Part 23

Flashback... The hospital

Trying to stay calm and taking several deep breaths, Bucky Barnes's nerves were still frayed to the quick. In his building anxiety he tried to construct elaborate rationalisations to why everything would turn out alright but still that little voice in the back of his mind spoke of nothing but dread. As Brogan focused on the road ahead, Bucky felt his anxiety growing by the second. Building up like an unstoppable snowball in the very depth of his core. Leaving his heart racing harder and faster than ever before. Fright and fear consuming every cell of his body as Brogan pulled the car into the hospital carpark at last. Struggling to breathe once again, he tried tell himself over and over that today was going to be a good day. After all, he wasn't going off to war, battling HYDRA again or taking on Thanks. Today he was going to find out the gender of his unborn child. A moment he longed for ever since Brogan broke the news. Yet there still was that little voice of self doubt imprinted deeply in his soul...despite how hard he tried to block it out. He had to be strong.. Be strong for his beautiful Brogan and be strong for his unborn child...

Even after all these years, Brogan still could sense when Bucky's anxiety levels were sky high. Giving him a smile, she pulled the car into deserted part of the lot and away from prying eyes. With the engine now off, she placed her hand on his thigh and squeezed it reassuringly. Even in the darkness of his mind, her touch, her smile and her love for him still felt like the light he needed to find his way. Her touch always gave him a sense of peace that he never felt before, a real calm to the storms in his heart and soul. It was her that gave him a hope for the future and no with his child growing inside her belly, something to live for. Moving her hand from his knee she took his own within her tiny own. Already with this one small notion, he could feel with her at his side there was nothing to fear. Her touches gave him all the assurance he needed, she was and would always be the light in his darkness, a lone star in an otherwise empty sky..

"How you doing Bucky? It's going to be OK. You just got to trust me" a smile grew across his face as Brogan cupped his cheek, caressing his beard "You have absolutely nothing to fear. I know this is all new to you as you missed out on this with Rebecca and I know its a hell of a lot to get your head around but trust me you got this OK? Plus you're not the only expectant father to feel nervous" laughed Brogan squeezing his hand once more "you can do this and we are doing this together...this is how I wanted it to be before...together every step of the way. You're going to see your child Bucky...your baby.. A baby we both created together"

"yes...our child" He finally looked up at her and reached for her hair, softly tucking a loose lock behind her ear "as always you're right. I just never thought I'd find myself in this situation...me? The Winter Soldier..."

"Hey its James Barnes that's the father of my unborn child NOT the winter Soldier" despite The winter Soldier long gone from their lives, his presence was still haunting them both. Turning to face him, Brogan took his head in her hands and softly kissed his forehead. Sitting back, she tilted his chin to force him to look up at her. Slowly she took his glowing metallic hand and placed it on her growing swollen abdomen "listen to me Bucky, This little one here cannot wait to meet you. He or she will adore and love you just as much as I do...just as much as Rebecca and James do too. We are all so proud of you and that includes this little one too"

"But the serum... What if..."

"enough... Whatever happens regarding the serum we will deal with it together. We made this baby together Bucky and we will climb any obstacles together...understand?" she smiled, right on cue the baby kicked hard taking both of them by surprise. It was almost like they was listening the entire time and was giving their seal of approval at their mothers words "SEE even they agree with me" laughed Brogan "So ready to meet your son or daughter then ?"

Her reassuringly tender words soon began to calm his inner storm to a soothing onshore breeze. There was now an explosion of deep happiness and Joy in his brain. This moment now was the calling card of adventure and the prospect of he, Bucky Barnes, finally getting his happy ending at long last. Whatever lay ahead may indeed be a challenge for them both and he knew there would most probably be tears but if was their adventure and one they would travel together as a family. Reaching for her hand, Bucky kissed her palm and placed it on his heavily bearded cheek. Saying nothing, she smiled as she gently caressed his face. At last she hoped Bucky could finally release his past and feel free as it floated away to obscurity. Everything was going to be OK now. At last she had Bucky at her side and wonderful family around her. They was a team, a unit and now ready to find out the gender of the newest member of that unique team...

"yes..." Bucky smiled warmly "its time...let's do this"

With the endless session of anxiety and panic easing at last, Bucky managed to sit down on one of the monotonously grey chairs that was aligned next to the bed where Brogan now lay. A bulb hung from the celling bathed the pair of them in a soft ivory glow. Sitting on the edge of the chair, Bucky placed his hand on his knee with the intention to stop it bouncing with nerves every five seconds. He stared at the black framed wall clock for what felt like the millionth time. As they waited for the nurse to arrive, Bucky managed to continue to calm and relax thanks to Brogan squeezing his hand and using breathing exercises that she taught him. Just as his heart beat returned to normal and steady, a slightly flustered old woman soon entered the room...

"oh my word. My name is Nurse Evans and I'm terribly sorry to have kept you waiting" the woman apologised, pushing her tiny circle spectacles up her nose "its been one of those mornings... Now let's begin shall we?" with kind eyes, the woman began to prepare and asked Brogan to raise her shirt. Sensing Bucky's nerves, she tried to ease the tension "is this your first time Daddy? You wouldn't believe the number of nervous daddy's come through these doors... They come in terrified but go out over the moon. Trust me"

"actually its his second time but he missed out before through no fault of his own I must say..." lovingly Brogan reached for his hand. She knew it killed him missing so much of Rebecca's early life. Yet she hoped at last he felt loved. No more feeling alone and isolated in the world. He had her and now they had their family. She would be eternally grateful to that fateful visit to the museum and the day he came into her life "I was just wondering as he's not really been through this before...could you just explain everything that you're going to do? It will really help him understand and put his mind at ease"

"sure thing ...like I said the number of nervous daddy's that come through my door is off the scale... You're not alone Papa" The woman smiled reassuringly over at Bucky "How bout you pull your chair closer your man? You will want to see this... Trust me"

Bucky watched on in awe as the kind old woman reassuringly explained every detail of the scan. His earlier anxiety and fear from earlier almost vanishing completely at the woman's words. His mind blown at the sheer process alone that went in to him seeing his unborn child. His heart full of love for his beautiful Brogan and to the life growing inside her. Yes he was scared but he was ready to embrace this new chapter in their story. A story and future he at last felt he was deemed worthy of at long last...

"So have you found our little Soldier yet?" Brogan couldn't help but laugh at Bucky as he just couldn't take his eyes away from the grainy sonogram "If they are anything like their father it will be tricky to pin them down... They will be good at hiding that's for sure"

"wow you are very true..." Bucky pretended to be shocked at Brogan's words as the nurse continued to turn several buttons on the screen "they are indeed camera shy but...there you go...there's you baby mum and Dad" Smiling she pressed another button and a heartbeat loudly filled the room. Bucky looked at brogan with tears in his eyes "Good strong heartbeat...see that? That's the head...ooh you have a big baby in there...congratulations guys"

"Bucky...its our baby" Brogan's eyes glimmered with tears. Her heart full to burst. Reaching for Bucky's head, she kissed him hard "I love you..."

"I love you too" They say that the eyes are windows to the soul and as he cried with her, Bucky could see nothing but love in hers. Her eyes were his safe place and a direct link to his soul "always..."

"so shall we see if your little Soldier is a boy or girl then?" A smile filled the nurses lips as she watched Bucky touch the image of his child on the screen with his glowing metallic hand "Well? Does Daddy want to know?"

"I...don't...I don't know" Bucky bit his lip nervously. Never in His wildest dreams did he imagine anyone ask him that "Brogan?..what shall I say?"

"you say yes Bucky" she smiled, squeezing his hand "we want to know right?...then we will"

"not a problem... Now let's see" the nurse continued to move the tool over Brogan's swollen abdomen and paused in one space "well you have a beautiful baby...boy"

"A boy?" Bucky gasped. His lips parted and drew a tiny breath. He felted winded, stunned but more importantly over the moon "a boy! We're having a boy! A son...our Son...oh my god...another Son"

"Oh Bucky another mini version of you at home. I cant wait to tell the children" smiled Brogan "our happy ending starts now..."

"yes, you're right and you know what?" he took the printed version of the scan from the nurse and began to caress it with his fingertips. His son. His baby. A baby created out of love by two soulmates "im going to cut my hair just before this one arrives. Yes I'm going to do it. I've been making excuses and putting it off but seeing our son on that screen just now has made me realise the future starts now. A new beginning for us all as a family...soon as we get home I'm discussing it with James and circling it on the calendar so no going back..."

"oh Bucky I'm so proud of you" she kissed him hard and pulled him close "lets go home...tell the children and Sam the news..."

As they left the room, Bucky and Brogan held hands and continued to gush over the sonogram picture. In the eyes of this new baby, there was a purity to the gaze and love within. Both knew that regardless if this baby had Bucky's serum inside them or not the little boy would never be deprived of love. If any person came to harm this baby, Bucky would defend them with his life if need be...his child... His son...