this is my first time writing in english,
sorry if i made any mistakes.
"time passes, everything changes. people change, such as seasons, when we're young, we are growing to this world, unexperienced, innocent, such as white flowers on trees that appear in the spring. we're fragile, gentle, it's easy to hurt us, so we must be protected. summer is what comes next, full of life, warm, as look in our eyes that are full of hope, full of dreams for future, for someone summer stays for many months, years, but for someone, it's cut down right after everything started to settle on its place. autumn, beautiful, but dying. the soul dries up, dreams disappear with the wind, rain starts to fall often, and heart... break, and falls apart. there's no much dreams to dream now, there's nothing to be hopeful about, there's just one way you can go, and that is not the one you would choose many years ago, but it's done. coldness is slowly spreading everywhere, and winter comes inside. unexpectedly, ice starts spreading around you, to protect you for losing that will for life, along with your long lost dreams, and in the blink of eye, years passed, and you know that old you couldn't recognize the person you are now. life made you like that, life made you survivor, life changed you from little child, eyes full of hope, to someone who can't be recognized. lonely... cold..."
- she puts pen down next to paper, and lay head back on the wall. she has been sitting on the floor for a while now, thinking about everything. she remembers the soft smile, and that she won't be able to see it for years. eyes started to full with tears, but she shook her head not letting her to cry again "i have to finish" - she whispers to herself, moves back to first position, and slowly picks up the pen, and bring back ink on the paper.
"the people of whom we think are cold, and that they can't love, is not true. those are the people who will love you deeply, and wouldn't let you know, scared of being hurt again. those who are hurt the most, had the biggest dreams and hearts. broken people will love you, and protect you, but you won't be able to notice, because they won't let you to..."
- she stops again with words, wiping tear that has fallen from left eye "if only i knew..." - words break over the lips, like every hurt more.
"a person like that once told me a story before i have fallen asleep, because i had nightmare, and i didn't notice back then how kind and lovely she was. the story says that we shouldn't be sad about deaths of our loved ones, that they're here, protecting us, and that they're watching us. she didn't know what to add next, so she cut story to part about stars. every time one star falls from the sky, that means one soul goes up there. to make balance, sky takes one person in exchange for the fallen star. that person becomes new star, constantly watching over those she loved the most, keeping them safe. back then, in that cold night i saw a falling star, and thought, which soul was taken next, only if i knew it would be her."
- it's enough though she. "i can't write anymore." - she puts pen down, and folds paper slowly, like it would hurt the person she loved, but didn't realized on time. getting up was the worst part, she would rather choose to stay on the floor and cry, but she knew she had to say goodnight to one star. she went outside, stepped on the grass and earth, remembering how the child of earth's blood, became the one with it. "i wasn't aware of how much i would miss you if you were gone" - she starts looking up to sky. "it's been years, and i still miss you like the first day you went up there. i was your favorite, right?" - she weakly chuckles. "see, im still a child you left here, but i can't be as happy as i were when you were here." - looking up to sky became hard, so she sat down on grass, laying her head on knees. "you were like mother to me for years and i didn't realize. can you... forgive me?" - she looks once again at sky, and bursts out in tears. with every sob she lets out, part of her soul is going to earth,
only she didn't know someone was watching over her for days, months, years... 'you've grown in such a beautiful young lady...' - she said knowing that no one can hear her, but still smiling over that girl whom she loved like daughter she never had.