'You'll have to tell me exactly how you did it, because, Hidan, I was dead, I know,' said Kakuzu as they made their way over the rubble of fallen buildings and out through the ruined outskirts of Konoha.

'Fuck, dude, not now,' Hidan moaned, 'Let's get out of this shithole before we have our cosy little gossip, OK?' The unaccustomed pain was making him cranky, and the whole place made him nervous. He wanted his scythe back.

'As you like,' Kakuzu replied imperturbably, 'although I don't think we're in much danger here. I'll admit, this isn't what I expected to see...'

Hidan only grunted in reply. The place was really getting to him, and in fact his heart was beginning to echo his feelings, beating very rapidly with a slight unevenness. Kakuzu put a hand to his chest and frowned in annoyance.

'Oi, Hidan, calm down,' he said. 'I know you don't like it, but I really ought to restock a bit while we're here. We don't know when we might meet anyone on the road.'

'Fine!' Hidan growled. Of course it made sense. The sooner Kakuzu was restocked, the sooner he could have his own heart back. And - he smirked slightly, turning his head to hide it from Kakuzu - it seemed to be giving Kakuzu problems. He was glad - it obviously still considered itself his.

Meanwhile, Kakuzu had spotted a dark figure moving slightly among the wreckage and went over. A young chuunin, his lower half trapped under the wreckage, gasping and delirious with pain. Kakuzu ended it for him swiftly.

He gained a second heart in a similar manner, while Hidan looked on with bored indifference and slight distaste. 'You should offer those deaths to Jashin, you know,' he said as they moved on. It's fucking grim, man, what you do, but I'm sure he'd appreciate it all the same.'

'I thought you'd given up trying to convert me long ago,' Kakuzu sighed.

That was before he saved your ungrateful heathen ass!'

'Uh huh, so it was Jashin. Right, well, that explains everything.' Kakuzu would have gone on, but with a barometer to Hidan's mood in his chest, he decided against it. He didn't want to get Hidan over-excited when he was already in quite a state. They passed through a breach in Konoha's surrounding wall, and Hidan's heart-rate began to slow a little, only to speed right up again at the sight of the trees.

'Let's get on the the road, man, I don't ever want to see that forest again,' he said uncomfortably.

'Have you always had a heart condition like this, Hidan?' Kakuzu asked musingly, catching his companion's arm as he stumbled slightly, and steering him towards the path that led to the main road. 'It can't be comfortable for you...'

'Of course it isn't fucking comfortable,' cried Hidan in an aggrieved tone. 'I expect a deeply religious heart like mine doesn't like being stuck in your fucking infidel body, wanker.'

'Alright, alright,' Kakuzu soothed. 'We'll get it back where it belongs as soon as we find somewhere we won't be disturbed.'

Hidan forgot his indignation in order to smirk childishly at Kakuzu's choice of words. Kakuzu turned away and sighed, but couldn't help smiling slightly himself. He wished he had his normal headgear with its face covering. He didn't like Hidan to see how often he made him smile. There was just something so endearing about how easy he was to rile, and his ready stock of profanities and unusual terms of abuse.

'So, tell me what happened,' he said, after they seemed a safe distance from Konoha's main gate. 'Did they take you to Konoha alive? Did you escape in all that mess?'

Hidan choked with renewed fury at the question. 'No, they didn't fucking take me to Konoha! They fucking blew me to pieces and buried me alive at the bottom of a fucking hole in their fucking shithole of a forest. I ought to curse the damn lot of them. And their freaky rat-arsed evil reindeer that they thought would be enough to keep me down there!'

Kakuzu was quite shocked at the obvious depth of Hidan's feeling. And he surprised himself by feeling rather indignant on his companion's behalf. Live burial - well, that was just not nice. He didn't like to think of Hidan buried in pieces, probably panicking, obviously in a lot of pain, not knowing whether his immortality was going to come to his aid or trap him in this hell for ever. And, reindeer?

'They were probably roe deer,' he said calmly.

'Whatever. They ran off when the shit hit the fan in Konoha, anyway.' snarled Hidan, warming to his theme. 'But what really got me was how fucking vengeful that kid was. You know, while you were in that fucking evil-smelling exchange, that lot jumped me and stabbed me without a fucking word? Four against one, no warning, no fucking 'Oh hello, who are you, what brings you to this Godforsaken exchange point?' I was acting in self defence, the fucker fucking cut my fucking head off! What does he fucking expect?!!'

'I know, I know,' Kakuzu tried to calm Hidan, who really seemed dangerously agitated, 'They were well out of order, and this whole experience has knocked us both for six. We'll take some time out and then go back and finish what we started. But just for now, you need to take it easy, alright?'

'OK.' Hidan said, a little subdued now, and worn out by his own tirade. He leant heavily on Kakuzu. He was just so tired.

They were now a few miles from Konoha, and Kakuzu could see Hidan was on his last legs. And no wonder, given what he'd been through. He must have tested his immortality to the limits, even before tearing his own heart out for Kakuzu's sake. Kakuzu pulled Hidan's arm over his shoulders and put a steadying arm around his waist, then turned off the road and struck out across the fields, making for a deserted looking outbuilding he could just make out in the dimness. A wind was picking up, and the first heavy drops of rain began to fall.

As soon as they were inside the rain began to come down in earnest. Kakuzu laid Hidan down on the straw covered floor and hung a small hurricane lamp he'd picked up in Konoha from one of the ceiling beams. Hidan propped himself up on one elbow and watched apprehensively as Kakuzu knelt beside him undid the top of his cloak, sending out a thread to undo the stitches he'd put in earlier.

'This is going to suck, isn't it?' he said nervously, craning his head forward to look.

'Lie down,' said Kakuzu sternly, 'Yes, it may not be one of your most comfortable experiences, but it'll be over soon. If you behave,' he added as Hidan glared at him, and Hidan flopped sulkily onto his back, gazing with a martyred expression at the shadows the lamp was throwing on the ceiling.

He winced theatrically as Kakuzu picked out the stitches. 'Can't you be a bit gentler, Kakuzu? I gave you my heart, for fuck's sake, aren't you grateful?'

'Yes, I'm very grateful, Hidan, now stop talking so I can concentrate.' Actually, Kakuzu had never had much trouble zoning out Hidan's ceaseless chatter, in fact, he found it rather calming just now, combined with the rapid patter of rain outside. He inserted a row of threads into Hidan's wound and eased it open.

'Arghh,' Hidan yelled and surged upwards. Kakuzu sent out a few more threads which snaked around his wrists and pulled him unceremoniously back down. Hidan gritted his teeth and snarled at Kakuzu, who, after a moment's thought sent a swathe of threads to wrap several times around his mouth and pull his head back down too. Then he found he really had to kneel straddled across Hidan, in order to keep his lower half still, and to get a better angle for his work. Hidan wriggled, possibly in protest - Kakuzu ignored it.

He peered into the wound, which was gently frothing blood. 'Tch,' he said, 'you should really be more careful with yourself, Hidan.' He divided one thread into finer sections and sewed up some internal damage Hidan had made. He'd obviously done this in quite a frenzy. Then, slowly, carefully, he sent his other arm's fibres into himself and, careful to control his breathing and keep the other hearts beating constantly, drew out Hidan's heart.

He laid it in place, and almost immediately it began to quest for its connecting blood vessels. Kakuzu guided it delicately, first sewing up the arteries with his special fine stitching, then the veins. He then proceeded to stitch Hidan back up in layers, making sure everything was nicely aligned. Finally, after sitting back to admire his handiwork for a moment, he released Hidan's head, which shot up and glared at him accusingly. He didn't release his arms yet, rather enjoying the sight of his half-naked partner underneath him, pinned at the wrists. He looked so cute and vulnerable, all flushed and ruffled - Kakuzu didn't often get to see him that way.

'Now, no violent movement, or you'll open that up again. Hm?' said Kakuzu. Hidan nodded in grudging agreement, not meeting his eyes, and Kakuzu released his wrists, one at a time, and moved off to sit beside him. 'Feeling better?'

Hidan sat up slowly, running one hand over the stitches and doing little experimental stretches of his shoulders and upper body. 'I guess so,' he said. 'Thanks, Kakuzu, you're the man.'

'No problem,' Kakuzu replied. He switched off the lamp and found a place to stretch out on the floor to sleep. He saw Hidan shiver a little, glancing at the gap under the door, and continuing in an offhand tone, indicated the floor beside him, 'You can come over here, if you like, you'll be warmer.'

There was actually nothing Hidan wanted more at that moment than to drop his pounding head back into that comfortable hollow of Kakuzu's shoulder and stay there. So he took his partner at his word, draping the cloak over both of them and wriggling as close as he could get. 'You realise I'm naked under this cloak, don't you?' he murmured softly, relaxing against the warmth of Kakuzu's solid, comforting presence and feeling a strong arm go around him.

'Yes, Hidan, I realise that,' he heard Kakuzu's calm voice reply as he finally drifted into undisturbed sleep.