Part 16

As he began to flick through the numerous channels on the TV, Bucky Barnes didn't even know why he was watching it to be honest. Even channel was news report after news report, bringing with it the latest details of the day that Bucky had literally been dreading all week. The funeral of Tony Stark. Each image on the screen showing sobbing children clutching at their Tony Stark indorsed Ironman toys and various people holding up signs and banners bearing the fallen superhero's name. There were multiple signs bearing the words "Thank you Tony" at the daily candlelit vigils at Stark tower, with the mass of flowers being left in remembrance growing every day. Sticking to one channel, the report finally concluded with an intensely protective Happy Hogan attempting to move Tony's wife Pepper and their young daughter Morgan into an awaiting limo. Pepper tried desperately to ignore the awaiting press as she quickly ushered the little girl inside but little Morgan managed to yell "I love you 3000 Daddy" before the limo sped away. This once again left Bucky full of despair.

The entire country was united in grief for the fallen hero. Many of them never feeling such pain and anguish like this before. Every memory of the fallen avenger playing like a song in each and everyone of their ears as they stood united in grief. The world had lost a huge part of its life. The grief the country was feeling surged through every expelled breath of each and every person. The country and not to mention the entire world was in mourning. Mourning the loss of the hero who made the ultimate sacrifice and one that every single person in the world would now be indebted to. Yes indeed life would go on without everyone's favourite millionaire, Playboy, genius and philanthropist but right now the world stood united in grief ready to say a final goodbye to one of earth's mightiest heroes... Anthony Stark...ironman

"Its time to go Bucky..." Turning slowly around Bucky could see Brogan standing in the doorway. She was wearing a simple black dress with matching jacket. Her warm loving smile once again giving all him all the assurance he needed for what he knew was gonna be a difficult day "Steve said he will meet us there... You ready?"

" I honestly don't know if I can go through with this Brogan" he sighed, hurling the remote to the side and gazing sadly at the floor "I don't belong there.."

"listen to me, we've been through this. The world needs to say goodbye to him as do you " she took his hand in hers and reassuringly squeezed it softly "you can do this... You're not alone and you never will be..."

"mama is right" whispered James from behind her "we will be with you every step of the way.. Always"

"A funeral is no place for you guys" forcing out a smile as he playfully ruffled the boys hair "i mean I wasn't expecting you to go son"

"hey you need us" smiled Rebecca, taking his glowing metal hand in hers "we're here for you Papa. That's what families do right? "

"family..." his piercing blue eyes soon began to glow watery with tears. Slowly he raised his linked hand and kissed the little girls palm "I never thought I'd ever be worthy of that word. Yet now I've finally realised how lucky I am...OK..I can do this"

Despite his wealth and lavishness, Pepper had insisted on a small private funeral at a small church not too far from the woodland home they shared with little Morgan. Pepper also decided that Tony's final resting place would be at the Stark family plot that was backed onto a cemetery close by. As Bucky, Brogan and the children stood at the chapel there was so many familiar faces waiting patiently for the party to arrive. Some Bucky recognised like Peter Parker from the huge fight at the Berlin Airport to others he didn't. A large bickering group looked like a mass of space adventures with a raccoon at the front of the pack stood befor him now. Yet Each and every one stood with heads bowed showing respect to the fallen hero. It was a few minutes later when a hearse carrying Tony inside pulled up followed by a long black limo. Surrounding the coffin were the words "Tony" and "Daddy" spelt out in beautiful white roses in full bloom. There too was a smiling portrait of Tony with his trademark sunglasses while one of his ironman helmets had been placed at the top of the coffin.

As the limo soon came to a halt, Happy along with Pepper and Morgan soon emerged from inside.. The newly widower forcing out a smile as she hugged and thanked several of the Avengers close by. Pepper watched on as the coffin was slowly removed from the hearse as several pall bearers took it on their shoulders and made their way inside, closely flanked by Pepper, Morgan and Happy as the remainder of the congregation followed...

"come on Bucky... You can do this. I believe in you" whispered Brogan, already feeling his anxiety rise as she took his hand in hers "I love you Bucky Barnes..."

Taking his hand in her own, Bucky's hand trembled but just as always it was her touch that instantly eased his fears and anxieties from within. Mouthing a silent "thank you" to his wife, Bucky took one last deep breath and slowly led his family inside to an empty pew. Desperately trying to hold it together as Rebecca handed him an order of service. There on the front was a smiling Tony, cuddling his little girl. His face looked so happy, so full of love and joy for the youngster. Something Bucky could instantly relate too now being a father himself. Taking another deep breath, he clung that bit more tighter on Brogan's hand as he caught sight of Tony's coffin resting at the alter. The coffin itself was dark stained oak and perfectly polished. It was plain to see it had been crafted with love for the man the world had grown to adore and would continue to do so even in death. Its faux handles and polished surface had somewhat helped to reduce the trauma of his passing and a level of grief that was unmanageable. There was a heavy mass of tears from the congregation as little Morgan walked up to the coffin and placed by the mask a single red rose...

"love you 3000 Daddy"

After a service that celebrated Tony's life, Pepper and Morgan soon led a procession behind the fallen superhero's coffin through the church ready for it's committal to the Stark family plot. Every single Person struggling to hold back the grief, tears flowing silently yet full of sheer empty numbness as they all walked out behind the oak coffin

"nearly there. Its OK." Said Brogan linking onto Bucky's arm "nearly over..."

Bucky's eyes were locked firmly on Pepper and Morgan now as the little girl blew a kiss to the grave of her father as well as one to those of her Grandparents.. Finally giving into her own pain and grief, Bucky watched on as tears swept down Peppers red cheeks and cleansed them instantly. This was more than just crying, it was the kind of sobbing of someone mourning the loss of their soulmate. She sank to her knees at Tony's graveside, not caring about her dress getting dirty and clung onto her daughter. Her tears mingling with her gasping wails that echoed around the cemetery. Bucky had never seen such intense heartbreak. The pain that flowed from her was as parable as the wind that enveloped them. Instantly Happy Hogan raced over to the grave, struggling to hold his own tears at bay as he helped the distraught Woman to her feet and ushered her into the awaiting car. Rhodey quickly scooping up Morgan and instantly following suit...

"Are you OK Bucky?" Whispered Brogan, linking his arm "Everyone's going to the wake at the house now...you ready to go? "

"yeah but I just want to say something to you first" he cupped her cheek ",I'm so sorry for the pain and hurt you went through when what happened to me did.. Seeing Pepper react like that just broke me. I know I don't really know her and that but the fact you felt like that when I was taken. I'm so sorry I made you feel that wayhisogan. Hope you can forgive me one day"

"Oh Bucky come here..." She instantly slipped her hands round his head and pulled him close. Gently nestling his head in the crux of her collar and stroking his hair softly. Bucky slowly slipped his arms round her waist "listen to me.. Listen to every word I'm going to say Bucky Barnes. They come from my soul...NEVER apologise to me for what you did and who you are" her eyes locked onto his blue piercing own as she held his head in her hands "YOU are the one person I was born to love. You are the one person I trust and the one I know I'm destined to spend the rest of my life with. I see you for who you really are Bucky Barnes...yes you've done a lot of things but every time I look In your eyes I just see the man I love... A man with the strongest spirit and determination like no other..my hero...always

"but?..."

"let me finish. I'm yours for all eternity James Buchanan Barnes. You are and will always be my other half of my heart and my soul. That day at the museum I knew then that my heart would be yours forever" she began to stroke his heavily bearded cheek with her thumb "That's why you never have to apologise to me...No matter what happens I am here to keep your heart safe. Just like I did every day in the five years you was gone. Today has made me realise one thing Bucky. Life is precious and I never want to waste another minute of it with you. All I ask if that from now on you be my strength but let me be your comfort too... That's all I ask of you Bucky Barnes"

"How ever did someone as broken as me find happiness with someone as perfect as you?" he kissed her softly and pressed his lips to hers as Brogan ran her hands over the centre of his chest "you're too good for me...you know that right!?"

"For the winter soldier maybe but not James Barnes" she smiled as Bucky pulled her close "what I feel for you is like no other. You're the reason my life is finally beautiful Bucky... I'm proud to have your name as your wife and be the mother of your child...you've redeemed yourself in everyone's eyes now"

"not everyone's..." he sighed as his eyes fell at the stone gravestones of Maria and Howard Stark "they both would still be here if it wasn't for me"

"Then talk to them. They can hear you I'm certain Bucky.." smiled Brogan, tucking a loose lock of his ponytail behind his ear "When my dad passed away I would always talk to him at his grave. I'd stand there for hours just telling him anything...didn't matter how silly it was. I felt him with me always Bucky...I couldn't hear him but I knew he could hear me. I felt it in my heart and in my soul...talk to them Both Bucky...you'll feel better for telling them how you feel...the kids and I will wait in the car...take as long as you need" reaching towards him, she placed both her hands on his shoulders and kissed his cheek "you're not alone anymore Bucky Barnes...and you never will be again"

Forcing out a smile, Bucky fixed his eyes back to the three graves of the now reunited Starks. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and looked at the date of the elder Starks deaths engraved in the stones. A date that would haunt him for the rest of his life...December 16th 1991. Seeing their names and that date etched on the marble graves bought everything of his past back once more. A tear trickled down his cheek as the memory of the fateful day when on a grainy CCTV he saw his true actions as The winter Soldier once and for all...changing his life as well as several others forever

Guilt washed over him like the long waves of a shallow beach. Each wave hit Bucky hard like an icy cold wind that sent shivers down his spine. Seeing their graves before him, made him wish he could go back and change the past, taking a different path in the process but he knew it was impossible now. There was nothing he could do and no way to make things right. All he could do was live with his actions as guilt and remorse firmly remained etched in his heart...for all eternity

"Even now all these years later guilt haunts me because of what I have done. The guilt is like ice inside me. I thought nothing could melt it away but then she came into my life" Bucky smiled over at Brogan over at the car who was know hugging Rebecca in the front seat. he wiped his eye with his sleeve and took several more deep breaths "its still there inside me but Brogan's warmth has helped me see that I've earned my redemption and can do better. She still loves me regardless. I only hope in due course I can feel like I've earned it... " he bit his lip and gazed at his feet "im so sorry for the past...I wish I could change what happened but I can't. No matter how much it kills me inside. All I can do now is be the best person I can be for my wife... For my children and for the pair of you too...I'm so sorry for everything... Rest in peace Tony... Rest in peace all of you"