Here's a fun idea for all those stuck at home...especially if you're suffering from withdrawal from being unable to attend church like normal.
Start a community garden with your church and have a set limit of volunteers so that you can safely maintain the social distancing guidelines. Not only does it get you out of your house, but any food you go can be donated to local food pantries or used to make recipes once the lock-down finally ends. It also allows you to hear sermons from the priest in person again, even if their congregation is much smaller than normal.
If you like the idea, share it and start spreading kindness around!
Gilgamesh found Rhea at a local park, in an area surprisingly devoid of normal humans.
"What on earth are you doing?" he asked.
"Enjoying the sunshine of your garden, My King," said Rhea. "Care to join me?"
"I have no need of such frivolous use of my time."
"And yet you have claimed to be bored. Not everything has to be exciting to be enjoyable, you know."
Gilgamesh looked at her oddly.
"What do you mean by that?"
"You claim that this is your garden...but have you ever actually time out of your day to properly enjoy it?"
From his expression, she would take that as a "no".
She smiled and pulled Gilgamesh down to where she was sitting.
Gilgamesh humored her, and allowed her to guide his actions.
"Just lay back and empty your mind, my King. Feel the breeze as it passes, the sun upon your skin and the smell of fresh grass," said Rhea.
"Is there a point to all this?" he said.
"Why does there have to be a point? Isn't simply enjoying a beautiful day enough?" asked Rhea.
Gilgamesh closed his eyes and let his body immerse itself with the world around him. It was indeed, a pleasant feeling. Without even realizing it, he had fallen asleep under the light shade of the nearby tree. Thanks to the bounded field, the racket of the nearby park did not reach them in the slightest.
When he awoke, sometime close to sunset, it was to the pleasant realization that at some point, Rhea had also fallen asleep and had rolled over into his arms. She was nuzzled against his neck and his left arm had firmly wrapped itself around her waist.
Even in his sleep, he instinctively recognized what was his.
He could care less about Tokiomi's ire about the fact he had been in physical form for six straight hours.
The pathetic mongrel could simper and cajole all he wished...it did not change the fact that he was too pathetic for Gilgamesh to ever truly respect him.
The next afternoon
"Wait...so you actually ran over Caster with your car...and he mistook Saber as Jeanne de Arc?" said Rhea, mouth twitching.
Irisviel seemed to make it a point to track down Rhea and spend hours with her, thus forcing Saber to join her. Fortunately Rhea was a rather pleasant conversationalist and had zero interest in targeting Irisviel, as she would rather pursue Gilgamesh than the Grail.
Even if she did take far too much amusement in trying to get Saber to lighten up and would tag team against the Servant with Irisviel to dress her up in all sorts of outfits.
(Kiritsugu had choked a bit seeing Saber in a sailor fuku of all things. Saber had the most mortified expression on her face.)
Rhea twitched, before she let out a long laugh.
"Dear magic, that is hilarious. He mistook an actual king for a French maiden who was guided by God to serve?" said Rhea, far too amused. "The resemblance between you must really be uncanny."
Saber looked rather annoyed.
"So did he give you any clues as to who he was?"
"He called himself Gilles de Rias," said Irisviel.
The second she said that, Rhea openly choked on her soda, and had to cough a bit to clear her lungs.
"What?!"
"You recognize the name?" asked Saber.
Rhea twitched.
"Gilles de Rias, aka Bluebeard. He's a man known throughout history for serving alongside Jeanne de Arc and committing countless atrocities after she was martyred on the stake by the clergy," said Rhea twitching. "If he's here as a Caster, then that explains why so many children have been going missing of late."
Saber sat up straight at that.
"Are you sure?"
"I bet you anything the Church will set a bounty on him sooner, rather than later. He's become far too high profile for a supposedly 'secret' war."
Rhea wasn't about to allow a monster that targeted the innocent go free, Magi ritual or not. Call it a pet peeve if you will, but she refused to sit back and let such a thing continue if she had the power to do something about it.
Sighing, Rhea decided to change the subject.
"So Iris, how are you liking the outside world?"
"It's so fascinating! There's so many things to see and try out!" said Iris enthusiastically.
"I know right? How much exotic food have you tried?" asked Rhea, an impish gleam appearing in her eyes.
"What are you planning?" asked Saber, eyes narrowing.
"Want to prank her husband without being obvious about it?" asked Rhea.
"Prank how?"
"Tell me, my dear Saber...have you ever heard of a food called 'rocky mountain oysters'?" said Rhea.
Saber and Iris blinked, but when Rhea explained what they were, a slight twitch of dark amusement crossed Saber's face.
Oh yes, it would be somewhat entertaining to see the expression on Kiritsugu's face hearing his wife wanted to try such a dish. In her time, people ate anything and everything they could, including the organs of animals.
In these times, humanity was far more picky and selective about what they ate, due to the abundance of food. So the odds of Kiritsugu running into the more esoteric dishes were rather slim.
Gilgamesh had to pause when he walked into Rhea's home.
He could fully blamed that on the fact that for once, she was wearing a rather flattering dress that covered everything it should and did nothing to overly flaunt her figure.
While Enkidu had been androgynous by default, and wore clothing to reflect that, Rhea was decidedly a female. Her figure was modest, but made it clear what her gender was at a glance. Her long green hair was put up in a slightly messy ponytail, and just barely brushed her backside whenever she walked.
Gilgamesh eagerly burned the sight into his mind, taking note of every detail he could.
"Ah Gil! Did you notice I was cooking something from that boring mansion, or is this a happy coincidence."
Gilgamesh walked in with a slight swagger, and took note of the many different dishes she was making.
"What is all this?"
"I told Iris I would help her test to see how squeamish her husband is. That and it means I get to try out several of the dishes I've heard about but never had a chance to make."
"Oh?" said Gilgamesh with interest.
Rhea had a wicked gleam in her eyes that appealed to him greatly.
"Feel free to try any of it~. If there's one thing I'm confident about it's my cooking, and if you like it, then I know for a fact that it's up to my standards," she chirped. "Besides...I'm trying to conquer Saber through her stomach. She seems to have a black hole when it comes to eating."
Challenge accepted. He carefully selected a dish and tried it out.
"Hmph... not bad, but not quite up to my royal palate," he announced.
Rhea took to the challenge immediately, altering this thing and that to see which dish appealed to Gilgamesh the best. She treated it something like a game, to be honest, and eventually started bringing out the alcohol laid down by her ancestors to see if he could come up with a proper wine pairing.
The King of Heroes had nothing but praise for her wine collection, and was more than happy to indulge whenever she brought it out since she had a rather picky palate when it came to alcohol.
By the time he returned to the Tohsaka mansion, Gilgamesh was positively stuffed and had zero complaints. He found the atmosphere relaxing and the company more than pleasant. He would openly admit he did tease Rhea slightly about her cooking...most of it did suit his preferences, but he wanted to see how much she could improve to make it even better.
In the Einzbern castle...
Kiritsugu twitched, and who could really blame him? Most, if not all of the dishes had internal organs in them...and that wasn't discounting the rocky mountain oysters.
Really, that witch Rhea was giving him quite the headache through her fondness and indulgence of Iri.
Interestingly enough, when Saber was confronted with the food her eyes seemed to sparkle, just a little.
Rhea was working with the Einzbern maids that had come with them to exchange recipes of all things.
He would admit, the food was delicious even if the contents made him squirm. The most interesting thing about the meal was Saber's reaction though.
He had always taken the King of Knights to be a dignified presence, but in face of this particular feast she seemed to attack with the unstoppable force of a tidal wave.
Kiritsugu watched as dish after dish seemed to vanish in her direction, though not before he and Iri had a chance to try some first.
Rhea seemed openly amused by this occurrence, and almost looked like she wanted to cackle when Saber finally conceded defeat...after the last dish was polished off.
Really, who would have expected someone as tiny as that to annihilate enough food to feed ten people with ease?
"Oh-ho, it seems I have defeated the great Saber though the Noble Phantasm known as 'Death by Culinary Skills'," said Rhea snickering.
"Rhea!" scolded Saber, though the belch the let off immediately after ruined it.
Irisviel giggled openly at the sight, finding it immensely amusing.
Kiritsugu would admit, this situation was rather hilarious.
Rhea was wandering around the river. Her skills in detection had alerted her that someone was using a lot of foul magics in the Fuyuki River, and considering Caster had been taking children for some unknown purpose, she couldn't just sit around and do nothing.
So you could imagine her surprise to run into Rider and his master.
"You there woman. What brings you to this place?"
"I have special skills in detection when it comes to nature. The water told me something foul was coming from the river in the center, so I came to investigate. Why are you two here?" she asked.
"I used my skills in alchemy to detect magecraft. The Church has issued a bounty on Caster because he's threatening the secrecy aspect of the Grail Wars," said Rider's Master.
"Your name was Waver, right? Which type of alchemy did you use? The kind used by mages or the kind used by wizards?" asked Rhea.
Waver blinked.
"Mages. Why?"
"Then we can discuss the differences between the two while we investigate together! If we do find Caster, it would be best to have allies, wouldn't you agree?" said Rhea sensibly. "After all, I have no interest in the Grail and we defeat him then you can honestly claim it was your doing."
"Seems fair enough," said Rider. "Hop on board, milady!"
Rhea was more interested in Gilgamesh than the Grail. That much had been obvious from their fight at the docks.
Rhea smiled at them both, making Waver blush. She was really pretty.
"So what made you join the Grail Wars?"
"I wanted to prove you didn't need to come from some long lineage to be an impressive Magus," said Waver.
Rhea blinked.
"That's it?"
"Everyone looks down on me because I'm only a third-generation Magus without any background."
"I see. Well I suppose it's a good thing you have Rider here to help you find your way then," said Rhea.
"What do you mean?"
"True warfare is neither noble nor heroic. It's a battle of survival and one of the best cases of Darwinism in action. The strong and cunning survive while the weak are culled and cowardice has a way of making itself known rather quickly. However you stood by Rider's side that first night despite the fact you were terrified and still stood tall for as long as you could. That means there is some backbone in you."
Rider laughed.
"I couldn't have said it better myself!"
Rhea smiled.
"So it's a good thing that someone who has yet to find his way and has so much potential decided to join. I bet you anything that by the end of this war, you'll have gained a much better idea of your true self and found the path that's best for you."
Waver blinked, before blushing hard.
"Thanks, I think?"
"That being said if you put on a good enough showing I'd be happy to sponsor you. From what I know of magecraft it can get expensive fast without a good backer and it's not like I'm using my gold anyway. Besides, it means you can help me with my experiments by researching magecraft for me when I can't find a solution using wizardry," said Rhea cheerfully.
She was not above exploiting Waver as her go-between when it came to Magecraft, if only to avoid being put on Clock Tower's radar.
She had no desire to end up an experiment.
"You're a witch?"
"I don't have my wand anymore, but I can cast without it just fine," said Rhea cheerfully, pretty much confirming it.
As they went deeper into the tunnel, Rhea had a bad feeling.
"You two should not look," said Rider solemnly once they arrived at the end of it.
Waver did not heed his warning... he wished he had when the light illuminated the scene around them.
"I see. So this is a taste of the depravity Caster and his Master are willing to commit. I should have expected as much from Gilles de Rias," said Rhea sadly.
She might appear the epitome of calm...if it were not for the tears streaming down her face.
"How can you be so calm about this?" demanded Waver, trying not to throw up.
"Because I have learned there is a time for sorrow...and a time to act. Rider, protect your Master while I cleanse this place of Caster's foul magic."
Rider pulled his Master closer, Waver pretending he wasn't taking comfort in Rider's presence while yelling at him.
Rhea sighed...and took the form of a phoenix. The sound of her cry seemed to break through the sorrow and despair that had sunk deep into the stone.
Using the purifying flame, she destroyed Caster's workshop and sent his many victims on to the next adventure in peace. He would find no more use of their bodies and their souls would find some solace on the other side.
She flew alongside Rider and Waver as they left the pipe.
Waver looked terrible.
"...Would you like some dreamless sleep? I have some of it brewed," said Rhea gently.
"Dreamless sleep?"
"It's a sleeping potion that allows you to sleep without any dreams and wake up rested," said Rhea.
Waver thought it over carefully. Then he shook his head.
"I think... I need to come to terms with what I saw on my own way. Just pushing it to the side will solve nothing," said Waver.
Rider looked rather proud of his young master for saying that.
"How about this then. Why don't you and Rider stay the night with me. That way you can let your full emotions out without having to worry the people you're staying with. Though you should know after seeing something like that there is no shame in taking comfort by sharing a bed with another person."
"...Are you telling me to sleep next to Rider?" asked Waver incredulous.
"Just think of him as a big muscly teddy bear," said Rhea with a straight face. "At the very least if you did, then the nightmares wouldn't be so bad because he could wake you up when they start."
Rider laughed, but said nothing against it. Indeed, if his master did take her up on the suggestion then he would say nothing about it after.
Sometimes, one needed the comfort of another body to make it through seeing such horrors.