Part five

"If you're reading this letter Brogan, then I've told you all about the plan and understand why I had to go. Have faith in it all Brogan. I promised you that I would bring Bucky home and being a man of my word I WILL...it WILL happen. Until that moment though, I am giving you full control of my support group. With this letter are current schedules, keys to my office and paperwork on all that you need to know to keep it running successfully. Apart from Bucky, you're the only other person I trust enough to carry this on for me.

Daniel Is a good man and thinks he could take all this on in my absence but I have my doubts. From that very first moment I met you, back in Bucharest, I knew you had the kindest of hearts and you was special. You have a beautiful soul Brogan and I can see why Bucky fell in love with you. I know you'll do me proud by taking on the group in my absence... Remember next time you see me I'll have your Bucky with me. .

Never forget that I'm with you till the end of the line... regardless of where that may be. Goodbye Brogan...Steve "

With Steve now gone and seemingly out of the picture for a while, time passed slowly for Brogan now. At first she wasn't sure if she could actually follow his wishes of taking over his support group. I mean yes, Brogan was a good person and wanted to help as many people in need as possible. Yet that paralysing hurt of losing her beloved Bucky spread constantly through her body like an icy liquid metal. The more she thought about it, the more it dawned on her that even five years later she had never fully gotten over his death. Bucky would always be her soulmate and live on in her heart for all eternity. Yet that alone wasn't enough. Deep down she knew that truthfully she never had got over his passing, she just learned to cope better with the loss in the best way she could. Not only for herself but for her children too.

After first looking at the letter, Part of her was purely scared to take on the support group. That was all plain and simple. In her head she was just worried that she wouldn't be able to help anyone due to her own raw pain and grief getting in the way. In her eyes, if she couldn't cope herself, how was she going to manage counselling others to look towards to the future and move on with their lives. Also she was scared at the thought of letting Bucky go from her heart as she grew focused on helping others out there. She began to grow anxious that she'd forget him and all those moments they shared prior to his passing. Of course these fears were completely unjust and untrue. She adored Bucky and not even this forced separation would make her forget him. It wasn't until Rebecca told her over dinner one evening "There is nothing to fear but fear itself Mama. You can do this and Papa will be with you every step of the way. Until he returns with Uncle Steve, Papa is looking down on us pride for sure. Fear is part of being human, its the precursor to bravery. We need it Mama, it wakes us up to what needs to be done. So feel and own it. Papa was always so brave when the bad men took him and hurt him like did. Use his courage and strength Mama to help people at uncle Steve's group...just like he would want you to". Yes the super soldier serum may of enhanced her intelligence but Brogan knew her youngest daughter was right. Her mind soon began to cast back to everything Bucky had been through at the hands of HYDRA. The horrific electrical torture as they erased his memories, the painful experiments he endured that turned him into the winter soldier and the forced assassinations they sent him on when they controlled his mind as he became The winter soldier. Even still she just couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like back then for her love. He didn't deserve anything that happened to him, he didn't deserve to be seen as nothing more than a freak and right now, didn't deserve to be apart from his family like this. His bravery and courage shone constantly through his soul pretty much from the first moment he came into her life that day at the museum. The more she thought of how he coped back then, the more she could feel his prodigious courage flowing through her core and demanding her to be brave and strong. It was almost like she could hear his voice telling her to take that leap of faith and look forward. If he could survive all the horrors he endured in the past with HYDRA then she sure as hell could cope running a support group for two nights a week.

With three short sessions already under her belt, things seemed to be going well for Brogan now. She was already more happier in herself and there was something so rewarding about helping others in need. Seeing the smiles on their faces as they listened intently to her calming reassuring words as she spoke. Softly telling them all that things may well seem dark right now but soon every single one of them would soon find that light to guide them through the painful darkness they were all currently experiencing. Just as she had. People were so moved and inspired by her words that the sessions were soon starting to fill up. Soon, with Daniel's help they even had to start up evening sessions.

Pulling her car in the lot of the hall, Brogan could already see there was at least 6 people waiting outside the building and talking to Daniel. Rebecca was sitting next to her in the passenger seat as the car drew to a stop and as soon as the youngster saw the man's eyes light up on seeing her mother arrive, Rebecca couldn't help but roll her eyes at the waving man. Yes much to the little girls dismay, Brogan had grown close to him over the past several days. The two often meeting for lunch and coffees before each session. For Brogan, it was the first time since Bucky's death that another man had taken an interest in her. Of course she liked Daniel but more as a friend and not in the way he wanted her. Her heart would always belong to one James Buchanan Barnes. Infact, Daniel was besotted with her from that very first meeting and saw her as someone he could easily and happily spend the rest of his life with. In Rebecca's eyes the fact her mother didn't feel the same way made Daniel very dangerous...

"Hey B...can you believe how many people have showed up tonight? Its all because of you B..." cried Daniel, leaning on the window. Almost instantly Rebecca couldn't hide her disgust, turning to her big brother and shaking her head in dismay "Hey kids, how you doing? You guys must be so proud of your mother...she's one amazing special woman that's for sure"

"We are if you must know" James snapped. He reached forward and placed a reassuring hand on his baby sisters shoulder giving it a soft squeeze "You know who else is proud of her? Our Papa, you know... her husband...the man she loves! He's going to come home to us one day just as he promised"

"you know Brogan, my friend Laura runs a similar group to this one but for kids. Helps them deal with what happened and their struggles of parents and loved ones not coming back" Seemingly ignoring James, Daniel turned his attention back to Brogan "I can give her a call if you like.. I mean you have moved on and maybe the kids need to too as well"

"I am here you know! Rebecca and I don't need to talk to anyone" There was now a deep level of anger etched deep in James's words. Deep rage and fire soon sparked in the boys eyes as he watched Daniel place his hand over Brogan's, seemingly covering up her wedding band in the process "Get away from my mother...you don't know me...you don't know my family. We don't need YOU or your friends stupid group" he pushed the mans hand away and even Daniel was taken aback by his gesture, gasping in shock "The only person we need right now is Papa...Bucky Barnes...he's coming home so in the meantime STAY AWAY FROM MY MOTHER!"

"JAMES MARKSON-BARNES...that is ENOUGH" Cried Brogan stunned. Her eyes wide in disbelief and jaw open mouthed in dismay. She'd never seen this side to her eldest son before. He was always kind and gentle. Hearing him like this was completely out of character and left her shocked "Im sorry Daniel...look why don't you take everyone inside...give me a moment with the kids"

"its OK B...they're just still grieving that's all and understandable" he smiled reaching for her shoulder "we got bout 10 minutes till we start so I'll see you inside... Don't be too long"

Turning off the engine of the car, Brogan greeted with Rebecca with a warm loving smile opened her arms. Quickly, Rebecca scooted onto her lap and pressed her head on her mother's chest as Brogan pulled her close. Gently stroking her curls. Pretty much the same tactic she used whenever Bucky's anxiety and nerves got the best of him when she went on the run with him all those years ago. Judging by the way Rebecca relaxed instantly in her mother's arms and stopped crying, Brogan knew it was yet another trait she had inherited from her super soldier father

"so want to tell me what's brought all this on?" she soothed as James climbed over into the passenger seat "Talk to me guys. We're family remember and families tell each other everything right? Haven't we been through enough already" she reached over and gently cupped James's cheek "I Miss him too you know..."

"Its that man Mama...he wants to take you away from Papa" sniffed Rebecca still crying as she clung onto her mothers blouse. Brogan let out a sigh, kissed the little girls head and pulled her close "I feel it from him Mama. Don't let him do it please...he wants you away from Papa...Papa will come home. Just don't forget him Mama...he still loves you wherever he's been these past 5 years...please don't fall for that mans intentions"

"Oh my Darling girl" Brogan cried, her own eyes welling tears and heart breaking at her daughters pain "NOTHING I repeat NOTHING will take me away from your father... I'll never stop loving him with all my heart and every part of my soul"

"but that man...he likes you...really likes you Mama!" interrupted James "he won't stop till he has you forget all about Papa I just know it.."

"believe me that's never going to happen. I'll never forget anything to do with your father and all we shared" through the cloudy mass of her mind numerous images soon filled her head. That moment Bucky literally ran into her at the Smithsonian museum, the first kiss they shared after he saved her from getting attacked by James's dad in the alley way and the first time they made love, joining together and fusing them as one. All those wonderful moments that left there mark on her for all eternity now and further cementing it further that Bucky Barnes was her soulmate "you're far too young to understand both of you but Bucky and I share so much more than a love. We share a connection too. He completes me and was that missing piece in my soul that had been empty for so long" she smiled softly "I love your father so much and I'll never feel that way about anyone for the rest of my life. Its that love I have for him that knows I will never forget him and its that love too that gives me faith and hope he will come back to me...come back to Us all..."

"so you won't leave Papa for that man then?"

"Never...Rebecca your father will always be part of who I am now until the day I leave this earth. I knew from that very first moment I met him at the museum my life was going to change. I love your father so much and it would take a lot more than someone like Daniel to lure me away from him...he will come home to us...trust me" she continued to tenderly stroke the little girls hair "He might not be with me right now but Bucky and I always find a way of reuniting somehow. Until he does, he lives on in our hearts and that's exactly how he told he would. My love for him will never die Rebecca... I promise you" Both children literally hurled themselves at their mother as Brogan couldn't hold it in no more and promptly burst into tears "Things will get better guys...I love you both OK...Papa will come home and we will be a family again...I promise"

With the children in her arms, Brogan caught sight of Daniel standing outside the church hall still waiting for her. Her mind cast back to Steve's final note...could it really happen? Could he really bring her Bucky home? Her head was telling her one thing but her heart was telling her another. Yet Brogan decided it was her heart she was going to listen too now. The heart never lies and if it was telling her to have faith in Bucky returning...then it WOULD happen...