Splintered Dreams

"Nightmares and Preparations"

Chapter 20

Her dreams were made of fire and filled with guileless blue.

Smoke and screams rang through smoky shadows and wrenching grief burned her lungs until it seared her soul. Heat gripped her with smoldering hands, squeezing and wringing her heart out like a dishrag.

The sky burned unnatural orange and blossoms of fire bloomed across rooftops and along her path.

She knew this path; knew it by heart. She had walked it countless times, for countless reasons, but now, her feet pounded against ground that bled and soft puffs of air erupted from her lungs like the muted growls of a wounded animal as she raced to confront a madman.

When her shaking hands found the still warm body of her father, she took the handle of the murderous blade buried in his chest.

Her vision blurred, reason clouded, and vengeance sang in her blood.

She found Him at the top of a never ending staircase facing away from her, his long, silver hair swaying down his back.

Sephiroth.

She rushed towards him and the soft growls in her throat suddenly became wet gasps.

Green eyes mocked her and a smile turned her stomach.

"Pitiful."

He kissed her with pain.

A silver lick against frail skin. And then she was falling. Hard and broken she landed on the floor.

Tears streaked her face like bitter rain, and they tasted of failure. ~Somebody, please help me...I couldn't stop him. I don't want to die. Please, help me...~

Footsteps. Hurried. Echoing.

Hands. Strong. Sure. Safe.

"Tifa." Why was he so far away?"Sephiroth did this didn't he?"

She had no voice, only echoing screams trapped in crimson, staining cold metal. She held out her hands to him, a plea, an accusation...both, neither. It was hard to know.

~SOLDIER. Shin-Ra. You. I hate it all.~

"I won't ask you to forgive me..."

~Don't go. Wait, I'm sorry. This wasn't your fault. None of this was your fault.~

"Just let me make it right..."

~Wait. Don't go...Don't leave me here...Please...Don't leave me...~

He was leaving her. Leaving her...

Cold.

She was so cold.

Wasn't someone supposed to be coming for her?

Everything was so cold, and yet she was burning... How was that possible? It was so hard to think.

A brush of fingers against her cheek. Soft. Gentle. Reverent.

"Sorry I'm late..."

Rich velvet. Soft and pure. She knew that voice.

Open your eyes... see...

Blue.

Beautiful blue.

Soothing the burn. Easing the pain.

~Cloud~

"...Tifa..."

~You came for me..~ Love. So much love.

"...Tifa..."

~You kept your promise.~ Gold hair, blue eyes and tenderness. Cloud. Her Cloud. And he had come home. To her. He was there and she was in his arms and she could fade away, and it would be okay, because he was there with his so blue eyes...and she loved him so, so much...

~ I missed your eyes.~ She reached for him but he slipped through her fingers like sand. The harder she tried to hold him, the finer the grains became.

A voice shattered her like glass.

"Cloud, finish Sephiroth!"

Laughter. Mocking, sick laughter, and swirling green hatred.

And her Cloud was no longer soft, filtered sand, but hard steel, with his so blue eyes swirling vengeance.

~Wait, Cloud. No.~

Gone were his arms. Cold. She was wrapped in cold again.

"Sephiroth!"

Swords clashed, a scream, a gurgle...

She couldn't see. Blood and sweat and tears and fear...blinding. Blind. She was blind.

Where was he?

Cloud?

~Cloud, come back to me! Please...please...~

The room swayed, blood flowed, a body fell across the metal stairs and the screams of her heart erupted from her mouth, "No! Cloud, no! Stay with me. Stay with me! Staywithme! Stay—!"

"Tifa, wake up!"

Screams and crimson tears bled over into the waking world on choked breath. Shaking, Tifa shoved up in the bed and pressed her hands to her eyes, staunching the dampness already forming. Her breath came out in a long jerky whoosh. Cloud...

"You're okay." Someone held her shoulders, steadied her. That voice. She knew that voice. She latched onto that voice, used it to tether her and pull her from the quicksand fear of her nightmare. Zack. She groped blindly, gripped his arms like an anchor.

Warm hands cradled her face. "You're okay."

Was she? She heard her breath, coming too fast, in quick pants that hitched and clogged in her throat. Scream and sob tumbled against one another, both begging to be released, but she grit her teeth and swallowed them back. She blinked her eyes, opened them cautiously, and found that no one else was in the room with them, which she was unbelievably thankful for. She wasn't sure she could handle the humiliation or the sympathetic looks right now.

The remembered taste of blood still coated her throat and it took her a second before she could properly respond to him. "Yeah, I'm okay," She answered finally. Leaning back, she took in swirling blue and a worried frown. Nice blue, she thought, but not the same...

Zack stroked her cheek, wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. "You sure?"

She closed her eyes, took another shuddering breath. "Really, Zack, I'm okay." She shivered, still chilled from her dream, but also from his close proximity. How easy it would be to lean forward and take shelter in those strong arms, to seek comfort and solace in his embrace... "Where is everyone?" she asked, resisting the temptation. Things were complicated enough between them, she didn't need to make it worse by relying on him to make her feel better. She was a big girl...she could take care of herself.

"I left Barret and Red at the weapon shop," he replied, searching her face, "and Aerith is downstairs chatting with the innkeeper. She's hoping maybe he's seen or heard something that could give us a direction."

"Oh." Tifa frowned. It seemed everyone was being useful but her. A look out the side window revealed inky black sky and shop lights. How long had she been out? She wiped her hand down her face, trying to erase the last remnants of the nightmare.

Lightly, hesitantly, Zack brushed her bangs back from her eyes. "You needed the sleep." He answered her unspoken question. "I'd hoped it'd be more restful than it was, apparently."

She was grateful he hadn't asked about the nightmare, although she suspected that he—more than anyone—knew what it had entailed. "You don't need to baby me, Zack," she murmured tightly, still fighting the lingering vulnerability left in the wake of her dream.

"I'm not. You needed the rest. I need you in top shape if we're going after Sephiroth." He stood, tossed her a small package. "Here."

Curious, Tifa opened the brown paper, and pulled out padded red leather. New gloves. Nice gloves, she realized, taking them all the way out of the paper. Nylon mesh and spandex stretched beneath well stitched leather. A series of rounded, steel nubs crossed the padding above the knuckles and at the elbows. These would do some damage.

She glanced up at Zack through the veil of her lashes and found his face uncharacteristically stoic. He was hurting, she realized, startled by that revelation. He was trying to hide it, but she saw it in the violet hues of his eyes and the straight slash of his mouth.

He was hurting and it was her fault.

"Zack, I..." What to say? What could she say? Having nothing, she shook her head, and murmured a soft, "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," he told her in a voice she didn't know. "We're eating in twenty." From the door he added, "I'll meet you in the lobby."

And for some reason, when the latch clicked shut behind him, Tifa felt like crying.

"Don't leave me..."

In the hall, Zack closed his eyes and let his head drop back against the wall as he took a deep breath. The words had been small and plaintive and so full of desolation that he'd stood frozen in the shadows of the room, his own heart torn to shreds as Tifa tossed and turned on the bed.

He hadn't planned on waking her, had only slipped into the room in order to drop off the gloves, but he couldn't listen to her crying out for Cloud; couldn't let her drown in the sorrow of her dreams. It broke his heart. In more ways than he wanted to acknowledge.

"Damn it," he muttered and shoveled his hands into his hair. Why couldn't things be simple? He'd known—before he'd even met her—that she was the kind of woman that lingered in a man's heart and mind. Cloud's commitment to her was evidence of that, but Zack had his own memories of her.

He recalled laughing with her outside the Nibleheim Inn, tugging her cowboy hat down over her eyes. He remembered thinking that she was full of odd questions and too-blunt inquiries. He remembered thinking she was too head-strong and too young to be a guide. And, if he was honest, he remembered looking...but not touching, because he had a girl waiting for him... and Tifa had been someone else's.

Zack sighed. So much had changed for him since then—for all of them—and he couldn't have predicted the way fate would intertwine them together again. Or the way that Tifa would make him feel. She tangled up his senses, filled him up with so much emotion that he sometimes felt heavy enough to sink.

She was a fighter, and a friend, and a woman worth caring for...Tifa was his to protect now. He'd taken that responsibility from Cloud readily. It was his promise to his friend. What he hadn't counted on was falling in love with her. And he was falling in love with her.

Zack was many things, but self-delusional wasn't one of them. He'd had his share of flings and careless romances as a rising SOLDIER, and had found genuine love with a bashful flower girl from the slums. He knew the difference between lust and love and though he definitely—definitely—had the former for Tifa, it was the latter that was currently causing him to bang his head against the wall. Literally.

If he was any kind of friend, he would find a way to walk away, or at the very least step back. The best thing he could do for her was to give her space. She didn't need this. He knew that, but he couldn't any more stop the way he felt about her than he could stop the sun from rising.

Damn it, Cloud. What were you thinking? Zack thumped his head back a couple more times.

The door to his left opened abruptly and a bear of a man with a full red beard and tired eyes poked his head around the door jamb. After surveying both directions, he turned to Zack. "You lost?"

Zack raised a brow, shook his head. "No."

The other man scowled, deep grooves forming over the bridge of his freckled nose."Then why are you knocking on my door? You some sort of prankster?"

"Oh." Zack rubbed the back of his neck, one shoulder raising in sheepish embarrassment. "No. Sorry about that. I wasn't. I was just sort of...uh, banging my head."

"Ah," the other man nodded, scratched his hand over faded flannel. "Girl troubles?"

Zack's lips twisted. "That obvious?"

"When a man is standing 'round, banging his head on a wall, it's almost always because of a woman."

Before Zack could reply to that worldly proclamation, Tifa chose that particular moment to step out of their room and into the hall.

Zack had to school his features to keep from grinning at the way the man straightened and puffed out his chest. Not that his reaction was anything new. Men fell all over themselves for Tifa. Zack had witnessed more than one drunken fool since he'd joined AVALANCHE, and plenty of sober ones too.

Even in clothes three sizes too large, that hung off of her in awkward angles, she was damn adorable. Zack could only imagine red-beard's reaction had she been sporting her place-mat skirt and tight tank-top.

Tifa offered up a small smile to the man in the hall. "Hello, sir."

"Uhhh..." The man swallowed, nodded.

She looked toward Zack, but her eyes never quite met his. "Meet you downstairs?"

"Yeah," Zack nodded.

"Okay." She inclined her head toward both men before she made her way along the hall.

They watched her until she disappeared down the stairs and when Zack returned his gaze to his bearded hall-mate, he found the other man's eyes wide and almost accusatory.

"If I had women troubles like that," he jerked his thumb in the direction Tifa had gone. "I sure as shit wouldn't be wasting my time banging my head on the wall; I'd be too busy banging--"

"Ok, then, nice talk." Zack interrupted, and shot him a warning look as he passed.

Halfway down the stairs he heard, "Whatever you did, just apologize! Damn!"

Zack shook his head as much at himself as at the man in the hall. He could just imagine that scene now: Hey, Tifa, sorry I left you to die a bloody death on a reactor floor, while failing to fight off the madman that ultimately destroyed your life. Oh, and incidentally, sorry I couldn't save the love of your life from a gruesome death, but hey, I'm here, so whaddya say, babe? Yeah. He didn't imagine that'd go over all that well.

There was no apology for what he'd done; for what he couldn't undo; or for what he felt now. He'd have to live with that, and hope that she could too.

The dining area was small, but clean, with lanterns on tables and soft music filtering through speakers in the corners. The table was hand carved, as were the seats, and Zack appreciated the hard work that must have gone into making them. His father had made almost all of their furniture and had taught Zack how to fashion several pieces.

Over plates of warm food, the group discussed what they had gathered for information, and though it wasn't much, they found that they at least had a starting point.

Around a mouthful of buttered beans, Barret informed them,"Guy at the weapon shop says a man in a cloak with a bad-ass sword went through town not too long ago. Headed east. You gonna eat that?"

"Help yourself." Tifa lifted her hands away from her plate, allowing Barret access to her dinner roll. "Did your weapon shop guy offer anything else? Like a destination?"

Barret shrugged, chewed. "Nope."

"Sephiroth's not exactly the approachable sort," Zack added, finishing his drink. "But at least we have a direction. What about you?" He faced Aerith. "The innkeeper have anything to add?"

Aerith lowered her fork, dabbed the corner of her mouth. "Unless knowing exactly how many miners were on site during the great mine explosion some sixty years ago will help us, I'm afraid that even though Mr. Roemer was full of delightful stories, none of them do us any good."

"How many?" Barret speared another carrot.

"I'm sorry?"

"How many miners?" he repeated.

"Oh." Aerith paused, thought back. "Fourteen. All survived, and only one injury," she recited.

Barret nodded, resumed eating.

At Aerith's questioning look, Tifa supplied, "Barret was a miner. In North Corel."

"Long time ago," he gruffed, staring at his plate. "Not that it matters none, now." He smacked his hand onto the table, jumping everyone. "So what's the plan? We gonna go after this guy or what?"

"Having a direction is a start, but it is a far cry from a plan," Red's voice—calm and carefully enunciated as always—drifted up from his crouch beneath the table. "But whatever the case, we should strongly consider leaving this town soon." He nosed the plate at his paws, chuffed and turned his head away. "While in town I heard people talking about the attacks in Midgar, Rufus and AVALANCHE. It will not take much deduction to figure out we are a part of that."

"Agreed," Zack straightened in his chair, pushed his dinnerware aside and laid out a brief plan. "Staying anywhere too long makes us vulnerable. It'll be better if we avoid too many stops and too many people. I picked up some traveling gear—tents, lanterns, basic supplies—earlier. Not much, but enough to get us to where we need to go."

"And where's that?" Tifa asked, poking at her peas absently.

"If Sephiroth is traveling east, then he's heading straight for the marshes. The only safe way across those marshes is a Chocobo. If we're gonna follow, then we need Chocobos."

"You just magically gonna pull one outta your ass?" Barret arched a brow.

Zack's lip slanted up. "As neat of a trick as that might be, no. I know a place where we can get some, though. It's a hike from here, but we should make it there by sundown tomorrow."

"We need to get some damn clothes that fit," Barret added, plucking at the light green material of his shirt. "I ain't going anywhere like this."

"There's a little shop across the street," Aerith suggested.

Zack nodded. "Ok, good. We'll go there after dinner. Anything else?"

"Yeah. Teef, you gonna eat all that?"

Rolling her eyes, Tifa pushed her bowl toward Barret. "Just take it."

"Thanks. Well, then, I guess we have a plan," Barret nudged Red, who snorted.

"If one could call it that."

"Do you have a better one?" Tifa asked. When Red remained sullenly silent, she leaned down, rubbed behind his ear. "I know you're nervous. We'll be okay," she whispered.

When she raised back up, she caught Zack looking at her, and that illusive something whispered between them before she looked away, a hint of pink on her cheeks.

Clearing his throat, Zack continued, "I can't predict how this is going to play out, and I have a feeling that things are going to get a lot rougher from here, so if anyone wants out," blue eyes softened, rested on Aerith, "then now's the time."

Aerith placed her hand over his, shook her head: no. "The Ancients..... Cetra.... Jenova...... Sephiroth and myself..... we're connected, and I need to know how."

"All I know is I ain't letting Sephiroth or Shin-Ra get their grimy hands on the Promised Land," Barret commented. "If they do, then we're all screwed and I just can't let that happen. My baby girl is counting on me."

"I am with you all, until I get home, at least, " Red added.

"This journey means different things for all of us," Tifa said, holding Zack's gaze, "but I know why I'm here, and I'm staying. Until the end."

"Until the end," Zack echoed. He would find and face Sephiroth, and he would make Shin-Ra pay or what they did, and he would keep his promise to Cloud. Until the end.

AN: Hi! So sorry for the wait, work has been crazy and between family weddings and back to school prep, I have had no time. But that's all done now, and the next chapter is already in the works. Chocobo Bill's, here we come! For those of you still with me, Thank you!! So, so , so much for your reviews and words of encouragement. I didn't get a chance to reply to everyone last chapter, and for that I'm sorry, but just please know that I so, so appreciate you and all your help in keeping this story going!

Ok, end ramble. Thanks for reading!! :)