Julia walked slowly into the living room. Her joints screamed at her to stop. At 83, she was no longer the young, energetic woman who could dance and sing for a crowd of thousands as she used to in the band. Now, it was a good day if she could make it through with only one nap. She was about to sit in her favorite chair by the window to read a book, when her eye landed on the piano. There was nothing different about it, yet Julia felt drawn to it. She sat at the wooden bench and stroked the keys with her fingers. Donny had tried to teach her how to play many years ago, but she never could quite get the hang of it and soon the chaos of life had take over and she was left with no time. Now she wished she had tried harder, she missed the sound of it. Donny had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's six years ago; three years ago he had forgotten how to play piano. Since then, the piano hadn't been touched execpt for the occassional dusting. Her eye landed on the framed photographs resting on the top. The first a picture of their wedding, Donny in his tux had his arm around her ...
Her dress was white and shorter than what was fashionable. Julia stood before the full length mirror as her mother adjusted her veil. A boquet of white flowers was in her hands; her fingers gripped them tightly.
"Am I doing the right thing? Is this too soon, Ma? I feel like I'm betraying Michael," Julia whispered, scared to reveal the whirlwind that was her mind.
"Julia!" her mother scolded. "You and Donny have been together for four years now, Michael has been dead for seven. You can't waste your life pinning after a love that will never come back. That love will always be a part of you, but it should not define you. Do you love Donny?"
"Of course," Julia answered right away.
"Does Donny love you?"
"Yes."
"Does he make you happy?"
"Always," Julia smiled remebering the thrill of their first date, first kiss, and all the times they've sang together.
"Would Michael want you to be happy?"
Julia stayed silent for a moment, "yes" she replied quietly.
"Then go out there and marry Donny." June kissed Julia's cheek and pulled the veil over her face. Julia's father was not present at the wedding, so June was going to walk her down the aisle instead. Despite all her mother had said, Julia's thoughts were still running around her mind, making her question everything. Then, the doors to the church opened and Julia saw Donny. His eyes lit up and the sight of her and filled with love. All uncertainty left her mind. She loved Donny Novitski and was going to spend the rest of her life with him.
Julia picked up the next picture. This one pictured the band the night of their last concert. She and Donny were singing "Nobody" for the last time. Davy had his eyes closed as he strummed tha bass. Johnny had a half grin on his face at the steady rhythm he was playing. Nick pouring himself into a solo, but he stayed in line with the rest of the guys. Wayne looked at peace with the saxophone in his hands. Jimmy didn't have to play at that particular spot and was watching the rest of the band with pride...
It was the last set the band was going to play together. It made them all sad, but they pretended it was just a regular day. As the last notes of "Nobody" rang throught he auditorium, the applause from the audience started. The band triumphantly bowed one last time, then headed back to the room behind the stage where they had warmed up.
"Well, that was perfect," Donny said with a sad sigh.
"Yeah." For once, Davy didn't have a joke.
Julia tried to lighten the mood, "we'll still meet on the weekends to play sometimes." Still, it felt like the end of an era was ending. Six years they had been together; it seemed hard to believe there would be no more tours for the Donny Nova Band, just cafes every so often on Saturdays.
"One last drink?" Davy offered. The rest of the band nodded. Davy poured the drinks out from a bottle he kept on his bag, then took the one with the least in it. Julia looked at him in question, usually he took the fullest one.
"I'm trying. Can't have a drunk man working at the VA. I don't know if I'll ever be able to stop completely because the noise in my head won't stop, but I'm trying. " Davy had gotten a job doing odd jobs around the local VA hospital, his ability to cheer people up at even the worst of times made up for his relative inexperience. The band drank and joked about years gone by for an hour when Wayne spoke up.
"I got to get home. I promised my wife I would be back before 11." The band became silent, not wanting to ask the question on their minds. Wayne answered it for them, "we're giving it a try again."
"Good luck," Julia wished him.
"There goes my clean house," Nick snorted. They laughed and wished Wayne a good night.
"I've got to go too," Jimmy said. "My sister's husband said that he might be able to get me a job at the bank if I was there at 8 tomorrow. You know, since I'm good with numbers."
"Good for you!" Jimmy congratualed him. After he left, Davy, Julia, Donny, Nick, and Jimmy sat in silene. No one really knowing if they should keep talking or leave.
Jimmy broke the silence. "How the audition go for that orchestra, Nick?"
Nick smiled, "I'm in! First trumpet, too." After they congratulated him, Nicked asked, "how's your firm coming along?"
"Well," Jimmy replied. "Actually, I got one of my friend from law school to partner with me, so all we need is to find an office and we're in business."
"Well, I'll be sure to call you next time I get taken in for loitering in a bar," Davy assured him. Soon, they all left and Donny and Julia walked home together.
"You didn't tell them about the baby," Donny accused jokingly.
"I wanted to keep the news to ourselves another week. Besides, you didn't tell them about your new job, Mr. Band Director for Cleveland High School." They laughed and walked in silence.
Finally Julia said, "they are all happy. You did well with this band, Donny." He smiled at her, unable to get the words out through tears. The band that had meant so much to him was ending. Julia squeezed his hand and he knew with her at his side the future would hold just as much joy.
Julia's gaze fell on the next picture. Her mother had taken it. Their six year old daughter sat on Donny's lap, placing her fingers over Donny's as if to play the piano with him. Julia was singing along, holding their 4 month old son.
"Teach me how to play!" Ella demanded with a smile on her face. Donny turned away from the piano to look at her.
"What's the magic word?"
"Pleeeeeeasee?" his daughter begged him.
"Alright." Donny picked up Ella and sat her on his lap. "Put your hands on mine. Now, this key is a C..." Donny and Ella sat there together playing simple melodies for about twenty minutes when Julia noticed. Usually, Donny played complicated songs, but today, the only sounds coming from the living room were very easy tunes. She pointed this out to her mother who had come over for a cup of coffee.
"I wonder if he is teaching Ella how to play," she replied. Julia picked up baby Michael from where he had been sitting on the floor.
"Come on, let's go see if your sister is as talented as your father yet," she whispered touching his nose to hers. As Julia entered the room, she was met by a sight that warmed her heart. Donny was indeed teaching their daughter to play piano, carefully guiding her fingers to the right notes. Neither Donny nor Julia had had a dad they could look up to and she was so glad her daughter would have one. Julia listened for a minute, until Donny began teaching Ella the first few notes of "First Steps First".
"Pardon my brashness dear," she sang. Donny and Ella both turned around, stopping the music. Donny smiled.
"Listen, mama! I can play piano!" Ella exclaimed. Then, she began pressing on Donny's hands to make the keys play a very slow version of "First Steps First". Julia began to sing along again.
"Seeing you standing here." Donny came in too. Baby Michael began to coo and gurgle along with the music. The family laughed then kept singing and playing the piano. June, who was watching from the doorway, left then returned a moment later with a camera. She snapped a picture of the domestic scene in front of her and smiled. She had watched as her daughter was shattered by Michael's death and she had witnessed Donny's guilt and fear. Now, she observed as the same two people shared a moment of perfect bliss.
Julia picked up the last picture frame. It contained two pictures, the first of a young man in an army uniform...
June 25, 1953 was a monumental day. Donny had slept through the with no nightmares. There was no war to taint his dreams that night. No Michael getting blown up. No soul crushing guilt that he had married Julia. Julia. He rolled over in the bed and saw her still asleep. He leaned down and gently kissed her on the lips. Her eyes fluttered awake and she smiled.
"Good morning, beautiful," he whispered against her lips, grinning.
"Well, good morning," she smiled. "Why are you so happy?"
"I slept through the night." Such an easy thing, yet so hard for him. She immediately hugged him tightly. They stayed like that for awhile.
Finally, Julia whispered against his neck, "you'd better start catching up on sleep now because in nine months it might be harder for you-"
"What?" Donny pulled back to see her face. "You're-"
"I found out yesterday." They smiled to each other, each picturing a little boy or girl looking exactly like the other that could play the piano and sing like an angel. Then, they hugged each other again.
Donny looked at Julia in his arms. He and his wife were going to have a baby. His wife. It had taken him so long to stop thinking of her as Michael's wife. Michael would always be a part of his past, but this was now. Something in him realized then, there would always be nightmares, always be days when the war was in his head, but he would manage it. Julia and the band would always be there for him and now this child, who he already felt such unconditional love for, was coming into his life. Things weren't perfect, but for the first time in awhile, Donny felt at peace.
Julia felt so safe in Donny's arms. She hadn't told him last night because she felt guilty. Michael had been dead for years now, but she always imagined having his children, not Donny's. Sometime around midnight though, with Donny's peaceful, slumbering form next to her she realized he was her husband and she loved him. Yes, she still missed Michael, but Donny was now. Donny was the father of her child and the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. Julia knew Michael would want her to be happy and Donny and this child made her so happy. With that thought, she vowed to always remember Michael, but to move on and live now.
Awhile later, Donny kissed the top of her head. "Time to get up." They both relcutantly pulled out of each others arms and rolled out of bed. Smiling at each other one last time, they opened the door and stepped out, ready to face the day with the other at their side.
The other photograph in the frame was of her mother taken a month before her death...
"It won't be long now," the nurse told Julia. She felt Donny squeeze her hand. Julia closed her eyes, holding in the tears, then let a deep breathe out and opened them.
"May I see her?"
"Of course."
"Do you want me to come with you?" Donny asked gently.
"No, I'll be fine." Julia walked down the hallway into her mother's hospital room. Her heels clacking way too loud on the wood floor. Her mother lay on a bed with white sheets. A pillow propped her head up as she slept. On the right of her, Oliver held her hand. Her mother had finally gotten remarried after years of waiting on her faithless husband. Oliver had brought her joy and had become a grandfather to Julia's kids.
"How is she?" Julia asked.
Oliver raised his head up. "It's only a matter of time." Julia pulled up a chair on the other side of the bed.
"I love you, ma," she whispered, grabbing her hand. "The children will miss you. They were the only ones who liked your paprika and devilled eggs. Who's going to make it for them now?" Julia's voice cracked and tears streamed down her face. June's eyes opened for a minute. The doctors said the last stroke had taken away her ability to speak, but her eyes said it all. I love you, they said. I love Donny and Ella and Michael and I will miss you so much.
One last raspy breathe came from her body and them it was silent. A nurse came in and checked June's pulse.
"She's gone."
Julia started sobbing. She felt an arm around her, pulling her near. Donny. He pulled her close and let her cry into his chest until she had no more tears left.
The funeral and the wake exhausted her. The grief she felt and the stress of it all seemed to want to drown her, but she got through it. Donny helped her arrange everything and comforted her when she felt sad. He was grieving as well. June was the closest thing he had to a mother figure in years. But they got through it because they were together.
She looked at the pictures now. A few of the happy moments in their lives and a few of the sad. All the music and love that had made them both happy, contained in these few photographs on the piano. The band, their children, her mother, Michael, Donny, the laughter, the pain, the music... The sound of the piano playing broke her out of her trance. Without her noticing, Donny had come sit next to her on the bench. Julia gasped. Donny hadn't played in years. He had forgotten so much, even forgotten her some days. She blinked again, convinced that she was dreaming, but Donny was still there.
"Pardon my brashness dear," he sang. "Seeing you standing here, dancing's more customary for a soiree."
She began singing then as Donny continued playing, "Isn't the band sublime and as it happens I'm just in the mood to do a two step."
"Do step out on the floor with me I'm knew here too you see, might you be charmingly coerced?" They sang together. Donny's lack of practice made the piano part shaky and out of tune. Julia's clear tone had been taken by age. But to them, it was the most beautiful music in the world.
Julia laid her head on Donny's shoulder as they sang the last lines together, "But, I have a feeling I'd steady you if you tried soon you'll be dancing through rehearsed steps first steps first bah ba do 'n dah da first steps first first steps first." The last notes rang through the house and then it was silent.
The next day, the nurse who was supposed to check in on them walked through the door. "Julia?" she called. Hearing no answer, she became concerned and walked into the kitchen. "Julia? Donny?" Still no reply. Then, she walked into the living room.
There were Donny and Julia, sitting dead at the piano, heads leaning together, with the most peaceful expressions on their faces the nurse had ever seen.