Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII

Warning: mentions of fem!Cloud; possible OOCness; Reno has horrible grammar

Un-Beta'd

Reno stared at the form in front of him, and back to Tseng.

"Uh... is dis a joke?" Reno deadpanned. "'Cause if it is, your sense a' humor sucks."

Tseng met Reno's eyes with a blank look. "No, it isn't a joke, I'm afraid."

"Ehehe... You're still not mad 'bout dat coffee machine thing, right?" Reno slowly started backing away, but to his horror, Tseng took two steps forward for every step Reno took backwards. "Whelp," Reno said, his hand finally touching the door handle, "I'm on vacation-"

"No you're not," Tseng frowned.

Reno ignored him. "-so... good luck wi' dat."

And he bolted.

Tseng followed.

Reno ran as fast as he could, dodging human obstacles on his way to the Vice President's office. Along the way, Tseng had recruited several other Turks into chasing him (the traitors!).

BAM!

"Boss-man!" Reno swiftly turned to slam the door in the other Turks' faces, locking it with a loud click.

"Yes, Reno?" Rufus drawled, not looking up from his paperwork.

"Ya' gotta help me!" Reno cried. "Tseng's tryin' ta' kill me, yo!"

BAM!

Rufus looked up to see Reno's pitiful face. "I'm sure you deserve it," he said unsympathetically.

BAM!

"But I din' do nuthin' this time!" Reno whined. "An' he's gonna doom me for a hundred lives, yo! S'not cool!"

"Oh?" Rufus motioned for the Turk to continue, now interested in his plight.

"Yeah! Cloudy's gonna slaughter me if he has his way! If not her, then Zack or Seph will!"

BOOM!

Reno turned in horror. The door was in smithereens, and there was Tseng and the others, walking in as if they hadn't just bombed the door open.

"My apologies," Tseng said. "I'll have the door replaced."

Rufus just nodded and said to Reno, "That's coming out of your paycheck."

"WHAT?" Reno yelped. "WHY? I ain't da' one who bombed da' door, yo!"

"Yes, that may be true," Rufus said, "but they wouldn't have done it if you hadn't locked the door in the first place."

"Oh, stop being a baby, Reno," Cissnei huffed. "You were the one complaining about not getting any interesting missions."

"An' I said 'interestin',' not suicidal!" Reno snapped.

"There's really no such thing as 'suicide' anymore, now is there?" Cissnei quipped.

"Ya' know what I mean!"

As the two argued, Rufus took the time to read over the assignment Tseng handed to him.

"I see," Rufus frowned.

"Should we ignore it?" Tseng inquired.

"Hmm... No. Hojo's been becoming an even bigger nuisance." He handed the paper back to Tseng. "Do it. What ever happens will rid us of his presence. Either Sephiroth or my dear cousin will handle it," Rufus smirked. "Who knows, maybe Father will take matters into his own hands if he hears of it."

Tseng frowned. "What do you mean?"

Rufus eyed him. "Well... let's just say Father would not take kindly to the idea of his beloved sister's grandchildren being turned into experiments."

Reno pouted. "Dat still don't explain why it's gotta be me, though."

Cissnei whacked him on the head.

Haha! I told y'all I'd be back soon! And here's an update! :D

Gotta say, guys, I love all the prompts I've been getting. I might not be able to write them all, but they're certainly feeding my muse :3

Oh, and that thing about not having time if I do rewrite this fic, I mean that I won't be updating Extras or any of my other stories since I'd only be devoting my time and energy to this fic's rewrite.