( For all of you going through quarantine, it's gonna be okay, we can all get through this together. I know this is a hard time, and I am most definitely not an expert in how to deal with this but if it offers any comfort, all this pain and fear, it's only for a moment. This is just a painful moment, and like all moments it will pass. Nothing stays the same forever, including suffering.)

In which Nico confesses his Monsters

Stepping out of the shadows they arrived in an old abandoned subway station, It was closed off to the public, but a monster could easily be lurking down here. Leo felt unease when he observed the station and it's rats and grime and dirt and rust, and well you get the picture, "How cozy..." he remarked after pulling a small compact lantern from his tool belt.

Nico sighed, "If a monster comes it will be a stress relief to beat the shit out of it."

Leo sat down, "well, what's going on Nico?"

Nico looked at him like he really just didn't want to say, Leo held firm in his stare, and Nico found he couldn't meet his gaze.

"Okay, well, just... you have to promise me something Leo if I tell you everything." Nico said it soft and hesitantly.

"What is it?" Leo inquired.

Nico took in a deep breath, "When I tell you this, you have to promise me you won't think of me any differently, okay? Like I'm just me, I'm still able to take care of myself, I can function fine, and we can just forget about it and move on afterwards. Deal?"

"Nico, Why would I-" Leo started but Nico interrupted, "Just promise!"

Leo conceded and Nico began to hesitantly share.

The scene was set in the Stolls Cabin, that's where it began. Mr. D had managed to piss off the twins so as an act of pettiness they threw a party with lots of intoxicants. It was reckless and honestly uncalled for looking back, but if the Stolls knew one thing, it was how to throw a party.

Will was always happy to have fun with the other campers, but and Nico was less inclined to be around wild crowds. It really just gave him anxiety to be in places he couldn't easily escape. Places that were Loud and crowded, he just wasn't wanting to be there. So Will went without him.

Nico however felt a bit guilty, knowing Will really wanted him to start pushing himself to be more social or whatever it was. These were just kids around his age, he knew all of them somewhat in passing. It took several hours of thought and debate before Nico decided he would drop in.

Arriving at the house, he was surprised that no one had stopped the party already. Nico peeked through the window, 'maybe Will was fine without me and was having a fun time' Nico thought, but seeing Will inside the window in his arms Drew was kissing him. Nico froze, he felt like he could cry. Will pulled back from her and happened to look past Drew, seeing Nico's devastated face.

They made eye contact for a brief moment before Nico ran off. He hated this, he hated this feeling, this pain, he hated how Will of all people could do this. He hated everything about this moment. Nico knew it was a mistake to be here, at camp, around everyone, if he just didn't let people in, let them convince him to let others in, if he never met Will none of the pain he felt now would be happening. If he was alone, none of this would be happening.

That was the spark. From then on, Nico would be alone. He would live and do as he pleased, he would never tie himself to anything or anyone. No further than he already had. He just couldn't handle the pain and he would rather not care then let someone leave him again. He couldn't handle being abandoned again. And with pain in his heart he left, a note for Percy and Hazel with a vague explanation of his leaving and choice to live independently. He simply said he and Will were just not compatible lifestyle wise.

However it seemed Nico had his work cut out for him. Will did everything he could to track Nico. He was desperate to explain, and to an extent he understood that Drew was drunk, she had charm speak and Will was susceptible, under the influence and frankly wasn't interested in her, but Nico was too disturbed that Will found him, his feelings were mixed. Nico just was so hurt that night, so shocked that his feelings had withered. He felt like he should have been happy, Will wanted hims still, he should feel lucky someone wanted him at all, but he just had a bad feeling.

Nico asked for space, but Will wouldn't give it. He became clingy and over bearing and Nico couldn't handle it. He left again, and Will followed, and it would repeat like this. Those mixed feelings turned to fear, as Will always showed up where he was with gifts and poems and songs and anything to win Nico over. Will grew more and more obsessed and Nico grew more and more afraid.

He overheard someone talking about how she saw a horror movie where a man was staking this girl. At first Nico didn't pay attention. They went on though, and Nico started to notice how similar Will had been to the stalker story over the last year. His first reaction was to deny it. Will was after all well liked, and kind but his behavior had grown to be more erratic. His gestures more grandiose and Nico wished he could just leave him alone. It was difficult to accept, especially because he knew Will wasn't a bad person, but Nico was afraid. And that fear had changed his whole life.

Shelter was a struggle, so he turned to work wherever he could get it. It was hard considering he could only work under the table and having technology was risky for being tracked. He found sex work on accident, and well Nico found he actually rather liked it. It was fast, not personal, and paid enough for him to get by. It worked great if he found a Sugar Daddy to pay for everything for him. Sites like that he did just occasionally, it was risky to meet up with stranger after all. He felt good to be desired, and he didn't have to be sexual, but having the liberation of it, the fun of it, he enjoyed that. This wasn't special, it was just a pass time. Nico found his freedom in being used, which had been very ironic. Some clients had been rather kinky, and Nico quickly learned which Kinks he could indulge and which kinks he couldn't.

Nico wasn't planning to stay long in his Apartment, he usually tried to stay in a shady place for only a few months, leave, repeat. That was the cycle and all of this was to just get Will off his back. He was terrified and now for the first time, with Leo Valdez, he wasn't alone.

Leo listened intently, letting Nico only share what he felt comfortable with. He asked questions where needed, but Knowing this is what Nico felt, why he was always such a loner, he just felt his body moved closer to Nico. Nico looked nervous for a moment, but he moved closer to Leo hesitantly. Leo began to hold him, and Nico for the first time since that silly game of truth or dare cried. The two held each other in the dark, letting there be nothing else, but the feelings in this moment.

"Leo..." Nico said softly,

"Yes Nico?" he replied.

"Thank you..." he said softly.

"For what...?" Leo asked,

"Letting me feel like I can talk about this. I needed this. I needed it so much." Nico said gripping Leo's clothes tighter. Leo in return held in like he'd never held someone before, like he was their lifeline.

((so like, I made up with that friend from last chapter and well, damn, I think I'm just gonna go through and change things I genuinely dislike from the old chapters, not a complete redo, but just an edit more. Anyways, I realize the story is very problematic, but I'm happy all of you have stayed with it. I really feel I used this to work through my own trauma and toxic ideas I was raised with, so even though its so far from the canon now, I wanna continue. I wanna allow the characters, like myself to heal from the pain they internalized about themselves in this story. Perhaps one day I'll write this into a real book given how much of a story is here, I'd love to hear your thoughts about that, I read each and every comment on the stories, and they all fill me with confidence and determination. Thank you all.)