Slipping through the door of their room, Lexa paused as she saw Clarke lying on their bed, propped up on her elbow as she read a book.
Padding over to her, she tugged the book away, kissing her wife before whispering against her mouth, "Come with me."
Grinning at the mischievous look Lexa was giving her, Clarke rolled to the side, her feet hitting the ground.
Before she could even finish tying the laces of her shoes, Lexa had caught hold of her hand, pulling her along.
"Come on." She urged hurriedly, practically running down the corridor with Clarke in tow.
"What are you doing?" Clarke laughed, as Lexa shushed her, pushing the other girl into a small side room that Clarke had never seen before.
Shaking her head, Lexa held a finger to her lips as she carefully peered out through the crack in the door to make sure no one had seen them, when she was certain she turned back to Clarke, "I don't want anyone else finding out about this."
Tilting her head to the side, Clarke just watched her curiously as Lexa began ferreting around behind a set of drapes that hung on the wall opposite the door, "Finding out about what?"
Ignoring the question, Lexa pulled back the drapes victoriously, revealing the ladder set into the alcove behind them, hidden by the thick cloth that had been in front of it.
"Where does that go?" Clarke asked, walking over to her wife and leaning into the alcove to look up the ladder, which disappeared into darkness."
"Follow me." Lexa whispered, catching hold of the ladder and beginning to climb, swiftly and surely, quickening her pace when she heard Clarke begin to follow suit.
Counting under her breath as they went, she eventually paused, calling down for Clarke to wait.
Reaching above her head, she caught hold of a metal bar, tugging it to the side with some difficulty, before pushing with all her strength straight up.
The hatch swung open and she climbed out quickly, offering her hand to Clarke.
As the other girl finally saw where they were she was rendered speechless, staring out across the entire city from the roof of the tower.
"Well?" Lexa asked softly, wrapping her arms around Clarke's waist from behind, "What do you think?"
"I think it's beautiful." Clarke told her honestly, "I didn't think it was possible to come up here."
Eyes sparkling with amusement, Lexa pulled her down to sit against a stone ledge, so they could lean back comfortably, far enough from the edge that they would be in no danger of falling.
"How did you think we relit the fire after a storm?"
Shaking her head, Clarke just laughed, "I'd never thought about it."
Humming in the back of her throat, Lexa nodded her head, "Only two people are permitted to know how to get up here, Heda and the person who maintains the fire."
"Three now." Clarke chuckled, "You're always breaking the rules for me."
"You're worth breaking rules for." Lexa whispered, leaning her head against Clarke's shoulder.
They both fell silent, enjoying cool night air, the gentle crackling of the fire at the point of the tower keeping them warm even that high up.
"Do you know what Ellipsism is?" Lexa asked eventually, eyes closed as she curled into Clarke's side.
Shaking her head, Clarke wrapped her arm around Lexa's shoulders, "No, what?"
Lexa sighed, "It's the word for the sadness that you'll never be able to know how history turns out."
Glancing down at the head of brunette hair that was hiding the face of her wife, Clarke gently rubbed circles against Lexa's shoulder with her thumb, "Have you been thinking about that a lot?"
She felt Lexa nod against her ribs, "I worry for the future, yet I am proud of what we're building. But what causes me most distress it that we'll never know."
"Know what?" Clarke questioned gently.
"Whether any of it was worth anything."
Tapping Lexa on the head gently until she turned her face upwards to look at Clarke's face, Clarke shook her head firmly, "Even if we die tomorrow and then the world ends the very next moment, every moment of this, right here is worth everything." She spoke intensely, "Do you understand me?"
Lexa frowned, "We fight every day, if there's no positive outcome then it was all for nothing."
"No." Clarke denied, "Fighting for something better is what makes it worthwhile, fighting for the hope of what we can make the future into. No matter what happens, you, me, we've changed the future irreversibly. Our ideals, our choices, our failures, our victories, all of them shape what comes next."
Settling back against Clarke's side thoughtfully, Lexa sighed, "Maybe…yes, I suppose your right. I would like to see for myself though."
Clarke chuckled, raising her hand to begin combing through Lexa's hair, massaging the scalp as Lexa practically began purring like a cat. "Well that's just life, we can't know. Maybe we're not meant to. If we knew, we would do things differently and the future we knew would be changed anyway."
Clarke could practically feel Lexa smiling, even though she couldn't see her face, "Anyway," She told Lexa, "Seeing as how you seem to have been picking up new, obscure words, do you have any more?"
"Sonder."
"Ok," Clarke laughed, "I can't even begin to guess that one, what does it mean?"
"The realization that every passer-by has a life as vivid and complex as your own." Lexa answered softly.
Clarke was rendered silent as she considered it, "We are so small." She whispered eventually.
Grinning, Lexa sat up, "That one gave me pause as well. The idea that we are just a small part of other people lives. Imagine the life of someone in Floukru who has seen us just once, that's all we are to them, a brief glimpse and then lost in a sea of other experiences. Their lives spilling out into thousands of others, in the connections that link people together, all of whom in turn cannot comprehend the complexity of our lives just as we can't comprehend theirs."
Groaning, Clarke slumped back, holding her hand over her eyes, "I think you've given me a headache."