CHAPTER 14

The drive to the Italian restaurant is silent. Helia kept his focus on the road while I tried to keep my focus off of him. It bothered me the way he was just sitting there, one hand on the steering wheel and the other resting on the gearshift, mocking me. Tempting me.

Back when we were together, that hand would always be holding onto mine, or resting on my thigh, drawing small circles until my insides would turn into mush. But now? I shot a small glare at his hand before turning to look outside the window, hoping that something out there would distract me from these never-ending thoughts of the man sitting in the driver's seat.

We had been on the road for no less than ten minutes when Helia suddenly pulled into a parking spot off the road. That's when it dawned on me that I would have to sit through an hour's worth of conversation with this man. What were we supposed to talk about?

Helia got out of the car and came around to open the car door for me, but I didn't realise this until he was clicking his fingers in my face, trying to get my attention. I quickly snapped out of it and turned to look at him, apologetically. "What's wrong?" He asked, his brows furrowing in concern, but I just shook my head and smiled at him, placing my hand in his and letting him pull me out of the car.

"Sorry, just zoned out. So where is this restaurant then?" I asked, seeing that we were standing in front of a twenty-four-hour laundromat. I raised my eyebrow at him and he grinned. With my hand still in his, he led me down the sidewalk until we reached the end of the block. Once we turned the corner, there was another street full of more shops and that is when I noticed the small sign saying Benvenuto da Giovanni! outside this cute little restaurant. It had a row of tables along the sidewalk and cute little glass bottle lanterns hanging from the roof, and as we got closer I could smell the fresh pizza dough baking in the fire-oven and immediately knew what I was going to order.

Once the waiter had us seated at a table for two and handed us our menus, did the rush of anxiety hit me. I was beginning to get nervous. It felt like I was on a first date all over again and I could feel the jitters settling in. But then I remembered that this was Helia McGregor, not just some random guy that I'm meeting for the first time. Helia was practically family and I'd be damned if I allowed myself to be nervous around him.

"So what do you feel like having?" I asked, flipping to the back of the menu where the pizza section is. "I'm thinking of getting a pizza because that smell, oooh it's too good."

Helia chuckled before closing the menu and putting it on the table. "Yeah, pizza sounds great. I'll have whatever you're having, as long as it doesn't have olives."

"Well that's a bit rude. What if I want olives?" I teased, shutting my own menu, and putting it on top of his.

"You don't like olives either," He deadpanned, rolling his eyes. "And before you say you do now, I heard you saying how slimy they were that day in the grocery store in Gardenia."

"They're SO slimy – wait hold on. You heard that conversation? How…? We bumped into each other on our way to the checkout." I asked, looking at him curiously when the tips of his ears turned pink. "Helia…"
"Okay fine, I saw you walk into the store and I bumped into you on purpose. I don't know why, it was an in the moment kind of thing. I didn't even think about the fact that I was with Krystal, I just saw you and –"
"Rammed your trolley into mine?"

"When you put it like that, I sound psycho."
"You ARE!" I exclaimed, bursting into laughter "God that day, Krystal looked like she was going to glare me out of existence!"

Helia winced, rubbing the back of his neck, "About that –"
"Bournjono, welcome to Giovanni's. What can I get you?" A waiter asked, interrupting Helia mid-sentence.

"Hi, could we please get the pizza pugliese, please?"

"Sure and what would you like to drink?"
"I'll have a glass of Rose, thanks,"
"And for you, sir?"
"Make that two Rose's please? And could we have some breadsticks?"

"Of course sir," He said, before taking our menus and disappearing into the restaurant.

"What were you going to say?" I asked, trying to bring the topic back to where it was.

Helia shook his head and smiled, "Uhm, I just wanted to apologise about the way Krystal acted that day."

"Oh…Helia, that was months ago, you two aren't together anymore. You shouldn't have to apologise for her actions."

"I know it's just, I'm sorry I let it happen in the first place. Especially now knowing the situation. I would have hated finding out that you were engaged like that." He mumbled, leaning on his forearms.

I reached for his hand and gave it a little squeeze, "Hey, we were both oblivious back then I guess, I can't pretend like I wasn't in the wrong either. Both our actions had reasons behind it and – we're okay Helia, we're going to be just fine." I gave him a reassuring smile, but he just stared at our hands. That's when I realised I was still holding onto his hand so I quickly retracted myself back into my seat and cleared my throat.

"Promise?" He whispered, finally looking at me. I gulped, knowing that he was capable of reading me inside out.

"We just…we need to talk. About this. Everything. There's clearly still things we need to address and…we need to clear it all before we can actually get passed it." I said, fiddling with the tablecloth to avoid his intense gaze. It was unnerving really, how well this man could read me. I really couldn't get anything passed him if I tried.

"I want to have this conversation, Flora. I really just want us –"
"One Pizza Pugliese and two Rose's for the lovely couple, here you go sir, ma'am." The waiter announced, interrupting Helia once again, although instead of getting frustrated, he looked sort of…relieved? "Can I get you anything else?"
"No, thank you," He smiled up at the waiter, who nodded before disappearing again.

Helia and I wasted no time by digging in immediately. We didn't have to worry about anyone around us. There was no paparazzi catching us in odd moments, or ex-girlfriends making judge-y comments, or even nosy family members trying to instigate anything. It was just me, Helia and a giant cheesy pizza, and that's how I wanted it to be forever.

…

After we left Giovanni's, Helia and I decided to call it a night and head back home. The car ride back, however, was much more eventful.

"Why didn't you tell me you were engaged" I said, bluntly, as soon as Helia reversed out of the parking spot and onto the road. He sent me a quick glance, the edges of his lips pulling down.

"I mean, it's not like I didn't want you to know or anything. We weren't on speaking terms and I wasn't just going to message you after five years of silence to tell you that I was engaged to Krystal, of all people."
"I didn't even get an invite, Helia." I mumbled, playing with the bracelet on my wrist to keep me from looking the way I felt. Upset. Regardless of everything that happened, once upon a time Helia was my best friend. If Mason and I got engaged, I would have still wanted Helia there, not as an ex-boyfriend or to mock him by rubbing it in his face, but because no matter what, he will always have that special spot in my life and I would want him there on my big day.

"I didn't have much of a say really. I put you down on the invite list, although I won't lie, it took a lot of debating before I finally did so, but Krystal threw a fit. Something along the lines of "Why would you invite your ex-girlfriend to your wedding after everything she did to you" and blah blah blah. And I just didn't want to start another fight about you so I dropped it. Besides, I thought it would be super awkward, you know? I mean, it was. So I wasn't wrong."
"It was your big day too, Helia. You should be allowed to invite who you want." I risked a glance at him only to find him already scrutinizing me. "What?"
"Nothing, it's just – it's crazy how different you and Krystal are. During the whole wedding planning period, she never once asked what I wanted. It was always "Oh we're getting pink bouquets and the caterers are going to be this this this,"

I scoffed; "What I find crazy is that you managed to put up with her for four years. A bit mental if you ask me,"

Helia chuckled, "Like I said, she wasn't all that bad. Once she wasn't driven by jealousy and resentment towards you, she was actually quite decent. She was convinced that I didn't want anything to do with you, well majority of the time, so I guess she dropped the act and was just being herself. But that's not saying that she was this perfect human being, she had many, many moments where I would just ask myself, am I really doing this?"

"Shouldn't that have been a sign to break up with her? You doubting your relationship?"
"Is this the jealousy talking?" Helia smirked, glancing at me for a second. I scowled at him and looked out the window.

"No." I muttered, then paused and turned back towards him, "Okay fine, just a bit. But don't let that get to your head. I just care about your wellbeing, that's all. No one wants someone to be in a toxic relationship. Especially not with a relationship like ours."
"Oh? A relationship like ours? What sort of relationship is that?" He mocked, steering the wheel to the right.

"What? No. I didn't mean- well, I mean, not a- you know I hate you right." I stuttered, punching him in the arm and turning to face the window again.

He laughed but didn't say anything. Instead he kept his focus on the road.

Jackass. Who does he think he is, riling me up like this? If I wouldn't potentially be risking lives, I'd have taken a swing at him.

Right in the face.

Bastard.

However, there was something that he had said that was just not sitting well, and eventually curiosity overruled and I caved. "What did you mean by 'you didn't want to start another fight about me'?" I asked, turning back to face him. I put my feet up on the chair and leaned up against the passenger door, giving him my undivided attention because really – I was CURIOUS.

It didn't help that as soon as I asked, the tips of his ears turned pink and he cleared his throat. "Oh uh, well, nothing."

"Don't give me that BS Helia," I deadpanned, crossing my arms to appear, well, stern.

It worked because he sighed and nodded. "I may or may not have bought a copy of every single magazine that you featured in, and watched all your catwalks and BTS of photoshoots." My mouth fell open, so he quickly added, "NOT IN A CREEPY WAY or anything. I just liked seeing you successful and making a name for yourself. But Krystal didn't see it like that, I mean not that I blame her really, you were my ex, let alone the fact that you are a bikini model, so it didn't really help that you were hot as fuck. So it made Krystal insecure and she would nag me about it despite my reassurance that I was, indeed, over you. I knew it was a dick move, that's why when it would happen more frequently, I stopped buying or watching them out of respect to her. But as much as you hurt me or whatever, I still wanted to know what you were doing so here and there, I'd always stop by a newsstand to catch up on the latest Flora Maxwell gossip…I still thought you were a massive bitch though."
"Helia I…" was speechless, that's what I was. That day at Lucy's, when we caught him reading the latest issue of Elle, I just brushed it off as a mere coincidence. That he just saw it sitting there and decided to read it out of curiosity. I never, not even for a second, thought that he was reading it to see how successful I am in my career, or because he was happy for me.

I couldn't think of anything to say after that, because really…what was I supposed to say? But luckily I didn't have to sit in that awkward silence for that long because Helia had pulled into his designated parking spot and switched off the engine. I quickly got out of the car before he could come 'round and open the door for me and make me swoon myself out of my senses and do something stupid. Although, it didn't sound like the worst idea at the moment. This man was really making it difficult for me to keep my feelings at bay.

Silently, we entered the elevator and he clicked on the button for our- I mean- his apartment. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was definitely not him being the first to break the silence. After all, I did owe him a reaction to his "confession" earlier. If it was Mason, we'd have both been silent until I came up with the words to respond to him. We'd even go to sleep without so much as a goodnight on some days.

So when he said; "I just want to put it out there though, that I'm REALLY proud of the person that you've become. Despite everything that we've been through, you were- are- still the most important person in my life and I didn't wish anything negative upon you. You've become this amazing, confident person compared to how you used to be and I'm so proud. You were always this shy, timid girl that was too scared of branching out and making friends other than me and Stella because of your insecurities. Now look at you you're this beautiful, confident woman while still keeping the sweet, humble personality that I've always loved and –", I wasn't surprised that my next move was to grab his face and kiss him.

…

I'm just going to act like it hasn't been almost half a year since I last updated this story so…hiii, how is everyone? I hope you're all keeping safe during these tough times x

Hit me up if you need a friend to talk to, God knows I miss mine :(

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review (Seeing your reviews telling me to update is really what motivated me to actually start writing, so it'll really mean a lot to me!)

Stay safe x