Chapter 18. Between Two Fires
"Incoming communication!" Sergeant Harriman yelled as SG-1 and General Hammond entered the control room. "We're getting a direct transmission from a Tollan long range communication device."
Daniel strained to hear the garbled voice over the sounds of static and distant explosions.
"To get the people out... Stargate was destroyed..."
"Narim." Sam breathed. Daniel glanced over to her; her eyes were wide, her attention focussed solely on the little round speaker in the control panel.
"All defences failing..." The static seemed to be getting worse. "Our ships attempting to escape are being shot down... I just want you to know that..." The transmission died away into incoherent static, though Daniel kept staring at the speaker, hoping something else would come.
Walter shook his head, looking over his shoulder to the General. "I'm sorry, sir. That's it. The transmission just died."
Daniel grit his teeth. All those people. Gone. His gaze flicked to Sam just in time to see her turn away, her eyes glassy. She acknowledged the General, snapping off a muttered "Sir", and waited for him to dismiss her with a nod before hastily slipping out the door. He glanced to Jack, who only stared back blankly, then to Teal'c; the Jaffa raising his customary eyebrow in a look that, to Daniel, seemed somewhat expectant.
Daniel rubbed at the rough stubble on his chin. "Right. I'll…" He jerked his thumb towards the door, faltering on the words; Jack raised an eyebrow to match Teal'c's. "Right." He muttered, mostly to himself.
He hastily made his exit, striding down the hall towards Sam's lab, but when he reached it, it was empty. His frown deepening, he tried her private quarters instead. He knocked on the door and waited, his hands in his pockets.
The door creaked open. "Daniel." She sounded surprised to see him, but she shouldn't be, he thought, she should know he would come. She poked her head out and glanced up and down the hall, making sure it was empty.
"You shouldn't be here." She said, but she stepped back to allow him entry anyway.
He didn't say anything at first, just watched her as she retreated back and took a seat on the edge of her standard-issue bed, her hands clasped between her knees. After a moment, he moved cautiously forward, the bed creaking as he sat down beside her.
"Sam, I'm sorry." He said, because really, that's all he could say.
"It's happening again." She all but whispered, her shoulders hunched, her hair falling forwards and hiding her face from him.
Daniel frowned, curving his spine to try to see her. "What is?"
She finally raised her head to look at him, her bright, sapphire eyes translucent beneath the tears that spilled over her bottom lashes. "They're dead. They're all dead."
Daniel's throat tightened, and he looked away. He too, felt the horrible gnawing of guilt in his stomach. Though the Tollans had not heeded their warnings about the Goa'uld, he still felt responsible for their deaths, like he could have done something different, tried harder, anything.
"I know." He said instead, his hand reaching across for hers, fingers curling around her palm. "We did everything we could."
But she pulled away from him, jumping to her feet, her expression a mixture of anger and grief as the tears carved wet rivers down her cheeks.
"No! You don't understand! They're always going to die!"
Daniel rose slowly, his mouth agape in shock and his brows drawn in confusion. "Sam, what..." His hands raised, wanting to calm her, wanting to take her into his arms and soothe away her pain, but she was shaking her head violently.
"I'm sorry, Daniel, you can't...you can't be here."
"Sam..." He tried again, his tone pleading.
"Just leave, Daniel. Please. Just leave me alone."
He stared; her face was set in grim determination despite the tears rolling down her cheeks. A sudden sense of déjà vu hit him and his stomach sunk down into his boots as he remembered screaming at her to get out after Sha're's death.
He left. Gritting his teeth against the anguish, he left, knowing that he could not be what she needed, knowing that he could not bring her comfort, knowing that he was not the one she wanted.