Part 9

With her head resting gently on Bucky's thigh, Brogan still just couldn't take it in that he was here and had finally at long last come home to her and the family. Her heart was full to burst in sheer joy now, her overwhelming love at being back in the embrace of the man she adored. As Bucky began to stroke her back with his long metallic fingers, Brogans thoughts all but stopped as if her heart took over from her head now. Reaching up she took his hand in her own and gave it a gentle squeeze. Bucky couldn't help but smile and leant forward to kiss the top of her head. By just squeezing her hand back, he gave her more deep reassurances that he was indeed real and was home...She was back with him now and it felt so great to be in his arms once again. Just to feel the warmth of his cheek on hers as they cuddled tightly, his soft hand brushing the hair from her face and hearing him laugh as she told him all of little Rebecca's exploits in the five years he had been away. His "passing" had left her shattered, isolated and alone. Could she finally let go and accept that he was back? There was always gonna be that little niggling voice of self doubt in her mind that he'd leave her again and she'd be alone once more. She just couldn't lose him again... She just couldn't...

Every day since he had gone, she'd dreamed so often of being in his arms once again. She missed him so much and it was only when he was gone did it hit her truly how much Bucky had changed her life and how much of her soulmate he truly was. Not having him around for five long years had been heart-breaking enough but having him back had opened up so many deep feelings she had kind of buried deep since she lost him. Not even Daniel's attempts at luring her away could change her feeling's for Bucky. Bucky Barnes owned her heart and would do so until the day she left this world

For Bucky, home just wasn't just about being back from being dusted it was more about bring finally back in the arms of woman he loved. Caressing her hair, he never wanted the moment to end and he could stay here all day if he could. Just having her this close, nestled between his thighs already gave him him all the assurances he needed that everything was going to be alright between them both now. He was determined never to let her go from now on. Smiling, he couldn't help himself and slowly Bucky slipped his hand under the back of her blouse that he had somehow managed to pull from the back of her jeans. At long last finally getting to feel her soft delicate ivory skin as he brushed over her spine with the tips of his fingers. Brogan let out a soft moan, closing her eyes as her body went into sensory overload at his touch. Bucky soon could hear her breathing become deep and shallow, hearing her let out another moan as tiny goose bumps shot up instantly over her body. With his confidence growing and reassured he wasn't crossing the line on his first day back with her, Bucky let his hand push the blouse up further. Slowly he slipped his hand under the back of her bra, continued to stroke her sides and soon pulled down at the cup. Giving him just enough access to run his long fingers over her mound and gently stroke the lower part her breast. God he missed this. He missed being this close to her and touching her so intimately like this. He loved hearing her reactions to his touches now but still he didn't want to push her too far and slowly went back to caressing her hair and back...

"I Don't want to kill the moment but can I ask you something Bucky?" whispered Brogan, she lift her head to look up at him "For the last few years I've tried not to think too much about it but I need to know. Where did you go when you...when you was taken? How did it happen? Did you really turn to dust?"

"Its OK, I can tell you If it's what you want" replied Bucky. Forcing out a smile "its not easy to fully explain but I'll tell you what I know and felt"

"I know all those fallen must have gone somewhere but nobody really knew where" Brogan couldn't help but weep as her mind cast back to that fateful day "I felt you leave that day Bucky. It felt like part of my soul had been ripped clean away from my core. I've never felt pain like that. Part of my heart and soul died on that day...I never thought I'd see you again"

"Im so sorry I put you through all that" guilt hit him hard once more. Never in his wildest dreams did he ever want to cause her pain like that "The biggest thing I can remember back then was how deathly silent everything soon became. I should have known then that something bad was going happen. Biggest sign of what was to come" Bucky let out a deep painful sigh as he tried to go back to that moment "All you could hear was the wind in the trees around me. The silence though just made my blood run cold. My instinct told me that something bad had happened. I called out to Steve but it was too late. I only managed one step towards him before I looked down at my arm and it was already turning to dust. I managed to meet Steve's gaze one final time and saw his eyes all wide from fear as he froze to the spot. I took one more step toward towards him but that was it. I fell to the ground and everything went black. There was a deep pain that took over my whole body. It wasn't physical pain but more in my soul. My best friend had seen me die for the second time and once again there was nothing he could do...I can tell you this though" He reached down and took her hand in his, bringing it to his mouth and planting a soft kiss "You was my last thought Brogan. If this was it and I was going to die then I wanted you to be with me in some form. Whatever had happened to me, I didn't want to forget you. With you in my heart, I could face anything thrown at me. Even dying like this..."

"oh Bucky..." Brogan sobbed, turning to face him she cupped his cheek "Im not gonna lie it hasn't been easy. I just didn't know how I was going to cope without you. Life just wasn't worth living anymore if I'm honest with you. I was in a very dark place for a long time. Know what got me through? Our children Bucky...Steve and more importantly you... " she smiled "people told me that the dusted would never return but I knew you would. We always find each other in the end" still kneeling between his thighs, Brogan reached for the back of his head and kissed him hard. There lips merging as one as Bucky once again began to trace her spine with his fingers pulling her closer"So where did you go then? What was it like there?"

"I have no idea really" he sighed "I have no idea how long I was out for but when I finally woke up I was lying face down on the floor. My eyes began to slowly adjust and when they did all I could hear was intense screaming from all around me. At first I thought it was the voices in my head again of the people who died at my hands as the winter soldier but after a while it hit me that it wasn't..." he sadly looked at the floor "I could hear people sobbing, children crying out for parents and nothing but deep confusion and fear. I got to my feet and found myself surrounded by a group of people. Some I recognised from the final battle in Wakanda. Then I heard someone call me name...I turned and it was Sam Wilson. He was standing there like all the blood had been drained from his face...he was in shock"

"Sam? Sam was there?"

"He told me that some doctor guy had said we was in a place called the soul world. That was when I knew that I was one of those lost to the snap. I was one of the fallen like Sam, Shuri and T'challa...one of the dusted"

"oh me god they died too? Can't imagine how the queen must have felt finding that out" Brogan sat stunned and shocked beyond words "least they had each other...how did you cope?"

"Well believe it or not I actually grew close to Sam. Obviously with the fact I tried to kill him multiple times when I was the Winter Soldier things will never be perfect between us" Bucky laughed "But he helped me through and we kinda of bonded if that makes sense. He's a good man..hope he's doing ok too now that he's back" the man went back to stroking her hair as Brogan hung on his every word "it was that doctor guy that told him it would be five years till we would all come home. I just broke down and sobbed when Sam told me. Hearing that just killed me Brogan. That was five years without you in my arms and five years of my children's lives I'd be missing too. The very thought broke my soul but Sam was there for me. He kept telling me it was all about being patient until I'd be back with you all once more..."

"I thought you was dead at first...I thought I'd never see you again Bucky"

"Well I kind of was dead. The soul world was like being in limbo. I wasn't in heaven but I wasn't in reality either" Bucky continued "all I could do was wait it out. Nothing will change the guilt within me at leaving you all still. Its been eating at me for five years now but hopefully things will change now I'm home...Sam helped me find that balance"

"James Buchanan Barnes you have nothing to feel guilty about" She smiled cupping his still heavily bearded cheek with her tiny fingers "You did the right thing in joining the fight and I'm so proud of you. You didn't know what was going to happen Bucky. All that matters is that you're home. You're back with your family now just as you said you would" getting to her feet, Brogan sat on his lap and kissed him once more. This time even more passionate and intense. When it was over, she reached for a loose lock of his hair and tucked it behind his ear "I never forgot you Bucky Barnes and I never will...I love you...now let's go home"