Chapter 2: Gone, Gone, Gone

"We are gathered here today to celebrate the lives of four wonderful people. We are here to remember them and honor them by being here for the ones they left behind…"

The words washed over Nils, who was barely registering them.. He couldn't be here. It was too much. Too many people. The wrong people. He couldn't talk to them. He couldn't share her with them. He needs to go. He couldn't be here. Too many people. He couldn't do it. He had to leave.

He stood up and walked, determination in his step, out of the hall. He could hear the speaker falter for a moment, but he did not look back. He had to leave. He couldn't face them. He had to be alone. He had to get away. He needed to be alone. He couldn't do it. He had to be alone.

Nils did not stop until he reached the one place he could be alone. He didn't stop until he reached the one place he needed the most at that moment. He stopped in front of a pair of tall oak doors. He reached out and pushed the heavy doors open.

Nothing had changed. The bright and cheerful room was the same as it had always been. The windows were open, paperwork and sheet music were spread across her desk, and, in a sunny corner, her beautiful grand piano stood as proudly as ever. Nils ran his fingers over the perfect ivory keys. He wiped a tear from his cheek. His sister had loved this piano.

Nils turned away from the piano and walked over to his sister's dest. Trying his best not to disrupt the paperwork and music, he took out a blank piece of paper and a pen. It was a fountain pen, the kind Sigrid had always loved. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began to write.

...o0o...

Gunnar cleared his throat before speaking. "The last time I saw my mother, my mama, she was scolding me. Although it would have been nice to have had a loving goodbye or happy moment to remember, this one is perfect. My mother was incredibly dedicated to furthering the education system in Illéa. She cared so much. She visited schools as often as she could. Iy siblings and I used to joke that she cared more about 'the children of Illéa' than her own children. I see now that we couldn't have been more wrong. Yes, she was gone a lot, and yes, she was strict, but she was also the most caring person I have ever met. Even though she was strict and often gone, she did everything she could to make sure we were well cared for. She spent hours and hours finding us the best possible tutors. She always wanted to know how we were doing and if things were bothering us. She paid attention when we talked at dinner. When she was strict it was so that we could learn things from her and not through pain and mistakes. She cared. Maybe she didn't show her love in the same way that other mothers do, but she showed it nonetheless. I see now that she loved us more than anything in the world. And I will love her forever." As Gunnar finished his speech, he walked over to his mother's casket and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Hejdå, Mama." Goodbye, Mom

...o0o...

"My sister… I do not have the words to describe the amazing person she was. She was the best sister I could have ever asked for. She was kind and dedicated and passionate. She was beautiful and confidant and stubborn. She was…she was perfect." Katarina had to stop for a moment. "When I was five, I discovered soccer. Sigrid was not the one who taught me to play, but she was the one that ensured I would be able to continue playing. My mother was a kind and loving woman, but she was also a royal, one who had very high expectations for her children. She insisted soccer was not an appropriate pastime for a young lady like myself. I was devastated. I had fallen in love with soccer. Sigrid was the one I turned too. She was the one I cried for hours and hours. She listened and comforted me, all the things an older sister should do. But she also did something else. She saw how much it meant to me, and she decided to do something about it. She took it into her hands to ensure I could continue. She talked and debated with my mother for days, but finally she came into my room and handed me my soccer ball. 'Go do what you love,' she said to me. Because of her disrespect to my mother, she was not allowed to play music for two weeks. She sacrificed the thing she loved most at the time for me. She sacrificed her piano so I could play soccer. She gave me the greatest gift anyone has ever given me. She gave me soccer." Now Kat turned to look at the coffin lying behind her. The one holding her dead sister. Tears streaming down her face, she leaned down and kissed her sisters forehead. "Jag älskar dig, Sigrid. Nu och för alltid." I love you, Sigrid. Now and forever.

Katarina looked down at her sister for a long time, memorizing every detail of her face. Finally, she brushed away her tears and stood up. She looked out at the crowd before her and nodded politely before slowly walking down to sit with her remaining family.

...o0o...

Ian stood up and walked to the front of the room. People muttered to themselves, surprised to see the King's bastard son speaking. Ian turned to face the crowd, unfazed by their judgement. "I was never close to Queen Sonja, but I was close to my father. I owe him everything. When I was born, instead of throwing me out like many of you would have had him do, he took me in and treated me with love. He gave me a place at his court and loved me as his son. He gave me a home, tutors, clothing, and anything else I might need. He never treated me any differently than his other children. He loved me just the same. I was always a part of the family. I was never made to feel inferior or like an outsider. My siblings too followed in his footsteps and loved me as their brother. But especially my father. I was invited to sit in on privy council meetings with Sigrid, he joked and laughed with me just as he did with Kat, and he loved me as he did all his children. There is nothing I could ever do to thank him enough for all the love and kindness he has shown me, especially when everyone at court turned their backs on me with disdain. No matter what anyone said, he always loved me." At this point, Ian was crying. "Goodbye Dad, I love you forever." Unlike his siblings, Ian only ran his hand along his father's casket before hurrying back to his seat where he was met with hugs from both Gunnar and Kat.

...o0o...

Nils stood outside the hall, waiting for the speaker to finish. He looked down at the piece of paper in his hands, crumpling and uncrumpling it. Maybe this was a mistake. He would probably fall to pieces in front of everyone. It was a bad idea. But he had to. For Sigrid.

Once the speaker finished, Nils took a deep breath, pushed open the heavy doors, and walked into the hall. All eyes turned to him. Nils paid them no fixed his eyes on the photo of Sigrid at the front of the hall and walked to stand in front of it. He gazed at his sister's face for a moment, a single tear fell down to the paper in his hand. Looking back down at the paper, he turned to face the crowd.

"Sigrid, my sister,

I miss you. I miss you so much. Every day since you left I have wandered the halls of this dark palace. I do not know how to live without you. I do not know how to live in a world where you are not here. You were the sun that lit up my world. You were my favorite person. You were the one I would always talk to, the one I felt the most myself around. And now, now I have to live without you.

I remember the first night we slept in separate rooms. I was scared to sleep on my own, so I got out of bed to go to sleep in your room. When I opened my door, there you were. Neither of us could sleep without the other. I remember we spent that whole night talking and playing games. We were so happy to have stayed quiet enough to not wake the night maid. Now though, looking back, I think she was a wake. She just didn't want to interrupt us. She knew we needed each other.

I need you know. The time I need you the most you are not here.

I miss you. And I love you. I will love you forever. As you always promised me, you are my first love.

Kärlek för alltid,

Nils"

First of all, thank you so much to all of you that reviewed! It is so great to see that people are excited about this story! I also really appreciate those of you who have reserved provinces or sent in characters, it means a lot to me.

Updates should be every week, Saturday, Sunday, or Monday, depending on my school work load. Things might change as we get further into the school year, but as of now I have five chapters written ahead, so we should be good for awhile!

The SYOC will be closed on Monday, September 16, but if you need extra time, please shoot me a PM, and I will see what I can do. I also want to let everyone know that this is open to all genders/sexes. There seemed to be a bit of confusion on that, so hopefully that clears things up. If you have any other questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I love hearing from you guys.

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