5. Moments

You sat at the front of the front of your lecture hall watching the freshmen in front of you write faster than you ever thought some of them could as they worked on their midterm exam.

It had been a relatively easy week since midterms allowed for most classes to calm down class and homework wise. However, while many of your students were done with their exams after the class ended, you still had to grade all the essays and tests by the following week.

As you sat facing the group still working on their essays you started to work your way through the many emails that had accumulated over the last few days. While you sorted those that needed responses along with the junk you allowed your mind to wander back to the night in the park a few short weeks ago.

You hadn't realized just how much you had missed connecting with someone until you sat on the small blanket in the middle of the park with Rafael. While he hadn't provided much detail and information about his life you couldn't blame him as you hadn't either.

As a smile crept across your face as you took a sip of your coffee you allowed yourself to remember the way his face would contort with the play as he mouthed parts of the different scenes.

The way his nose scrunched as he smiled and laughed made you smile right along with him causing both of you to laugh along with each other more times than you thought was possible on a first date.

Wait? Was it a first date? Was it a moment of "hanging out" as the kids called it? Was it… WHAT was it?

You allowed your mind to wander a bit longer and question just what the night meant for the both of you as a few more students finished their essays and turned them into you. It wasn't long before you were making your way back to your office to spend the next few hours grading.

As you got settled you thought more about the night at the park and how neither of you had really allowed the other into your backstory and you wondered if you would ever be comfortable telling the story.

Before you realized what you were doing you pulled out your phone and took a picture of the new stack of essays on your desk and sent it with a witty message.

"And you thought Friday nights were a hoot! It's only Tuesday!"

It wasn't until you were mid-stack that you realized you had a missed message.

"Looks like a party! Better watch out for that red pen on top.. I hear he can get a bit carried away! ;)"

You laughed as you read his message and felt the familiar flutters enter your stomach and work their way to your face as a blush crept across your cheeks at his playfulness and flirts. Before you could send back a response you hit the "call" button by his name.

"Barba." He answered and you felt a roughness in his voice that you were sure meant the ADA was still within him.

"Hey.. It's Y/N" You said softly, worried you were bugging him.

"Oh.. Hey! Sorry.." He said as he realized the tone of his voice.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Not at all. Unless you count budgets and reviewing pre-graduation lists for December as 'something'."

"Sounds like we both were having a party in our offices." You said causing you both to chuckle.

"Um.. Do you have any plans for tonight?" You asked as you realized it was nearing 6pm.

"Not particularly. I hadn't even realized the time until now."

"I was going to grab a burger. If you are not too busy with your budgets do you want to join me?"

As you spoke you couldn't help but smile and feel giddy at the anticipation of the two of you spending time together. When he spoke you could hear the same feelings in his voice as he played with you.

"Are you asking me on a date, Y/N? I thought that was supposed to be my job?" He joked as the two of you shared a laugh before he continued.

"I would love to. Do you want me to meet you somewhere?"

"If you are still on campus we could always walk together.." You stated and as you trailed off you could hear your heartbeat in the quietness of the conversation.

"That sounds .. perfect. Meet me on the green in 15?"

"Definitely." You said as the two of you finished the call.

As you made your way towards the green to meet him you couldn't help but wonder why he made you smile so much and wonder if your budding feelings were even possible. You knew what love is.. Was.. or at least thought you knew. Would this be the start of something? Or would this be another crash landing?

"Hey."

"Hey." You said as the two of you shared a smile before walking towards the diner.

As the two of you walked you both would share small smiles between the two of you and after a few moments you spoke, allowing him parts of yourself you never thought you would allow to someone again.

"It wasn't always bad.. There were good moments too. Just.. me leaving to teach.." You started but didn't know even if he wanted to hear the rest.

It wasn't until you felt his hand on your back leading you to a bench off the main path that you realized he was allowing you the space to think and tell him what you wanted to. As the two of you sat he allowed you to think and breath as he just watched you and the world around as you figured out just what to say to him.

"We were engaged, you know.. I started to feel trapped and took the offer to teach in Puerto Rico hoping things would be better." You started.

"They say absence makes the heart grow stronger.. Boy they don't really know do they?" You asked to noone in particular as you looked out towards the world around you.

You could feel his eyes looking at you as you spoke but he never said anything.

"Being down there … working with those kids.. I've never felt so happy. It was an eye opener. Those months down there I was able to see just how bad it had gotten. The moment I arrived home.."

You trailed off without realizing it as you remembered back to the day you knew you needed to start over fully and not just for a few months.

"When I got home you would have thought I had just committed the worst crime. Between the alcohol and the yelling.. I thought maybe if I just ignore it that everything would smooth out but … but I was wrong." You stated as a tear slipped onto your cheek.

"Y/N.."

The two of you shared a look and you saw similar tears in his eyes as he took you into his arms and pulled you into a protective hug. Neither of you were rushed for it to end and as you took the time to enjoy not only his arms around you but also the safeness within them you were happy to let him in and let him know at least a few of the moments you allowed him to.

"Y/N.." He whispered in your ear as he held you.

"I promise you that you will never have to worry about that ever again and I promise you will never have to be scared. I won't let anyone or anything.." He trailed off as you leaned back to look at him.

"I mean it, Y/N. I will never hurt you. I may piss you off and I may disappoint you at some point but I will never hurt you." He said as he placed both of his hands on either side of your face before pulling you closer and softly kissing your lips.

It wasn't a hard or a possessive kiss. Instead it was a soft, unwavering one full of affection and tenderness you had not felt for years.

"Still want to get a burger?" He asked as he gave you a smile when he pulled away with a slight smile.