Chapter 6: Of Knives and Ninja

It was an endless prairie as far as the eye could see, broken up by canyons and peaks that split the land into colossal pillars of dusty stone inhabited only by tumbleweeds and cows. Johnny didn't like it much. The enemies were repetitive and annoying for a dagger wielder like him, and there was little opportunity to ambush any players as he had easily been able to do in the woodlands and grassy plains of the 1st Floor. But Johnny was a man who knew how to make his own fun. And that was what had led to this moment.

"Woo-wee! Yee haw, cow!" Johnny and his procured mount galloped across the plains, the thundering hooves of the cow he was riding tossing up a cloud of dust. Yes, Johnny had stolen a cow and was riding across the arid plains. A noise from below caught his attention. Johnny and his mount were charging along the crest of a canyon, sun high overhead. Johnny peered over the edge. Below, a bunch of spooks dressed as ninjas were chasing a hooded player. Five of them were clearly female, while the leader appeared to be male. Judging by the pursued player's voice, it was a girl.

Johnny shrugged. He had no real interest in getting involved in that. Unfortunately, that decision was taken out of his hands. His hijacked cow misstepped, careening over and sending both boy and beast hurtling towards the canyon floor. With a whoop, Johnny flung himself from the cow and hit the ground, rolling to defuse much of the impact.

If he hadn't picked up ⸢Acrobatics ⸥, he would have died. As it was, he lost a good portion of his health on the impact. His cow was not so lucky. Its body snapped on impact and it slowly began to disintegrate. Kneeling down beside the dissolving body of the cow, he patted it sadly. "Well too bad Betsy. You were a good friend."

"State thy business brigand!" the male ninja spook yelled, stepping forwards and levelling a dagger at Johnny. Johnny glanced over. It appeared that his fall had taken him right between the hooded girl and her ninja pursuers. How annoying.

He dusted himself off and rose to his full height. "Name's Johnny. Johnny Black. Sorry for interrupting, my cow just took a tumble and brought me with it. I'll be out of your hair in a second."

"What, not going to help a girl in need?" the hooded girl asked. She had fallen to the ground behind him, with the ninjas slowly advancing on her, and wasn't moving.

Johnny shrugged. "Not my business. Shouldn't you be running through? If you're trying to get away and all. Just curious."

"Paralysis dart. They got me just before you fell into the middle of this mess." The hooded girl paused for a second. "Hey, how about you help me out?"

"Why should I?" Johnny questioned. "Not to be rude but literally, why should I help you?"

"I'll owe you a favour?"

The ninja spooks drew their weapons, perhaps figuring that they might need to fight their way through.

"Ten," Johnny countered.

"Absolutely not. Three, max."

"Okay, three it is!" Johnny smiled brightly and spun back towards the ninja spooks who were approaching him warily. In truth, he had never had any intention of walking away, but only because this was a grand opportunity to test his skills against a large number of actually skilled opponents at the same time. And most of them were women as well, so… Well, he had also managed to get three favours out of the girl they were chasing as well. Bonus! "I guess we're gonna fight now, huh?"

They came at him all at once, half a dozen spooks wielding half a dozen razor-sharp daggers. The one who had done most of the talking launched himself at Johnny, using the cliff wall to propel himself into the air. Descending from the sky with the Sun at his back, he cut a terrifying sight. Johnny rolled his eyes. Jumping was so stupid. It wasn't like it did extra damage. Did they think this was Assassin's Creed or something?

Taking full advantage of the ninja's inability to manoeuvre, what with being in the process of falling, Johnny stepped forward with lightning speed and impaled the falling man through the throat before he could react. ⸢Critical Strike⸥ popped up in the corner of his vision. Johnny ignored it in favour of wrenching his dagger out of the man's throat before slamming it into his forehead. The ninja dropped like a sack of potatoes, ⸢Target Unconscious⸥ hovering over his head.

Johnny blinked. "Well, that's only supposed to happen if you take over 70% of your health in damage to your head region. I didn't think I did that much damage. Good God, have none of you levelled your ⸢Health⸥ at all? Good news for me I suppose."

So saying, Johnny dragged the unconscious ninja to his feet and placed a dagger at his throat. "So then, should I kill him or what?"

The other five ninjas froze at the threat. "You wouldn't," one of them hissed.

"Well, maybe not," Johnny allowed. "I'm only fourteen after all. Don't want to become a murderer so soon." The boy raised his dagger above his head. "Wait, I remember. I made a PvP build for a reason. I wanted to kill people. So. You'll be the first!"

The female ninjas cried out as his dagger flashed downwards towards the unconscious man; a killing blow for sure, considering any attack on an unconscious person was a ⸢Critical⸥, more so when one took into account that ⸢Daggers⸥ did the highest ⸢Critical Damage⸥.

"JB, wait!"

The dagger paused a centimetre away from the man's head. Johnny turned his head and looked curiously at the girl who had shouted. It was the cloaked girl that the ninjas had been chasing. Her hood had fallen away from her head, revealing short curly auburn hair and lovely brown eyes, as well as whiskers on her cheeks. However, Johnny was more interested in how she knew his nickname. It might have been a guess, using his initials. Her next words killed that idea.

"What would Kirito say, if he knew you killed a person?" she asked. To mention Kirito-kun. Interesting.

Johnny's hand wavered. "You know Kirito-kun?" he asked.

"Ayup. We were close during the beta. He talked a bit 'bout ya, JB. Said ya were a bit unstable, but a damn good gamer. Didn't think he meant ya were this unstable though. Not enough ta kill a person ya know?" the girl explained.

A friend during the beta. Johnny considered it. "Nah, I don't believe you," he decided finally.

"Why not?" the girl shot back.

"Because." Johnny sighed and shook his head in mock despair. "Kirito-kun could never make a friend, he's far too antisocial for that."

At that, the girl giggled slightly. "Yeah, he was like that. But, see, I'm Argo the Rat. I've got a habit of sticking my nose in places where it doesn't belong, ya see? I just bugged him until he finally got used ta me."

"Oh, then you must be his friend." Johnny quickly reversed his former position. "'Cause, after all, that's how me and him got to be friends."

Argo nodded. "So why don't cha let that man go? I'm sure it would break Kirito's heart if one of his fairly small pool of friends turned out to be a murderer."

Johnny flinched. When Kayaba had announced this was a death game, Johnny had been entirely willing to kill people. He'd built a PvP build for that purpose. In fact, if it wasn't for choosing ⸢Corruption⸥ over ⸢Poison ⸥, he probably would be a killer already. As it was, he'd found it much more fun to strip women naked than to actually kill them.

His dagger wavered, before lowering to his side. "It would make Kirito sad, wouldn't it?"

With a grunt, Johnny dropped the man to the ground, rising to his feet. "Well, if I can't kill someone… I suppose I'll make do with stripping all these annoying ninjas naked!" With that, he launched himself at them, a crimson trail tracing the path of his blade.

"Wouldn't that also make Kirito upset, if he knew you were running around stripping women?" Argo yelled after him.

Johnny glanced back over his shoulder. "Come on, Rat. Kirito-kun's a guy, same as me. He might not show it as readily through all that edge, but he's still got the same desires. Sure, he might not act on them, but you'd best be damn sure that he won't have any real complaint about me doing so."

Argo groaned. "Men." Then she paused as she realized something. "Those favours I owe him are are going to be all kinds of humiliating, aren't they?" Well, there was nothing for it, except to watch as Johnny tore through the ranks of ninja, carving armour, clothes, and weapons apart with a flashing blade. Argo sighed and decided to make the best of this encounter. She smirked as one of the ninjas, a fairly busty black haired woman, was rendered naked before having her hands nailed to the canyon wall by a throwing knife Johnny hurled. She struggled, unable to do anything more than cross her legs to protect her modesty. Hey, as long as she was going to pay dearly for Johnny's help, Argo was going to get her money's worth.

Soon enough the fight was over. On an individual level, the ninjas were probably about as skilled as Johnny mano a mano. But skill was pointless when your weapons were shattered into polygons the second they met your opponent's blade. Unarmed and unarmoured, the ninja could do little to actually hurt Johnny without any tools at their disposal. Without ⸢Unarmed Combat⸥ bare handed blows did precious little damage.

The sudden inability of the female ninja to do damage brought about a lull in the fighting, as they jumped back to regroup—and moreover, to attempt to defend their modesty, as Johnny had rendered all of them into a state of humiliating undress.

The busty black haired one still hadn't managed to free herself from where she was pinned to the wall. Of the five remaining, there were three more with black hair (A fairly common trait amongst Japanese women, so it was to be expected) one with red hair who looked to be an American by her height and facial features (And the fairly poor Japanese she seemed to speak) and one with green hair. That last one must have bought a cosmetic item because Johnny was sure nobody actually had green hair in real life. That would be straight out of an anime.

One of the black haired women was most likely the twin sister of the one who was pinned to the wall, Johnny supposed, on account of her similar features such as height, eye colour, hair colour, and breast size. And taste in underwear, as one twin had been sporting a fairly mature lacy white bra and lacy black panties, while the other was wearing the same thing, except in the reverse, colourwise.

Of course, the one that was pinned to the wall wasn't wearing much of anything anymore. Her sister still remained clothed, if only barely. Her clothes were completely gone, save for one cup of her white bra and her black panties, though the panties were showing major signs of damage on them.

And then there was the rest of the ninja. The two remaining black haired women were fairly plain looking—though still attractive enough. One had short hair, the other long. The short haired one was down only to her grey sports bra, her bottoms completely destroyed. The long-haired one was totally naked, though her hair did an alright job of concealing her breasts from view, flowing as it was down her chest to her waist.

The red-haired American looking one was the most clothed of all of them, her sleeveless kimono-style top still intact, though the shorts she used to wear and her red bikini cut panties could not say the same for themselves, Johnny's knife having rendered them into ribbons.

Of all the ninja, the green-haired girl was the most unperturbed by her state of dress. In fairness, she still had on all her undergarments—a wrapping of bandages in a traditional Japanese style and plain white panties that made her look quite childish when combined with her somewhat petite form—but still, Johnny would have expected that she'd at least be blushing. Instead, she remained coolly focused on him, fists raised as if it would do any damage to him. He paused for a second.

"Hey, Green Girl! How old are you?" he called over.

That of all things managed to get a reaction from her. She hadn't reacted much when he threatened to kill their leader and she hadn't reacted at all to her almost nakedness, except to shiver slightly in the cool breeze. And yet his asking for her age resulted in an angry glare.

"I'm nineteen Goddammit!" the girl cried in anger. "Just 'cause I'm short! And don't have big breasts! And hey, why are you so bothered with my age?"

Johnny shrugged. "Well, you know how it is. I mean, you look like a grade schooler. Sure, I like stripping women, but I'm not a pedo. Sort of? I mean, I suppose I do like looking at younger girls, but that's just because I'm fourteen myself. And I prefer older girls anyways."

"Oh? And you didn't ask any of the others? They could be younger than me for all you know!" Green Girl snapped.

"Eh…" Johnny raised his hand flat and rocked it back and forth in a so-so gesture. "I mean, possibly? But with tits like theirs, it's not too likely outside of an anime. And this isn't an anime, as much as you might seem to think so, Green Girl. Seriously, that hair colour? Absolutely chunni."

The American looking girl grinned slightly. "I know, right? I tell her that she looks like a child, dressing like that."

"Her lack of femininity doesn't help does it?" Johnny said. "Well, the rest of you make up for it. As is fairly evident from what I can see." He was quite right—all the rest of the girls had sizable assets, thin waists, wide hips, and whatnot. It made Green Girl look quite out of place, with her boyish figure. Johnny continued to speak. "And you know what? It would be quite the shame if the rest of the world wasn't able to appreciate such a wonderful display."

At that, the ninjas looked at him uncertainly. Green Girl spoke up. "You, ah… you mentioned something about punishment. What exactly did you mean by that?"

A cheeky grin spread across Johnny's face. "Well, you can't win. You know that. I know that. So, I'm going to have all of you strip naked, get on your knees and apologize to me and this rat over here, and then walk all the way back to the ⸢Monument of Life⸥ in your birthday suits."

The American girl narrowed her eyes. "That doesn't sound like there's much incentive for us to agree. You're not going to kill us, so why should we accept?"

In a flash, Johnny crossed the distance between the two of them. Asuna was faster than him, but he wasn't any slouch in that department. A dagger buried itself in the American girl's gut and she froze, shock written on her face. Johnny grinned as the paralysis poison that coated the thin needle-like dagger took effect. Grabbing her arm, he waved it about in front of her with experienced precision. In seconds, the American girl was as naked as the day she was born, and also poorer a couple thousand ⸢Col⸥. Johnny had first used his 'Trade away a person's stuff while they were paralyzed' trick on Diavel, and in the few days between now and then he had gotten quite a bit better at it. His poisons had also improved somewhat, making the task easier still.

Job done, Johnny stepped back just as the American girl regained her ability to move. She blushed and her arms shot to cover herself. Johnny smirked at her, pulling out the spare pair of panties she had kept in her inventory (but not equipped yet) and spinning them around his hand.

"Accept my deal, and I'll let you leave with all your ⸢Col⸥ and even some weapons. Refuse, and you go back broke and with no weapons. I wonder how long it would take you to farm up enough money to purchase new clothes with no weapons?" Johnny gave his ultimatum cheerily. "You've got thirty seconds to either be on your knees in front of me with any clothes you've got left in a pile in front of you, or I'll assume you'd rather have the other option."

A hurried discussion between the ninja ensued, with much arguing and waving of arms. In the end, though, they acquiesced to his demands, albeit with much bitterness. One of the twins—the one who had been pinned to the wall and was now released courtesy of her sister—the girl with long black hair, and the American knelt in front of him.

No clothes sat in front of the American girl, which was to be expected considering that Johnny had already taken all of her stuff. The long black haired girl had a few pairs of underwear (Modest, just like the garments she had used to wear, and in bright pastel colours usually with bows or stripes. The kind of stuff a child would wear.) and more socks than Johnny had ever thought he'd see. She noticed him looking and blushed. Well, blushed more, as her face was already a fiery red as she knelt in front of him, naked as the day she was born.

"I, er, accidentally bought too many," she muttered quietly. Johnny moved on with a shrug. Hey, it wasn't like he hadn't put in one zero too many before. Admittedly, it had been a long time since he made such a newbie mistake, but this girl seemed like a bit of a clutz. She'd actually been the only people to score a really decent hit on him, flailing as she tripped backwards over a rock. She'd chunked out about a tenth of his health in one shot. Of course, he'd quickly descended on her and shredded her clothes as she lay helpless on the ground, but still. Lucky shots could kill a person just as effectively as well aimed ones. Less reliable, but none the less deadly.

The twin who had been pinned to the wall had one or two pairs of lacy undergarments in black and white—and Johnny really got the feeling that she and her sister were going for a bit of a black and white theme—and nothing else.

Soon enough these three were joined by the other twin who stripped off her damaged underwear and dropped to her knees next to her sister, tossing her spare clothes in front of her with a glare. Her pile of clothes looked much the same as her sister's, though there were at least a few outfits thrown in so that it wasn't just spare underwear.

The short haired girl did the same, her bra coming off and revealing a nice perky set of breasts that, while not the largest, were nice and firm. She too fell into the line after placing her clothes in front of her. It was… pretty much what Johnny would expect. Quite a few sports bras and boyshorts, mostly in duller greens and yellows and blues. Other than that, it was mostly shirts and pants. No skirts or dresses. Which made sense, as she definitely seemed like the tomboy type to Johnny.

The last one to join her sisters-in-arms was Green Girl. The bandages around her chest were unravelled to reveal slight swells, at least in comparison to the others. In reality, she was probably about high A, maybe low B. Her panties too were removed and joined the random assortment of clothes in front of her. Which, honestly, looked more like what you'd find in a cosplayer's clothing bins.

Johnny clapped his hands together. "Okay, good, good. Now. I want you all to say 'I'm sorry for bothering you and for being arrogant enough to challenge you Master Johnny and Miss Rat.' Got it?"

Argo, who had been silent most of this time spoke up. "Oi, how come ya get ta be Master, an' I'm only a Miss?"

"Well…" Johnny turned to her. "I'd say because you were useless and needed my help to get out of this situation?"

"Fair enough," Argo grumbled. "But come on, I ain't a combat build, ya know?"

Johnny ignored her complaints and turned back to the ninja expectantly, tapping his foot in annoyance. They glanced at each other. Each girl was flushed with humiliation, but still, they bent their heads low, pressing their foreheads to the ground. Johnny quite enjoyed the view as it caused their breasts to swing underneath their bodies like a cow's udders. He should try that on Wendy next time they met. It should be both fittingly humiliating and also thematic for the floor they were on.

He was pulled from his thoughts by all six girls speaking in unison. "I'm sorry for bothering you and for being arrogant enough to challenge you Master Johnny and Miss Rat!" they all cried out. Johnny was surprised with how heartfelt it was. Though the twins clearly didn't like him, from how much both had been glaring at him the entire time, their apologies seemed just as genuine as the others.

Shrugging, he nodded in approval. "Well, that was a lot better than I expected. You know what? Just for that, I'll even let you wear underwear on your trek to the ⸢Monument of Life⸥."

The American girl glanced up at him. "When you're roleplaying, you don't do things by half, right? You beat us fair and square, so we'll take our punishment honestly."

Johnny laughed at that. "Ha, a person after my own heart. If you're going to roleplay, don't do it by halves, that just makes you a little bitch." The boy paused. "Hey, do you mind not, er, telling people what my name is if they ask why you're running through the ⸢Town of Beginnings⸥ half naked. I know I introduced myself, but that was just so I could be dramatic and what not."

Chuckling the American girl nodded. "Sure, sure. Though only if you don't mind us being arrogant enough to try and reclaim our honour at some point in the future."

"Sure thing," Johnny agreed readily. It was always nice to have more playmates for his games.

"Though if we do…" the American girl narrowed her eyes. "You'd better not threaten our leader, Isuke, again, I will personally rip off your limbs and throw you into the ⸢Black Iron Jail⸥ myself, weapons or no, clothes or no."

Johnny took the threat in stride. "Your leader really is lucky to have found such a dedicated group of roleplayers and friends, you know?" the boy commented. "Well, grab whatever underwear you want and your leader and get out of here. I have a rat to deal with, you know?"

The American girl winced, glancing over at where Argo was suddenly looking a lot less cheerful about their predicament. "I'd almost feel sorry for you, Information Broker. Until I remember that you're the reason for our troubles in the first place."

Argo sighed. "If you really want to know where the ⸢Unarmed Combat⸥ skill is, come find me after all this is over and I'll tell you. For a price, of course, but I'll do it all the same."

Slipping on a lacy black bra that she had stolen from one of the twins and a matching pair of black panties taken from the other twin (as her own clothes were still in Johnny's possession and the boy seemed to have no intentions of giving them back), the American girl shouldered her leader's comatose form and smiled slightly. "Well, guess this day wasn't a complete waste. Come, Fuumaningun! Onwards to fulfil our mission!"

The other ninja quickly grabbed what underwear they wanted—black and white lace for one twin, white and black lace for the other; bright pink with darker pink polka dots for the long-haired girl; a dark blue sports bra and boyshorts for the short haired girl; and bandages and plain white panties that looked straight out of an old school anime for the boyish chunni. Blushing somewhat, though not near as much as they had been before, the party set off on their long trek. Johnny estimated it should take them about half a day of walking to arrive at their destination. He wondered how many people would see them on the way back. Hopefully quite a few.

Still, he had more pressing matters to deal with. He turned his attention to Argo, who had just recovered from her paralysis. The girl stepped back nervously as he turned his attention to her. "Hey now," the girl said, "we don't have to do anything so humiliating to me, right?"

Johnny smirked. "Have to? Nah. Want to? Yes, absolutely. So, first things first… I want you to send Kirito-kun a dozen pictures of you naked, in the most humiliating positions you can think of."

"...in my underwear," Argo countered.

Johnny tilted his head in mock confusion. "I'm not sure if you exactly understand the art of negotiating. Which is strange for an info broker."

Argo grit her teeth in annoyance. He was right though. "Fine. Two dozen pictures, and you can watch me take them. But in my underwear."

"In your most embarrassing pair of underwear," was Johnny's response.

"...Fine," Argo agreed, though she wasn't pleased. "That's one favour. What's next?"

Johnny thought about it for a few seconds. "From now on, you wear skirts or dresses… and no shorts underneath."

Argo sighed. Her typical outfit was usually baggy brown pants or occasionally shorts. But almost never dresses or skirts. Those tended to make her feel a bit exposed, especially considering she liked to be mobile. Parkour was quite hard to do if everytime you did anything you flashed anybody nearby. Still, Argo nodded in agreement. She didn't hate dresses, so she could probably find some that worked. Though no shorts underneath was a dick move. Well, she'd make do. She'd just have to be more careful about how she moved.

"And finally…" Johnny pointed a finger dramatically at Argo. "You have to sell me any information I ask for at whatever you honestly consider to be a fair price, with no personal bias, no matter what, unless you don't know the information I ask for."

"Deal." That last one didn't sound so bad to Argo. She prided herself on being an honest information broker after all. There wasn't anything she wouldn't sell information on…

"So, what are your three sizes?" Johnny asked. Argo flinched. Except for stuff like that. Dammit. That was the kind of info she only teased Kirito about selling. She didn't actually want anybody to know… though if Kirito ever actually accepted her teasing offers… no, no! Argo shook her head to clear her mind. She couldn't get distracted.

She sent a trade window to Johnny. It was a fair bit of ⸢Col⸥, but nothing completely unreasonable. Johnny accepted the deal and Argo cringed. She had hoped he wouldn't have the cash. "Bust 78cm-Waist 52cm-Hips 80cm," she rattled off once she confirmed the payment.

"Eh…" Johnny stared at the girl. "Hard to tell in those baggy clothes of yours. Why don't you lose them? Day's a wasting after all. Better to send those pics to Kirito-kun earlier than later, right?"

Pulling up her HUD, Argo punched a few buttons angrily, twitching as she felt the underwear she was wearing be replaced with a different pair. Though one could equip and unequip items in their menus, Argo, like most players, preferred to do it manually. Little things like that kept a person feeling human in this world. That said, there was no way she was changing in front of JB. It was humiliating enough that she had to strip to her underwear.

She could count the people who had seen her undressed on one hand. There was, of course, the usual people. Her parents, medical professionals, and this one kid who had stuck his head in the stall as she was changing at the pool. Though, he had been like, five or something, so he hardly counted. Yeah, this wasn't something she was used to.

Argo angrily punched a button on her HUD and her outer clothes disappeared into a shower of polygons. She was left standing in a matching set of bright pink panties and bra, both dotted with smiling chibi cats. It was a set that wouldn't have looked out of place on a child, and considering Argo's fairly underdeveloped body, she totally looked like a kid.

Another few button presses summoned a ⸢Recording Crystal⸥ in her hand. It floated towards Johnny her as she assumed a pose, blushing furiously as Johnny laughed at her. This couldn't be over soon enough…

"Good, good. But spread your legs just a little more… perfect!"

"Yer an ass, ya know that?"

"And you've got a nice ass. Kirito-kun'll appreciate it."

"...I swear, I'm gonna stick a knife up yer ass, JB."

"Speaking of asses, I think that's enough shots like that. Maybe a few of your chest? Oh, don't look so embarrassed, it's not like there's anything there."

"Hate ya. So much."

"Come on, don't be like that. You've got a… an athletic build? Ooh, right! Need a shot of your navel!"

And so the shoot went, with one member thoroughly embarrassed and the other having a whale of a time. But all good things must come to an end. As soon as the two dozen shots were done, Argo re-equipped her clothes as fast as she could.

Once redressed, Argo wrote up a quite message to Kirito complaining about his taste in friends, sending it along with the ⸢Recording Crystal⸥ of the photos.

"There. Done," Argo muttered. "It's sent. Now can ya leave me alone, or are ya gonna try and embarrass me any more?"

Johnny shook his head. "No, that's enough for now. Pleasure doing business with you, Rat." A ping on his HUD caught Johnny's attention. A message from Kirito. Opening it, Johnny sighed in mock sadness. "Ah, it seems my antics have raised Kirito-kun's ire. I'm… I'm just going to delete him from my friends list so he can't find me. So, when he comes looking for me, just tell him that I'm fine and am hiding from him temporarily. 'Kay, Rat?"

"Fine, you little shit," Argo agreed, still red in the face, though somewhat recovered. "Ki-bou'll find you anyways."

"Sure, sure," Johnny agreed. "But it'll take him longer. And I'm not really in the mood for a lecture about common decency right now. Besides, Kirito-kun's such a hypocrite. I mean, I doubt he's actually deleted the pictures you sent him, so who's he to complain?"

Argo blushed. "Oi, Ki-bou will have deleted them. He's a nice kid, unlike you."

Johnny grinned at her. "Well, sure. But he's still a guy. Don't believe me? Ask him if he's deleted them. Guarantee he'll blush but not answer~." Johnny threw a salute towards Argo and spun around and dashed for the canyon wall. "See you around, Rat."

"I'd be fine with not doing that," Argo griped, turning to head back towards her previous destination. She'd been wanting to check to see if the Moomins, a ⸢Mini-boss⸥ pair were still where they'd been in the beta before being accosted by those ninja wannabes. And, while all she really wanted to do right now was go back to her room and bury her face in a pillow and forget the humiliating events of today, she still had a job to do. People's lives depended on it, after all.

Long chapter. Late chapter? Both. So, I abbreviated Johnny and Argo's photo shoot because this chapter is late as is and that would have delayed it even more. Yeah. Anyone remember the Moomins? Never understood that comic. Liked it, never understood it.

Short little dialogue snippet. Kirito and Johnny once Kirito finally caught Johnny.

"JB. You can't… you can't just go around doing shit like that!"

"Did you delete the pictures?"

"...This isn't about me!"

"So… you didn't. Well then, which one was your favourite? I liked the one from the back where she was bent over that rock… or maybe the one where she was stretching?"

"The stretchin… no, wait! That's not the point!"

"What you're saying is that you'll delete the pictures then? If you disagree with how you came into possession of them, then do it."

"..."

"Knew it! Called it! So you can't lecture me about it then!"

"...Goddamnit JB."

"Primary school debate club, bitches!"

"Oh? You took debate? Well… I took kendo. It's been a while since I did it, but I think I still remember some of the moves…"

"H-hey now, you can't just hit me because you lost-ow! That hurts!"

"Stay still, JB!"

"No! Asuna, help me!"

"I'm not helping you, pervert! Why'd I get dragged here anyways Kirito?"

"You probably just tagged along so you could stick with Kiri-ouch! My shin! That's not a legal kendo move!

The NPC's watched the two boys fight, Asuna cradling her head in her hands. She was surrounded by perverts and idiots.

Sash: Wahhhh~ I've been replaced with Grammarly~ (jk, I mostly help with the stuff Grammarly doesn't pick up on, but Morgan's now gotten around to running his stories through it before and after I edit them.) As a note, I don't think that Grammarly can replace knowing how to write or having an editor, but it certainly helps, especially for spelling, context, and when you write with different conventions. Stupid Morgan and his stupid British English…