Part 14
"Hey Sam, Thanks again for this... Like I say they are both good kids"
"well let's just hope they take after their Mom rather than you dude" teased Sam, the banter between them both stronger than ever since the man had returned "Its cool man but I'm warning you if that kid of yours goes all Winter Soldier on my ass then you might have to come home sooner.. Bad enough dealing with you but i don't think I could deal with a kid version of you"
"Very funny...good job I know you're joking.. You know she's a good kid despite of what I've done to her" smiled Bucky "Seriously though... Thanks again...I appreciate you watching them both"
"listen man its no problem... Now get the hell out of here before this shit gets to mushy and I'll throw up"
Daniel sat with his head in in his hands, his face closed in a grimace with his skin pale and clammy. It was plain to see that this was a guy in deep raw emotional pain. A pain filled with no end and no limit. The weight of the world firmly on his shoulders, a struggling broken man full of hurt. Every now and then he would look up and catch Brogan's gaze beside him. He should be the happiest man in the world right now but he just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that his fiancé had returned home after 5 long years. Since she came back, he tried time and time again to make a go of things with her and try to recapture what they had but right now he was struggling. His soul full of pain and heart a mix of confusion and tears. He felt guilty for thinking it but part of him wished she'd never come back. It was a selfish want but Daniel needed this mass of confusion and pain out of his head once and for all. His only hope now was reaching out to someone like Brogan...he needed help and hoped she would give it to him..
This was the very first support group meeting since those had returned from the snap. A majority of those effected were grateful their loved ones had returned yet there was still a few like Daniel who had moved on with their lives and gotten used to life without them. Folks like these still turned to Brogan for support. She was their listening ear, the one person who would envelope them in kindness and deeply reassuring words. Right now, Daniel and those fellow strugglers needed that more than ever...
"Daniel, its OK. We are all here to listen. We won't judge you on anything I promise you" tenderly Brogan reached over for the obviously distressed mans arm and squeezed "you are not alone in how you feel trust me...you'll feel better talking about it...we are all here to listen"
"I know... I know...I thought everything would be back to normal with her returning but isn't. Every time she reaches for me I just freeze and can't handle it. I dreamed of holding her close for so long but now I finally can I just can't do it" the distraught man began to weep openly, running a trembling hand through his hair "its nothing she's done...I guess I've grieved already for her. I can't handle being around her. Its so weird cause 5 years ago we was in love and planning our wedding but its like that person back then isn't the one here now. Does that make me a bad person?"
"listen to me, you are not a bad person. Deep down you're a good man" Brogan Whispered squeezing his arm "five years is a long time and people change. I know I have but it needed to happen. I lost my soulmate, the love of my life and I didn't want to live without him in it..."
"but you've welcomed him back now. ..I haven't..." sobbed Daniel, his face red as the tears flew from his cheeks "Im scared I can't give her what she wants now...too much time has gone by...I feel I can't go back to how things were...I hate myself for feeling like this"
"yes, Bucky is back in my life but trust me it hasn't been easy. I thought I'd never see him again when he was taken. Part of me died when he passed..." said Brogan, nervously biting her bottom lip "but he's back now and this is my chance of embracing happiness for a second time. That's how you need to look at it. A second chance but you need to look to your heart and be honest with her"
"It will kill her if I tell her I don't want to be with her any more but I don't even know if that's what I actually want"
"You're the only person that can make that choice but if you're honest with her.. She will respect you more" Brogan continued softly "you need to look at it from her point of view... Losing time with the one she loves and trying to find her place in this new society... Answer me this... do you love her? "
"yes I do...she will always be part of me"
"Then treat this as a fresh start. Get to know her again. Take her to all the places that you loved...the love you have for her is still there Daniel and it just needs to be bought out" the woman smiled "look at everyone here...you're not alone Daniel but I'd still look at it from your fiancé's point of view. All those people returning are out there trying to catch up on all that they'd missed. Its not easy for her...Bucky too...out there trying to find their way. We've been given a second chance Daniel...something not many people get in life ..embrace it" Looking up, Brogan's gaze soon became fixed on an all to familiar figure looking in the glass door opposite. As the figure opened the door and entered the room, Brogan smiled when she saw that it was actually Bucky. Her eyes fixed on his as he soon crossed to the circle of people and pulled up a chair next to her. Her smile was full of love and pride "embrace the second chance of happiness and you'll experience a joy like no other... I know I did" Bucky eyes drew wide full of love for his wife and soulmate "and I'm never letting him go again "
Adrenaline soon began to flood Bucky's body, pumping and beating throughout his core almost as of it was trying to escape. With the entire room staring at him, he knew instantly every single one of them knew who he was but still his gaze was locked on to Brogan's. Catching her smile reassuring him deeply, despite his body wanting to run away. Seeing those beautiful emerald eyes he adored locked on his once more and making the anxiety melt away just as she always did. He looked to her for reassurances just as much as those attending the group now did
"She's right on everything... " said Bucky. Soon feeling at ease that he removed his gloves and revealing his metallic hand to the gasps of several people close by. Trying to block it out, he ran hand through his hair "As someone returning from the snap I can tell you all it's not easy returning after so long. I've missed so much of my life with my family and nothing will ease that guilt within me. Yet right now I've been blessed with a second chance...almost like the slate had been clean at long last for me"
'oh my god...I know who you are" gasped a woman at the rear of the circle. Her eyes falling to the gold veins in his arm "You're Bucky Barnes right? I read about what happened to you!"
"yes I am and Thank you for calling me by my real name" Bucky Smiled warmly "been a long time coming since a member of the public called me that... I needed to come here tonight to let you all know that with this amazing beautiful Woman at your side, you can get through anything... Even this... I for one should know. Despite my past and the snap, She never gave up on me. I can count on one hand the number of people that saw me for who I really was and not what I was. She was the only one to never judge me and only ever saw me as one thing...her hero. Not the winter soldier... Just me...James Buchanan Barnes."
'oh Bucky... " Brogan cried, feeling her eyes well with tears "I..."
"let me finish...these people need to know" he smiled "yes its not been easy adjusting but when you connect with that special someone on so many levels that bond and connection is enough to give you the reassurance you need. With everything Brogan and I have had thrown at us, I feel this has made us stronger than ever. I may have been gone for 5 long years but that love and connection we shared never died. It was in the heart of my wife and the smiles of my children for every second I was while I was away. I feel lucky to have been giving this second chance " from the heart Bucky continued "im determined now I'm back to put my past behind me and search for my haply ending. I wouldn't have been able to if it wasn't for you Brogan. Every single one of you will get yours too...this is your second chance. Don't waste it..not many people out there get that opportunity... I never thought I would but I did... "
"you definitely talk a lot of sense for a 100 year old man " the woman who recognized Bucky laughed "Mr Barnes...I hope this is OK but can I ask you something please? Might help me understand what my husband is going through now he's back... What was it like when you...you know"
"You want to know what it felt like to be one of the dusted don't you?" Bucky let out a deep and caught Brogans gaze once again "I was one of the first to go after it happened on the battlefield... All I can really remember from that moment was a deathly silence followed by a feeling of light-headedness when I looked down at my arm. I called out to Steve and then that was it...no pain But just darkness surrounding me. I don't want to dwell on it too much now. That was the past and I'm home. Determined to not miss another moment with my family... My focus is now... Just as it should be for all of you"
"you are a very lucky man Mr Barnes" said Daniel, watching on as Bucky took Brogan's hand in his and kissed her palm "I hope that my fiancée and I have even a portion of what you guys have. You are truly lucky to have someone as amazing as her in your life and you're right...this is a second chance... Not just for me but for everyone in this circle... We all deserve a happy ending and are worthy.."
"I've been telling myself that everyday since I've come back...I have a beautiful wife and 2 incredible children...I'm so grateful" Brogan softly squeezed Bucky's hand "life hasn't been the greatest to me but right now I'm happier than I've ever been.. The world may of indeed changed but what I feel for you Brogan hasn't...just as yours hasn't for your fiancée and you" he continued "and call me Bucky by the way"
For the next half an hour or so, Bucky almost seemed to take the lead in the support group. He sat with the entire circle hanging onto his every word. Yes the memories of the past were still hazy but he shared stories of his time in the howling commandos with Steve to the more recent ones like how he and the avengers in the "Battle of Wakanda". He even told them about his deal with James about cutting his hair when the time was right, which after hearing his reasoning and symbolism behind it just made Brogan love him even more. Sitting their hearing him answer questions from the group and give them advice, really left so much for Brogan to admire in her love. Yet it was his raw honesty that was the best part. In those words was a wonderful compassion, an awareness of the vulnerability of others. It takes a great spirit to come through so much and become the good person they are today. So sitting there hearing him speak like this not only filled her heart with not only love but immense pride. She knew he would still be anxious about what people would think of him but even they could admire his strength and courage...
With the session now wrapped up and with Bucky saying a final goodbye to all the attendees, it was soon time to head back home. The two hand in hand soon exited the hall and began to cross the carpark to the family car close by. Brogan took his hand in hers, letting the warmth and softness of her own let him know instantly how much she loved him. Squeezing his hand that bit more tighter made her be even more grateful to Steve and the rest of the avengers for bringing him home...home to their beautiful family...
"Nice surprise you coming here... You don't know how much it meant to not just me but them all. You gave them hope" she smiled reaching for his face "im so proud of you" Brogan leant in with her forehead resting against his. Her breath shaking "Thank you"
"For what?" Bucky was slightly confused, his voice husky "why?"
"for just being you..."
Her voice wavered before she gently leaned in and kissed Bucky's warm lips. Unable to control themselves anymore, Bucky quickly held her head in his hands and pulled her close into a fiery passionate kiss. Her hands instantly working around body, slipping her hand under his jacket and gently stroking his back through the think layer of his T-shirt. Soon, she felt her back press against the door of the car. After one more kiss Bucky pulled apart. The two staring at each other, deep into one another's eyes. Bucky's full of wonder and love, while Brogan's full of passion and pride
"Bucky..." With her still pressed up against the car, Bucky soon moved to her neck. Softly kissing up and down as Brogan clung onto his hair, pulling him closer "Marry me..." she let out a little whimper of anticipation that despite being in the throws of passion he heard her request "Marry me...please Bucky"
"What did you say?" stunned he looked back into her eyes and saw she was deadly serious "Did you say marry you? Brogan we're already married" greeting her with a loving smile, Bucky tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear "I don't understand"
"hearing what you said in there about your deal with James about cutting your hair to symbolise a new beginning... What better way of embracing a fresh start than getting married again" her hand rest below his ear as her thumb stroked his heavily bearded cheek, their breaths mingling. Her other hand tracing his spine, pulling him close until there was no space between them. She could instantly feel the beating of his heart against her chest "well...will you marry me again James Buchanan Barnes? How bout it?"
Before she could say another word, Bucky slammed his lips into hers and nearly knocked the air from her lungs. The swirls of emotion running through him made her gasp. He crushed his lips against hers once again and Brogan instantly felt like she was walking on air. It was magic. His mouth was so warm, the caress of his lips softer than she ever imagined
"does that give you my answer?" smiled Bucky, looking at the tear stained face of his love. For at that moment time almost stopped for them both. That moment was just about the two of them being together at last. Just as it should always be "yes...yes I'll marry you again Mrs Barnes"
Brogan's arms reached up and tangled around his thick strong neck. Bucky slipped his hands around her waist and gently lifted her off her feet as they kissed once again for the final time. Ready to embrace the happy ending they both deserved