Part 13
As he lay staring at the ceiling, Bucky couldn't help but smile as he heard the gentle tapping of the raindrops against the bedroom window. Turning his head, he looked on at the water slowly trickling down the glass as it instantly enveloped him with a sense of calm and peace within. Finally with his family around him, Bucky Barnes could at last be himself and now have a new purpose in his life. He'd spent so many years trying to find himself, discover who he truly was and see where he fit in the world. Yet at this moment in time and at long last, all that he needed from life was under one roof. After so many years of heartbreak, pain and hurt he could honestly say since his return he was truly happy. Just being around them all lit up his soul, giving him a deep serenity he never knew was possible. Just one smile from his beautiful Rebecca, hearing his son laugh or hearing Brogan call him by his full name created a warmth deep in his soul. A warmth filled with love and joy. He was home and was ready to welcome this warmth with open arms after all the pain he'd endured of his past. He was determined to embrace them all in his heart and was ready to take on where this new journey with his family would take him...
Quickly slipping on a shirt, Bucky soon heard the front door slam hard and the room shake. Confused, he knew Rebecca was already in the barn so quickly he raced to the window to see who it was making such a racket. Pulling back the lace curtain, a warm proud smile filled his lips at the small figure in a black Mac rushing over to the pen that homed the family goat "coco". The goat was obviously distressed and after several attempts the figure managed to scoop the goat in his arms and quickly raced for the sanctuary of the barn opposite. After several minutes bucky watched on as the figure soon left the barn and headed back home through the front door, once again slamming the door behind them. Heading down stairs he smiled on as James took off the damp coat, sat on a nearby chair and began to remove his boots.
"looks pretty bad out there Son" whispered Buck softly, watching on as the boy draped his coat over the chair "not too damp are you!?"
James had been in Bucky's life since he was 4 years old now. With the boy now on the verge of turning 12, the youngster was growing up at a speedily rate. As the boy shook his damp locks from the rain, James couldn't look more different from the tiny 4 year old that Bucky discovered terrified under a table in the Captain America wing at the Smithsonian all those years ago. Yes James was growing up but the love and bond he shared with Bucky would never change. Bucky was still the only true father figure he'd known in his life. In James's eyes now, Bucky Barnes was his Papa and nothing would change that in then youngsters eyes...
James had been through so much. Yet for Bucky, it was truly a beautiful thing to watch his well loved son grow into one of integrity and strength. To see him spread his wings, do the right thing by those in his life and strive to make the world a better place. Exactly all that he had done since Bucky's passing in the snap. Seeing the boy stand in front of him right now it was like the forced separation meant nothing... For Bucky, James truly was a blessing to not just the family but to him also
"oh hey Papa. You're awake" forgetting how damp from the rain he was, James threw himself at his papa and pulled him close into a tight crushing hug. Bucky didn't care how wet he was either from the boys hug and gently kissed the top of his head "Yes Coco gets scared easily when it rains so I always pop her in the barn. Rebecca said she will keep an eye on her inside as she practices. Rebecca said it should stop in about 15 minutes anyhow"
"you have taken such good care of Coco since I've been gone Son" slowly he reached toward and tucked a lock of the Boys hair behind his ear "Im really proud of you...proud beyond words"
"well you made me man of the house right?. And that was some pretty big shoes to fill...I missed you Papa.. We all did" forcing out a smile, James reached for Bucky's arm and gave it a reassuring squeeze "we are a family again at last"
"I know...but" Bucky let out a deep painful sigh as the two headed to the kitchen. James immediately poured himself out some cereal while Bucky began to make himself a coffee "im just so sorry I left you guys in the first place. If only I knew how long it would be before I could come home. But I'm here now and I give you my word that I'll never leave you guys again. I give you my word son that I will be with you always... And forever.. I love you"
"Oh Papa...I love you too" the boys lip began to tremble as his eyes welled with glistening tears of joy "you are the only father figure I've truly known. I'll always be grateful to Mama for taking me to the museum for my birthday that day. I will look up to you forever..." quickly the boy raced over to Bucky and clung his arms tight round his waist. After several seconds in the tender embrace, James looked up at his father and smiled "you are the reason why I've grown out my hair like this...yes the bad men made you do some bad things in the past but I couldn't ask for a better Papa in my life than you..."
"James...I"
"No Papa, let me finish...you are my hero. My hero till the end of the line " he winked cheekily "i don't care about what the bad men made you do all those years ago...yes the medicine has made Rebecca different but she's happy. Just like we all are...you Papa are the link to us all...we are a family now and not even the bad men or the magic medicine in you and Rebecca will change that..."
"you better believe it..." Smiled Bucky sipping his coffee and kissing the boy on the forehead "So...you grew your hair out to be like me then? "
"Yes I did. Mama was really sad when we lost you. The only time I ever saw her smile was when she was around you. It broke me seeing her so sad like that...I was scared and worried bout her" Feeling guilty Bucky looked sadly down at his feet and sighed "So I thought that if I grew my hair like you she might be Happy again. It would be like you was still with us all. Obviously I can't grow a beard like yours but hey I had your hair at least" laughed James running his hand through his long locks. He'd inherited his mothers curls and his hair was now just under his shoulders. He truly did look like a mini version of his stepfather "I am thinking of getting it cut though now you're back"
"why? It suits you" teased Bucky "I can tell you this though from experience the upkeep isn't easy " he laughed running his metallic hand through his locks "before I was reunited with you guys in Wakanda and before this arm I used to let the kids in the village put it up for me...I've never told anyone this but they put flowers in it once. I couldn't help but laugh when I caught sight of myself in the mirror ...the feared Winter Soldier letting little kids play with his hair"
"well you wasn't the Winter Soldier then... You was James Buchanan Barnes. My namesake and more importantly my Papa" James cried defiantly and proud "I think I might still get it cut though...I mean new start...new beginning and that"
"new start?"
"yes. Well cutting it off symbolises a new start.. New path and new journey for this family. Starting a new story and a new life" Bucky sat stunned at the maturity in the youngsters words. "seeing that hair fall away is like saying goodbye to the past once and for all. All the bad you've gone through falling away. You feel good, happy and ready for the future. That's what I want. My family is complete again... And cutting my hair shows a new chapter is beginning for us all"
"Wow...James you have given me a lot to think about" Said Bucky, the cogs in his head turning as an idea entered his head. James was totally right. Maybe he should do the same. He wanted a symbol of him finally getting his happy ending and maybe just as James said, cutting his hair was that symbol "I've said it before and I'll say it again... You James Markson-Barnes truly are an old soul. You're right and yes it is a perfect symbol of a new beginning... I'll make a deal with you... I'll cut my hair as well...what you think?" James's jaw literally fell open at Bucky's proclamation "not right now but I'll cut my hair too. When I finally feel I'm getting my happy ending I'll cut it...I still need to try and find myself but cutting my hair will be a start and I can be the man I was once again... So do we have a deal?" Bucky's lips curled into a small smirk as he held out his hand to the boy "well?"
"Wow. You're really going to cut your hair? I've only ever seen you with long hair. Be so strange seeing it short on you" Gasped James. Staring at Bucky's hair "Mama and uncle Steve showed me pictures of you with short hair from the war.. You will look so different..."
"I think it needs to happen though son at some point. I need to finally say goodbye to my past once and for all. I need to close the door on all I did when I was The winter soldier and at long last be me...be James Buchanan Barnes. I need to embrace everything I have now.. You. Your mother and Rebecca...my family..." smiled Bucky proudly "It will happen when the moment is right but I'll know when in here" he smiled and pointed to his heart ". I can finally be me again... Loving father and devoted husband... So..Do we have a deal? You cut your hair and I'll cut mine..."
"yes Papa...yes we do"
"good... That's settled it...well its stopped raining now.. Right on cue just as your sister predicted" he laughed, ruffling the boys hair "why you go check on Coco... I just gotta make a quick phone call and I'll give you a hand" Bucky smiled and watched as James ran excitedly out the door. Alone, he soon reached for the phone on a dresser and reached in his pocket, pulling out a small yellow post it. He punched in the numbers and pressed the receiver to his ear. After several seconds a voice could be heard on the other end "Hey its just me...yeah its all good here, Brogans out so its me and the kids...listen I need to ask you a favour... No no nothing like that I swear...can you just watch the kids for a couple of hours... Please I want to see Brogan...Please? They are good kids and won't give you any troubles I swear... What do you mean they have winter soldier DNA in them so im lying..they are great kids... Please two hours tops...thank you... I owe you one...Thanks Sam"