Chapter 29. Icon

Twenty-three days he'd been stuck behind enemy lines, cut off from his team, his planet, his home. His injuries had healed, thanks to Leda's care, though his vision was less than ideal since he had lost his glasses in the explosion, and his shoulder still twinged on occasion, but the scabs on his face had healed well, despite his picking at them.

Daniel glanced over his shoulder at Jared Kane; the rebel commander's stoic expression was hardened, his face streaked with dirt. The perpetual frown had been etched into his face ever since they'd left the homestead, and Daniel imagined that saying goodbye to his wife, not knowing if or when he would return, was taking its toll. Their marriage may be strained, but Daniel could tell that Jared still loved Leda, and beneath the battle-hardened exterior was a good man. Daniel secretly hoped the two would reconcile – Leda deserved a good man, and despite her advances, that man was not him, could not be him.

"Leda, you were right. There is hope. Don't doubt that, please." Daniel begs of her, trying to sway her to his cause. Taking back control of the bunker from Soren was the only way to both help the people of Tegalus and to get Daniel home.
"You believe your people can help us?" Her soft, brown eyes study him, doubtful. Daniel replies without hesitation.
"Yes."
"And what if you do overthrow Soren, what then? You simply leave?" Daniel cannot respond; he has no answer that would not cause her pain. She drops her eyes from his face, fixating instead upon some unknown spot of grass over his shoulder.
"When Jared became part of Commander Gareth's inner circle, he changed – became remote, distant." She seems so far away, lost in the haunting memories that war brings. It pains Daniel to see.
"I'd forgotten what it was like just...to talk to someone." Her gaze finally flickers back up to meet his, and the depth in her warm, hazel eyes surprises him. "To feel." She almost whispers, and the guilt crashes down over him, weighing him down like lead shoes in a deep lake.
"Leda," he reaches for her hand, wanting to comfort her, wanting to assure her of his guilt, his sorrow, "I can't..."
She pulls away from his touch, and Daniel lets his hand drop awkwardly to his side.
"I understand," she nods at the ground, "this is not your home, after all."
"It's not...just that." His gaze focusses on the short blades of grass that twist in the breeze. He can sense Leda's eyes on him, but he doesn't look up.
"Your heart belongs to another." It's not really a question, and so Daniel does not answer it, but his silence is all the confirmation Leda needs.
"I see." She turns away from him to pick up the basket of washing from the ground.
"Leda-"
"I'll speak to Jared, Daniel," she interrupts, glancing back at him over her shoulder, "but he will not hear me."

"It's over." Jared declared, standing over the corpse of the fallen usurper.

"I hope so." Daniel moved to his side, his eyes trained on Soren's body. "You may have just made a martyr." He glanced up to meet Jared's steely gaze. "I had no choice. You can return to your world now."

"Kane-"

"What happened to us was not your fault." Jared spoke slowly and sternly, trying to enforce the assurance of Daniel's innocence. Daniel was not so sure he believed it. He seemed to have a habit of 'sticking his nose where it didn't belong', as Jack put it. And the outcome never seemed to be a good one.

"I know." He said instead, hoping to convince himself more than Jared. "We made a promise, and we intend to keep it. We'll be back to help you rebuild."
Jared gave a sharp nod, in thanks and solidarity, and left with his men to secure the bunker. Daniel watched them leave, his heart heavy with yet another failure on his conscience.

He sensed Sam's approach before he heard her, and immediately turned his head, drinking in the face that he briefly thought he may never see again. She looked at him with sorrow in her eyes, and Daniel noticed the dark bags beneath them. She looked almost as distressed as she had when Jack had gone MIA on Eudora, and the brief flush of satisfaction that ran through him was immediately followed by a wave of shame. Yet again, he had caused her pain. Yet again, he was the reason for her sadness.
"Daniel, are you ready to go home?" She asked gently, breaking him from his melancholy reprieve.

"Yeah." He wandered absently over to where Teal'c stood with SG-3 before the Stargate, his mind lost to dolour. The Stargate whirred to life, the open wormhole bathing them in its familiar blue light. Just as SG-3 started through the event horizon, Daniel felt a soft, warm hand slide into his, dainty fingers filling the gaps between his. She lifted her face to look up at him just as Teal'c disappeared into the shimmering, blue puddle, a soft smile pulling at her plump lips. Her smile immediately lifts the heaviness from his heart, lifting his soul out of the despair in which it perpetually wallowed. She gave his hand a brief squeeze, and together they walked towards the Stargate, their hands remaining clasped together until the last second, only parting as they leapt into the wormhole that would take them home.