Part 7

Slipping out of his robe, Bucky Barnes's toes began to clinch as he crossed the chilled ceramic tilled floor of the bathroom. His body ached and without a doubt the final battle with Thanos had left him more battered and bruised than he realised. It wasn't just his physical scars that were hurting but the deep emotional ones within him too that were still raw since he and Steve had arrived at the hotel. For the entire journey in, Bucky just sat on the back seat of the car aimlessly staring at the near faded picture of Brogan and the children that had remained in his pocket still in the five years since his "passing". He couldn't help but wonder how much had changed in his absence and how would she now cope knowing he was back. Yet with the guilt of his extended absence and grief from the final battle still enveloping him, he hoped at least the shower would help once he got into the room. Reaching for the dials, the water soon began to pour over his skin like a waterfall. The cubical soon filled with a warm steam as the water continued to cascade over his face and wash the blood and dirt away from his pained achy face. His eyes fell closed once again as he leant against the wall of the shower, each time they had done so continuing to show him images of Pepper Potts sobbing over the body of her beloved Tony. The images so clear in the current cloudy mass of his mind they were almost like photographs

Taking a deep breath, Bucky let out a deep sigh and once again began to think back to that moment. Yes he and Tony had a past since it had emerged what Bucky had done to Tony's parents when he was under his Winter Soldier persona. Yet Bucky never gave hope that one day that maybe he'd get the chance to make amends for his past. Reminding himself that although he couldn't undo his past misdeeds, since meeting brogan he'd dedicated himself to walking the right path and was now trying to find forgiveness and his own redemption for all that HYDRA had forced on him. He'd spent so long trying to forgive himself that he hoped he'd earned it in the eyes of the billionaire, yet as he'd watched Pepper cradle her dead love in her arms Bucky knew that moment was now gone. Like the rest of the avengers, Bucky dropped to his knee showing the respect they all shared for Tony and for his ultimate act of self sacrifice. The pain and hurt of knowing now he'd never get the chance to make amends now. Not even his silent "Im sorry Tony..." could ease the pain he was feeling right now. This was made even more worse when Steve Told him that Tony and Pepper had a child too. He couldn't help but think about his beautiful Rebecca and the five years of her life he'd missed... Hopefully she wouldn't hate him? The water poured on him more as he ran his hands through the long wavy locks of his hair. Bucky bathed his skin, taking careful not to touch the bruises that were scattered over his body. Soon the sensations of the steamy water soon began to calm him and his mind went to Brogan and the fact he'd finally see her again soon...

Shower now done, Bucky headed to the sink and picked up a small pair of metallic scissors propped up by the sink. His gaze fell to the photo of his family he propped up by the mirror. Trimming his beard it still felt so strange being back after so long. As the hairs slowly dropped into the bowl below, his eyes never left the photograph. His eyes locked on the grainy image of his beautiful family smiling back at him. Despite the long five years of his absence, Bucky still never forgot the love of his life. Yes the photo was starting to fade now but Brogan's beautiful emerald eyes he adored still stood out for him, filling His heart with even more love for his true love and soulmate. He never forget any of them. His beautiful Rebecca and his treasured adoptive Son. It was the very thought of finally seeing them again that got him through the long periods of forced separation between himself and his family.

Numerous thoughts soon began to fill his head now as he desperately tried to find some answers in everything that had gone on since he'd been away. Had Brogan finally given up on him as that little voice of self doubt told him as she always would?, had she found comfort in the arms of another?. Well five years was a long time and even though he was desperately trying not to listen to that inner voice, deep down he wouldn't blame her if she did. Deciding to deal with whatever the outcome that awaited, Bucky's chest began to rise as he hoped it would be back in the arms of the woman he loved. Letting him enjoy the comfort of her embrace and feel more warmth than ever felt in the five years he'd been away... He felt so alive having Brogan in his life. He never imagined having someone as special as her fall in love with him despite his past and the issues that came with him. There was a lot of deep emotional pain that came with Bucky Barnes. Yet whenever he was around her, all that pain and hurt just melted away with one embrace in her arms or one smile. He always knew she was safe and that of course gave him some comfort but the fact that came at the cost of missing five years with her and his family, that was the cruellest twist of all...

A small smile filled his lips as he closed his eyes, this time images of a Happy family scene back in Wakanda soon began to fill his head. He could see himself furiously working the vegetable patch next to the farmhouse, little Rebecca and James were laughing as they tried chasing one of the baby goats back into the pen and there sitting on a log sketching the happy scene furiously on a pad was his beautiful Brogan. Oh if he could go back to those moments again...

"Hey..." a gentle knock on the door soon bought Bucky back to reality. Turning his head, he quickly placed the photo on the pillow and saw it was Steve "Car should be here in about 10 Buck...you OK?"

"Yeah I'm fine...its just.." Bucky sighed, running his metal hand through the still damp locks of his hair "Im just...I cant believe im gonna say this but I'm just scared Steve...scared of what's awaiting me. I've been gone for five long years. My feelings for her haven't changed but what if Brogan's have?" he bit his lower lip anxiously and looked sadly at the floor. His heart breaking "I've missed so much of Rebecca's life too. She's going to be old enough to understand about the effects of the serum now. She's never going to forgive me for the life I've forced on her...they are all going to hate me...I know it"

"Listen to me Bucky...NONE of them hate you. If anything they are all so proud of what you did in joining the fight. That's the bigger picture here trust me" Steve sat next to him on the bed and reached for the obviously distraught mans shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly "Rebecca constantly would tell me she's proud to be your daughter and was telling anyone who'd listen that she was proud to have the name Barnes. Yes she now does indeed know more about the serum effects but Brogan has been helping her embrace the differences in her. Buck, you'll be so proud of the amazing girl she's become trust me on this...she's incredible and leaves me in awe" he smiled warmly "She's so bright and intellectually is on par with that of a teenager. She's embraced her athletic side and is an incredible gymnast and aerialist. She gave us all a heart attack on her 5th birthday. She found some rope and attached it to a raised beam in the garage. Natasha walked in and saw her doing these amazing tricks on the rope...you should have seen her face seeing this little girl roll down the rope and land on her feet" he laughed, pains of sadness soon hit him as he reflected on his lost friend "As for James he's still seeing himself as man of the house. He keeps Rebecca grounded and in line. Oh and he's grown his hair long now just like yours. He's looked up to since the day you left... So yes you may of been gone for 5 years Buck but you've left your mark on both of them ..they've never forgotten you...they love and adore you too much"

"What about Brogan then?" Whispered Bucky forcing out a smile "Has she. You know...I mean... Met anyone else? You know forgotten me?"

"Im not gonna gloss over this and lie to you Buck but she's struggled at times. Mentally its been tough on her " Steve forced out a hopefully reassuring smile to his obviously distraught best friend "But you know the one thing that got her through those dark times? YOU...It absolutely killed her when I bought her and the kids here from Wakanda. Killed her to leave the farm and the life you created there. She felt like she turning her back on you and the promise you made to her about coming home. She felt guilty and thought she was abandoning you and your memory by leaving"

"WHAT!?" Id never think that of her" Bucky soon let out a deep heartfelt sigh as his chest began to rise and fall in the same rhythm as his pulse "She's my life Steve. All that mattered to me was that she and the children were safe. For that I have you to thank... Just like everything you've ever done for me"

"From that moment you made me promise to keep your family safe back in Bucharest I've vowed to watch over them all and I always will. Brogan is stronger than you realise Bucky and it's your courage that got her through this too" Steve smiled warmly as his eyes locked on Bucky's piercing blue own "As for her meeting someone else...no...Her heart has always belonged to you. You were always her world and one true love. Love like you guys have doesn't come along that often so embrace every moment Buck. You deserve to be happy with her and now you're back, you'll get your happy ending at long last. You'll never have to doubt if your worthy again" Steve couldn't help but think back to Peggy as he reached down for her picture in the compass that never left him "never doubt if your worthy of a happy ending pal. You've redeemed yourself in everyone's eyes now. Your story with Brogan is just beginning from now on.. Now go find her" he smiled. The two men got to their feet and hugged. They'd been through so much together but even after everything were still closer than ever "Im still waiting for my happy ending but I couldn't be more prouder that you are getting yours...finally"

"Thank you.." Bucky smiled, his pale blue eyes almost glistening with damp tears "don't give up on hope Buddy. Even the great captain America will get his happy ending somehow. Hope was the one thing I struggled with before I met Brogan but now I realise how powerful having hope is. Even when I was away, I never gave up hope that I'd see her again and now I can...all thanks to you and the others...I owe you everything Steve...I'll never forget all you've done for me"

"listen to me...you're my best friend Buck. My brother even... You don't owe me anything. If you want to do something for me then go to your family, live life to the fullest and enjoy every second with them all...that's all I want from you my friend" the two men hugged once more as Bucky clung on tight onto his shoulder "Now can this semi stable 100 year old man get into gear and get a move on!? That car will be here any minute"

"Thanks Buddy ..for everything... " Bucky couldn't help but laugh as Steve gave a fake jokey salute and soon left him on his own once again. A small reassured smile filled his face as he reached for the faded photo on the pillow.. Slowly he began to caress the image of his wife with his metallic hand "See you soon brogan... I'm never leaving you again...I promise"