Part 24

8 months later...

Brogan trudged along the wood panelled floor of her kitchen at a sedate pace this morning and slowly made her way to an oak beam just by the fridge. Smiling proudly, she rubbed one hand over her heavily swollen stomach and with the other placed an "X" through yesterday's date on the calendar that final signalled the day the family had been waiting for. Yet this wasn't the date of the birth of her unborn child, this was the day her beloved Bucky would be cutting his hair and saying a symbolic goodbye to his Winter Soldier persona once and for all. His long wavy locks had become the symbol of his traumatic past and the deadly assassin he once was. Yet today at long last he would finally be able to look to the future, focus on being the man he once was and become the man he should have been prior to his capture all those years ago...

With the birth now just weeks away, there was a light in Brogans heart that had been growing day by day. For the first time in years she felt happy and content. With the upcoming birth of her son on the horizon, she finally could feel ready to embrace the happy ending she craved and longed for her and her amazing family. This was more than just Bucky cutting his hair today, it was the starting spark of hope that things were on the up. Perhaps it was optimism or an anticipation of good things finally blossoming but whatever it was Brogan could feel it deep within her soul. It was an intense feeling of joy that she hadn't of felt in a long time but made her even more willing to embrace the further happiness that she was more than ready to receive... This had been a smooth pregnancy thankfully and Bucky had been her rock every step of the way. Accompanying his love to every doctors appointment, constantly telling her she was beautiful when she was low and taking care of her whenever age felt tired and poorly. He made her feel loved for all the wondrous reasons that she was. Brogan knew she wouldn't have got through these past several months without him. Yet today it was her turn to do something for him. She knew how much today meant to him and despite her chronic back pain and slight morning sickness, she would be there at his side today and forever...

Stroking her stomach, Brogan smiled proudly. She kissed her fingertips softly and gently placed them on her swollen abdomen before giving her belly a tiny pat. Catching her reflection in the mirror opposite she smiled at the woman looking at her. This form bore two hearts now, the child growing inside her womb and her own. That was love right there and for Brogan it was joy to have another part of Bucky growing inside her. A beautiful product of the love they shared. This was all new to Bucky but he loved talking to her stomach as they lay in bed at night. Brogan thought it was adorable. Every night before they went to sleep, he would gently kiss her swollen belly and whisper a soft goodnight to his unborn son. Sometime the baby would kick furiously at hearing his fathers voice and others he would be still and only start to kick once Bucky finished talking. It was almost like the baby was hanging on the every word of his father absorbed in the outside world. Like Brogan and the rest of the family, Bucky couldn't wait to meet his son and in a few weeks time the Barnes family would finally get there wish...

"Morning Mama" smiled Rebecca, drawing Brogan from her trance. Looking concerned the youngster watched on as her mother took several Deep breaths before turning slowly to face her daughter. It was obvious she was in some pain and it didn't take Rebecca and her serum induced instincts to see that. Racing over she guided her mother to a nearby chair "mama you gotta take it easy... Baby Boo, James and Papa need you to look after yourself..."

"baby boo?..." laughed Brogan, reaching for Rebecca's hand as she sat opposite "so is that what you think his name should be then?"

"well you and Papa haven't decided on his name yet so I have to call him something..." she laughed gazing lovingly over to her mother "can I make a suggestion for his name though. Its a nice name I promise you Boo"

It was true, she and Bucky hadn't really thought about names yet. They had of course discussed it and had a list of several possible ones but nothing was for definite. Choosing Rebecca's name had been easy. She wanted a name that was part of Bucky, part of who he truly was and be the perfect legacy for him. So with him still in cryostasis when she gave birth, the name she picked for his daughter was perfect. "Rebecca Alice Barnes". Rebecca for Bucky's older sister and Alice for his mother. What better way to continue her father's legacy by naming his little girl after the two most important women in his life. Plus for Brogan she may not of had Bucky in her life but she now had a Becky...and for the new mother that was more than enough...

"so go on then honey... What you thinking?" Brogan smiled "its a big moment naming a baby. Let's hope its one Baby Boo will like... I mean we have to get his opinion... If he likes it then that's will go to the top of our list of possibilities"

Rebecca's smile was one of happiness growing deep within. Brogan could see how it had emerged from deep inside the light of her eyes and spread to every part of her face. The way her lips lifted upwards. The way the dimples in her cheeks crinkled. The warm proud glow of happiness filling her soul. To Brogan her smile was a ray of sunshine and in her she saw Bucky even more

"Jack...Jack Henry Steven Barnes..." the youngster smiled proudly. Looking over at her mothers stomach hoping for a reaction "So Boo... You like Jack? Want that to be your name?"

"oh Rebecca that's perfect .I love it... " Almost in tears she squeezed her daughters hand that little bit tighter "You remembered me telling you who Jack was?"

"Of course I remembered...Jack was Papa's brother but he...you know...he went up to heaven..."

"Yes that's right... Jack was your uncles name. Your father finds it painful to talk about him but Uncle Steve told me about him. Jack looked up to Papa so much. He even joined the army so he could be like his big brother. He was Jacks hero" she smiled, stroking her daughters cheek "Papa was over the moon to have Jack at his side in the army but sadly it wasn't meant to be. He died just after his 18th birthday according to uncle Steve. Papa was devastated but I'm sure Jack will be looking down at Bucky with great pride at this man he's become now... "

"exactly.. Well even more reason why we need to call Baby Boo Jack. Uncle Jack will live on and be with us forever" right on cue the baby let out a hard kick that Brogan felt instantly "SEE Mama...even Baby boo agrees...I mean Baby Jack agrees" she laughed "not long now Baby Jack I promise..."

"looks like it indeed but till I have a discussion with your father..." Brogan stroked her hand "but its a front runner... "

"Discussion about what!?" Interrupted Bucky entering the kitchen with James close by. He smiled before playfully ruffling the boys hair "what are you girls talking about then? What are you up to?"

"oh nothing..." Said Rebecca giving her mother a cheeky wink "oh Papa your beard? You shaved it off...you look so handsome"

"indeed you do..." getting to her feet Brogan headed over to Bucky and slipped her hands round his neck, kissing him softly "perfect as ever..."

"Thank you..." smiled Bucky as his metallic hand dropped to her stomach giving it a gentle caress "Well seeing as today's the day, I thought I'd go all out. Talking of which...are we ready?"

"wow you are eager aren't you Bucky Barnes.. " said Brogan running her hand through the long locks of his hair for the final time "im proud of you..."

"it's indeed Time Papa" reaching toward, James linked his hand into Bucky's before giving a reassuring squeeze "lets roll..."

"well I'm ready as I'll ever be" with his anxiety and nerves at last feeling at ease, Bucky let out a smile. A smile full of hope. Hope at last that his happy ending was finally here "lets do this... "

Just stepping out onto the driveway made Bucky's Breathing grow rapid and shallow. He could feel his pulse pounding hard inside his temple as he nervously glanced down at his watch for what felt like the millionth time. This confirming that time was slowing down to what felt like a snails pace. As soon as he sat down in the drivers seat, he felt his stomach continuing to knot up and hands tremble before placing them on the steering wheel with a deep sigh...

"Bucky its going to be OK..." tenderly Brogan reached over and cupped his cheek "you can do this... I believe in you..."

"Mama's right... We're with you Papa" from the backseat Rebecca slipped her hands and kissed his cheek "Always..."

With his eyes fixed on the road ahead, all the reasons not to say goodbye to his locks began to overwhelm Bucky once again. It was if his body chemistry had sent his body a blanket invitation. Struggling to keep himself calm, he turned and saw Brogan was now smiling down at her bump and massaging it softly. Bucky watched on in awe as she tenderly kissed her fingertips then patted them gently onto her swollen belly. That one notion from his love soon melted his anxiety and fears away in an instant. Happiness soon drowned out the fear from within His soul. He was not only doing this for himself but for her too, the love of his life, his soulmate and reason for living. The soon to be mother of his unborn child .

Luckily the barbers wasn't too far away and after about 10 minutes Bucky pulled the car up outside. Biting his bottom lip, Bucky reached for the band and soon allowed his hair to fall over his shoulders. Feeling his anxiety rise, he smiled when he saw that James had taken out his ponytail too. The boy reached for Bucky's glowing hand and together they slowly headed inside

"its okay Papa...everything's going to be okay...we are doing this together.. Trust me" The boy smiled "I know this is hard but I've looked up to you every since that first day you came into my life...so I believe in you...you're my hero for doing this...always"

"you truly are like your mother so much James" Smiled Bucky tucking a lock of the boys hair behind his ear "Thank you for doing this with me.. I don't know what I'd of done if you said no to me getting my hair cut with you. I'm glad were doing this together Son"

"I'd do anything for you Papa..." smiled James "anyhow I don't think I could manage the upkeep anymore...but this is going to be a new beginning for us both...so...shall we sit?"

Cold sweat glistened on Bucky's furrowed brow as he made his way to the chair. Just that walk to the barbers chair seemed long and non existent for Bucky. The barber tried to make conversation as he Began to cut but Bucky just smiled, closed his eyes as he tried to remain calm and keep his anxiety in check. He could hear the sound of the scissors but refused to open his eyes as the obvious skilled barber went to work. Controlling his breathing, he soon oddly could hear footsteps growing closer and stop by his feet. Someone had slipped their hand under the gown and was reassuringly squeezing his own. Avoiding his reflection still, he looked down slowly, opened his eyes and was surprised to see his beautiful Rebecca gently stroking his hand

"You do know you're going to get covered in my hair sitting down there honey you know that right?" Bucky smiled down at his beloved little girl "Don't think your mother will appreciate that for sure..."

"She sent me over" said Rebecca resting her head on his knee and gazing up at him "She told me to come help you...I could sense you was nervous... I think like you remember? "

"Sounds like something she would say but you are all more than helping me by just being here" Continued Bucky "you've all done more than enough trust me..."

"Well if that's the case, look at your face in the mirror then. Say goodbye to the bad man once and for all. Hes gone now and only my Papa is in his place. That's who I see. The real you is here now...take a look "Smiled Rebecca "Take a look...look at the mirror and I'll go back to sit with Mama because you won't need my help anymore...you can at last be the man I know you can"

Taking a deep breath, Bucky gave a small smile to his daughter before slowly looking up at the mirror in front of him. He let out a silent gasp as he watched his hair continuing to fall to the floor. With each hair falling away he saw brokenness, anger, pain and sorrow for everything he had endured from his past. Each link to the feared man he was disappearing forever. When people looked at him before all the saw him as was The Winter Soldier. It was really only Steve and later Brogan that ever saw him as Bucky. People were afraid of him and the monster hydra had turned him in to. Yet right at this moment with tears in his eyes, he watched as his hair began to look shorter and shorter with each cut from the scissors. The anger Turing to joy, the hurt to happiness, pain blossoming to kindness. That old broken self turning into the man he once was at long last. Ready to start a new journey with his beautiful family at his side...True to her word Bucky saw that Rebecca had indeed gone back to sit with her mother and gave him a cheeky wink. Brogan was without a doubt the love of his life. She was that truly special someone who would be at his side eternally. He trusted her with his life. Thanks to her he at last felt like he had a place in the world. Her love had ignited that spark in his soul that finally allowed him to at last be himself. All it had took was a simple smile or gentle kiss. She had helped him bring back at last his true self. He never knew someone like her could change his life forever but Brogan had managed it. At long last he didn't see the Soldier before him but James Buchanan Barnes...

"See Mama, I knew he could do it...he's going to be okay now..." Rebecca grinned watching proudly as Bucky continued to stare trance like at his reflection staring back at him. As she turned to her mother she gasped in horror. Brogan was clutching her stomach, struggling to control her breathing and it was plain to see she was in great pain. With every shot of pain she gritted her teeth, desperate to ride it out as best she could "Mama. Mama what's wrong? Is Baby Jack coming? "

"yes honey it looks like it..." cried Brogan gripping her jacket like a vice as another wave of pain shot through her body like a volt of electricity "Guess...your brother wanted to see Papa's...new...haircut too"

"im getting Papa... He'll know what to do.."

"No... No Rebecca... Not yet" panted Brogan, clutching her daughters hand. She locked onto her little girls beautiful blue eyes, full of deep pleading "Your father...needs...this to happen. Let him do this..." she squeezed Rebecca's hand that bit more tighter as another contraction hit hard and oh it was a big one. Brogan knew it wouldn't be long now "He...needs to say goodbye to his past...once and... For all. He won't embrace the future unless he does this honey..." using every last ounce of energy she had, Brogan reached up to gently brush away her little girls glistening tears "just...hold my hand Darling girl...I'll be okay... as I know you've got me...when Bucky's finished then tell him...please Rebecca do this not just for me but for Papa too"

Torn at what the best thing to do, tiny droplets of water fell from little Rebecca's eyes. The tears made wet tracks down her face and dripped from her trembling chin. The light blue eyes that she had inherited from her father looked as if an ocean had been enclosed in glass like marbles. It killed her to see her mother in so much pain with her father sitting blissfully aware close by, but deep down she knew Brogan was right. Bucky needed this to finish...

"Okay Mama..." she sniffed kissing her mothers brow "I've got you... I won't tell Papa yet..."

"thank you my Darling...its going to be okay I promise " her mother's breathing grew deep and shallow "it won't be long now...and remember this is the third time I've done this..." she forced out a smile and tried to laugh "everything will be Okay..."

"oh Mama..." the little girl placed her hand on Brogan's stomach linking it with hers "see you soon baby Jack...I love you mama "

"I love...you...too my beautiful special baby girl "

Technically he may of been an old man now but as the Barber signalled he'd finished, Bucky couldn't help but gaze excitedly almost child like at the man staring back at him. Completely taken aback by how different he looked. It was as if the pre war Bucky had returned at long last. The Bucky full of hope and full of life. The Bucky Barnes from the past had been buried deep for decades now so he just couldn't help but feel taken aback by his own refection. It may of just been hair but it had been with him during his entire run as The Winter Soldier. Just like his metal arm it had become a symbol of his past and the tortures inflicted on him. Yet now thanks to one simple haircut, it was time to put his past behind him, look to a future with his family and say goodbye to The Winter Soldier once and for all...

Still smiling, Bucky looked down at the chopped off locks that had fallen by the chair, hair that had been attached to him only moments earlier. Quickly he gave the newly now short haired James a high five and ran a hand through his now short hair that stretched over his scalp. Instantly he felt himself transported back to his youth. Chasing Steve and his Brother through the docks back in Brooklyn, experiencing the wonders of a Barnes family Christmas and proudly seeing his sister get married as she looked like an angel on her wedding day. Holding back the tears he just couldn't stop looking at himself. Stunned beyond words at the familiar face looking at him. At long last he could finally believe his future was that bit more brighter now. He was ready to say goodbye to his past and gear up to create new memories. At last he'd found his inner peace and was ready to embrace every moment that came with it

"You did it Papa... You look amazing" James cried taken aback by Bucky's nrw look. Especially as he'd never seen him with short hair "I knew you could do it...you look so different...it suits you" he hurled himself into his father's arms as Bucky pulled him close "Im so proud of you...you did it"

"Thanks Son. You look great too" smiled Bucky "You Still look like my mini-me even with the short hair" We did it James...Brogan what do you think of your boys then? Wish Steve could see this" turning to his wife, Bucky gasped and quickly rushed over to the equally distressed Brogan and Rebecca. Still Brogan was clinging onto her daughters hand "Brogan what's going on? What's happening? "

"Im sorry Bucky...I'm so sorry..." sobbed Brogan, continuing to grit her teeth through the pain. "I needed...you to say goodbye to your hair...goodbye to the soldier"

"Papa the baby is coming...Mama told me not to get you until you cut your hair...I'm sorry " Rebecca watched on as Bucky stroked his wife's hair "she needs to go to hospital Papa...its not going to be long till he's here..."

"Brogan...why didn't you say anything?" tenderly her kissed her hand as Brogan tried to reach for his face "I..."

"listen..cutting your hair...that was the important thing" using every last ounce of energy in her soul she reached up and ran her hand through his newly cut hair "I've only seen ..you with... Short hair in pictures.. You look...perfect... I'm so proud of you right now "

"Papa they've called an ambulance so it shouldn't be too long now " cried James, feeling relieved just as much as Bucky was "Stay Strong Mama..."

"oh thank God... " Bucky breathed a huge sigh of relief as he continued to cling onto Brogan's hand "James can you call Sam and tell him what's happened. Take my phone. Besides you can work these things way better than me" he laughed handing him his mobile "its going to be okay Brogan...Baby Barnes is on his way... "

When the contractions began, the pain was more intense than anything Brogan had ever imagined. Yet as she looked into the perfect eyes and face of her love, she knew everything was going to be alright...once and for all...