Love in times of Coronavirus
Life definitely had a dark sense of humor. Her first action as the Chief of Surgery was getting rid of those killing 36 hours shifts that Andrews implanted when he was president of the hospital. But now, after almost a year in charge of her department, she was entering the hospital for a 36 hours shift she implemented herself. More like 48 hours shift, actually, because she had a morning full of meetings and planning she was not looking forward to. But the thought of spending the rest of her shift at the ER gave her a rush of adrenaline that got her through her morning. After all, this was a good time to be a Adrenaline junkie who loves her job.
To say her morning was bad was an understatement. After waking up to the (not news) News of the President saying something racist and very ignorant, she was stopped by the police two times on her way to the hospital to ask for her credentials and inquiring why she was out in a quarantined city. All in sake of the safety of the population, she consoled herself. But that amount of cops meant more control at the streets, which meant that she couldn't ride her bike at the speed she needed to be able to relax. To Audrey Lim, the feeling of the wind embracing her body as she rushed through the streets was her way of meditation. And the roads were almost empty, which was perfect to try to beat her speed limit without risking anybody. But there were bloody cops fucking everywhere.
And then, when she was in the line at the Hospital's cafeteria, an old woman settled her face mask and moved further from her when she noticed her ethnicity. Racism at its finest.
Her morning meetings didn't go any better. Despite the efforts California's government made and the measures that were taken, the virus seemed to be winning the battle. Every day the contagious rate grew more and more, and every day they had to lament countless new deaths.
And Audrey had to admit, after all she saw all the ways the virus could attack, she was scared.
And it didn't help that her pulmonary function was lowered since the last virus outbreak that she unluckily cached.
That led her to serious and awful talks with her boss and her staff regarding her health, and she couldn't help but feel that everyone was condescending to her.
But the worst of them all was Neil. Their discussions about the topic were more on the lines of a full on fight.
"You shouldn't be here at the hospital" "You are not suited for the job right now" and "For God's sake, Audrey, Why can't you stop being so stubborn and take care of yourself for once in your life?". His words still hurted her.
But she couldn't help the hopeful glinch she felt too. She knew him well, his fight didn't mean he didn't trust her capacities; it meant that he still cared about her. Even after she broke things up, even after months of being apart.
At the end, they both compromised. She would keep on working, doing mainly office work and working at the ER only with trauma patients, not allowed to get into the Respiratory wing. She would have to have a Chest X-Ray and a PCR every two weeks. And she would have to wear a mask everywhere, which wasn't a problem because in the current state of the virus outbreak it was mandatory to be wearing a mask at all times, for everyone. She didn't compromise because of him, thought, she did it because she wasn't suicidal; she knew her limits and she acted upon them.
Meanwhile Neil promised to stay away from her office unless they had a meeting, mostly for her peace of mind. He also promised to stay at home, and not wander around the hospital, when he wasn't on call. But soon enough they discovered that the virus caused pulmonary embolism and kidney failure in more than a few cases, so he was at the hospital on an almost daily basis.
But well, when they chose this path they knew that there was a small possibility that something like this would happen. And they both loved being able to be helpful in these very dark times.
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When she finally reached the ER room, with all the right personal protection elements on, she found the room close to colapsing.
The room was smaller than usual, because they had to divide the ER between Respiratory and non Respiratory emergencies. And they were working shorthanded, because most of the staff moved on to the other room, that she knew was even crowder than her one.
That would be fine if people weren't so stupid. But it seemed as the more time people spent at home, the stupider they became. She lost the count of the number of patients that arrived with half a finger off, a broken wrist or arm because they were fixing something around the house with an emery or a hammer. Or the broken legs and ribs because someone tried to fix something in their roof. And the teeneagers that went in because something went wrong with the last TikTok challenge.
The worse cases were the ones where violence was involved. Within the quarantine passed, the Covid cases weren't the only statistic that grew. Everyday they would receive women and children beaten up by the husband of the house. Those were the worst cases she had to work on.
She reached the nursing station only to find a certain doctor looking over her. Even though he was wearing a mask, his eyes betrayed him: she could easily notice that he was smiling at her.
"Dr. Lim!" he greeted "There is a broken knee, two broken hips, an amputated finger which bleeding Reznick was able to control and a boy who swallowed a few coins waiting for you"
Audrey noticed that he only mentioned cases that didn't evolve lungs, heart or other internal organs. She thought about pulling rank and telling him she was able to choose her patients by herself, but after that awful morning she was not in the mood for fighting.
"Thank you, Dr. Melendez. Dr. Browne, Dr. Reznick, it's good to see you are here to help me here through the apocalypse" She smiled at the residents "Unfortunately, Dr. Brotzman was asked to help at the other wing and Dr. Flores called me this morning saying she was having a fever, so until she get her PCR results back this shift is up to us, and Dr. Melendez that kindly offered to help until a thrombus affects one of the Infected patients. If it happens, and I'm saying if and not when because this ER doesn't seem to be able to afford losing more doctors, Dr. Reznick would stay here and Dr. Browne would only assist Neil if it's strictly necessary"
He didn't seem to catch his name slipped, so she said "Okay, what are we waiting for, let's get to work!"
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After several and very exhausting hours, most of the patients were stable. She only had to perform two surgeries for the life threatening cases, but most of her patients could go home and wait till the chaos passed to get their surgery. The new quarantine protocol meant the OR were only for the patients in critical conditions, and whoever could wait, would wait.
Luckily, Flores PCR was negative so joined them late in the afternoon. It was good to have another pair of helping hands. Besides, Neil only had to go to OR to handle a patient with mesenteric necrosis and went to surgery two hours ago, so he probably would be back at the ER soon. Against all odds she finally had no patients left and could finally rest her tired legs.
But just as she was sitting, a paramedic rushed into the ER carrying a young girl, with her desperate mom following them.
Lim rushed to the entrance to assist as the paramedic told her "Marleene Green, 14 years old female, falled from her balcony at the third floor, seems to be having a contusion in her head and more than a few ribs broken"
"She is having a Flair Chest. I need a Chest tube and page the OR to tell them we are on our way" Lim yelled.
"No! Get away from my child!" the mother suddenly yelled
Despite the yelling, Dr. Lim proceeded with the intubating and it took every inch of patience she had to calmly say "Your daughter is in serious respiratory failure, we need to take it to the OR ASAP or she won't make it. So please, let me do my job and save your daughter" She added a little more harshly that she intended.
"Get your dirty hands off my daughter! Get away from her or I'm suing the hospital" the woman yelled "It's your fault... It's your people who brought the disease, your filthy people have all the fault"
Lim was ready to respond but someone was faster.
"Don't you dare to talk to Dr. Lim like that, you racist scum" Morgan said "She is the Chief of Surgery and the best trauma surgeon in the country, and honestly she is the only doctor that can save your daughter right now, so you either lower your tone or left your daughter to dies here"
Lim was startled to see the young resident step ahead to defend her, and at the same time she felt a rush of admiration and pride. Sure, they would have a lot of legal aspects to deal about later, but right now they had a girl to help.
"Go ahead, sue us. But we are treating your daughter you want it or not" Lim added as she pushed the girl outside the room "Reznick, Brown, you are assisting"
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She was waiting outside the OR as Morgan and Claire were prepping the girl. She wished she could wash her face to try to gain some composure, but all the protection gear she was wearing made it impossible, so deep breath would have to be enough.
"Dr. Lim" Browne said softly, entering the room "the patient is almost ready"
"Then what are you doing here? You should be helping Morgan"
"I just wanted to be sure you were okay. That was hard to see, I can't even imagine how you must be feeling right now" She said, placing a comforting hand on her bosses shoulder.
"I can't say it was easy, and I can't say it was the first time something like this happened to me" Lim responded, her voice sounded more affected that she intended "But I'm going to do everything I can to save that girl. It's not her fault she have an racist and uneducated mother"
Claire seemed to be considering what to say next before blunting out "I admire you so much. I mean, I did it before, but the calm, focus and composure you kept in that situation it's nothing but admirable. And I finally get why you were so ademant about me treating that nazi on my first year".
"We are not white. Racism is something we sadly would encounter more than once in our lives".
Claire looked at the patient through the window and added "You would treat her the same way, right? I mean, If it was the mother who was on the table".
"Of course I would" the doctor said, finally entering the OR.
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Luckily, the surgery was a success. It had been a hard one and they almost lost the girl two times, but against all odds they were able to save her.
Audrey was cleaning herself, and for the first time in her whole career she found herself trying to build up the patience and temperance to go tell a mother that her child's surgery went right and she was out of danger.
Her two residents were already cleaned up, waiting by the door as if they were her personal bodyguards. And judging by Reznick body language, she was up and ready for the second round. At the same time Claire was looking over her boss, concerned. Although Audrey thought it was sweet to realize both of the young doctors cared so much, she was about to tell them to calm down a little, because they didn't know what was waiting for them outside, when Neil Melendez appeared through the door.
"Could you give me a moment with Dr. Lim?" The residents left the room giving them space to talk.
"I'm okay" She said abruptly, maybe too abruptly.
"The nurses told me what happened. I was worried" He said looking at her with concern
"Really, Neil, I'm okay. It isn't the first time this has happened to me and it certainly won't be the last time" She replied, putting on a poker face but she was sure her voice betrayed her. He could see right through her.
"I wish I had been there to put her in her place"
"I'm pretty sure I don't need a knight in shining armor, Neil. And besides, Morgan played the role very... passionately" She added, still amused about her resident.
"I heard that, remind me to buy her a bucket of flowers when this whole pandemic thing is over"
She just laughed and rolled her eyes at the commentary.
Audrey looked over at him, who still was staring with a concern look. Despite what happened between them, it was great to notice he was still by her side. She could rely on him, and she was thankful for that.
She was afraid of appearing vulnerable, but if they were going to be friends (or something else, she secretly hoped) thay had to have healthy communication. That was what broke them the first time.
She took a deep breath and said "Neil, it was traumatic. This whole pandemic it is being traumatic for everyone, but experiencing that level of discrimination it's not something I would ever forget".
"Okay, come here" he said, opening his arms to embrace her.
She instinctively walked towards him but stopped mid step "Wait. Social distancing" she told him, taking a step back.
He left out a laugh that didn't hide his disappointed look, and said "Social distancing. It's good to see you are actually caring about yourself" he added with a smile.
"Yeah, look at me, being mature and responsible with my health and wellbeing for the first time"
"Now we just have to make sure you actually eat a proper meal every day and you get rid of that deathly machine you call a bike, and I would be finally able to sleep at night".
"In your dreams, asshat. The bike's with me until the day I day" She could hear him laughing as she walked out the door, feeling a lot better than before. Wanting it or not, she still had a very difficult conversation ahead.
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This is getting comical, Audrey thought as she felt the two residents getting closer, with Neil behind, as they approached the still very angry looking mom.
"Misses Green, the surgery was a success, your daughter is recovering steadily and should be by her room in the morning". This didn't seem to calm the woman in front of her, as she was looking more avid than before, so before she could say anything Audrey added "Now you have two options. Either you wait for your daughter inside the room not bothering me or my staff, or security gently escorts you outside the building and we call you when we get an update".
"You.. you can't tell me what to do, you nasty ch!nk"
She heard three voices yell "Hey!" from behind, but before anyone could add something else that would only fuel the situation, she calmly said "Security it is, then" gesturing to the patrolman to control the situation.
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She couldn't wait to get home. What a hell of a day she had. At least, the few hours left she had after the incident were calmer, but she hated the pity looks and patronizing tones she was getting everywhere.
So she was thankful to be finally heading to the lab to get a sampler for her PCR test (part of the commitment she made). Well, not exactly thankful, because having a hyssop scratching your throat is not exactly a pleasing feeling. But at least it was the last thing to do before heading home to get a full day and night of very well deserved sleep.
As she walked through the main hall her eyes wandered, unconsciously looking for a certain familiar face, but according to the schedule he should be in the middle of a surgery right now.
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A warm shower can always clean up a bad day, her mother used to tell her. And even though she hated the feeling of hot water in her skin, she set the water hotter than she was used to. After all, it had been a very bad day and there was a lot to clean up.
She was starting to dry her hair, already with her pajamas on, when she heard the doorbell ringing.
Her face lit up when she found a certain handsome doctor holding two sheets of paper.
"Neil! What are you doing here? And what are those?"
"This is your latest PCR result" he handled her one of the sheets "And this is my PCR result" passing the other one "We are both negative, we are not infected"
She raised her eyebrows but before she could say something he added.
"I wanted to be sure It was safe to do this" And he finally closed the distance between them and kissed her.
When they finally broke the kiss, she noticed the adoration within his eyes. She would be lying to say she didn't like every way he looked at her, but that particular look of lust and love and pure adoration melted her.
"Why now?" she suddenly asked, breaking the heavy atmosphere between them.
"Well, the world seems to be ending. I figure we should spend our time with the people we love" He kissed her again. And again.
"Goognight, Audrey" he finally said, with a last peck.
"Wait, where are you going? Stay, please"
"I figured we are both too tired to... You know.." he gestured abstractly with his hands.
"To have sex?" she said amused by his unusual bashfulness "Yeah, we definitely are. But stay, we both could use the company and I always sleep better by your side"
He just smiled and nodded, taking her hand, and getting inside. He tried to lead them to her bedroom when her hand stopped him.
"Wait, what are you doing? Shoes go in the box outside, your clothes go in the basket and you go straight to the shower".
"Who are you and what did you do to Audrey Lim?" he laughed.
"Shut it, I'm just trying to not get sick!"
He didn't miss the heated way she looked at him while he took off his shirt, so he made the most of it taking his time.
"So much to get me naked" he teased.
She just smiled. The world might be a dark place, but she was certainly feeling less lonely than in the morning.
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Thank you for Reading!
I just wanted tos ay sorry if something is not accurate, I was mostly inspired on how I'm living the quarentine at the hospital I work.
Big hugs to everyone and hold on through this tough times. Stay safe, stay kind, we need each other