Merp, I've kinda lost track of my updating schedule? *Throws updates and internet cookies*
Clary walked over to the window, running her fingers over the netting that hung over the glass, hooking one finger around the edge of the curtain and pulling it away. There was the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her and she huffed under her breath and let the curtain fall back in front of the window and turned around.
"Really?" She asked, her voice sour as she looked over at Alec, who was sitting on the couch, and looking just as unhappy in the situation as she did.
"You know Jace doesn't want you by the windows," he mumbled before he looked back at the TV, his fingers drumming impatiently on his knee. It was nearly six o'clock in the evening, and the sun was beginning to set outside, and all Clary wanted to do was go outside, and feel the last of the warmth from the sun and the cool, evening breeze. She was still pretty much restricted to the house except for when they were going to her therapy sessions with Meliorn or her weekly check ups with Catarina. Simon had actually come by twice, glaring at everyone who set foot in the room while he was visiting, and Clary was talking with Tessa on the phone a lot more.
She could almost walk completely normally now.
Stretching her arms above her head pulled her skin a bit, and bending over also made ached, but other than that, she was fine.
She wanted to get home.
She wanted to go back to her life.
And she was pretty sure that Alec, and Isabelle, and Raphael—and the rest of Jace's inner circle all wanted her to go back to her life as well, so that they didn't need to take turns babysitting her, but they wouldn't speak out against Jace.
Clary knew that he was just being overprotective, and it was just because he felt guilty about her getting hurt, and he didn't want to put her in dangers way.
But Clary needed to get back to her life, and she was going to talk to him tonight. She wasn't a kid, he couldn't keep her locked away in this safe house forever, even if his intentions were good.
A portal suddenly opened in the corner of the room, near the doorway, and Max and Jace stepped through it. Clary looked toward the two men, forcing a small smile despite how cooped up she felt as Jace instantly searched the room for her. He looked good, wearing a suit and tie—his usual work attire, but then she always thought that he looked good.
"You need me here any longer?" Alec asked as he got up from the couch, looking eager to escape the house. Clary didn't take any offence to it, though, she knew that she hadn't been the best to be around. She had run out of work to mark for her students, Tessa was going over and above to plan the lessons so she didn't have that to do that, even though she wouldn't have minded. Jace had been gone since before she woke up that morning, and so other than the hour and a half that she had been gone from the house to travel to her physiotherapist, attend her session, and then travel back to the safe house, she had had nothing to do. Which meant in turn, Alec had nothing to do.
And she wasn't exactly the best company, given how bored and restless she was.
"No, you're good to go," Jace nodded at his cousin and then over his shoulder at Max. "You guys have a good night."
"See ya, Clary," Max called from the other side of the room, shooting her a smile before disappearing back through the portal. Alec touched her on the shoulder gently as he passed by her, then slapped Jace on the arm by way of goodbye, before clicking his fingers together and disappearing. Jace turned to Clary, his face beginning to relax from the mask that he wore all day at work, but he saw something in her eyes that made him tense up again, and she almost felt bad for what she was about to do.
"What is it?" Jace asked, coming over to stand in front of her, reaching up a hand to touch her face.
"I was thinking..." Clary began, taking in a deep breath. "I was thinking about moving back into my apartment." Jace's eyebrows immediately drew together and his hand dropped to his side and he took a step back. "Jace—" she felt him withdrawing from her, his mind had been open to her, like it usually was, and he was pulling back and closing his mind off, and she knew it was because he felt hurt. "It's not you, it's not because I'm angry with you, or even necessarily want space. It's because I want my life back."
"I would just prefer it if you stayed here until we figured everything out, and until we know Sebastian is gone," Jace told her in a flat voice as he turned to walk into the kitchen. "Or dead," he muttered, so quietly that Clary was guessing she probably wasn't meant to hear it. Her eyebrows shot up at that comment, but she wasn't going to address that whole situation right now. "And I want to make sure that you're properly healed."
"I am healed," Clary told him as she followed him into the kitchen, at a slightly slower pace. "I'm not one hundred percent back to how I was, but I'm doing a lot better. I'm definitely well enough to go back to my apartment and go back to work. I'm not going to be taking any hikes to the Grand Canyon or anything, but I can get around by myself." She approached Jace, where he was standing by the sink, both hands braced against the counter, and softened her voice. "I'm not saying that I don't appreciate everything you've done for me—all of your team—it's just...I want to get back to my life."
"I understand that," Jace's words were clipped. "I would just rather you wait until this whole situation was sorted." It wasn't just that, Clary could feel this without even attempting to pry into Jace's mind.
"There's more to it than that," Clary prompted gently. Jace took in a deep breath, she saw his shoulders lift. "You know I can always just read your mind, right?" She took a step closer to him and let out a short laugh, trying to lighten the situation. Jace gave an uncomfortable laugh in response, which made her frown.
"Yeah, but I can't read yours. I don't know how you feel," Jace muttered. Clary's eyebrows just furrowed deeper at that, and she walked until she was right behind Jace, and rested her hands on his back. Despite what she said, she wasn't going to pry into his mind right now, this was the sort of thing that she wanted him to say, wanted him to explain and voice it to her, at his own pace. Jace turned around and took in another deep breath, and he took her hands in his own, clasping them together in front of his body and rubbing his thumbs gently over her knuckles.
"I love you," Jace told her, his voice steady, and his eyes boring into hers. Clary felt completely surprised at the statement, not at all what she was expecting to come from him. Jace seemed to see the surprise on her face, and he shook his head. "How can you not see that?" He asked her, his voice low and intimate, given how close they were too each other. "Everyone around us can see it, and they can't read my mind."
"I—" the word got stuck in Clary's throat. She swallowed hard, every inch of her skin sparking and feeling alive, the metal ring that she wore around her thumb pulsing. "It's not like being in love with someone is a big flashing sign..." she swallowed again, her cheeks warm and her body completely aware of the way that it was pressed right up against Jace's, his tall figure towering over her petite one. "Love is so much more complicated than that, it's a completely tangled mess, and it's a hundred different memories and thoughts, and I don't—I don't—"
"I love you," Jace repeated, cutting off her rambling and making her blink at him, her lips still parted.
"I love you too," Clary whispered, and Jace's lips quirked upward the right corner for a split second before he reached down and kissed her. It was chaste and soft, and through that connection, Clary completely opened up her mind to him, letting him in. It wasn't often that she did it, although Jace was the person that she had done it the most with, other than Simon, because most people felt completely overwhelmed when allowed into someone elses mind.
Clary projected her feelings and images into Jace's head, and she in turn absorbed the feelings that he had in reaction to her.
Jace took those feelings, those thoughts, those emotions that she was giving to him, and he accepted them from her. He was stronger than anyone else she had done this exchange with so openly—the first time that she had ever done it was when she was first coming into her powers, and she had overwhelmed her mother so much that Jocelyn Fray had ended up in hospital for nearly a week, recovering from the onslaught. Clary had been lucky that she had parents who sent her to the best schools and doctors to help her control her abilities.
Jace, though, Jace completely opened his mind to her.
He completely trusted her.
He took everything she had to give him, knowing that she would never give him more than he could handle.
Everything she was showing him, told him how much she loved him. It was all jumbled up and not one thread could probably be tracked and followed, but it was all him and them and what they had together. The edges were all soft and the memories and emotions all glowed, and it was all love.
Clary wasn't sure how long the exchange went for, but Jace was leaning heavily against the bench and Clary was pressing her full weight against him. She was used to the thoughts and emotions, given it was something she dealt with every day, but sharing them with someone could be tiring. Jace didn't look tired, but he was good at hiding it, and she could see a sheen of tears in his eyes. They stayed like that for a long time, both processing everything that they had just gone through, but when Clary pulled back, she was still determined.
"I will stay with you," she told him softly, but firmly. "But I'm going back to work." Jace stared down at her, love and adoration in his face, along with resignation, because he knew that there was no getting around this.
"Alright," he murmured, lifting up his thumb to stroke along her cheek, underneath her eye. "But I want someone to go with them." Clary parted her lips and looked as though she was about to argue. "I'll make sure they're discreet," he assured her, but it was clear that he wasn't backing down, just as stubborn as her.
"Alright," she muttered. She would imagine Will would be more than happy to accompany her, and try to get time in to see Tessa. "Also, I would prefer it if we went back to your actual apartment. This place just doesn't feel right." It wasn't home. Jace's pent house apartment wasn't home, but it felt a whole lot more like it than this place, which was just bland and faceless.
"I'll think about it," Jace told her, and it wasn't a yes, but Clary would take it for now.
So songs I recommend are I Think I'm OKAY by MGK, Yungblud and Travis Baker, which I absolutely adore, and the song and especially the music video give me intense early 2000's feels, and Lost by Dermont Kennedy, which is so damn beautiful, I've completely fallen in love with it. Also Lost Without You by Freya Ridlings, which was sent to me by Reppinda5o3 and is completely heart breaking. Umm...I can't really think of many movies and TV series I've been watching lately. Sorry :(
Okay, so, questions; what's your lockscreen/homescreen/blah blah blah? My lockscreen is Dominic Harrison and my homescreen is Demi Lovato, both total babes.
Umm...What are you go-to feel good movies? Mine are—not in any type of order—Princess Bride, The Swan Princess, Stardust, Spirit and Frozen. Lol. Not even sorry. I think Catch and Release might be working its way onto this list as well.
...'Please tell me I'm your one and only/Or lie and say at least tonight/I've got a brand new cure for lonely/And if you give me what I want/Then I'll give you what you like'...
xxxxxxx