Splintered Dreams

"Shinra Secrets"

Chapter 38

Standing outside the black wrought-iron gates of the Shinra Mansion Tifa waited for Zack to round up the others and join her. He hadn't wanted to separate, but she just wasn't ready to walk through the familiar streets of her past just yet. The Shinra Mansion had been off limits as a child, and as such, it wasn't familiar in the same way that the inn and bakery were. Or that creaking windmill that tugged her heart with every slow rotation.

She had opted to wait here, at the end of the drive, and Zack—being Zack—had understood her unspoken hesitation. So, he had let her be, leaving her with a warm touch and a gentle smile that made her ache. This place...was an open wound between them.

She wanted to just grab him and run, to escape from here because she wished, with all her heart that, that Zack wouldn't have to face whatever it was she knew he was going to. She had an idea, a vague gut-clenching sense of terror that whatever was in that hollow shell of a home in front of her would change everything. And that scared her.

"Sssephi...roth..."

Tifa turned, startled to see a figure in a black cloak lurching from behind the shrubbery near the gate. Pale, drawn skin, cracked lips and bloodshot eyes peeked at her as thin hands pushed the hood back, and lank, scraggly strands of dirty hair fell over a crooked nose. "Can you...hear him?" The thin man wheezed, hand outstretched towards her.

"Sir?" Tifa glanced over her shoulder, but Zack and the others were not to be seen.

"The voices...tell me...find it...bring it to Sephiroth..." The man coughed, lurched and fell onto his hands and knees.

Biting her bottom lip, Tifa crouched beside him. "Sir, are you sick?"

Fingernails dug into her forearm and spittle dotted his chin. "They won't stop...the voices...please...please stop the voices..."

"I..." Tifa didn't know what to do, what to say. "I can take you to the clinic," she said, trying to help him stand. The arm of his cloak was pushed back, revealing a faded number 11 tattoo that looked a lot like Nanaki's 13.

"Don't!" He screeched, throwing himself away from her. "Must...get...it. Sssssephi...roth...must join...reunion..." He frantically crawled away from her, disappearing into the shadows behind the mansion.

"What the hell..." She shook her head, frowning. Was that what the cloaked figures in Midgar were like? No wonder they were given such wide berth and ignored. She briefly contemplated going after him-he needed help, afterall-but what could she offer? What would this town of fake people offer someone so clearly ill?

Would they even help him?

She let out her breath, pushed her fingers through her hair and fought back a growl of frustration. She turned back to the mansion, willing it to burst into flames.

Sunlight glinted off decorative glass windows and danced across the ground. She could still hear the bustle of activity behind her, still smell the baking and the berries—now ripened along the trail—and still almost pretend...almost...

"Hi, uhm, Tifa...I got these for you, thought you might like them...They taste good..." Summer was gold and blue...so blue...

The slow creak of the windmill jarred her back to reality and she blinked away the fresh burn behind her eyes. She knew this place. It seemed, she had always known this place, even as a little girl she had found her way through trees and trails, made new paths and explored every inch of Nibleheim. Every bloom, every rock, every new creek.

She knew the sounds, and the smells, and the seasons. The warm summers, the blossoming springs, the brisk autumns and the bitter winters. She knew the feel of the air before the snow, and before the rain. She knew the chorus of birds and rustle of wildlife.

She knew Nibleheim by heart and in her heart. And this place...this place wasn't Nibleheim. Her Nibleheim was gone, and if she turned, and the sun glinted just right, then she didn't see the lawns and the houses, but instead her eyes would burn with visions of fire and blood.

So she didn't turn. She stayed steady in her spot at the end of the drive, and waited.

Being off limits the old mansion had held a certain fascination and mystery for her as a child—and all the townspeople, really. Rumor and ghost stories were always plentiful, and there was often speculation of buried ex-wives and secrets that swirled around the mansion.

The odd quiet and stillness of the place had only increased and encouraged the tales. Big enough to house four families, the massive estate sat mostly vacant, unattended, it appeared with the exception of the occasional delivery truck and late-night light flickering.

Wondering what was really inside,Tifa hesitantly glanced over her shoulder again and this time spotted Zack and the others approaching. Lips drawn tight and eyes a blend of green and blue, Zack looked fierce and distant and very un-Zack. That unwelcome feeling of foreboding washed over her again.

Looking away from him, she turned back to the house and frowned. What was in there? What had happened? She knew, because he had told her, that Zack and Cloud had been held in a lab beneath the main house by Hojo. Her lips twisted. How very Shin-Ra like. Immaculate and pristine on the surface...twisted and evil underneath.

"Yo." Barret's hand found her shoulder, gave a strong squeeze. Silent, steady, his support was there.

"Hey," she covered his fingers with hers, squeezed back. I'm okay, went unsaid.

"So, what're we doing here?" he asked, scowling at the house.

Tifa felt Zack move up beside her, and she slipped her hand into his. His fingers were unnaturally cool.

"This is the place that set Sephiroth off," Zack told them. "Whatever he found in that library sent him into crazy town. We just need to find what it is, and then maybe we can get a clue as to where he's going and what he's up to."

"Aw, man, so we're gonna go read a bunch of books?" Yuffie huffed and crossed her arms. "Lame."

Barret sent her a dark look over his shoulder. She was unmoved.

"That is, of course, taking into account that you can read," Nanaki said, cocking his head.

"Oh, you!" Yuffie poked her tongue out.

"All right." Barret shifted his weight, looked at Zack. "Anything we should know before going in?"

"No." Zack shook his head.

Tifa sent him a questioning glance, but remained silent. If he didn't want the others to know, then she wouldn't betray that. "Yeah," Tifa rubbed the bridge of her nose, not exactly sure how to explain her weird run-in. "One of the people wearing the cloaks-"

"Cloakies," Yuffie interjected with a grin.

"All right," Weird girl. "One of the cloakies, was here."

"Are you okay?" Zack demanded and that caused her brow to arch. That was an unusual amount of concern, considering she was standing right beside him, perfectly fine. He seemed to catch himself and rubbed the back of his neck, not meeting her gaze. "What happened?"

"Not much," she informed them. "He was mumbling and shaking. Said something about voices and Sephiroth and honestly, I couldn't make sense of it." Her eyes flicked to Nanaki and she was tempted to mention the odd tattoo, but decided to wait. It could be coincidence and it could mean nothing. No sense in worrying anyone over something she couldn't even explain. "He ran around back of the mansion," she finished.

"Should we go look for him?" Aerith asked.

"Is there a chance this person could be useful?" Cait asked from his perch on Nanaki's shoulders. "Maybe he can answer some questions."

"Doubtful," Tifa shook her head. "He was barely coherent." She tugged her bottom lip with her teeth. "But he did seem sick. I'm just..." she looked at Zack, hoping he would understand. "I just don't think he'll get the help he needs here."

Zack gave a curt nod. "Agreed. We leave him be. If he is connected to this, and Sephiroth, then he's not the only one, and I'd rather not have a bunch of deranged cloakies following us."

"So, we're just going to leave him?" Aerith looked between them. Tifa lowered her eyes and toed the ground with her boot. It did seem heartless, but what could they do?

"We have a mission, and a job," Barret replied. "We help where we can. From the sounds of it, there ain't no help for this guy, so we move on." His measured gaze met everyone. "It won't always be easy or cut and dry," he added, "and decisions get hard. But we have to make them. Now let's move."

"Ready?" she asked Zack quietly.

He nodded.

"Together," she said, turning to face him and tightening her grip on his hand. "You're not alone."

He raised a brow, lip arched on one side in an attempt at a smile and Tifa thought she loved him all the more for that. He reached up, wound a lock of her hair around his fist and gently tugged her closer. "I know," he said, bumping her forehead with his.

Do you? she wondered when he stepped back and his eyes were still clouded. Do you really understand, Zack? I love you.

The path leading up to the mansion seemed to stretch forever and yet it was only moments before they were standing on the grand porch, the elaborate door in front of them.

"Suppose it's locked?" Aerith asked. "Or...maybe someone's here?"

"Should we knock?" Nanaki wondered.

"Lemme pick the lock. I am a whiz with locks!" Yuffie tried to nudge between Barret and Zack. "C'mon, guys, lemme try!"

"Fuck that," Barret lifted one heavy boot, kicked the door off its hinges.

"That's one way to so it," Aerith murmured, amused.

"Delicacy ain't my thing."

"No doubt," Nanaki concurred.

The inside foyer was expansive and dusty, Tifa noted, swiping her finger on the wall. And the place smelled. Of what...she couldn't quite place, but it lingered in the air; slightly musky and sickeningly sweet.

"Stay together or split up?" Nanki asked.

"Together," Zack answered. "I know where we're going." With that he moved ahead of them, his shoulders straight and stiff. The others didn't seem to notice the slight hesitation in his steps as he moved, but she did, and Tifa had to once more force down the urge to grab his arm and drag him out of the mansion.

Everything they passed was of finest quality and expensive taste. Decoration, Zack mused, as he took in the house. A beauty patch to cover the ugly truth of this place. During his escape he hadn't bothered to pause and admire the intricate woodwork or plush carpeting, and he wasn't really admiring them now. It was just easier to make clinical observations than to think about where he was headed.

He was walking back into that lab...of his own free will. Something he would have sworn in blood that would never fucking happen. And yet, here he was, in that small closet of a side room, standing in front of the secret passage and the twisted, dark stairway that would take him straight into the heart of his nightmares.

"Zack..."

His name snapped his head around and he found dark eyes simmering with emotions—so many, he couldn't pick one—staring up at him. Her fingers were soft on his cheek when she spoke. "We don't have to. We can look somewhere else."

Tempting. Gods above, that was tempting, but it was here, in this place that Sephiroth had gone insane, and it was here that they stood the best chance of learning why.

She must have seen the answer in his eyes because she firmed her lips and nodded almost imperceptibly. "We're right here with you," she told him. "No matter what."

Taking her hand, he brought her palm to his lips in his now familiar habit of 'good luck'. "Let's go."

"Ugh, this place is creepy," Yuffie squeaked, swiping her hands through her hair and batting at the webbing on the stone walls. "Anyone else feel like spiders are in their hair?"

"Yuffie!" Tifa hissed over her shoulder. But Zack didn't even flinch. Not even spiders were more disturbing than what they were heading to and that reaction alone sent Tifa's stomach twisting into knots.

"Where the hell does this go?" Barret demanded. "It ain't another six thousand mile Shin-Ra staircase of doom is it?"

"No." Zack's voice was tight. "We're almost there."

The lower recesses of the Shinra Mansion were dark. Dim lights flickered along the walls.

"This place still has power," Aerith murmured. "Is someone here?"

Zack's fingers twitched. He wasn't completely sure. Had they rebuilt the lab in the months since he'd escaped? When he had taken Cloud and left there had been only one assistant in the lab. True, there had still been a handful of guards and patrols, but nothing like when Shin-Ra occupied a town, so was it foolish for him to assume that Shin-Ra had simply abandoned this place? He tossed a look over his shoulder. "Reeve?"

Cait snorted and rolled his eyes, but the voice that came out was even toned and unaccented. "I'm looking...no. I have no records of activity here." There was a pause. "Ever."

"There are too many conflicting scents for me to tell," Nanaki rumbled. "I can scout ahead if you would like," he offered.

"No." Zack's answer was short and sharp. He stopped walking, took a breath. "No," he said again, softer. "We stay together."

Nanaki nodded. "All right."

"Reeve, see what you can dig up on the Nibleheim reactor incident," Zack added. "They may have been able to cover up most of it, but they couldn't possibly remove everything."

"On it."

"Let me know what you find."

"If you all are done talking around me," Cait huffed, "I'd like to have my brain back."

"That is the weirdest godsdamn toy," Barret shook his head.

"Who you calling a toy, you over-sized action figure!"

"Aw, but he's so cuddly!" Yuffie scooped Cait off the ground, hugged him.

"Get off me, ya crazy loon!" Cait bopped her on the head.

Yuffie dropped him unceremoniously back onto the stone. "Jerk."

Cait stood, brushed his belly and adjusted his crown. "She hurt my bottom," he informed them. Then, to Tifa, "Kiss it better?"

"Want me to step on him?" Barret offered.

"Considering it," Tifa nodded.

"Okay, okay. I'll be good." Cait held up his hands.

Despite the banter as they walked through the corridor the tension hung heavy around them. The unknown, stomach turning smell that Tifa had sniffed when they entered the mansion was abundant down here and it clogged her throat.

"What is that smell?" she asked covering her mouth and pinching her nose.

"Mako." It was Barret that answered, surprising her. "Unfiltered. Lots of it." His gaze moved to Zack. "Some fucked up shit going on down here," he commented.

Behind them, Yuffie made a high pitched sound of distress. Her fingers wrapped tight around Zack's bicep and she did a spastic dance. "Is that...is that a freakin' coffin?"

Absently Zack looked toward the dark corner she was pointing at. "Is that thing still here? Figured they would have buried it by now."

"So, it is a coffin!" Yuffie practically climbed onto his shoulder. "Gross. Gross, and ew. What the hell is wrong with people? Who keeps coffins in their basements?"

"Maybe they figured they might need it," Aerith said, drawing all eyes to her. She met Zack's look with a curious and worried one of her own. "Where are we going, Zack?"

"There's a library down here," he said, shaking free of Yuffie.

"That ain't the only thing," Barret commented, crossing his arms over his chest.

"And a lab," Zack added.

"A lab?" Aerith frowned. "Like the one I was in at Shin-Ra?"

A tick worked in his jaw. "Something like that."

"Oh..."

"Why?" Yuffie wanted to know. "Why would anyone put a lab down here? Especially fancy pants Shin-Ra. Don't they have like a bagillion gil... couldn't they have a better location?"

"Small town, not a lot of people, fancy set-up as a front," Barret contemplated. "Covering up something bad. Something that sparky, fancy-pants Shin-Ra could deny if it was discovered." He looked at Zack. "Am I right?"

Green swirled behind cerulean. "Yeah." He straightened, shouldered to the front of the group. "this way."

His mind was a buzz of conflicting thoughts and feeling and shit that he just wanted to shut off. He needed to be calm. Needed to be cool, but that wasn't happening. He wasn't steady. He was fissured and the pressure was building and soon...soon, he thought, he was gonna crack.

No. Won't. Can't.

Too much depended on him. His team, his family...Tifa. He wouldn't crumble. Not now. Because if he broke, then there was a chance that he wouldn't be there when he was needed, and he refused, absolutely refused, to walk away from Tifa. Not again.

Determination won over fear, and with a breath, Zack moved forward.

The lab was adjacent to the library. They didn't have to go in, he knew. They could avoid it. Whatever Sephiroth had found hadn't been in the lab. Hell, Zack hadn't known there was a lab until he was in the damn thing. Even as he thought it, he was turning left instead of right.

With a surprisingly steady hand, he pushed open the steel door that led to the Mako Chambers.

There were still shards of reinforced glass scattered on the floor; the pieces still stained with his blood from when he'd smashed his fist through. They crunched beneath his boot.

The others were curiously silent as they followed him inside, even Yuffie, whom he'd expected to have a barrage of comments regarding the place.

He wanted to look at Tifa, but at the same time he didn't want to see her horror...revulsion. It would break him, and he couldn't break.

The room was exactly as he remembered it. He looked to his left, lips thinning. Even the lab assistant's lunch tray remained on the ground, it's contents long spoiled and more mush than anything recognizable.

Directly in front of him was a desk and computer monitors. Zack could remember, through hazy pain and green fog, watching Hojo type and click and tap his fingers together.

Shaking himself, Zack scanned the room, trying to remain impassive. Objective. They were here for clues. Shelves, lined with notebooks and jars of gods knew what; folders and files, wired cases and electrodes...

"Hey, what's back here?"

Zack looked over, saw Yuffie in the back corner. She gestured to an open doorway. The one that led to the slab.

Bile rose in his throat, and Zack swallowed. Before he could reply, Barret was pushing past Yuffie. "Looks like an operating room, or something." His voice filtered back into the lab. "Some fucked up shit, man."

Zack could feel Tifa's eyes on him, so he straightened, made every effort to keep his expression neutral. With careful steps—twenty-three of them—Zack crossed the lab and followed Barret into the little antechamber of Hell.

Cold metal, leather restraints—still stained with blood, overhead light.

Mocking laughter.

Needles to skin.

Flesh peeling.

Stop. Please. Please.

Precious.

On the other side of the room Barret picked up a short handled blade and in the background of his mind Zack heard himself scream.

Turning his head, he vomited.

"Zack." Tifa was there in an instant, one hand gripping his shoulder while the other made soothing circles on his back.

He gently shook her off. "I'm fine," he said, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth.

"What the hell is this place?" Barret looked around the room, disgust evident. He looked at Zack. "You know this place?"

"Should," he answered, taking a steadying inhale. "Was here for a long time."

Behind him, he heard Aerith catch her breath. Realization catching her. "Oh...Zack..." He heard the tears, but didn't turn. Couldn't face them.

"Hojo ran the show," Zack continued. "This was his lab. Up until about a year ago. Then he stopped showing up. Left his lackeys in charge." Zack wished he could have said things got easier then, but the lab assistants were always so eager to please and impress Hojo that they ran him and Cloud through test after test.

Zack never did figure out what the hell they were looking for. What result was so godsdamn elusive and important. Maybe he'd learn it now.

He was surprised how much that thought terrified him.

AN: Short update, but I wanted to space out the lab chapters. Too much gut-punching horror and angst can be a bit much. Even for me. :P More coming up, including the ever enigmatic Vincent and Sephiroth. THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOO MUCH for still reading this story, after nearly 40 chapters! O.o You guys are the best readers in the world!