A/N: Hey guys, thanks for the patience and shit. Been a bit of a rough time on this end with some personal shit so not sure how quick the updates will be coming through but hoping this is spinning at least some of your wheels. Anyway here's a much larger chapter than my usual fare, let me know if you like it, cheers ~Small Mistake
The Normandy floated through the emptiness of space like a sail lost on the wind. Utter silence dominated, giving the entire scene an atmosphere of awe. Slowly spinning around, seeing all the stars out there, the ones he had been to, the ones he hadn't and the ones no one had been to, gave Joker a sense of purpose. The promise that adventure rested just beyond an FTL jump meant he never knew what was next, anything could potentially challenge his skills, force him to adapt and prove why the skinny little kid with the creaky legs kicked every single ass back at the academy. Sure, it wasn't as if he was going planetside and trudging waist-deep through muck, snow and ash just to get shot at, which sounded great and all but overall Joker figured he could live with that. Besides, he got to helm a much bigger gun than any of Shepard's team ever did.
A floating readout of all the Normandy's primary systems lay on his main screen, heat emissions were building up from the drive core but allowing the ship to idle in orbit like debris was off-setting the time before they'd reach worrying levels. Joker lazily swiped a command to acknowledge the latest op-check when a minor signal caught his eye. "EDI, what was that?" He asked.
"An apparent burst of activity from the planetary surface" EDI said. She had deduced immediately what Joker had been referring to by tracking where his eyes were looking, a habit to unnerved Joker to no end. "It was undirected, thus I relegated it as a secondary concern."
"It's more than anything else we've gotten so far" Joker remarked. "Did you record it, something caught on open channels might be of interest to Shepard, she's been gone a while."
"I am detecting multiple repetitions within the burst, it appears the communication is looping."
"A looping communication?" Joker asked sceptically. "There's no way the Quarians would leave that going and attract attention to themselves. Shepard's transmitters may not be powerful enough to break through the radiation, she might have left us a message for us to be able to hear her. Can you clear it up?"
"I am constructing an algorithm that should counteract the radiation's interference effect" EDI said as she applied it.
Joker's ears were suddenly filled with white noise and static as the patch began to apply. "Make a note to bring on a comms specialist" he said to no one in particular. "If the budget is short we can always replace the yeoman for them." The transmission began to become discernible words.
"…day, mayday" the transmission managed.
Joker's eyes widened. "That's Shepard! EDI, lock onto the source of that single, track its location."
"Done, opening a line of communication" EDI replied perfunctorily.
"Shepard!" Joker yelled. "What's your status?"
There was no reply.
"EDI?" Joker asked.
"I am detecting activity but the signal is degraded to reconstruct" EDI replied, "the Normandy's external sensory systems are not sufficient enough for this task."
"Bringing us over them for an orbital view" Joker said, knowing Hadley was already bringing up the image.
"Attention Crewman Moreau" EDI said. Joker missed the Alliance, being referred to as 'Flight Lieutenant' was so much cooler. "Maintaining a lock over Shepard's position will require constant engine use, risking overloading the stealth systems."
"We're not staying safe while Shepard needs support" Joker replied, moving the Normandy into position as the image began to enhance on his bridge. "Shit" he said, seeing the image. "That's some heavy artillery."
"By its firing stance, it appears to be a Geth Colossus" EDI reported.
"Shepard!" Joker said into his comm. "We have eyes on you, you can hear us but your signal is too weak for us to hear you. We can still track your activity though so give us one burst for 'yes', two bursts for 'no', do you understand?"
There was a pause, and then Joker saw one burst in reply.
"Great. You need extra fire support for the colossus?"
One burst again.
Joker nodded. "Okay, we're sending in the shuttle, we can land it close by if you keep the attention on you."
There were suddenly two bursts in response.
"No shuttle?" Joker asked. "Why?" He realised Shepard couldn't tell him and pressed a fist hard against his lips. "EDI, are you seeing any Geth anti-air defences?"
"Negative" EDI replied. "Although my targeting algorithms are unreliable through the radiation."
"Got something!" Hadley yelled. "We have movement down below, moving fast. By its size, it looks to be a dropship, too big to be a fighter."
"And still enough armament to blow our shuttle out of the sky" Joker exhaled. "How can we do this? We can't shoot them and we can't get help through to them."
"Incorrect" EDI clarified, "we simply can't get the shuttle down safely. However, there are many forms of help, our crew are still comprised of expert combat specialists."
"We can talk to them" Joker realised. "We can get a signal down to them. EDI, what other signatures are you reading down there?"
"General readings are inconclusive" EDI replied. "I need something specific to lock onto."
"Shepard, we need to know what you have down there" Joker spoke. "Heavy weapons?"
Two bursts of static.
"Do you have sufficient small arms ammunition?"
Another two bursts.
"Grenades?"
One burst.
Joker let out a sigh of relief. "So we have grenades at least, that's something." He hesitated for a moment. "Does your team have anything you don't?"
There was again one burst in reply.
"Heavy weapons?" Joker asked.
Shepard again confirmed through the static.
"We have grenades and heavy weapons" Joker mused. "EDI, call Jax up to CIC and prepare a station for him, Shepard needs some advice on how to best deploy some explosives."
About ninety seconds passed before the frantic taps of Jax's running steps echoed up the catwalk to the bridge.
"Where the hell were you?" Joker asked.
"Blame the elevator" Jax grunted, climbing down into the seat. "What have we got?"
"A Geth colossus has Shepard pinned" Joker called back. EDI brought up holographic schematics for the colossus as well as a blurred live feed of the one down below. "She's doesn't have enough ammo to take it down. What she does have is grenades, one of her team has a rocket launcher. How do we take it down with that?"
"You want me to bring this thing down with a rocket launcher and a few grenades?" Jax asked.
"No, I need you to tell Shepard how to do it" Joker replied, "we can't get the shuttle down yet. Also, whatever you think of has to destroy it completely, the damn thing comes with a self-repair protocol, leave anything left and it'll come back to full strength."
"Great," Jax replied sarcastically as he examined the projection. "Any other wonderful nuggets of information I should know?"
"Time is of the essence" EDI added for him.
"No shit" Jax muttered. The more he looked though, the further he despaired; he couldn't determine a way to defeat the tank with anything less than an entire arsenal of weaponry.
Joker watched as Shepard was forced to sprint under a hail of fire as her cover was obliterated. "Anytime now!" He called back.
"I can't do this!" Jax yelled back. "It can't be done, the shield strength of these things are too strong, there simply isn't enough ordinance to destroy it!"
Unless you don't destroy it Sensat's voice whispered in the back of his mind. It's where you put the explosive that matters, not the size of it.
"I can disable it" Jax whispered. "Joker, put me in touch with Shepard and the team, I need to speak with them all."
Joker touched a series of commands and Jax saw the window open in front of him.
"Okay, I need you all to listen to me because you will have one run at this" Jax said. "And if you stuff it up, I'm pretty sure you're all dead."
Down below on Rannoch's surface, the environment was far removed from the peacefulness of space. Shepard huddled lower as the ground exploded behind her and she was showered in stone fragments rattling off her armour. "This sounds positive" she remarked.
"Better than hiding" Grunt rumbled, firing off two bursts with his vindicator. His Claymore shotgun was low on ammo; he had fired it so much the barrel was orange with heat.
"As much as I'll deny admitting this, I'm in agreement with the krogan" Reegar interjected, "we're too low on options otherwise. If it were any different, you wouldn't have told your ship about my rocket launcher at our disposal."
Shepard was forced to concede his words as she looked across the battlefield to where Garrus' motionless body was lying. She had fled the cover to draw fire and attention away from him, but every wasted second down here was a risk she couldn't abide. She opened her comm channel and closed it, sending back Jax her acknowledgment, praying this idea would work.
"Looking at the colossus' firing motion, there's a weakness" Jax said. "The main fusion cannon exerts far too much force for the body to remain stable, during every shot it has to brace its front legs against the impact. We're going to blow them off, the main cannon won't be able to fire then, in theory it should just shut down. I need all three of you in different positions. Whoever has the grenades needs to be as close to the colossus as possible, the one with the rocket launcher needs to on a different side of the colossus and the last needs to be dropping as many regular Geth troopers as possible to give the rocket launcher a clear shot. Give me a burst when you're in position."
"'As close as possible'?" Shepard repeated. "Shit, he wasn't lying about needing to be precise. Reegar, how's your aim?"
Reegar grunted, the effort clearly taxing on his infected body. "I can manage but the sun's beginning to shut the systems down, we need to kill this bastard fast."
"Affirmative" Shepard replied. "Grunt?"
"Already on it" the krogan replied, picking up his Claymore. "One way or another, they'll remember my strength."
"Mow them all down" Shepard ordered, sliding along the cover, waiting for the next break in fire to make a run forward, the direction every single instinct honed by her past as a street orphan on Earth screamed was the wrong way. The colossus released another blast and Shepard waited until the ground started shaking beneath her feet before she made to run again. She could feel the ash and dust from pulverised stone clinging to the skin on her face and griming her armour. Goddamn it all to Hell, Garrus would've worked for so long on polishing it she thought with a sad curse. "We're in position" she said into her comms, knowing that Jax wouldn't actually be able to hear the words.
The single burst of surface comms activity registered on Jax's screen. "Roger that" he spoke, "here's how it's going to go down. The one with the gun pops first, kills as many standard Geth as possible. Once the field is clear, the one with the rocket launcher is going to fire. It's not going to do any damage though, instead it needs to get the colossus' attention so it needs to be good, we're talking a proper headshot. When the colossus wheels around to respond, that's when the one with the grenades has to move. You need to get right in underneath the thing and that's not an exaggeration; the shield strength is too high for you to penetrate with high kinetic energy weapons. You need to place the grenades, not throw them. When the colossus is bracing to fire, there should be a small pocket between the front legs; it's a structural weakness. That's where you need put the grenades, the more the better. You then need to fucking hightail it because there's also a chance the grenades might trigger a cascade explosion: the amount of energy required to maintain a damage repair protocol as well as fuelling that cannon with power has to be immense, there's a chance the grenades could set that off. Either the colossus will be destroyed or at the least, without its legs it'll be completely disabled, unable to fire." Jax took a breath. "That's the best I've got, the rest is up to you. Good luck." He ended the communication and ran a hand over his mouth, there had to be more he could do. "EDI, that rocket launcher, we use the ML-77 class, don't we?"
"Yes" EDI confirmed. "But as Shepard took the Arc Projector with her, the rocket launcher is likely to be used by the Quarians, who employ an almost identical model."
"Perfect" Jax said, "can you lock onto its signature?"
"What are you thinking?" Joker asked.
"The ML-77 is a homing missile launcher" Jax replied, sifting through data screens. "Targeting systems on the launcher feed data through a remote network to a receiver on the warhead which then directs the payload. Any remote network can be hacked. I'm going to make sure that missile locks onto the colossus' head, it could possibly veer off for a random trooper otherwise. I just need to lock onto that network first."
"I have established a tenuous link" EDI stated, "patches of corrupted programming indicate the launcher is suffering from multiple breakdowns due to radiation damage."
"Can you fix it?" Jax asked.
"Rewriting the software is a simple procedure but the upload presents difficulty given the strength of the connection" EDI explained. "In its current state, there is no guarantee the missile will reach its target, or even properly recognise any targets."
"Begin the upload" Jax said, "I want to take over that launcher's targeting systems and direct that missile into that Geth's ugly head myself."
"Link established" EDI said, "uploading software patches."
"It's taking too long" Jax growled, looking at the expected completion time. "Can we tell Shepard to wait?"
"Geth are keying into the Quarian's comm channel, they're running interference" Hadley called. "And we can't reach Shepard to establish a new one."
"Shit" Jax hissed, watching the upload slowly tick over percentages, the speed constantly changing.
The leather of Joker's arm rests groaned a little as he gripped them, leaning forward in his seat.
"The first team member is engaging the standard troopers!" Hadley called, "as soon as they're down, the missile is going up!"
Jax was awfully conscious that everyone in the CIC had stopped what they were doing and were watching his plan unfold. His hands were balled into fists, his chest was tightening, every breath was becoming harder to take than the last.
"Come on Jax" Kelly whispered. "You can do this."
"Geth are down!" Hadley called.
"Upload complete" EDI interrupted. "Link established."
A window to a brutal war-torn battlefield popped up on Jax's station. Geth and Quarian corpses were littered around craters and scattered debris. Bright blue tracer rounds from a Vindicator were streaking across the screen as one final trooper fell apart. Jax adjusted the awry targeting circle back onto the colossus' head and locked it on. "Go to hell you heap of scrap" he growled, activating the firing prompt.
Reegar hesitated for a confusing second as his targeting system glitched in and out of operating status. He had a brief flash of worry he would have to aim it manually, which he wasn't sure he could guarantee in his condition with enough time but as the screen gave him his confirmation, his trigger finger clenched and the missile popped out. Reegar watched as it slightly adjusted before rocketing home, slamming into the side of the colossus' head as it bore down on Shepard's cover and exploding in a burst of blue light. As the smoke cleared, the colossus stood with it's head slightly awry from the impact. It pulled its head back into alignment, bringing its optical sensor around to locate him. Judging him as the more pressing threat, Reegar watched as its body rotated to line up with the head, and then the two front legs placed themselves hard against the ground in a brace. The white glare of its head began to brighten. Reegar squeezed the trigger again only for a warning on the screen telling him the targeting system had failed. "Ah hell" Reegar muttered, looking back up again. He let the launcher fall to the ground, discarded. "Keelah se'lai Tali."
As the colossus braced and locked into its firing position, Shepard moved. She rounded out of her cover and leapt over the stone bench, sliding over the next one. She could see the white light brightening above, locking onto Reegar. She detached the two grenades from her belt and activated them both, not risking the trigger mechanism failing on one. She made it straight under the colossus, looking up for the opening Jax had talked about. Just before the legs integrated into the body, there was a widening in between them, a ripple of heat caused the air to shimmer there, drawing her attention and alerting her of its purpose. An exhaust vent, of course, there was no way the Geth would've overlooked a structural weakness. A fusion cannon would generate immense amounts of heat, a vent at the base of the neck in a pocket between the front legs was likely to be safe, after all who up to this point would be mad enough to approach a colossus from the front, not to mention be lucky enough to survive it? Shepard jammed the grenades against the vent with a cry, her hand scalded even through her armour. She ripped off her gauntlet desperately as she ran, the opposite direction this time.
"Shepard!" She heard Grunt yell as the grenades detonated.
A series of explosions travelled up the colossus' neck, ripping it apart in consecutively brighter flashes of white light before the detonated capped back on the energy source within the body. The entire battlefield disappeared in the blast of light, so strong that even Reegar was forced to hide his face from behind his polarised visor as the shockwave threw him to the ground.
The entire CIC burst into cheers and celebration as the Geth signature vanished, swept away by the readouts of the detonation. Hadley was shaking hands with Matthews in glee as he was recording the orbital view of the detonation, a small white spec amongst of a planet of stale yellows and off-tinge browns. Jax could only manage to exhale as his head feel back against the chair, somehow being up here was worth as much stress as being on the ground. He took a few more deep breaths, relishing his memories and lessons that had taught him so much, made him able to save the people he cared about from threats impossible to handle before. "Thank you Sensat" he breathed before he felt congratulating hands pulling him out of his chair, EDI deactivating his station as the CIC crew all congratulated him, patting his shoulder and shaking his hand. Jax actually found himself sharing their joy, revelling in the success of the moment, despite the fact he had seen them by nothing more than the diamond logo on their shoulders, each and every single one of them were people, and they all saw him right now in this moment as a friend. Jax felt surreal in amongst their atmosphere and finally allowed himself to raise a hand and whoop to their cheers. They began to disperse, but not before Jax caught Kelly's eyes through the crowd and shared a smile so warming, he knew he'd be smiling at the memory for a long time to come. She blushed, and then returned her attention to her station.
Joker meanwhile hadn't risen from his chair, although no one expected him to. He kept stubbornly running his scan for life signs or communication signatures against the radiation. "Come on Shepard, where are you?" He muttered, refreshing the scan.
"Heat emission capacity at 90%" EDI warned, "we will not be able to further avoid detection for long, with Geth reinforcements incoming, we be forced to leave this sector soon."
Back on Rannoch, the effects of the blast were much more personal than an orange view screen. When the light finally cleared and the dust whipping at any loose end of his suit fabric died down, Reegar pulled himself up and looked around.
Grunt was pushing himself back to his feet, having also been thrown to the ground by the force of the blast from his closer uncovered position. He pulled a piece of metal out of his bicep and looked around. "Shepard!" He roared, only his echo returning to him.
The door at the far end of the compound slid open, revealing a purple figure within. "Tali!" Reegar exclaimed, although he could only a manage a limp, still clutching at the wound on his torso that was restricting his movement.
"Reegar!" She exclaimed, running to him. She activated her omnitool and applied another sealant to his injury, as well as transferring her own stocks of antibiotics and analgesics. "I saw the whole battle from inside, are you okay?"
"I'm fine, thanks" Reegar managed. "Where's the commander?"
Tali looked around. "Shepard?" She activated her omnitool, her old distrusting nature from her days dealing with the less savoury elements of the Citadel's criminal underworld had caused her to record omnitool signatures so she could track them within a close proximity. It was about to pay off again. "This way!"
Reegar and Grunt followed her as she approached a sheet of metal which had landed just on the other side of an isolated spot of cover. "Here" she said, indicating the sheet. Grunt quickly shouldered his way past her and gripped the edge of the sheet. Reegar watched as the muscles in Grunt's arms began to twist, the network of veins beginning to bulge as his expression tightened in anger, his eyes narrowed and teeth gritted together. Blood oozed out of the puncture wound in his bicep as his growl began to escalate, the sheet slowly starting to rise off the ground, the metal beginning to warp under the immense power of his grip.
Tali and Reegar kneeled, seeing an uncovered human hand under the rubble. "It's her!" Tali exclaimed.
Grunt lifted the sheet, his arms holding it high above his head before throwing it off to the side. "Battlemaster" he said, reaching for her with blood running down his arm. She was lying face down and covered in dust and mire but it shifted as Grunt rolled her over, revealing Garrus' still body she had been protecting with her own. "Battlemaster" Grunt repeated, gently shaking her, "Shepard!"
Her fingers smudged in black and grey twitched softly before her eyes fluttered open, the green stark against the grey. "Garrus" she managed before fully coming to her senses and looking around, seeing the krogan and two Quarians looking down at her, Tali giving attention to Garrus before her omnitool buzzed to bare life, fading in and out.
"Come in… Shepard… where are you?" Joker's voice said. "Sound off if you're down there, one bust of activity. This is Joker, Flight Lieutenant Moreau of the Normandy, is anybody out there?"
"Is there anybody down there?" Joker repeated. He growled in frustration as the signs of any communication activity stayed frustratingly blank. He wasn't ready to think in terms of 'deathly silence' considering they had just made their commander essentially detonate a large bomb manually. Without even meaning to, his thoughts flashed back to Virmire, and Ash. She was always stubborn, almost turianly so, and when she had insisted he alter his flight path to extract Shepard and Kaiden and then leave the atmosphere, she had gotten her way again, one final time. To think of that as such a flashback, more than two years ago now, felt wrong. It was hard to look back at event so apocalyptic as anything but disturbingly recent. Joker leading a squad of the Alliance's best pilots, jockeys he'd trained beside at the academy as he punched a blast through Sovereign's dark heart and watched it explode in a hail of debris was not a memory he'd ever forget.
"Geth dropship has disengaged and withdrawn from the sector" Hadley reported, "preparing for shuttle departure."
"Wait," Joker replied, "we don't know what we're sending first. Get medical and recovery crews on standby."
The crowd had meanwhile fallen silent, Jax slowly stepping forward in dread.
"Shepard" Joker repeated. "We can't read any signs from up here, especially not with all the additional radiation from the colossus' detonation. Give me a sign, anything. Are you alive, are we clear for retrieval?"
There was another moment of dreaded silence.
Kelly stepped away from her station, seeing the signs of worry wracking Jax in his subtle tells.
"Is anybody out there?" Joker repeated as a burst of activity came from the surface. "Shepard!" He exclaimed. "Is that you?"
Another single burst was received with another round of cheers.
"Is the shuttle team cleared for retrieval?"
Another burst of activity.
"Do you need medical support?" Joker asked.
There was a single burst, and then a horrible second passed before they all realised there wasn't going to be a second one.
"Are you hurt?" Joker asked.
Two bursts rebuffed him.
"Tali?"
Another two bursts told him Tali was safe.
"Garrus?" Jax asked quietly, having approached Joker's station.
There was a single burst, and then another.
"Garrus is fine" Joker said to Jax before another burst made him freeze, and then another. They both knew what Shepard meant as another burst came in, and then another.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
"Activate the shuttle immediately, bypass all pre-flight safety checks and regulations, my authority" Joker yelled at Hadley who was frantically following his commands. "Flight crew to medbay, Doctor Chakwas, get a big bag and get to the shuttle immediately, prepare to receive turian patient, condition; critical."
"I'm going down there too" Jax said, turning and pushing past where Kelly had come up to join him.
"No you're not" Joker told him.
Jax turned on him. "What?"
"I'm not moving that elevator for anyone but Doctor Chakwas" Joker told him. "The most crucial thing for Garrus right now is time and I'm not holding his medical attention for your emotions, the elevator is on the crew floor now and the only direction its going is down."
Jax almost sat down from the stinging truth in Joker's words, the light hearted quipping persona was completely gone as if a black hole had opened from behind Joker's eyes, consuming all the light in.
"I understand you care for him" Joker said, "but don't make the mistake of thinking you are the only one who cares for him. Realise where you're best serving him and right now what he needs is not a demolitions expert. You've played your part and if he does live, so much of it will be because of you but right now our stealth systems are at ninety-three percent maximum capacity and we have two Geth cruisers approaching Rannoch which will shortly enter firing range; we need to get Shepard, Garrus and Tali and then we need to get the hell out of this system."
Jax managed to nod, feeling so much like boy from Joker schooling him so severely. It was hollowing to feel so useless and rebuked after being so important and celebrated. Already the rest of the CIC crew were back at their stations, sharing information and back to their frantic routines, ignoring him. All except Kelly.
"Come on" she whispered to him, taking his hand.
Jax allowed himself to be led away, even though the act was only reinforcing his feelings of greenness and immaturity. He watched as the cargo ramp opened on the massive holographic representation of the Normandy and a holographic shuttle raced out. It was only then that the elevator finally rose to meet them and the sank down to Deck 3. Kelly followed Jax into the crew quarters as he sat on his bunk, the two crew members Kelly knew as Sarah and Vadim noticed them and kindly gave them the room. Kelly gave them thanking smiles before opening a footlocker and removing the blanket from within, wrapping it around Jax, whose eyes were still at the floor. "You're not Blasto" she told him, "every single person up there, Joker included, knows there isn't a single thing you could've done better. You know that too, you just need to realise you can't be everything on this team and that no one expects you to be."
"It's not that" Jax replied. "Back on Omega, as part of Garrus' crew, we were everything to each other. Between staking out gang hideouts, waiting for late night ambushes, we spent so much time with each other and missed a lot of time with our families that we became a family unto ourselves."
Kelly sat on the bunk opposite him, listening simply.
"I remember Erash teaching me the best ways to cheat at Quasar, Butler teaching me to make his fantastic pancakes with vorcha fat, Mierin showing me which markers to forge my ID with so I won't get poisoned at the bars who favour the Batarian syndicates." Jax chuckled a little at the memory. "I remember early on, I couldn't shoot worth a damn, I could build and lob a grenade but honestly, I could've missed a Krogan from five feet with a wide-spread shotgun. Garrus showed up at my door one day, took me for a ride, I was scared shitless he was going to kick me out of the team but he took me up close to the rock, where the engines and mass effect field generators make such a noise you can barely hear yourself think. It's good for battle training, makes it hard to concentrate, forces you to focus through the chaos. He lined up three targets, these bottles for me and I used up about four clips and missed every single shot. I almost decided to quit, save him the time to kick me out but he just gave me another clip, told me to feel the gun as not a tool, but part of me, a means to achieving my intentions. So I kept shooting, he kept watching and occasionally fixing my stance but often just dead silent as I shot for more than an hour until my shoulder was nearly purple from the recoil, it took a lot of time to fix my stance" Jax explained with a reminiscing smile.
"Did you hit the bottles?" Kelly asked.
"No" Jax replied. "After an hour of shooting, after I was exhausted from concentrating and sore as hell from all the recoil, I got so pissed that I did quit, swore black and blue at Garrus though I was only angry at myself for failing so badly in front of him. Told him I'd never give up his secrets and as soon as he dropped me back, he'd never have to see me again."
"What did he say to that?"
"He didn't say anything" Jax told her. "He showed me the truth. Those three bottles? These three fucking bottles of his? They were all decoys, holograms, I hadn't hit a single one because not a single one of them was real."
Kelly was confused. "So what was the point of it all?"
"It was a test" Jax explained. "He did it to every single one of us, it showed him two things. Firstly, it showed our skill but it also showed the kind of person we were. Now I may not have been like Ripper who took three shots and instantly called Garrus on his bullshit for all of them being fake but none of them kept shooting for as long as I did, none of them tried as hard as I did. He said it showed him how much I wanted to make a difference with this. Yeah, I had missed a lot in truth but I had improved as well, just from this one session. I spent an afternoon with him the next week teaching him to make homemade explosive round so the next time he gave me three bottles, I'd hit them all with one shot. He taught me how to focus my anger, use it to drive me towards achieving what I need, rather than just expending it on whatever was closest and leaving me feeling emptier. Back up there, when I realised he was injured, I just thought of those bottles and even though I wasn't as close to him as the others, there wouldn't have been any hesitation between either of us if we needed help and I've been treating him like shit. I don't that to be his last impression of me." Jax's head dropped. "I can't let him think he failed me, because it's me who failed him."
Kelly knelt forward, lowering herself so she could be in his eyeline. "Jax, I can't help what you might have done in the past but I can promise you, there is so much about you that is worth being proud of, the bad things you've done don't take away from good you are, everyone gets a little lost sometimes."
Jax finally looked her in the eyes with such a sense of longing Kelly almost felt her breath escape her but he couldn't maintain the contact before falling away again. "I know I've been lost. I know I've been fucked up and I know I've done shit that's not befitting of the person who I'm supposed to be, of who I should be."
"So what's bothering you so deeply?" Kelly asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.
Jax looked her in the eyes again and this time they did not stray. "After being so lost for so long, I'm not sure I know how to be found."
Kelly gave him a reassuring smile. "The way you find the find the path is the same way you lose it; you just stumble onto it."
Jax gave another of his almost-chuckles. "I have done my fair of stumbling."
Kelly cupped his cheek. "And now you're in a place you can call home." Jax looked at her briefly and before she knew it, she had traversed the distance between their lips and was kissing him and he was madly kissing her back, deepening as her arms linked around his shoulders. Jax's hands were on her hips. She rose and pushed against him, his fingers tasselling through her flaming red hair, he could see every detail of her in his mind as her succulent pink laps traced across his, each kiss sweeter than the last. Jax's hands ran up her body, firm beneath the uniform. He didn't really know what either of them were doing, they were both caught and swept up in this fiery moment of passion but Jax wouldn't have minded if it never ended. Her soft touch on his skin only served to inflame his passions, he could almost literally feel his heart swelling within his chest.
"Shuttle to Normandy" a voice called through the speakers, making them break apart with a startle. It was Doctor Chakwas' voice. "Prepare medbay to receive, I need the lab configured for surgery immediately, cranial cybernetic reconstruction required."
"Roger that," Joker's voice replied. "Mordin to assist."
Kelly looked back at Jax but it was clear by his eyes that their moment of wildness was over. "I want to be there" he said quietly.
Kelly nodded before a prompt on her omnitool drew her attention away. "Message alert" she read "priority one."
"Illusive Man?" Jax asked.
Kelly shook her head. "Aria T'Loak."
That got Jax's attention. "What does she want with Shepard?"
"It's not for Shepard," Kelly told him, "it's for you."
"What does it say?" Jax asked.
"There's a frequency for a holo-communication" Kelly said, showing the Jax the attached line with the message.
It's time to call in my favour.