Kalluto's Unreality:

Where abandonment forces a lonesome, neglected Zoldyck to find solace. Maybe even with those he would never expect.

(Potential eventual ship with the Phantom Troupe.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter x Hunter.

Today was the day that Killua was returning home!

Kalluto had been yearning for his return for what seemed like years. After having stormed out and injuring mother, Killua had practically denounced their family name by abandoning them for the Hunter exam. Mother had cried, and cried, and so had Kalluto. After all, Killua was their future. What would they do without him?

"Illumi said that he should be arriving any time now! Kalluto, have you not even prepared his meal yet?", yelled Mother frantically, grabbing Kalluto by the shoulders and shaking him.

Kalluto had always prepared Killua's favourite dishes for him as a way of winning his affection. Ever since they were children it was his way of sharing a bond with his older brother. "It's been cooked and covered to keep warm Mother," replied Kalluto with a veil of coolness that poorly hid his excitement.

With his Mother wreaking havoc upon their household, Kalluto retreated to his room. He wondered how he looked, and within seconds found himself staring earnestly into the mirror. His purple eyes bore into that of a stranger's who stared back with nothing but a void of emotions. The delicate girl in the mirror was wrapped carefully in a strikingly blue kimono that had been dug out of a sacred part of Kalluto's closet. The light shade of the garment contrasted softly against the darkness of her hair. But that girl was in fact Kalluto, and he couldn't help his lips tugging slightly upwards in celebration of how presentable he looked. Combing through his hair with his fingers, he forcibly hid his smile under the acceptable blankness that inhabited his face as per usual.

Soon (or perhaps many hours later, not that he could tell), a familiar voice reached him and immediately snapped him out of the trance he was in. Within seconds, Kalluto was excitedly rushing downstairs in somewhat of a frenzy, and there he was, maliciously staring at Mother. Killua was finally back home to be a family! A slight blush rose to Kalluto's pale cheeks, but he maintained an air of nonchalance. "Welcome back, big brother," Kalluto spoke up, diffusing the air of tension unbeknownst to him. "How does my kimono look?"

But his greeting was blatantly disregarded as Killua scoffed and walked past their Mother, who hysterically followed. Milluki, who until now was standing in the corner of the room unseen by Kalluto, began to laugh uncontrollably. "Welcome back, big brother," he imitated between cackles. "When was the last time Kil even talked to you?"

Clenching his fists, he held back a reply. Surely it was an accident, and he certainly was not going to lose his composure over it because they were just about to enjoy a fresh meal together. He had kept three portions- one for Mother, one for Killua, and one for himself. Pleased with himself, he speedily caught up with both of them. Although he was relieved with his precious brother's return, Kalluto sensed that something was terribly wrong; the monotony in Killua's words was ill-suited to him, and he stared at his surroundings with a distinct sense of aloofness. It seemed that this change had not yet been realized by Mother, who continued to incessantly ramble about a mixture of punishment and love.

"I knew you would come back! I told Silva that his strange ideas about your upbringing just weren't right! I know my Kil, and I just knew that your true nature had been awakened," she began to rant, smiling as widely as Kalluto had ever seen her. "Now obviously, there will have to be some punishment but don't worry about that! It'll be over before you know it! Oh, am I rambling? Never mind that sit down Kil, Kalluto made your favourite dish. Let's enjoy it!"

At the table she had arranged for a meal for two- herself and Killua. Although Kalluto distinctly recalled setting up three dishes and sets of utensils, now there were only enough for Mother and his older Brother. He didn't mind though. He was perfectly satisfied standing vigilantly over his Mother's side as he so often did.

Without so much as a word uttered Killua took his seat. He bit into the carefully made roll, and for the first time since he had arrived, Kalluto saw emotion flash in his eyes- disgust. Before he knew it, his precious brother had violently spit out the food that had barely even touched his lips a mere second ago. "Even the food here reminds me of how disgusting it is here," he spoke, his voice so light it was barely a whisper. Then, he began to speak louder, staring directly into their eyes. "Both of you, hell this entire family disgusts me! Fuck this food. I'd much rather take your worst punishment than this shit."

A state of speechlessness immediately consumed both Mother and Kalluto. Mother seemed hurt, and once again, similar to when Killua had stabbed her recently, she began to sob, crying of how he had to be punished and how he had to live upto their family name. Then, as if struck by a sudden thought she turned sharply to face Kalluto. It was clear that this was all his fault. If only he had made the dish exactly how Killua had wanted, then this never would have happened in the first place.

"Repent."

With this one word Kalluto was left alone in the company of his culinary creation and his daunting thoughts. Tears welled up in his eyes as he grabbed the roll Killua had dropped on the floor and took a bite out of it. It tasted exactly how it always had.

The tightness in his chest was unfamiliar, but frightening. It was as if he couldn't breathe anymore. Before anybody could see his current state, he retreated to his room. Panting heavily, he gazed into the mirror once more. The dazzling blue of his kimono mocked him, and he tore it off himself, shakily replacing it with the black one that usually adorned him. He wondered how hopeless he was that in Killua's brief absence he had deluded himself with a bond that had never existed in the first place. While Killua was gone it was easy for Kalluto to convince himself that the feminine appearance that he laced himself with would invoke the same affection from him as Alluka did. But reality isn't always so easily deceived.

Well, all that mattered was that Killua was back home, and that nobody could take him away now.

I wouldn't be so sure of that if I was him. ;)

Apologies for the rough writing style. This was the result of a random thought I had, and a weird obsession with Kalluto. It may seem to be heavy and boring now, but I promise if you stick around it'll (hopefully) be worth it.

Let me know what you guys think about this chapter, as well as any ideas about where this can go.

Until next time!