Chapter 13 - A Decision Made

Charlotte's P.O.V.

Even though Adrian was apologizing and full-on blaming his family all the way when he drove me home, I know it's really my fault for what happened on Saturday. Granted, I didn't even do much while I was there, but it's obvious that my just being there was the problem; the Cullens were expecting another house guest that weekend, and my presence was completely uncalled for. Of course, it's Adrian who insisted we go in the first place and who (probably) neglected to mention that he'd be bringing me along, but even if he did, I don't think any of his siblings would want me there anyway.

Thinking it over all weekend, what Janice first told me about how the Cullens are exclusive and keep everyone else at a distance is starting to make sense.

It leaves me pretty stuck on what to do though, and even when Monday morning comes along, I'm still trying to puzzle it out. Joe was surprised to have me back home after barely just an hour, but not exactly against it, and so everyone's schedule was freed up with Charlotte nice and safe at home. The last thing I heard before Adrian left was another whispered apology.

I've been going over everything that happened in my head, and so far all I can think of doing is maybe asking Adrian if we can't sit by ourselves somewhere private for lunch—I'll have the guts to do it this time, I swear!—and then tell him directly that maybe it's not a good idea for us to hang out with things being the way they are. I can foresee him being against that right away, so I've already prepared a speech that I hope won't hurt him but will communicate that it isn't a good idea for us to be together: namely that, no matter what, I don't to stand between him and his family and make him choose or anything. That's not fair to anyone and I don't have a right to do that, especially after just a few days of knowing the guy.

Stay out of people's way, Charlotte. Hearing myself say it reminds me of one of the, shall we say, less sympathetic teachers at blind school from my childhood.

If he fights me on it—and part of me hopes that he does whereas the rational part of me knows that it'll all be easier if he doesn't—then I'll have to just hold my ground on that and try to find counterarguments for anything he might say. If he says that his family's not important to him, I'll counter that by telling him that obviously that can't be true, especially with how close they seem to be; if he insists that it's not my fault like he did on Saturday, I'll agree with him, but at the same time specify how I don't want to stick around long enough to become a problem. And sooner or later, from the way things are going, I will be.

I'm prepared, and yet...God, I don't want to go through with it!

There goes your chance for a friend, Char, I say to myself as I climb out of the car in front of the school office, where Janice has been picking me up to take me to class so far. And speaking of Janice, I doubt that she or anyone else will want to hang around me after seeing me around Adrian last week, and even if someone does, there's no guarantee we'll get along or that they won't see me as just "the blind girl". What I had with Adrian, even just for a couple of days, was something I haven't had with anyone else who's not blind, and I'll miss it...

Well, suck it up, buttercup!

"Janice? You here?" Usually, she's behind me in a flash, but maybe she's absent today or something? I don't see her just ditching me, no matter that she might not be as friendly as on the first day anymore...

When someone does reach out and take my arm though, it's clearly not Janice; the temperature of the hand I'm feeling could only be one person...

"Adrian?"

"Morning." He sounds cheerful, casual, the same as always, but I can feel through his hand that his entire body's tense. This takes me back a bit since I was not prepared for a confrontation this early, but...

"C-can I ask you a favour?"

"Does it have to be now, or can it wait until after bio?"

He's already leading me off down the familiar path to geo, but I stop walking and try to pull him back. Fat lot of good it does me, he's still walking and half-dragging me along for a few steps, not slowing down his pace or seeming affected at all, but when I call out, he finally does stop.

"Actually, it involves what we'll do after bio," I say, swallowing back the lump in my throat. "I don't want to cause offense, but do you think that just for today maybe we could take lunch by ourselves somewhere? In private, I mean?"

I don't know what reaction I'm expecting, but it's definitely not a laugh; and, like the proverbial moth to a flame, I gravitate towards the sound.

"Funny, I was just thinking of doing that anyway," he says between chuckles. "Great minds think alike, I guess."

I smile at how easy it's turning out to be so far, but don't exactly let my guard down. "I'm glad we agree! So, did you have anywhere in mind, or—?"

Charlotte's P.O.V.

Apparently, he did, and that particular place happens to be out in the woods just beyond the school boundary line. We walk there, so I can tell that distance-wise it's not far, though I still don't get what it is with Adrian and being out in the woods all the time. I know he goes camping and hiking with his family, but first he suggests a mountain hike to me and now he's taking "privacy" to mean literally a place where I'm sure no one else can see us, a wall of trees in every direction. The part of me that knows about horror movie plots makes the connection to the whole "in the woods" thing, but then the rational part of me reminds myself that hey, it's Adrian. In other words, I'll be fine.

Sitting me down on a falling log, Adrian starts pacing, whereas I shove a sandwich in my mouth to keep myself busy with chewing while I try to review what I'll say. Sometime between this morning and the end of bio—the one time in class when both Adrian and I actually paid full attention to what Mr. Nolan was saying and didn't even try to engage in conversation—I forgot what that was...

"So..." Adrian begins suddenly, "I know what I came out here to say to you, but since this was your idea, do you want to go first?"

I'm curious to know what he's going to say, but then I remind myself that I actually don't want to know, since whatever it is, it'll be voided by what I'm going to say anyway. Maybe as well speak my piece first, clumsy though it's sure to be...

"Right, um..." I set my sandwich down and take a breath. "So, please don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think we should hang out anymore." And it's a good thing that we—meaning, especially me—know in what way I mean to say this, because otherwise I swear it's like something directly out of a rom-com, the female lead temporarily breaking up with the male lead. Only, this time is isn't temporary, right? Right, Charlotte, right.

Adrian's quiet for only a little while, but I hear him moving and then feel when he sits down beside me on the log, though he's not touching me. I wonder if maybe what I said, little though it was, did end up hurting him—though I didn't figure him for the sensitive type—but then he finally speaks up.

"And that's what you really want? Do you think it would make you happy?"

"Uh..." Well, this isn't really a me thing here, or at least I'm trying not to make it about me, but...

"Just answer me this: why? Why are you saying this to me?" He pauses. "Even if it's something I've done, just be honest and tell me directly, okay?"

"No, it's not you!" I exclaim, holding my hands defensively. I only realize in retrospect how typical that line is as well. "I mean, it's me either! It's neither of us!" I bite the inside of my cheek, lowering my hands. "Look, it's clear that we want to hang out and all, but maybe we're not that good a match like we said before. I mean, besides just meeting and maybe hitting it off—"

"Maybe?"

"Okay, completely hitting it off," I amend. "But even after that, there's still a lot we don't know about each other—"

"And therefore there's all the more reason to hang out more."

He's starting with the counterarguments already and I'm failing at coming up with answers even in my head, but short of outright blurting out that it's because of his family—

"I already know what the problem is, Charlotte," Adrian cuts in before I can say more. "And you're right, it's definitely not us. We're great together." As if to prove his point, he grabs hold of my hand, the coldness of his skin making me feel goosebumps up my arm. It's cold out here right now and I can tell just by sliding my thumb up a bit that Adrian's not wearing a jacket, but it's unreasonable for him to be this cold, isn't it? If ever there was a time to ask that question about anemia though...

"The problem is my family, right? And how they've been treating you ever since we met and especially this weekend." The fact that he makes it a statement proves that we're on the same track as far as things go; not that it changes my mind any.

"I don't want you to have to choose between them and me," I say, not exactly agreeing with him but definitely not disagreeing—a fair compromise. I slide my hand out of his and he lets me. To keep off some of the chill, I wrap my arms around myself for warmth. "There's still a lot about you and your family I don't know, but it's clear that they're not happy with me and don't want me around to find out more. I don't want to impose on anyone like that, and especially not a family that's as close as you all seem to be. It's not fair to you."

I sigh. "This weekend was just the final straw, Adrian. I even drove Seth out of your home, it was so awkward, and—"

"That wasn't your fault!"

Adrian's response is more...angry than I've ever heard him before, so I stop that line of reasoning immediately and redirect.

"Okay, so we'll say it wasn't, but anyway, I interrupted the flow of things and that wasn't fair to either your siblings or your parents. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen seem very nice and I'm sure they'll understand, but with your siblings—"

"Are you done?" Adrian asks, sounding strained. "Because I've heard just about enough about them. It isn't all about them and as far as I'm concerned, it's not their problem what I do!" The last part sounds almost like a snarl, and for a second I feel my flight instincts flare up, although of course there's nowhere for me to go.

Suddenly, Adrian calms down. "Sorry. I'm so sorry, Charlotte, for everything from how they've been acting to what they've made you think. But it isn't like that, honest. They don't have anything against you."

Not that I've given anything to have against me, I don't think, but if that's true, then what is their problem?

"It's just that they're overprotective of me," Adrian sighs, standing up and pacing again. "I'd tell you the whole story, but a lot of it's very personal."

"Oh no, you don't have to feel obligated to tell me anything!" I insist.

"No, but I want to!" Adrian stops somewhere in front of me, then comes closer and crouches down. "Charlotte," he says, this time more softy, "you know that all of us are adopted and therefore not really related, right?" I nod. "Well, add to that that I'm the most recently adopted and...they're all super protective of me because of that, because of my past.

"Back in Alaska, where we used to live, I can't say that I had the best life. It was great in so many ways, but let's just say that most of those ways were digital and involved a game controller and a screen for me. Alaska's an outdoorsy place, but I didn't used to be outdoorsy until the Cullens adopted me." He sighs. "Anyway, I lived with my mom until a couple of years back, but then...we separated. My dad had been out of the picture for years, a no-good drunk that left me and my mom behind and hardly even bothered to call or check in except when he needed money. I don't come from a happy home.

"When the Cullens found me, out in the woods and running away from...I don't know, my life, the foster care system ahead of me, whatever...that's when my entire life changed. I've tried proving to them over and over that I'm okay now, that none of that stuff from the past damages me or anything, but to a certain extent, they don't believe it and still hover over me like they did in the beginning." Adrian sniffs. "It can get a bit annoying, honestly, and that's why distancing myself from them might be a good idea for more reasons than one." He pauses. "N-not that I'm using you for that or anything, I really do think we'd get along great, but I'm just saying that..."

"...that they judge you, whereas I do not?" I finish for him, thinking back to our discussion on Saturday.

"Yeah, exactly."

And though I promised myself that nothing Adrian said would change things...let's face it, I wasn't expecting this and it does change everything.

Sighing heavily, I can't help but smile and shrug out a defeated response. "Thank you for telling me and...congratulations, you just found a way of making me not want to leave. In fact, I'm sorry I tried in the first place." And I really was, for more reasons than one.

I feel that he's smiling when he says, "In that case, I hope you'll also be more accepting of what I was planning on suggesting earlier." He sits down beside me again, our knees brushing. "We're on the same page as far as my family is concerned, anyway, and I don't want you to hang around them if they make you feel uncomfortable or anything. So, my idea was that we focus on hanging out alone, just the two of us, and maybe sooner or later you'll take me up on that hike idea..."

"Ah, so it's back to the hike again, is it?" I laugh. "I'd ask just what it is you want to show me up there, but since I can't tell what a view is anyway..." I shrug. "But, if it makes you happy, let's just say that I'm warming up to the idea." Well, warming up to the idea of having more secluded conversations like this, anyway. "Let's just see how the rest of the week passes and then I'll come up with an answer, okay?"

"It's a deal!"

And fortunately there's just enough time left out of the break for us to finish our lunch—I have no idea what Adrian brought along to eat, though I don't hear him chewing anything—and walk back. This time, swallowing bites of my sandwich goes much easier now that the butterflies are out of my stomach.

Charlotte's P.O.V.

We're separated for two classes, but I'm not at all surprised when Adrian meets me outside of my last class at the end of the day and asks if he can walk me to the parking lot. I turn to Janice to ask her if she'd be okay with that, but she's already hanging me off to Adrian with a squeaky-sounding, "Sure, go ahead!"

I chuckle a bit once Adrian and I have covered a bit of distance walking.

"What?" he asks, sounding amused.

"Nothing, just that...I was thinking that if I could see, you must really be something to look at if you make Janice that nervous. Is it wrong of me to assume?"

"That depends," Adrian muses. "Would it change your opinion about me any if you knew?"

I shake my head. "Don't think so. But it does make me wonder if I shouldn't consider myself a lucky girl for getting you to befriend me..."

"Oh yeah, it was all you," Adrian counters sarcastically. "For your information, I think we're both lucky."

"How true and equal of you."

We've reached the pavement of the parking lot where either Lizzy or Mary (Joe's usually still at work at the hospital around this time) pick me up from school, when suddenly Adrian stops and abruptly turns me around. I hear him hiss, though it's very quiet.

"What's wrong?" I ask, alarmed at this sudden change.

"Nothing, but I think we should—"

And then suddenly I hear someone call my name among the general crowd of people getting out of school, and I recognize the voice as familiar.

"Wait!" I insist, pulling away from Adrian's hold on my arm. There isn't anywhere I can walk to since I don't know my surroundings, especially in a crowd, but I definitely feel someone headed straight for me.

"Hello Charlotte."

Seth.

A/N: So, no real notes here except to say it's the end of the chapter, and beyond that, please just follow, favourite, and especially leave a review to let me know what you think of the story so far! As always, updates will be coming soon!