This time, Roxas will have more screen time and a certain character from another game shall appear. Who it is, you'll have to find out on your own (if the character screen name and name doesn't make it glaringly obvious). What he does is based off of Ryan Higa (nigahiga) from Youtube. So, enjoy.
-miano53
Faraway Friends and More Videogame Rage
In Radiant Garden High School, Prof. Sazh's classroom, Thursday…
Roxas, after being introduced to the rest of the Fair's Thirteen (now Fair's Fourteen), had sat down in Prof. Sazh's classroom after school and waited for the others to show up. Ven came in with many snacks for the group and was followed by Vivi, Zidane, Isa and Lea. "Where's everyone else?" Ven asked.
"They're coming," Lea said.
Within moments, the others came and they began to start another meeting. Zack stood up and said, "Well, the jocks are starting to beat up students again since Black History Month's over. So, what do you want to do?"
"Well, we shouldn't do anything unless they start something first," Roxas said.
"Well, that sounds reasonable," Garnet said.
"We still haven't gotten them back for what happened a month ago," Isa said.
"Well, we should be the ones who are the 'better man'," Firion said.
"I think so too," Vivi said.
"Okay, all those in favor of not killing the jocks just yet, say 'Aye'!" Zack said.
"Aye!" everyone said.
"Okay, meeting adjourned. Now we just hang out," Zack said and sat down.
After coming home, Ven found Roxas in their room, watching videos on Youtube from a guy named HylianKnight_3. The guy was a LPer and a person who just put up parody videos for fun. "Who's that?" Ven said.
"Shh. Look," Roxas said.
The video played and a very light skinned (close to pale) guy with a dark green dress shirt, jeans, a white hat on his head and two small studs in his ears. His video was a parody of the I-Pad and he said in Hyrulian (a mix of German, a bit of Polish and Russian), "From the makers of the 'I-Pad Human', we now present the 'I-Naviman'! Hi, I'm Link Herrmann and have you ever needed to go somewhere and you don't know how to get there? Well, it's now here!"
The words "Now here" and "Nowhere" appeared on the screen and Link continued. "The 'I-Naviman' is a top of the line navigation system!" he said excitedly.
The camera switched to another one of Link's friends, Zelda Kaiser (Wisdom_Girl), was the I-Naviman and she sat in the back of a car. She, in a monotone voice, said, "Turn right in 3.3 kilometers."
The camera switched back to Link. "And who could forget its bonus safety features, like the 'human seatbelt'?" Link asked.
Zelda lunged forward and wrapped her arms around Link, who sat in the driver's seat. "Batteries? Who needs them? Plug-ins? Plug-out! All you need to keep the I-Naviman running is some food!" Link said, throwing food at Zelda.
The sausage patty hit her and she fell to the ground. "Ow…" she said.
"The I-Naviman comes in many different styles, such as: Male," Link said.
With different clothes of a hoodie, his signature hat and jeans, Link appeared as the "Male" I-Naviman. "Turn left," he said.
"Female!" Link said.
"Make left!" Zelda yelled.
"Gangster!" Link said.
"Yo dawg, you best make a right!" another one of Link's friends, Nabooru Sabina (GeruGirl57), said, holding a water gun.
"Ninja!" Link said.
"Yo dawg, you best make a…!" Link's Japanese professor, Impa Yamasaki, said holding a knife (don't ask…).
"Emo!" Link said.
The camera switched to Link and he was wearing goth dress. "Let's just stay home," he said, nearly crying.
"Unconfident," Link said, shrugging his shoulders.
"Left or right…You're the driver, heh," Link said.
"And even some of your favorites, Radiant Pop!" Link said.
What shocked Ven and Roxas was that Terra was in the video. In Spanish, he sung, "In 3.3. kilometers, make a right!"
"Don't believe us? Well, we have footage of 'satisfied customers'," Link said.
The camera switched to Link the I-Naviman sitting in the back and Terra in the driver's seat. The scenery was that of Radiant Garden's and Ven and Roxas was even more shocked. "Turn left at…Turn left at…Recalculating…" Link the I-Naviman said in monotone (but in English).
Terra looked confused and the I-Naviman kept saying, "Make first legal U-Turn at…Recalculating…"
"What?" Terra said.
"Make a right in 50 meters…40 meters…8000 meters…" the I-Naviman said.
"What the…? That doesn't even make sense" Terra said.
"Make left at next right turn…Continue on at 3.2 sandwiches. Park in reverse while going forward. Your destination is approaching on the left in 5…" the I-Naviman.
"Okay. Good," Terra said.
"Years," the I-Naviman said.
"WHAT? WHAT THE…?" Terra yelled.
"Beep," the I-Naviman said.
The camera switched back and Link said, "Oh, did we also tell you that the I-Naviman censors all cursing?"
Back in the car, Terra screamed (while the I-Naviman provided beeps), "HEY MOTHER(beep)! DID YOU SEE ME? I'M (beep) ON THE ROAD NOW, YOU PIECE OF (beep)! YOU BETTER GO HOME NOW 'CAUSE I'M GONNA (beep) YOU AND (beep) CHOP YOUR HEAD OFF! YOU PIECE OF (beep)!"
"Will you stop with those beeps?" Terra yelled. The I-Naviman was silent and Terra sighed.
"Okay…Okay…We're good. We're good," he said to himself, trying to calm down.
"Recalculating…" the I-Naviman said.
"MOTHER!" Terra screamed, looking at the camera.
"Beep," the I-Naviman said.
"So call this number before it's too late!" Link said. The numbers 1-834-343-434343-343235-534543-*2434432345-2453456765-&(*3535-2412 showed up on the screen.
Ten seconds later, the words "too late" appeared and Link (in a rapid voice) said, "The I-Naviman does not protect against HIV, ADD, ADHD, STDs, DVDs, MTVs, BETs, MTV2s, BBCs, HBCs, HBOs, CBSs, ABCs, or NBCs. If you experience any of the following, or even death, be sure to contact your local Apple store immediately! Get your I-Naviman to find your I-Pad Human and don't forget your sausage burger for hunger!"
"TEE (beep)," Link said and the video was over.
Confused, Ven yelled, "Terra!"
Terra, who was eating cereal, came in and said, "What's wrong?" The twins showed him the video and he started laughing.
"What's so funny?" Roxas asked.
"I didn't think the video was going to be this funny. I was actually angry when that guy cut me off on the road," Terra said.
"So…how do you know HylianKnight_3?" Ven asked.
"Oh Link? I met him about three months ago. He's a senior at Hyrule City High School," Terra said.
"Where's Hyrule?" Ven asked.
"In between Germany, Poland and Austria. It was big until the Germans took their land long, long time ago," Roxas replied.
"But how did he get here?" Ven asked.
"He's got a few relatives here. He just asked me to help him with that video after I helped him on a LP a year ago," Terra replied.
"Oh…Well, he's kinda famous," Ven said, looking at HylianKnight's Youtube stats.
"What do you mean, 'kinda famous'? He's very famous. He's got over 53,000 subscribers," Roxas said.
"Oh…What's this?" Ven said. He clicked on the link that said "HylianKnight's best freak outs".
The video popped up and it showed HylianKnight playing…Pokémon Silver. He was in a cave and he told everyone, "I'm staying here only 'cause I'm looking for something. I just hope it's here."
A Koffing appeared it was different than the others. The reason why was that the color hue was blue (from the original purple hue) and it sparkled. Link's reaction was in English, "OH MY GOD!"
When he screamed, the speakers nearly broke and the windows shook. "Wow, I thought I was loud," Ven said.
Link started laughing and he said, "This is something very rare. It's a Shiny Pokémon. There's a 1 in 8,192 chance of getting one of these. Okay, let's see if I can catch it."
Sadly, the enemy Koffing was a level 18 and it used Explosion. That K.O. HylianKnight's Eevee and it fell to the ground. "WHAT? WHAT THE…? ARE YOU SERIOUS?" Link said, nearly crying.
Roxas and Ven burst into laughter and Terra attempted to stifle his (due to food in his mouth). "Man that sucked," Roxas said, feeling sorry for poor Link.
"No! No! NO! I imagined that. I imagined that," Link said. He rewound the video and it showed his worse fear.
"Oh God! I didn't imagine that! What the heck…?" Link said, cursing and crying.
"Poor guy," Terra said and the video ended. He then left, laughing the whole time.
"So...any playthroughs today?" Ven asked.
"Yup. We'll go through the submerged castle in Pikmin 2," Roxas said. He turned on the game, introduced Ven and himself and started playing.
As he passed up Water Wraiths, Bomb Rocks and other hazards, Roxas was about to exit the level with all his Pikmin. Stupidly, he looked off the screen and started to check his Pikmin count. Sadly, a Bomb Rock fell from the ceiling and killed 89 of his 99 Pikmin. "Oh no! Oh no!" Roxas screamed.
Shock came over him and he said, "Gah…Wha…Um…"
His voice was high-pitched and he said, "Ah…If you're wondering what happened to my voice, I think the initial shock gave me instantaneous sex-change surgery…from internally….W-what happened?"
Ventus started laughing and Roxas yelled in his normal voice, "What the (beep) happened?"
"Now he gotta restart," Ven said, still laughing.
"Shutty…" Roxas said.
Later…
Roxas finished part of the submerged castle and looked quite sullen. He sighed and said, "Well, I'll try again on tomorrow. I lost…120 Pikmin just by this level alone…"
"Yeah, that means you suck," Ven said. Roxas glared at him and the twins started fighting, ending the video. Before it could go any further out of hand, Terra entered the room and separated the two.
Well, that's Roxas's rage fest. Poor guy. Oh and I really want to write a Zelda version of this called Life in Hyrule City, or something like that. What do you guys think?