Chapter 11. Forever in a Day
Sam marched down the hallway in the direction Daniel had just gone. He'd practically fled the Gateroom as soon as they'd gotten back from Sha're's funeral on Abydos. He'd tried to remain as stoic as possible, strong before an audience, but Sam had seen the way his fists shook; she knew he was headed for a break down.
Daniel's office door was closed. That was a bad sign; it was never closed. She knocked on it anyway, and when there was no answer, she pushed it open.
He sat on his sofa against the far wall, his head in his hands and his long frame bent almost double. She could see the slight shake in his shoulders.
"Daniel?" She asked softly, creeping a little closer.
He didn't lift his head but she distinctly heard his "Go away, Sam" mumbled into his hands.
"Daniel, it's-" She wanted to say 'it's okay', but it really wasn't, was it?
Instead, she whispered, "I'm sorry", because it felt like the only other thing she could say.
His hands moved to grip his hair, and though his head was still pointed at the ground, at least she could now see his profile. "I can't... I can't right now, Sam, I'm sorry... Please, just...just go."
She drew further into the room, keeping her footsteps silent in hopes he would not notice her approach. "Daniel, I really don't think you should be alone right-"
"GET OUT, SAM!" His head flung up, his face red and streaked with tears, the vein in his forehead bulging. Sam froze, her eyes wide, and she sucked in a sharp breath, heart pounding.
"Please..." He begged, his voice breaking as all the anger leeched out, "please, just, get out, I need to...I need to be alone...please."
He hung his head again and Sam backed up towards the door. She bit her lip as she felt behind her for the door handle, not taking her eyes off the broken archaeologist before her. She desperately wanted to be the one to bring him comfort, to smooth away the lines on his face, but there was only one with the power to do that, and she was now dead.
Maybe Sam had always been just the placeholder; the decoy.
"Alright, Daniel." She said, backing out the door, ignoring the familiar prickling behind her eyelids, "Alright."