A/N: Lol. Y'all, it's been one hecking year. One year since I've done anything with this whole account. Life happens, though, and it's okay, because I'm back now.

TRIGGER WARNING:

IF YOU IGNORE THIS, AND YOU ARE BOTHERED, THAT IS YOUR OWN FAULT. I WARNED YOU ALL.

Please read this before reading the chapter! I go into detail about a panic attack this time. I will try and let you guys know about any scenes that may trigger anybody. Hopefully there won't be many. Now, for this chapter, it may not be as intense, but I just want to be careful. I know everybody experiences things differently, and, to some, this may not induce anything, but, again, I want to be careful. I don't want anyone to relive something they don't want to.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THE AUTHOR'S NOTES IN THE BEGINNING!

Karin was halfway through the distance between the bar and the gates to Seireitei when a nameless Shinigami found her. He said no words as he led her through the buildings straight to an open plaza that reeked of antiseptic. Karin bristled as the biting breeze carried the stench into her nose. The Shinigami noticed no movement coming from behind him and promptly turned around.

"Is something the matter?"

Black hair rippled down Karin's back as she shook her head. "It's nothing, let's go." She waited for the Shinigami to continue before following. He led her into the largest building she had seen so far. Despite it being so late at night (or early in the morning, really), the place was brimming with energy. She could feel the calm and steady hum of reiatsu in the air, but the sight of stark white walls and distant grunts of pain only managed to churn her stomach. Karin mindlessly followed after the Shinigami as her mind inevitably wander back to the days when she was bound to a bed, dying.

Karin rarely thought of her days alive when, now, she had been dead for longer than she had been alive, but the memories were still fresh in her mind. Her anxious gray eyes scanned the empty halls. The walls were bare and the air was cold – there was no stopping the shiver that went down her spine. Her gaze returned to the Shinigami who was now stopped in front of a door. In an instant he was gone. Karin internally hoped that the man wouldn't have left. Hoped that she wouldn't have to face the hospital bed alone, but he was gone.

A shaking hand reached out and attempted to slide the door open, but Karin failed to get a grip on the handle. She stumbled a few more times before she was able to open the door. No more than three steps into the room, and Karin froze. Her blood turned icy and her muscles turned to stone. The young boy anchored to the bed didn't send her into a panic. It was the tubes. It was the breathing mask. It was the stiff white bed.

The world around Karin turned to static. The steady hum of reiatsu now driving her insane. She could make out the sobs of Yuzu and Ichigo yelling. She could hear her dad speak words of comfort, but she was far from comforted. The feeling of the IV being stuck in her arm, the pressure of her own oxygen mask. It was too much. In the distance she could hear the machine flat lining before a gripping pain overtook her chest.

Just as quickly as the sensations came, they were gone. Just like before, her family was gone. Just like before, she was alone. She was no longer alive, but she was still living. The boy in the bed was still living. The boy in the bed. Karin snapped her attention to the young boy. He was still, but he was breathing. That was enough for now. Karin turned around and shut the door before promptly racing out of the building. Unfortunately for her, she hadn't been paying attention on her way in, so it took her quite a while to get out.

Outside, the light of the moon seemed brighter than ever. Its white rays scattered over the stone covered ground radiating a calming air. Karin took a deep breath and willed her heart to stop beating so fast. Her mind settled down as the oxygen rushed into her lungs. She carefully lowered herself down so that she was sitting on the frozen stone steps. Her panic may be disappearing, but her pain was not. Before she knew it, the tears that were pooled in her eyes started to cascade down her face. At this moment in time, there was nothing more she missed than the hugs from her bother, the laughter from her sister, and the comfort from her dad. It had been so long since she had thought about them that the longing for her family had built up. Decades of unreleased sorrow. There was nothing holding back her sobs.

Karin's voice was choked. She remained on the stairs and cried into her arms. Her whole body shook. The last time she had cried this hard was when her mother had died, but that had been when she was a small child. Crying wasn't beyond her, she just felt as if she never had a reason to cry. It would have only hurt those she cared about. Now, she had a reason and she wanted the reason to go away. Karin could vaguely make out the sound of someone walking, but she didn't care. She was hurting.

The footsteps stopped and Karin heard the plopping of someone sitting beside her. A hand gently began rubbing circles on her back. Eventually, Karin found herself breathing to the motion of the hand and her hysteria ebbed away. Her throat was achy and her eyes were dry. She kept her head down, but her cries had stopped.

"I couldn't find you. I waited and searched through three graduating classes. What happened?" A deep yet thin voiced asked.

Karin lifted her head at the somewhat familiar voice. Her eyes grew wide at the man she saw. "Renji!"

"So you remember me."

She was speechless as she straightened her posture. The years hadn't changed him much. His bright red hair was still braided down his neck. His body seemed even more solid than it had been when they first met and, even sitting, he was significantly taller than her. For the first time in a long time, Karin felt small. Not afraid, just small. And the feeling invoked the desire for a hug. She resisted the feeling. "A lot happened. I live in Junrinan now. A ragtag group of kids follow me around. I don't think I can leave them."

Renji raised a sleek red eyebrow. "What? You run an orphanage now?"

"Kinda," Karin gave a dry chuckle.

"Well, there's not much I can say to that. As much I want to get you to join, I understand even more why you don't want to. It's been almost a century since I've lived in Rukongai, can't say I miss it, though. It was hell – but that's besides the point. Wanna tell me why you're having a sob fest outside the infirmary?" Renji inquired.

That one question sent all the air out of Karin's lungs. There were no hiding her emotions this time. She was too tired to struggle anymore, so she spoke the truth. Even after so long, Renji still exuded the kind of energy that she couldn't help but trust. "My little brother was attacked earlier. He was badly hurt and there was a captain there and he brought Jun here."

Renji didn't seemed satisfied with her answer so he tried again. "Okay, but that's in there, not out here. If your brother is hurt, what are you doing out here?"

Karin's next words got caught in her throat. She had been wanting to talk about this for years, but she couldn't find anything in her to actually do it. Weakly, she looked into Renji's eyes. He held only kindness and concern in his gaze. His sharp eyes were soft and she couldn't stop the tears from falling down her face when she blinked. "It's how I died."

The older man said nothing as he wrapped an arm around Karin's shoulders and brought her to his chest. His body was infinitely warmer than her exhausted cold one. The action spurred her to keep going. She pulled away, but kept her hands wrapped around his forearms. She needed to hold something, to know that she was okay. "I was eighteen when I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I was told I had four months left to life. I never made it passed two," Her words were shaky and her voice was forced. Not once did her gaze leave Renji's. She needed to say this so she continued. "I died twenty-three years ago. When I was alive, I never realized how much my family meant to me, and then I died. After we met, I found a dying boy and he gave me a reason to go on, so I gave him one. But he's not my dad, or my brother, or my sister."

Karin was shocked by how easily the words fell out of her mouth. All the feeling she had pent up over the decades just exploded. She felt that she could talk forever, because she hadn't spoken in years, but she wasn't about to bore Renji with her story. The petite girl pulled her gaze away from the man beside her. When she looked away, she realized how much she wasn't paying attention to him. She cast her sights back on him. His face expressed something she couldn't describe. It wasn't pity nor was it understanding. He wasn't judging her for her tears or her story. Karin looked away when he began to speak.

"I could be a douche and tell you that what you went through was nothing compared to me, but I'm not an asshole who likes to compare people's suffering, so I'm not," he said with a grin. "We all have our baggage, though. You did good, kid,"

Before Karin had a chance to process his words, Renji was well on his way. His tall figure disappearing into the night. Oddly, Karin felt better. Her weeping and ranting relieved a weight in her body that she hadn't realized was there. She felt light. She felt alive again. When she returned her attention to her surroundings, Renji was gone and she was left alone to bask in the light of the moon.

Jun made a quick recovery and he was out of the infirmary in no time. After a few talks with a medic, Karin was able to convince them that Jun would be able to make it in Rukongai. Once he was out of Critical Care (which was about a week), the medics gave Karin a kit and Jun received some crutches. The black-haired boy was all smiles as he limped back to Isamu's bar. As the sun was high in the sky when the pair arrived, the bar was closed. Quietly, the two slipped inside not surprised to see Isamu sweeping the floors.

The older man gasped "Ma boy! You're okay!"

"Of course I am, Jiisan!" Jun grinned. His voice was bright and cheery, but his face screamed exhaustion.

Karin sent the young boy to his room, but, of course, he didn't go without a fight. Jun complained that she nagged too much and never let him do anything. Karin let him gripe for a bit because she knew that he would eventually get irritated with her for not playing along and he would go fume for a bit (which was exactly what happened). The young woman pushed all of her hair behind her shoulders before facing Isamu. "We need to talk."

Isamu already knew what was coming as he already had a chair pulled out for her. Karin wasted no time in taking the seat. "What's on your mind, Karin-chan?"

"A lot," she sighed. "I think I'll be leaving soon. Like tomorrow soon."

"Wow, that is soon. What brought this on?"

"I met someone decades ago and he gave me an opportunity that I never took. I met him again the night Jun was taken to the hospital. He still remembers me. While I was in Seireitei, I heard the Shinigami talk about setting up for the Academy Entrance Exam at the end of the month. Testing for the Spring Rotation begins tomorrow and I'm going to do it." Karin spoke with a finality. Her mind was made up. This wasn't something she was going to give up.

"Don't worry about anything back here." Isamu encouraged. "I'll deal with the aftermath of those crying kiddos. When you go take that exam, I want you to give it your all. You don't deserve to spend the rest of your days in a dingy bar."

"Listen here, old man. You know that's not how I feel – "

"You crave adventure," Isamu interrupted. "I saw how quick you were to act on that night. I saw your energy. You shouldn't, no you can't stay here."

Karin cast her gaze to the table. She could no longer look at the man who took such great care of her and all the little kids she brought. He never complained. He seemed happy, something she wasn't. After her talk with Renji, the words she had spoken sunk in. Jun would never replace her family, but she tried to believe that he did. Karin loved the young boy with all her heart, and she would never leave him, even if she got lucky enough to find her family again. She let out a sigh and returned her attention to Isamu. "Registration starts in a few hours."

"Well, you better get to it! Just make sure that once you get into that big and fancy Seireitei, you won't forget about us. I know it's not much, but we all love you, Karin-chan, and this will always be your home." Isamu said.

With a nod of agreement, Karin stood up. "There's a chance that I won't get in. I could be a dud, you never know."

"You'll be fine." Isamu laughed..

The young woman laughed and turned to go tell Jun her new plans, but they boy was standing at the end of the hall with red eyes.

"You'll be back, though, right?" Jun whispered.

Karin walked over him and wrapped her arms around him. "I'll be back."

"Okay."

Later that day, when the sun was high overhead, Karin made her way to the nearest gate that led into Seireitei. She was dressed in her finest yukata. The thick cotton protected her body from the cold. She left her hair down. Her thick black locks trying to blend in with the navy blue of her yukata. She was prepared and determined to do something with this second life, so she had to show everyone her best.

Karin found the Registration Zone easily enough. The amount of souls wanting to make something of themselves was ridiculous. She found the shortest line and placed herself at the end of it. With a swift movement, she had gathered all of her hair over one of her shoulders. It was getting long now, and honestly it was a pain, but Ichigo had once told her that long hair suited her best, and ever since, she's hated the thought of chopping it all off.

Soon enough, Karin found herself at the front of the line where she stood in front of an angry looking woman. She had a stiff bun at the nape of her neck and it seemed as if her jaw was permanently clenched. "Name, please," the woman said.

Karin cleared her throat. Now was not the time for nerves. "Karin Kurosaki."

"Age?"

That question threw Karin for a loop. How old was she? She was eighteen when she died, but technically her soul was twenty-three. Maybe she should just add the two and say that she was forty-one years old.

"Kurosaki, you are holding up the line. How old are you?"

"Twenty-three!" Karin blurted in a panic. The severe woman didn't seem convinced but wrote it down anyways. She wrote a few more things, ripped off a piece of paper and handed it to Karin.

"That's your entry ticket. If you lose it, try again during the next rotation. The exam begins tomorrow at noon." she explained.

Karin nodded before taking the ticket and securely tucking it into her yukata. She was ready to pass this exam and start her journey as a Shinigami. With the rest of her day free, Karin headed back to the bar to catch up on some much needed rest. She had to kick ass tomorrow.

Night and morning had never passed so fast before. It felt like a matter of seconds. Before Karin knew it, her goodbyes were said and she was on her way. Now, she was dressed in one of her usual yukatas. A cotton dyed a deep, dull red with cream trim. It showed some wear and tear, but it was one of her favorites. She made her way over to the Registration Zone with the same confidence she wore out in a soccer field. The closer she got the more people she saw.

The Registration Zone was packed with potential students. Chatter filled the air and it was different from the buzz of the bar on a busy night. The voices she heard were coated with nervous energy and the occasional snicker of arrogance. Karin was aware of the fact that she wasn't the only one here who didn't know anyone, but she was not the type of person to initiate small talk, so to stay busy, she decided to put her hair into a french braid. When she was tying the braid off, a tall girl with striking blonde hair approached her.

"Did you come here alone?" she asked. He pale blue eyes held innocence and fear, but they were determined.

"Yeah, you?" Karin said with her hair tie clasped between her teeth. As usual, her hair was being stubborn.

"I'm alone. I came from District 62, with three others, but, uh, they went back before we even made it halfway. I couldn't go back, so I came alone."

With the braid finally tied off, Karin shifted her attention to the new girl. "What's your name? I'm Karin Kurosaki."

"I'm Hanami Nakahara! But you can call me Hana!" she introduced with a smile so bright it almost blinded Karin.

The two girls conversed for a while before numerous Shinigami came and led them into Seireitei. Karin had learned a lot about her new friend and she could honestly say, that the trust she had for Hana was already strong. Just like Renji, this girl exuded comfort. She was a bit snarky but a little shy, which made for wonderful monologues, and despite looking so gentle, she held a lot of power in her movements. To urge Karin along, Hana had gave the shorter girl's arm a jerk and almost ripped it out of the socket. Hana apologized profusely, but Karin just laughed it off.

Once all of the applicants were settled inside the gates of Seireitei, the Shinigami moved to the front of the crowd. He was old and small in stature. His body was dressed in a pure white shihakusho and a large orange haori draped over his shoulders. "Welcome! I see that many of you have already made friends. It is a shame that many of those friendships will not survive the day." A low mumble spread through the crowd, but the man kept speaking. "When you registered, you received a ticket. You have ten minutes to find the person with the matching ticket."

Nobody moved. The mass of students kept their feet firmly and anxiously planted on the ground. The old man said no more. Karin dug around in her yukata for the ticket she was given yesterday. Printed on the small slip of paper, in block print, was 3395361. The black ink glared at her and she glared back. She was certain that at least two minutes had passed and nobody moved yet, so she did. It started in the balls of her feet and shot through her body like electricity. "3395361! Wherever you are, follow my voice!" She thrust her ticket into the air and waved it around.

It was almost as if a spell was broken. All of the other students started scrambling around and shouting their numbers. As Karin looked around for her mystery partner, she noticed that Hana had managed to disappear into the crowd and she silently wished her good luck. Karin turned her body to look in a different direction when a massive figure crashed into her. She felt her body fall to the ground, but before she could react, Karin was being tossed into the air. When she started her return to the ground, as gravity is apt to do, gigantic hands wrapped around her body and she found herself being held like an infant by a way-too-tall man with curly black hair.

"3395361?" his deep voice echoed in her ears. Karin could only muster a nod. "3395361!" A large, toothy smile spread across his face and Karin couldn't help but find his kind of adorable. He was pretty handsome. His features were proportional and gentle yet sharp. She could clearly see that his body was heavily muscled, but he wasn't grotesquely large. She was thankful that he hadn't crushed her yet.

"Nice to meet you, big guy, but put me down now." Karin laughed. When he placed her on the ground, she barely felt herself land. She really appreciated the gentleness. She vaguely noticed the other students around her because she was floored by the fact that, even when she was standing at full height, she could only look into what would be her partner's ribs. "Actually, pick me back up," she said tapping his arms. The man complied easily enough. "What's your name? I'm Karin Kurosaki."

"Kei Uematsu is my name!" he said still smiling. They were silent before a few seconds before Kei gave a little chuckle. "You're tiny. Like a baby!"

"Hey!" Karin cried in irritation, but she wasn't really upset. She knew on the smaller side and comparing her small stature to Kei must really make her seem like a baby, but he was the one who was unnaturally tall. "I could ruin you, buddy. Don't test me."

"You're so cute!" he whispered in awe, smile unwavering.

Their to-be banter was interrupted by the loud voices of the Shinigami. The elderly man stepped forward. "Who remains without a partner?"

Many students raised their hands, but Karin could clearly see the majority had found their matches.

"I am afraid you have not passed the first portion of the test. A key feature of being a Shinigami is being able to act fast in chaotic situations. I know the odds were not in your favor, but they rarely are. You have been eliminated."

From position in Kei's arms (He had positioned his arms to make somewhat of a seat for Karin and she couldn't complain about the view, or the comfort), Karin could see all the unpaired students and how their faces fell at the news. She watched as every single one of them walked out of Seireitei without raising a single complaint.

"3395361," The elder continued when the last failing student was out of sight. Karin focused in on the man in an instant. "Come forward."

Kei started moving before the man had finished speaking. People parted and made a clear path for Kei to walk through. When he stopped in front of the man, Karin gave a small pat to Kei's chest, and the tall man had somehow understood her and he set her down with the same care as before.

"You were the first to take action. Were you aware that I had not said go?" The man glared.

Karin felt her heart stop for a split moment, but the irritation she felt started it again. This old bag of bones had the audacity to call her out and she wasn't going to take it. "Time was ticking. You never said 'go', but you were watching. What were we supposed to do? Wait while you watch us fail?" she challenged.

The man's eyebrow twitch at her tone. "Present your case."

Karin was confused by his words. What case did she have to present? "I proceeded with the little instruction I was given. You gave us ten minutes to act, but didn't tell us when it started. Like you said, the odds are rarely in our favor, so I did what I did to put them in my favor. You didn't say not to move, so it's not like I broke your rules. You said to find our matching ticket, so that's what we did."

"If that is your case," the man said slowly. He gaze traveled over to look at Kei. He was no longer addressing Karin. "Hand me your ticket. You have been eliminated."

Kei's face fell. He hadn't said a single word, so why was he being targeted? Karin stepped in between Kei and the man. Karin had a choice: she could risk her passing for this man she knew for less than ten minutes or she could do nothing and let Kei get kicked out. She was used to being a leader and her instincts seemed to follow her into the afterlife. Kei was her partner and she'd be damned if she abandoned him. "Respectfully, Sir, you don't get to do that."

A look of shock settled on the man's wrinkled face. "Excuse me?"

Karin cursed Ichigo for instilling this behavior in her, but at the same time, she thanked him. "Every single one of us worked together to find each other. I called out for him, but he came to me. Kei fought his way through this massive crowd to find me. Everyone here fought against the odds you set. You don't get to fail any of them now."

The man gestured at the crowd. "Why do you protect them? You barely know him and you don't know them."

"Because we are the same," Karin proclaimed. "We're here for one reason and I know not a single person here wants that taken away from them. We took your test and we passed. What more do you want from us?"

The crowd was silent and so were the Shinigami. Karin waited for the old man to say something. She was getting increasingly nervous because she couldn't read his face. Her feet stayed frozen in place and the blood was pounding in her ears. She almost didn't register the clapping. The clapping. Who was clapping? Karin looked passed the old man to the Shinigami. All of them were clapping with smiles on their faces. Slowly, Karin looked back to the old man who had begun clapping as well.

"Congratulations, young lady, you pass!" the man said with a smile on his face. He turned to the whole crowd. "You all pass!"

Karin looked around in confusion as everyone cheered in glee. She passed? She passed! She faced Kei and held her hand up for a high-five, but he had other plans. Just like before he lifted her up so she was face to face with him. "Thank you, Karin-chan!" His eyes were shiny with unshed tears when he pulled her in for a hug.

"Hey, don't cry! You deserve this. You found me. You passed. We all did." In the beginning she wasn't too certain, but Karin definitely kicked ass today.