Stan Marsh Flew Out The Cuckoo's Window
By Shadowgate
…
Last night Stan Marsh got up at midnight and threw on some dark clothes including an Asking Alexandria t-shirt. When he got back at 4AM and turned on the lights he saw a camera on his bed with pictures that were taken. There was a note from his mom that said "I HEARD YOU, MOM!"
He said "oh no" out loud and then he saw the room of his door open. His mom and dad were there.
Stan said "I'm guilty as charged mom and dad ha ha Goddamn it!"
Sharon said "I'll say Goddamn it alright Mister. We'll be dealing with you in the morning now get your ass back in bed and don't get up until 8AM. You'll have your shower and breakfast and then at 9 you'll sit in the living room so we can deal with you."
Randy said "living room 9 AM sharp don't you fight or resist or you'll really be fucked let me tell you buddy boy."
Stan said "yes dad I'll cooperate fully."
Randy said "you better."
That morning after Stan had his shower, brushed teeth, and ate breakfast he marched into the living room at 8:45. He said "mom 15 minutes to go I'm ready."
Sharon said "good just stay there for the 15 minutes and we'll be there."
Five minutes later the doorbell is heard. Randy opens the door and see Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny.
Randy says "Stan's in trouble and he will likely be grounded a while so you all need to take off. Sorry but he can't play."
Kyle said "oh no what did he do?
Randy said "he can tell you later at school."
Sharon then changed her mind and said "wait let's have Stan's friends stay just to watch his punishment."
Randy laughed and Stan just groaned.
Sharon said "it's a good idea. Stan's friends should stay. We can embarrass Stan in front of his friends to teach him a lesson."
Stan said "oh yeah well having friends for support we'll help me at least."
Kyle, Kenny and Cartman walked into Stan's living room and Kyle said "I'm your best friend forever but your parents look pissed. Chances are you won't get sympathy from me."
Cartman and Kenny said "whoa!"
Stan said "oh gee thanks Kyle."
Sharon said "well Stan looks like you'll get public humiliation for what you did and I'm happy with that."
Kyle asked "what did you do Stan?"
Sharon said "All off you three sit down with Stan silently and we'll told you what he did. Stan you stay on total silence at all time because you're in trouble."
When Stan watched his friends sit down, Cartman in a chair, and Kenny and Kyle beside him on the couch he knew this would not be a fun memory with friends.
Sharon said "alright boys last night Stan snuck out his window. He want to go have fun in the night. Here's the deal Stan. You're a minor under 18 and you can't be out late at night without parents. Furthermore you put your safety in danger. There are maniacs that kidnap children in the middle of the night and they rape them and kill them.
Stan said "that happens to teenage girls."
Randy said "there are gay male pedophiles to Stan."
Stan said "oh that's right hey remember when Cartman brought them over? That NAMBLA group?"
Kyle said "yeah Stan and members of that group don't just hunt together. They hunt alone."
Stan said "oh good point Kyle."
Cartman yelled out "hey I had no idea those fags were going to try and rape us."
Kyle said "well relax Cartman that's over with and you made your public apology."
Cartman said "yes" and then he giggled and said "you know how on teen court when the kids have to write apology letters or make public apologies in court. Oh it's funny."
Kyle said "what's funny about it? It's embarrassing and just because it's an alternative sentencing court to juvenile hall doesn't mean it's going to result in easy punishment. The teen jury decides on community service and makes them apologize. It's for first time offenders."
Randy said "yes I've seen the reports myself. I'd sure hate to be one those kids."
Cartman said "yeah Mister Marsh it sure would suck if a kid had a jury of his peers and they told him he had to publicly apologize to his parents. That would be so humiliating for him."
Stan starts shaking and giggling nervously and then he says "shut up Cartman."
Soon after Stan notices Kyle and Kenny with their arms folded and their eyebrows wide up.
Sharon said "gee Stan it looks like a jury of your friend's just handed down a verdict. How about that!"
Stan said "yes how about that" and then he smirks at his friends.
Randy said "your mother and I are waiting."
Stan gets choked up and says "mom, dad I made a foolish choice to sneak out last night without your permission. It was without a doubt the wrong thing to do. I know I'm going to be grounded for at least a month."
Sharon said "you got a month to serve alright that's for Goddamn sure."
Kyle said "better one month than eternally dead in a ditch because a pervert got you."
Cartman said "what if when you snuck out your window you landed in a pile of cow crap?"
Stan said "there are no cows in my backyard fat ass."
Kenny said "what if your parents decided to have you arrested for breaking curfew and held you in juvenile hall for a day or two to teach you a lesson?"
Stan said "oh Kenny don't give them any ideas I'll just deal with having you guys as the alternative sentencing to juvenile hall. You guys voted that I should apologize and I will say you guys were right."
Kyle said "hey Stan remember Thanksgiving when you snuck out? You showed up late and then we found out you didn't have permission to come with us? We had to run from the police and your mom arrived back at Cartman's house soon after. That was funny when she yelled through the bullhorn 'Stan this is your mother. I've had it."
Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman all started laughing.
Stan said "damn it Kyle I'd expect Cartman to be ripping on me like this over you."
Cartman said "oh okay Stan I'll start ripping on you."
Stan said "it's not funny Cartman."
Kyle then asked Stan "did you think it was funny to sneak out over night?"
Stan answered "no Kyle it wasn't funny. I have to admit I really messed up."
Tears started rolling down Stan's face and Stan said "while one best friend loves humiliation it's an honor to have two best friends who believe in justice and will tell you when you owe your mother an apology."
Stan hugs Kyle.
Sharon was moved by what her son had just said and felt warmth inside as she watched him hug his super best friend Kyle.
Kyle said "hey your best friend is here to lend support."
Stan replied "maybe after I'm done being grounded you and I can listen to Motley Crue and have a great time but until then I do need your support."
Stan wiped a tear off his face and they both hugged again.
Kyle said "hey Stan before I leave I just want to say hang in there."
Stan replied "I will Kyle."
All of a sudden Stan felt a swat on his ass.
Stan yelled "KYLE!"
Everyone laughed and Stan was embarrassed.
THE END