The truth. I know it's hard for you to speak it, but it will come out soon. I know in the beginning we both lied, we both were not truthful with each other. But the moment we married, we agreed not to look back on our past, but to the future. I thought you really did love me, and really cared. Now I know that is not the truth. You did it out of guilt, and for your own gain. You continued even after the marriage to lie, and cheat, and use me. I did not. Not once have I cheated in our marriage. Have there been men in our bedroom since we been married? Yes. But, if you recall EVERYTIME there was someone else, it was mainly for you. I was never alone with them, you were always there. You are the one who says it turns you on to watch me with someone else, I never needed that. You could never understand that all I wanted was you. I have told you many times, in the emails and texts and by mouth (which i have all printed out), I DO NOT want anyone else. It was for you. For your pleasure. I did things I did not want to do, but I did them for you. And how do I get repaid? You cheating on me behind my back, and then putting me at risk for a std. You got tested and never told me until i found your papers, which i still have too. I found the papers and got tested myself, and I am completely clean down the board. So your first argument about me giving it to you was false, as well as your second argument about you always having it, because after 20 years I would have had it as well. But, of course you can never take any blame for what is going on. You say its my fault because i don't satisfy you. Well, if you recall you were the one who couldn't satisfy me. I would have to stroke your ego 99% of the time, so if that is a reason to be cheating then I should have been the one to cheat, in which I DID NOT! But with you, it didn't matter, man or woman, or who gets hurt. That's why I quit that midnight job, when i found out you were bringing strange men in our home to have fuck you while i was at work and our girls were in the next room. I didn't want to come home to you dead and my kids missing and no leads because you just had to be ass fucked. And of course, you made that all my fault as well. You put our children at risk with your online adventures even after we moved back to Michigan, but didn't care. If I had done what you did, you would be furious! But since you were the one to do all that, then it's ok, right? You don't know how to care about others truly, just yourself and what you can get out of it. And you can't say you were with me because you did care about me, because that is a lie. You had guilt, for breaking my neck, that's why we made up that sleeping on couch lie. I made the mistake at not calling the police. I didn't want the kids to have to write their fatherr in jail, so I said nothing. You didn't want to have to pay child support, so you came back before the state could start that. You never was with me for good intentions except your own. You used me, and even in the end you were still a selfish bastard.
I have worked hard hours to pay bills, while you built up your workshop. But when it came time to split things, I want you to tell me, if everything that was split was reversed, would you be happy? Would you be happy leaving with nothing while your cheating lying ex got it all? We were supposed to split the house, 50/50. But because you waited til court (I even gave you money that morning) to say that your mother did not want to sell (remember, YOU are the one who brought her into the court) that I would only then get the 25%. And because you know I need out from your abuse, I would take anything. I could have let the court be rescheduled, got myself a lawyer with all the texts, emails, and the deposit slips for the mortgage that has my name on the deposit, and showing I was the one paying, I could have gotten my fair share, and everyone will know of your lies and infidelity, both male and female. But I fear you. I have all rights to. You have physically, and mentally and emotionally abused me. And I needed away from you. So, you got everything while I had to work up from scratch while supporting OUR daughter. But, I have done it before, and I will do it again. It's nice to know I don't have you anymore to make me feel inferior, to feel like I can't do anything right. You are nothing but a parasite, someone who needs someone to survive.
Family. So you said that your family is still my family when we divorced. I don't see any truth in it. Not a single one of your family (with only ONE exception) has even cared to talk with me, to ask how I am doing. You say I need to talk to them first, so I should go up and say "I was cheated on, I was used, I was abused", and if they didn't believe then show them all the shared emails I have screenshotted, all the texts from you, and every evidence I have I could show them. But, I let you tell your lie to keep your family. Let them believe what you told them, that I was the unfaithful one is why they were ok with you having someone else to bring over while we were still married. YOU know the truth, but refuse to speak it. The truth will come out, complete with all evidence I have of your infidelity, and you are the one who wanted a swinging lifestyle, not me. I have repeated over and over again how I DO NOT want anyone but you… but you never believed me, and was not happy unless some man was in our bed so you can play too. The man was NEVER for me… it was always for you. I knew that when the one time I felt like a third wheel as you were sucking him, I even told you after that I didn't want to anymore because I am not comfortable with it. It's a big risk, but yet I took that risk to make you happy. But me putting myself on the line for possible pregnancy or an std, didn't mean anything to you. You went and got the std from someone else, and put me at risk. But, does your family know that? Do they know that you encouraged the other man in the bedroom? That I was faithful, cuz as you said as long as you were there it was not cheating. You tried to encourage me to do something alone, and I refused. Over and over I refused. You probably wanted me to so you would feel better about your deceiving poker nights, that ranged from different days and different times. But I know it was to be with another married woman. Does her husband know? Does he know he needs to be tested as well? Because, it's sad if you kept your test finding from the one who gave it to you, and even worse if she doesn't tell her husband. Or does he know of you two? I don't know. You kept your love life a secret from me for over 2 years. Yes, you have cheated before, went on trips with "a friend" and you think I am stupid. Well, I knew you were lying. But you can never own up to your mistakes. Never have, never will. And I do pray that you may have some kind of conscious and remorse for what you have done. But I know you have not. You can't accept any blame, you turn it all around. Like when I found that proof of your infidelity, It turned around to my fault because I can't satisfy you. Well, I tried. I went out of my comfort zone many times to please you, and you never thought about me, what I want. I told you what I have wanted many times.. JUST YOU! Even if you can't make me orgasm 90% of the time, I have made you happy and satisfied 99% of the time. So that argument is invalid. The reason would be more like you are selfish and will do what you want to do. You said nothing to me because you didn't want me to leave just yet, I was working and paying bills. You were happy having your secret life and someone to care for things at the house. It didn't matter that I worked long hours, and come home to care for the house as well, because you don't do housework unless you invited someone to our house while I was at work. Yes, I know someone was there. I do have eyes. I am smart. You NEVER do housework.. and you NEVER text and call me constantly in two hours straight to see when i come home. I still have that text as well. I don't know if it was a man or woman, but someone was there, and in my bed as well. And yes, same bed WE bought with the taxes because I needed a new mattress to sleep on with my spinal issues I have had ever since you broke my neck. The same bed you were adamant to get in the divorce, and was sent to an air mattress. You told me to buy my own mattress while I was there. I was too busy paying for everything to get my new place situated. By the way, I signed the lease just 6 days after the divorce. I had a home for all of November and December. I stayed at the house so I could still pack things without having you trying to rush me out so you can have the house to yourself and have your "sluts" over sooner. (Yes sluts, thats what you said you wanted me to be for you, so that is where you are not satisfied because I couldn't be a slut for you) I had those two months to do what I needed to do. I still put my Christmas tree up on my birthday (which was pretty sad that you didn't even care enough to wish me a happy birthday until that night. "Didn't realize the date. Happy Birthday." You texted it, and I was in the same told me you never did care about me. And never even a "Happy Mother's Day", to thank the mother of your children.) And I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas with my girls here as well. Then got the rest out of the house. I am still working on getting things, and I will survive. You were selfish, and still am. And it will catch up to you someday. I am not selfish, I think of others before myself, and that is what I still will do in the future. Because when you think of others, good things happen. I may not have any family here except my kids, I have many friends that I have made that love me just the same as family. And they have helped me out as I have them. And that is a better relationship to have than what selfish people have. I pity you on that. You have no real friends, someone who knows the real truth, not your sugar coated lie. Well, maybe your southern friend. But he is as much as a man whore as you. That's why you both get along. He doesn't think you cheating is bad, cuz he sees it as ok as well.