr. Kadowaki puts a hand on my shoulder. It's warm compared to your cold one.

"He knows it wasn't you." She says as though it's so simple, removing her hand and moving past me to examine you. I've watched her process for three weeks now, but I still get nervous as she tests your reflexes, shines a light in your eyes before securing them shut once more. I clench my hands into fists, praying that you're still in there, healing, biding your time. It seems like forever before Doc turns around to face me.

"No change. His body is still responsive, at least. We'll need to try and let him wake up soon." I flinch at that but force my hands to relax. "Seifer, you need to get some sleep." Doc says before I can speak up, folding her arms. It's very Squall-like; you'd approve.

"I won't leave him." I can't. I have to be here when you wake up. I have to apologize and tell you that I didn't know what I was doing and that I love you and I would never, ever go another day without telling you that.

"If I wheel in another cot, will you please lie down for a while?" A soft hand touched my jaw and made me look up. I nodded, meeting Kadowaki's chestnut eyes. "You can't get too close. Be mindful of the tubes and don't get tangled in the wires…" She trailed off as she left the room, propping the door open. I dropped my head again, staring at your pale skin, your nearly blue fingernails, the vein pulsing gently beneath your skin.

"Please don't leave me…" I murmured. I hope you hear me, wherever you are.

Lights and music blared as the float made its way through Deling City. Matron stood in the center, beautiful and full of confidence. I stood behind her, a smirk in place, my head filled with fog. I couldn't remember how I got here, but the cheers from the crowd brought me pleasure. Something tingled in the back of my mind, telling me to enjoy it and just let go. I did.

The fog clouding my mind didn't really lift at all until I saw a car weaving through the street, squealing to a stop in front of the float. I looked around, seeing our parade float had been trapped behind a gate. When did that happen? I watched Matron float calmly to meet whoever got out of the car. My head felt full of bees as I stumbled forward, following her without really knowing why. I remember her voice soothing me as she told me to fight, and I did. My legs felt like gelatin and my head felt like it might float away at any moment, but I swung Hyperion with everything I had anyway, feeling like a poorly controlled marionette. There was pain, then there was shame, and then there was nothing as I slumped back next to Matron and a voice soothed me once more.

The group of unfamiliar faces settled around Matron and started to fight. Dimly, I wondered what I should be doing. Magic was thrown back and forth, but my legs wouldn't work. I couldn't even close my eyes. All I could do was stare, mouth hanging open, drooling like I had been shot up with three doses of morphine. I couldn't even pull it together when Matron finally lost her patience, ceasing the battle. I watched as she called up her sorceress magic. The air chilled and I could feel her power in my own bones, icy cold as it formed into something tangible. Was this real? Was I dreaming? I rubbed my cheek, feeling disconnected from my own hand. The fog in my mind shifted as I watched Edea throw the icicles, her golden eyes dead. It shifted again as I saw them hit their mark, knocking one of the fighters off the float.

The fog in my mind broke apart as I recognized that face before it tumbled into darkness, recognized that scar between closed eyes. Something inside me shattered. The roaring in my ears built up until I thought my head would burst, the bees were angry, there was mocking laughter from somewhere nearby, and then suddenly there was blissful silence. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as I quickly leapt past the girl in blue, ignoring the familiarity I felt looking at her horrified face. I heard nothing as I jumped off the float without hesitation, landing rough on my knees next to the limp body. The pain helped keep my mind clear and I relished it, reaching for the man with shaking hands. The magic icicle stuck out of his chest vertically, the bottom half shattered against the pavement, warm blood pooling underneath to melt the broken shards into nothing.

The body was pale, trembling as the blood poured out. I knew I shouldn't move him, but there wasn't another option. Using my own magic, I broke through the icicle near his chest with fire, scooping up the man as gently as I could. I used curative magic to try and stop the bleeding around the icicle's stump as much as possible without doing more harm. I felt the sticky blood cascade down my own side as I supported the man, running, going for help. I thought I heard people calling my name. Was that even my name? My mind started to cloud over once more. Before the fog could take hold again, I forced myself to look down into the face of the fighter.

"Squall." I said aloud. My head cleared once more.