Part 15

It was little after 8pm when Bucky and Brogan arrived back at home after going out for dinner once they left the support group. By the time they pulled into the drive, nightime had fallen and enveloped the house in a blanket of darkness. Taking Bucky's hand, the two headed along the stone steps that led to the huge oak door of the Barnes family home. The fallen leaves from the trees either side of the house littered the walkway, bathing it and them both in a dark red and orange glow. As they stepped on each leaf with a satisfying crunch, the porch light was still on and that familiar yellow glow made the house feel warm and inviting. It may of looked like an ordinary house like no other but to Bucky it was his own personal sanctuary, it was his salvation and more apparent now his world...

With Brogan at the door talking to Sam and him filling her in on how he had managed to cope babysitting the children of a super soldier, Bucky's eyes soon fell on to a small oak dressed by the telephone. By the phone was a small notepad that clearly must have been scrawled on in Sam's hand. On it bore the words "Tony funeral...330pm Thursday.. Call Steve asap". Picking up the note, the intense nausea swirled unrestrained to Bucky's stomach. Tony had made the ultimate sacrifice so everyone could live but with this now sudden realisation his funeral was on the horizon, Bucky's head was a swirl of half formed regrets and hurt. Regrets that he never fully got to apologise for the deaths of Tony's parents at his hand. Yes HYDRA had control of his mind but at the end of the day he indeed killed them in cold blood and the guilt of his actions would stay with him forever. Staring at that note, his mind cast back to that moment he saw the CCTV footage of him killing the Starks when he and Steve were in Siberia. Instantly he wanted to scrub the grainy images from his mind. Even after all this time it still cut just as deep as it did back then. The visits of guilt and self loathing had become less frequent once Brogan had entered his life but at the end of the day it would be with him always.

Since the fateful day at the Smithsonian when Brogan first entered his life, Bucky tried to remind himself daily that although he couldn't undo his misdeeds while under his winter Soldier guise, she had changed his life forever and was more determined than ever to at last walk on the right path. He was a father now as well as a husband. He had a new purpose and new future ahead of him now. His priorities had changed and although he could never forgive himself for his past, in the eyes of his wife and children the slate had been wiped clean. Yet with Tony's funeral on the horizon, the shadows of Bucky Barnes past were rearing its ugly head once more...

"Thanks again for watching them tonight Sam, I really appreciate it" Brogan pulled him close into a deep hug before kissing his cheek "I hope they didn't give you too much grief. Sorry we was so long but Bucky took me to dinner. Can't wait to tell them our news in the morning"

"Hey its nothing.. They took themselves off to bed after we had pizza" Sam smiled. He looked in the distance and could see a pale Bucky Barnes still staring aimlessly at the note from Steve. From his days of running his own support groups for veterans, he knew instantly this man was troubled "news? You've both already bought a superhuman kid into the world not having another one are you?" he winked suggestively at Brogan "Im teasing...you know when we both got dusted there was a time I honestly thought he wasn't gonna make it. In the early days, he told me that if he didn't have you then he'd sooner be better off dead... But somehow I managed to pull him back. I reminded him of the one thing that was worth waiting for and the one thing that should motivate him to be strong until that moment we'd all return...that was you" Sam gently reached for her arm "you was all he thought about when we was trapped...you was the reason he refused to be broken in there so whatever your news is tell your kids first and not to me. That's all part of being a family...and you have a beautiful one of that"

"Thank you and I will..."

"Don't mention it...despite of what he did in the past, he's a good man but those shadows will always be with him. He's gonna need you more than ever" the man continued while still looking at Bucky who was still staring at the floor. Catching his gaze, Bucky smiled his own goodbye and headed to the lounge "tell him I'll be in touch... "

Slightly confused and growing concerned that something was wrong, Brogan quickly followed Bucky into the lounge and watched on as he began to hurl several logs into the fireplace. Finding a match, the fire soon became a tiny sun for the evening with it already casting long shadows on the rug as Bucky moved to sit on the sofa. Running his hands through his hair, Bucky couldn't help but stare intently at the flames in front of him. The flames grew hypnotic as they curled, flickered and swayed crackling over the dry wood. Seeing him lean back letting out a deep sigh, Brogan knew instantly something wasn't right with him. Saying nothing, she moved to the sofa and curled up next to him. She rest her head on his chest before reaching for his arm and draping it over her back. Both feeling the warmth of the fire instantly as they cuddled up together. For Brogan, his cuddles were the only antidote she needed in this world. When he "passed" she wasn't afraid to admit that he had taken part of her soul with him. For the last several years she had felt a broken shell of the person she once was. Curled up tight right now, she never wanted to let him go and never leave their family again. As they both sat staring at the flames they both felt the forced separation they had endured was now melting away. With his chest rising with her head, their breaths almost in unison. just as it should always be. With him home it was the two of them against the world yet she knew something was on his mind tonight..

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong or am I going to have to force it out of you then Bucky?" smiled Brogan gently tracing circle like movements through his T-shirt. Bucky started to laugh. She totally knew him like a book "you've barely said two words since we got home.. So what is it?"

"Its just that...the thing is. Tony Stark's funeral is next week" he let out a deep sigh and kissed the top of Brogan's head. Slowly running his metallic hand up her arm "It just opened some old wounds that's all...I can't exactly go after what I did to him when he was alive...Steve went on the run from the government because of me"

"listen... " sitting up, Brogan reached for his face. He was currently looking ashamedly at the floor. She reached for his chin and forced him to look up at her. Met with that beautiful gaze he adored, Bucky forced out a smile "Bucky this man gave his life so people would live. Its because of him that you, Sam and so many others have been given a second chance with their families. For that people like me owe Tony everything. You need to be there. This is a chance for everyone to give him thanks for making that ultimate sacrifice for us all.. "

"how can I face his kid knowing its because of me that she has no grandparents in her life? I'm never going to forget what I did am I?" his heart was heavy as that guilt was still there and more raw than ever "I don't deserve to be there. I mean he never forgot what I did. I won't be welcome.."

"Just stop.." feeling his pain she took the distraught mans head in her hands "you didn't know what you was doing back then. That wasn't you on that grainy CCTV. That wasn't the man I fell in love with, that wasn't the man I'm proud to call my husband and father to my children. We all have our pasts Bucky.. Even Tony did... Hell look at mine. It will always be part of the people were are but all that matters is what we have now" she reached toward and moved a lock of his hair behind his ear, smiling lovingly "yes you fort against him but at that final battle you was at his side. He wanted you there and the greatest show of respect you can give him is being there for his final goodbye"

"how will everyone react when I'm there?"

"Bucky its everyone's chance to say goodbye to Tony. At last you can close that door on the past and focus on now...going to that funeral shows that you have found where you belong...you won't be going as The Winter Soldier.. You'll be there as James Buchanan Barnes. You won't go through this alone either.. I need to give thanks to Tony too Bucky...he bought you back to me...I owe him everything"

Before she could say another word, Bucky pressed his tongue into the seam of lips and entwined with hers in a deep passionate kiss. Unexpectedly his hands drifted to her hips as he urged her to sit on his lap. He kissed her once more and the world around both of them fell away. Brogan inhaled sharply as Bucky's breathing quickened just as hers did. He pulled her down close, nuzzling on her neck with delicate soft kisses before pulling the vest top she wore from the back of her jeans. Brogan's body trembled as he traced her spine with the cold metal of his fingers before slipping into her underwear and kneading at her rear. Taking his lead, she quickly sat back and slipped the vest over her head before hurling it to the floor. She kissed him hard and tugged at his T-shirt before slipping it over his head too. Brogan hurled the shirt to one side and soon began to cover his toned muscular torso in soft sweet kisses. Her heart fluttered inside her chest as she soon felt his arms encircle her back and literally ripped the latch from her bra clean from her body...

The kisses soon grew in passion and intensity with Bucky's brain lit with a deep fire and warmth from within as her body pressed against his. He needed her now and was addicted to everything about her. Her tender kisses were his salvation too and he knew how lucky he was to have someone as special as her in his life. If he didn't have her, he would be a broken man once more. Brogan was the half that made him whole...

"Are you sure about this Bucky?" Bucky's mouth was so warm on her neck, the caresses of his lips were soft as he literally took her breath away. He couldn't get enough of her and loved hearing her moan as she writhed on top of him "I need you to say it Bucky.. Say it please so I'm not dreaming... "

"yes...I want you... I need you..."

Saying nothing, Bucky's eyes grew wide and dilated as Brogan moved off his lap and stood before him, the flames of the fireplace bathing her curves in warm glow. Giving him a smile she reached down, pushed down her jeans and stepped out of her underwear. Her shadow bathed the walls of the lounge as she stood naked before him. He never tired of seeing her like this. For several minutes his eyes scanned her body, studying every curve... Every inch of her. For him she was perfect. Quickly he removed his jeans and boxers but still sat on the sofa, his eyes fixed on her body...she was his and his alone...

"God you're beautiful " he whispered focusing on her already erect nipples "so beautiful... "

Watching on, Bucky smiled as she edged closer and sat back on his lap. Her legs splayed either side of his thighs. The feeling of her soft naked skin pressed against this instantly made him Hard and his heart full of desire. Brogan leant towards him and kissed him hard on the lips again before moving to his neck, covering his collar in gentle kisses. Instantly Bucky let out a soft moan as she reached below and was now gripping onto his already painfully hard errection. His hips buckling as her hand moved up and down his shaft. Alternating between slow and fast movements. Flicking her thumb over the head as she glanced down to explore him with the most intimate of touches. She loved hearing him moan her name, hearing him squirm at her touch. She missed him so much.

With her hand still busy, the pairs eyes soon locked on one another. Just one look, one gaze from him already filled her heart with happiness. She felt she was drowning in his lust crazed eyes and she was loving it. Before she could speak, Bucky reached for her breast and began to gently massage her mound with his metallic hand. With his hand busy with one breast, he guided his mouth to the other and softly suckled down on her already erect nipple. He gently grazed it with his teeth before running his tongue over her peak soon switching his mouth to her other breast, giving it the same delicious erotic torture...

"oh Bucky... "

Shifting slightly upwards, she guided his shaft inside slowly into the wetness of her opening. Slowly sinking down on him. With his hands busily cupping her bottom, Brogan's head fell back as she began to rock back and forth on him with deep intensity. She felt him fill her, stretching her in the best way possible and she wanted more. Bucky closed his eyes as she sank deeper on him. He thrust hard into her and the small moans emitting from her lips just drove him on further. Almost there, brogans hands soon gripped tight onto his shoulders as she struggled to balance on him with lust, desire and passion enveloping them both. Bucky moved his hands from her bottom to her hips to hold her in perfect place. This seemed work as Brogan soon started to roll her hips, clenching her inner muscles as Bucky was close to seeing stars. His mouth open, groaning ever so louder by the second as passion took hold. The sofa creaking that bit more slightly with each of the couples thrusts in unison. Using his shoulder as well as the top of the sofa for extra leverage, Brogan leant toward and bit his neck slightly. Soon feeling the tingling sensations in her limbs, ready to let her know her climax was on the horizon...

Gripping his shoulders once again, she clenched down hard on him and soon felt Bucky swell inside her. Within seconds his hips buckled, his body trembled as he came hard filling her core. Brogan squeezed on him one last time as the most tremendous orgasm hit her tiny frame and she instantly collapsed on Bucky's chest. Quickly Bucky held her close in his arms, desperately savouring the afterglow between them both. Breathing together as they both recovered enough to move. Gently he pulled out of her as Brogan moved from his lap and quickly curled up on the sofa next to him. Her head pressed on his naked lap, sweat still glistening over them both as they lay perfectly entwined

"so shall we continue this upstairs then Mr Barnes" Brogan grinned, already running her fingertips over his thighs "I mean from a practical point of view I think we might be more comfortable... Or Is the super soldier serum spent already?"

"Hey, I have enhanced stamina remember?" he smirked, running his hand down her back "one side effect of the serum I don't mind possessing" he laughed "comes in very handy when I want to make love to you.. "

Getting to his feet, he stood before her with the flames of the fire bathing his naked frame. Slowly, he held out his hand and pulled her up to her feet. They kissed again briefly before Bucky picked her up in his arms and carried her up the stairs to the bedroom. He gently placed her on the bed and climbed on top of her. Brushing her curls from her face he pinned her to the bed clasping her hands in his. Almost like he didn't want her to get away...

"I love you Brogan Barnes...always... "