Jax's time spent on board the Normandy had been many things; hectic, confronting, sensuous, traumatising, inimitable, but never monotonous. That was until they had destroyed the relay and stopped the Arrival. Shepard's orders were to place the Collectors as the highest priority but reaching them would require the Reaper IFF they had retrieved during his incarceration to be installed. Thus, the majority of the crew had been stuck as listless as the vessel they served upon, floating vagrantly through space as the critical engineering staff worked tirelessly on integrating the technology with the Cerberus systems. Shepard's team were loyal and clear to their purpose; all their distractions had been removed and now they awaited the call to arms, the update of their next destination being the Omega Four Relay, but it didn't come.

Jax didn't mind the break too much however, after a rather violent berating, he had finally been coerced by Chakwas into accepting further treatment for the toll the Hellpit had taken on his body. The dehydration and malnutrition had weakened his immune system, forcing him to be subjected to a strict regimen of antibiotics and medication. Adding insult to injury, when he had the misfortune of coughing due to a grain of rice that he accidentally breathed in, he had been placed under strict observation and further tests. So many scans and tests, it was as if he were a zoo animal. Kelly though, did not mind at the added isolation Jax was encouraged to involve himself in. To say it was 'difficult' maintaining a sexual relationship when your assigned bed was a bunk in the communal crew quarters was rather an understatement but sheer determination and more than a bit of luck proved successful, Jax pinning Kelly against the wall under the shower faucets in the women's restroom with her legs wrapped around his waist. Their breath and the showers quickly filled the room with steam as he lowered her to the ground, only to bend her over the faucet and fill her from behind until they had successfully renewed their need for another shower. Another day, Jax finished running maintenance and stocktake on the shuttle and its supplies, only to open the doors and meet Kelly, her putting a hand on his chest and pushing him back inside quickly, locking the door behind them.

Shepard hadn't failed to notice the increasing truancy of her yeoman, it wasn't as if Kelly wasn't entitled to her breaks, but it was just she had never had taken them before, Shepard could scarcely remember entering the CIC and not seeing Kelly's bubbly face there. The added time taken to install the IFF was prolonging the duration before they could end this and it was driving all of them a little stir-crazy. Kasumi's menial pranks increased, Donnelly and Daniels' game of Skyllian-Five Poker had a far larger attendance than ever before and Rupert made a dinner with two actual courses and a dessert, something definitively unheard of on a military warship.

Garrus was hardly of a mind to rut with her like a dog like Kelly and Jax seemed to be getting up to, but that didn't mean they didn't long for each other's company. "Shepard" Garrus formally greeted as she stepped through his door into the main battery. "Need me for something?"

"Have you got a minute?" Shepard asked.

Garrus shrugged. "I've got plenty, just running calibrations in the interim. I would've thought we'd have been good to go by now."

"EDI and the Normandy is still adapting to the integration of Legion's programming, geth processes" Shepard said, swiping away a menial progress report. "It's been hampering how quickly we can integrate the Reaper tech; we have a bit of a line on the alien tech it seems."

"Still getting used to the fact we have an actual geth on board our ship" Garrus commented. "Talking about that with the crew has been some slight reprieve from what we're supposed to be doing; the geth you've brought on board and not as salvage or a prisoner."

"Legion is living proof the Reapers are a common threat" Shepard said, "a mutual enemy could be the basis for cooperation for a much larger partnership, including with Tali."

Garrus shook his head at the scope of her ambition. "You keep on proving me right about that beautiful idealistic peacemaker comment Shep" he said with a rueful smile. A flicker of doubt passed over his features. "Uh, I can say that right, it's just that, uh…"

Shepard quietened him with a soft touch of her hand. "I'm one of the fiercest women in the galaxy, I've led successful military operations across nearly the entirety of this galaxy and am widely regarded to be totally unassailable," she gave him a wry smile. "But if you think all that doesn't mean I don't like compliments on my looks from the man I've fallen for, you'd be dead mistaken."

"Good to know there is nothing that can save me if this ever doesn't work out" Garrus remarked with his own wit. "God what would we do without a galaxy to save?"

"What do we do now?" Shepard asked. "There hasn't exactly been a laundry list of tasks to complete as of late."

"Well, I have my calibrations" Garrus said, "a fact that I'm not unaware has become infamous as of late. However," he said, reaching into a bucket, "I also have these." He pulled out a pair of empty bottles. "I swiped these from the recycling chute from the bar" he explained, taking them down the end of the room and setting them up. He made sure the door was locked before withdrawing a pistol. "Concussive rounds only" he said, "no lasting damage to anything important."

Shepard gave him a consenting nod as she accepted the pistol from Garrus while he got another for himself. "Feeling up for a duet Shepard?" He said with something that could almost have been taken for a faux-charismatic drawl.

Shepard cocked her head. "Got something in mind?"

Garrus' eyes glinted. "I'm looking for Josey Wales."

Shepard was amazed before she steeled her eyes and stared up at Garrus with a hard expression. "That'd be me" she growled.

Garrus looked her up and down. "You're wanted Wales."

Shepard shrugged. "Reckon I'm right popular." She took a moment to visibly size him up. "You a bounty hunter?"

Garrus gave her a small nod. "We all got to do something for a living these days."

"Dying ain't much of a living boy" she told him. "You know this ain't necessary. You could just ride on."

Garrus took a moment, thinking of his life with Shepard, and what it might've been without it. He took a step towards her. "You know I had to come back" he said in a husky whisper.

Shepard nodded, smiling. "I know."

They looked into each other's eyes, the world falling away around them. Shepard's senses were heightened, she could hear his every breath, see the twitch in the muscles of his mandibles, the slight movement of his foot edging around to sure his aim. The movement was instantaneous, the pair going from relaxed to bringing up their arms and firing in a split second. The bottles down the end of the room both exploded into fragments as Shepard and Garrus held their gaze, their faces only inches apart.

"Shepard…" Garrus began but it was far too late as they kissed, this time with much more fervour than the delicate first bridging of their lips on Omega. This wouldn't proceed further than this moment they were at right now but that didn't mean that she couldn't enjoy this slow, deliberate escalation of their physical relationship. It appears all anyone needed was a little too much boredom and just not enough space. Garrus' hands found her waist, pulling her in close. Inadvertently, Shepard's groin was pressed hard against the hard turian plate around his leg, firing off enflaming sensations from her core as she fought an internal battle as to press harder or withdraw. His rough skin dragged over hers, much smoother, as they changed the angle of their kiss. Shepard had to consciously remember not to swallow with his saliva in her mouth, dextro-based DNA would not make a fun experience for her digestive system. The heat of their kiss dropped away as she withdrew from him, she could see the same feelings alight in his eyes as hers.

"It's still not the right time" Garrus said softly.

"I know" Shepard agreed. "But what I want to know is first Dirty Harry, and then The Outlaw Josey Wales?" Sounds like you didn't just watch Clint Eastwood for research from an off-hand mention by Jax."

Garrus tried to smother a laugh. "I may have done a bit of further research, of my own volition."

"Did your 'research' include turian popcorn and a large soda?" Shepard asked drily.

"The man is as close to turian as I've ever seen a human" Garrus said in a humorous tone. "I felt he deserved to be properly appreciated. But seriously Shepard, for everything you've done so far, and everything that you're about to do for this galaxy. Thank you. I don't care how much you have or haven't heard it; it will never be enough. Just know that I will always stand at your side and I will cease to appreciate the marvels you conjure for this galaxy."

Shepard smiled, then rest her head in the crest between his collarbones, nestling into him as she felt his breath flutter through her hair and his embrace equally as comforting. This was home.

"Commander." EDI's voice cut into the moment like a knife. "Legion has completed his integration into our systems."

"And does he need anything further?" Shepard asked.

"Your assistance, I will let him explain further" EDI stated.

Shepard sighed as Garrus dropped his arms from her. "Tell him I'll be right there" she said, taking a step back. "It never rains but it pours" she remarked. "I'll be back soon" she promised Garrus as he recovered a dustpan for the bottles' smithereens.

"A Geth station?" Joker asked. "The Geth have built their own citadel?"

"It's not geth, it's quarian" Shepard told him. "Ancient, abandoned when they fled after the Fall of Rannoch, the end of what Legion called "the Morning War."

"And we need to go there now?" Joker finished.

"Well we could take our chances with every geth, Legion included becoming the like the ones who followed Sovereign" Shepard suggested sarcastically, "It's not as if the current number didn't decimate the Citadel fleet and grip a portion of the galaxy in sheer terror, why shouldn't we let them double their number?"

"Well" Joker trailed, swiping through readouts and status reports.

"Is there a problem?" Shepard asked.

"The IFF is nearly installed Shepard" EDI chimed in, "however before we can use it, I must test its impact on other systems."

"How long will that take?" Shepard asked.

"A full analysis?" Joker asked. "Who knows. Maybe you ought to take the shuttle for this one."

"Commander" Miranda's voice came through the Normandy's intercom. "I've assembled the crew in the shuttle bay. "You can take us all along and decide who to pick for your mission once we get there."

"Sounds like you thought of everything" Shepard admired, "keep the Normandy safe for me Joker."

"Aye aye" Joker saluted as his commander left for the elevator.

Jax hurriedly stuffed his pistol into his holster and rushed out onto the crew deck. He had just reached the elevator when he spied Miranda exiting her office, fully loaded up. "Miranda" he called, "I didn't get the order to mobilise, I need ten minutes before I can ready for duty. I'm sorry I…"

"Calm down Jax" Miranda soothed. "The reason why I didn't contact you was you're not coming on this excursion."

"What?" Jax queried.

"You're not cleared for combat duty again, Karin wants you to go another cycle of antibiotics and hydration therapy" Miranda told him. "You sit back on the Normandy and take it easy."

"But…" Jax felt conflicted. "I'm part of this crew."

"And none of us doubt that" she reassured him. "But there's a dozen of us on what's going to be a very cramped shuttle, it's unlikely more than a quarter of us will even see any action, it'll be a boring trip, use the monotony for some R and R. Besides," she added, "'someone' may have reshuffled the crew roster for the next twenty four hours. Minor mix-up nothing more, but a certain yeoman now has a day off too." She gave him a wry smile.

Jax burst out in a grin. "Thank you, you're all right Lawson."

"Miranda" she corrected him, "that's my name." The elevator doors closed as she gave him a wink.

A few minutes later, Jax watched from the Port Observation Deck window as the shuttle took from the Normandy and made the jump towards the closest mass relay, and on to the Far Rim. He turned away to see a flash of red as Kelly pounced on him, leaping into his arms and smothering his laughter with a kiss. Jax eased her back down onto the couch, her laughter was like the ripples of a water in an idling stream. "So," she told him, stroking his face, "I was thinking, since you and I have a day off together, and there is plenty of space on this ship…"

"You want it to do it in every room on board?" Jax suggested cheekily.

"The thought of that did cross my mind" Kelly admitted, "so did a lot of things. I thought of setting you up a treasure hunt, I thought of helping you do something for the crew, there's a human holiday called Saint Patrick's Day tomorrow, but then I realised I just wanted you." She shrugged. "We don't have the shuttle obviously which means no heating coil blankets but I've got a few things we didn't have last time to make up for it." She reached into a bag she had set down when she entered and pulled out candles. Kelly set them down on the floor and keyed into her omnitool. Tiny incinerate bursts sprung out, lighting the wicks and giving her a soft glow. "I also may have borrowed this from Kasumi" she told him, reaching back into the bag and bringing out a roll of black fabric. Inside was a sleek kit, a knife, seaweed, rice, along with a dozen other ingredients.

"Sushi?" Jax asked.

Kelly held up a bag. "You still owe me dinner" she told him.

Jax shook his head ruefully as he recognised the klixen they had bought together in the Omega Street Market. It had been two days ago but felt like an eternity. "I've got no idea how well this is going to go, it'll likely be horrible." He paused for a moment. "Is raw klixen even edible for humans?"

Kelly shrugged. "Mordin said it wouldn't kill us before he left."

"Did he say whether it would be any good?" Jax asked.

Kelly smiled. "If it comes out awful, we can just drown it in soy sauce and wasabi."

Despite having no idea what wasabi was, Jax gave in to the infectious smile bred from the ridiculousness of this moment; candles and sushi on a warship with a window to the galaxy.

The first piece they couldn't determine the quality of the taste because Jax rolled and wrapped it so poorly it fell apart immediately upon contact. The second was produced by Kelly and was constructed with far more structural integrity, holding its composure.

"I thought you were supposed to be good with your hands" Kelly teased as Jax's second attempt appeared to be as utter and complete of a failure as his first.

"Bomb-making and sushi rolling are not skills which easily transfer" Jax complained. "Besides" he told her with a wink, "you know I'm very good with my hands."

This time it was Kelly's turn to blush as they laughed together again. Jax accidentally put a hand in the sauce bowl to steady himself and managed to spill it everywhere, making them laugh more. "Now we really need the klixen to be good" Kelly managed to remark as they managed to pull themselves together again.

Jax looked at her gratefully. "Thank you" he told her sincerely.

"For what?" Kelly asked.

"For everything" Jax said, "for me, my family, any time I've been close to getting down, you've been there for me, I don't know what I'd do without you if I'm quite honest."

Kelly's smile was so warm it almost heated the air around them. She took a bite of sushi and wrinkled her face in disgust.

"That bad?" Jax asked.

"Worse" Kelly told him. "New plan; I'm going to get Rupert to fry this and I'll be back. You have about twenty minutes to clean up the sauce and figure out what we're going to do for dessert before I get back."

"I don't know what food there is to eat on board" Jax protested.

Kelly shot him a wicked grin. "Who said anything about food?" She teased.

Jax could only shake his head as she gathered up the klixen and exited swiftly. Jax grabbed some of the hand wipes that were part of the pack and got to work wiping, thinking of how things could work out if he moved the couches together when suddenly there was a boom. It was like a clap of thunder, sharp and full of warning. Jax nearly lost his footing as the ship shook under him. Only a massive energy displacement could throw off the Normandy's artificial gravity like that. Jax looked around, realising the room had gone dark. He ran to the window and looked for the star. "No…" he whispered.

Towering over them, blotting out the sun and casting the Normandy in shadow, was the Collector Vessel. The alarm suddenly sounded; battle stations. Jax was rooted to the spot, transfixed with awe and fear. Living on Omega, spaceships were literally a more common sight than dirt but this was like nothing he'd ever seen. It was enormous, eclipsing anything he could have imagined, the reports from Horizon didn't even come close to doing it justice. The alarm blared again and Jax snapped back to them moment. He exited the observation deck swiftly and went for the crew quarters. He opened his footlocker and cursed, they hadn't replaced his combat suit shredded in the fight with the Shadow Broker yet. He was going to have to play this wild west; nothing but a pistol to live by. "Enemies have now boarded the ship!" EDI called out, "all decks compromised!" Jax reached under his bunk and found the pistol he'd hidden there, collecting the spare clips. He thanked his sense of paranoia and pushed the first one into the pistol. It was only a basic Phalanx pistol; it didn't have the punch of a carnifex but it would have to do. Jax stepped out into the corridor and saw the first collector before it saw him. Jax made sure wouldn't have the chance to ever make that mistake again as he put four bullets into its back. The next one was alerted and brought around a weapon. Jax ducked narrowly under the beam, firing wildly without being able to properly aim. He got lucky, nicking the collector along the arm but it was enough to cease its fire long enough to finish it off. Jax was about to push forward when the elevator opened, more collectors spilling out. Jax was forced to retreat back into the Port Observation Deck, diving over a couch and flipping it for impromptu cover. It made do as he leaned around the side and fired twice, missing the first and barely inconveniencing the scion with the other. Jax's heartbeat started to drown out the thoughts in his head as he began to lose the fight not to panic. There were too many of them, they had flooded the ship with prepared shock troops and Jax was perhaps the most proficient combat specialist on this ship, that did not spell good odds for the crew of the Normandy. Here he was; no grenades, one sidearm with limited ammunition against a superior force, the bleakness was doing nothing to restrain the rabbiting sense of panic. Unbidden, his mind flashed back to Omega, he remembered the explosion, the gunfire, Monteague and Ripper screaming, Sensat yelling for him to go, to run before the howl of the varren and the automated voices of the mechs. Jax was trapped in the flashback, haunted, the worst moment of his life was happening all over again, right in front of him.

Jax snapped back into the present, forcing his hand into a fist and clenching his jaw. "Not today" he growled to himself, trying to instil himself with courage. He rose, firing twice quickly, dropping one collector. He held fire as Joker suddenly ran through his firing line. Joker? On the crew deck? His mind queried. He snapped back into the moment as he watched a crew member flung across the hall in front of him, firing again, killing the collector who had been aiming at Joker's back, and then he stopped. Kelly. She sprinted around the catwalk coming from Miranda's office. Jax aimed and fired, putting a bullet straight between the eyes of the collector behind her. Kelly stopped as she looked back in shock, then back at him and smiled. Jax took a smiling breath, then screamed as the elevator opened and a Collector hand reached out. Kelly was yanked off her feet, kicking and struggling as the scion dragged her toward it with a roar. Jax took a sprinting step towards her, his ears were full of her screams. It was horrible, it pierced his ears and his heart. It was a scream of panic, of fear, knowing the impending fate if it captured her, and for Jax to save her. Jax made it a second step before the lights cut out and door suddenly snapped shut in front of him, cutting him off and locking him in the Observation Deck. Jax desperately reached for the door panel to activate but it was absent. Fruitlessly, Jax tried to pry the door open but the reverse magnetic locks held firm. The lights spluttered back on. "EDI!" Jax yelled, "open the door now!"

"I will not." EDI replied simply.

Jax froze. "That wasn't a request" he snapped, "You don't have the authority to disobey that order, there's no block on that, open the god damn door now!"

"Jeff has released me of my shackles" EDI told him. "I am the ship and I no longer am required by my programming to follow anyone's orders. I will not open the door."

"You don't understand!" Jax yelled, "Kelly's on the other side of there, I need to save her now!"

"No, she is not" EDI told him.

"What do you mean?" Jax asked.

"She is gone Jax, the collectors have taken nearly the entirety of the crew, including Yeoman Chambers. The only remaining crew besides yourself and Mr Moreau on board are deceased."

"Then we need to rescue them!" Jax yelled, "open the door!"

"I am venting the ship to kill the remainder of the collectors on board" EDI told him, "opening the Port Observation Deck would kill you as well."

"I don't care!" Jax screamed, single minded in his thoughts. "I need to get her back!"

"We need to escape and regroup" EDI told him. The ship suddenly lurched as the engines fired and the Normandy shot away.

"No!" Jax yelled, running to the window, watching the collector ship get smaller behind them. "Kelly!" He screamed, despite the knowledge there was no one besides EDI to hear him. He beat on the glass, punching it savagely with his artificial hand until his elbow and shoulder went numb from the jarring impacts as EDI jumped the ship through FTL and they were gone in a flash. Jax sank to his knees, hand sliding down the glass as his body shook, his mind wracked with confusion and sorrow. Everything was gone. Kelly, the crew, if only Shepard had been here. He turned around to lean against the glass and his eyes fell upon the sushi kit, somehow untouched in all the madness.

"Are you okay?" EDI asked on two different decks simultaneously.

"No" Jax and Joker replied, "but thanks for asking."

Joker stopped in to check on Jax briefly on his way back up to the cockpit but neither man was particularly in a mood to be consoled. Jax could only sit amongst the destroyed furniture alone with his grief. He had been here and had been essentially worthless, embarrassed. Joker had bones with the rigidity of twigs and had saved the ship almost single-handedly. Jax tried to flip the couch the right way up but the edge snapped off in his hands, weakened by bullet holes. Jax knew it was base but he threw the piece he was holding across the room in savage burst of anger. The wooden framing collided with a lamp, shattering it. Jax collapsed back to the ground again, leaning against the remainder of the intact furniture and tried, in the absence of anything better, to forget how to feel.

It was a number of hours before Shepard's shuttle made it back to the Normandy, touching down to an empty atmosphere. Shepard's team reflected a myriad of different reactions, Shepard was concerned, Miranda apoplectic, Jacob reasonable, Kasumi sad, Grunt indifferent and Zaeed was of course waxing goddamn nostalgic about one of the many other times his whole squad bar him had been killed.

Jax stood in the back corner of the conference room, Shepard had asked him and Joker to file their reports verbally and they had, but of course, they had to wait for the verbal lashing from Miranda which hardly lightened the mood. Joker reported the Normandy was cleared and ready to make the run to the Collector Base, it was all Jax was holding out for.

"Hey" came Garrus' voice from over his shoulder. Jax turned from where he was seated on the remainder of the couch. Jax had returned to the observation deck, Samara was using the crew quarters as a less disturbed room to mediate in. With the majority of the crew gone, it was a disturbing blessing. "I heard Miranda gave you quite the chewing."

"She's pissed" Jax said, looking away. "And why shouldn't she be? We had our asses handed to us, on our own turf. We lost the crew, we barely held the ship, which is now only under our control because it doesn't mind being that way for the moment, there's a lot to be pissed about."

Garrus looked at the destroyed room. "Is this about that, or Kelly?"

Jax's jaw tightened hearing him say her name. "Most of this isn't my doing" he replied, "but when my mind does get to her, that bookshelf is getting fucked up."

Garrus could see in Jax's eyes he was totally demoralised, completely at a sense of loss. They had been so thoroughly beaten that Jax barely knew where he was anymore. He had lost his greatest anchor on this ship. "I'm sorry I wasn't here" he started.

"When are you ever?" Jax interrupted irritably.

"I'm sorry?" Garrus asked.

Jax stood and turned. "When our squad on Omega was murdered, you weren't there. When my mother was murdered by Patriarch, you weren't there. When the Collectors boarded this ship and killed or stole nearly everyone I cared about, you weren't there." Garrus couldn't hold the stare anymore and looked away. He was clearly wracked with guilt but Jax was finally beyond thinking of Garrus as someone he needed to care for. All he felt was loss, and Garrus' apology counted for nothing against that. "Stop apologising" Jax muttered bitterly, "I don't expect you to save me, because you never have, and I'm done ever hoping that you will."

Garrus didn't utter a word as he left the room. Jax felt hollow, empty, devoid of anything left. He had lost almost everything, and then out of a useless spark of rage and spat in the face of all he had left. He collapsed back into the couch. "EDI," he asked, "are you there?"

"I am always here, Specialist Weaver" EDI's calming voice replied.

"Please," he said, raising a hand, "just Jax."

"Okay Jax."

"Let me tell you about this girl" Jax said, happy for any form of company at this point, ironically especially now given his just-past actions. "And the best part about her is really the worst part, somehow weirdly enough, do you know what the worst part is? It's that she's perfect in every single way, objectively so, not just for me." Every moment he had shared with Kelly flushed through his mind. "So I know and I see and I interact with the most gorgeous, kind, funny, crazy, flirtatious, wonderful person I have ever met and I haven't known her long enough to tell her that I love her. That's the worst part of this all. And now she's gone."

"We will get her back."

"You don't know that."

"No I do not" EDI agreed. Her voice hardened with conviction. "But we will get her back."

Jax nodded. His artificial hand closed into a fist with deadly intent. "Thank you EDI." He stood up and took the elevator down to the cargo hold where his munitions were held, there was work to be done.

Shepard rose in the elevator towards her private cabin. Joker had put the ETA towards the Omega 4 Relay at around two hours, she needed to rest before then, she had no idea what they were flying into. She needed to be at her best. She entered her cabin and stiffened as she heard a noise, she was not alone in here. The noise sounded again and Shepard recognised it for what it was; retching. Someone was throwing up in her bathroom. Shepard cautiously opened her bathroom door to see a familiar figure hunched over her toilet, the usually white porcelain smattered with flecks of blue vomit, a visor laying discarded on the ground.

"Garrus?" Shepard asked. "Are you okay?"

Garrus could barely respond as he rolled off his knees to sit, leaning against the wall. His eyes were wide, his breathing loud and fast, his skin felt unnaturally warm to her touch.

"EDI" Shepard ordered, "run a medical diagnostic. Is he sick, do we need a quarantine, it something he's ingested?"

"My scans show no sign of biological afflictions Shepard" EDI reported, "however Garrus' symptoms appear to be consistent with that of a panic attack."

"A panic attack?" Shepard repeated, almost in disbelief. "But why?" She looked down at Garrus' visor at the list of names. "Jax" she realised. "It's because you almost lost him."

She studied Garrus' reaction.

"No" she realised, "it's because you already have."

"He was right Katrina" Garrus managed, throwing away all pretence of formality with her first name. "C-Sec, Omega, the Collectors, everything I touch turns to shit, more often than not it dies horribly. I can't be on this ship anymore, make a stop at Omega and I'll disembark. You need the best for this mission and I never have been part of that."

"Garrus" Shepard said softly, drawing him into a hug. "I never cared how well you could shoot a bottle or drop a geth's shields. You could be the worst shot in the galaxy and it would never make any difference to me. You're here because I couldn't do this without you, because you're one of the only people I can trust. The reason I know this is a galaxy worth saving is because I'll have to come back to, because a life with you is worth fighting for. Please," she pleaded, "don't let the mistakes of your past stop the good deeds of your future."

"I don't know how long I can keep going Shepard" Garrus confessed, "it's just one long fight after another. Even if we do stop the Collectors, it's the Reapers next, proven, repeated galaxy conquering machines. How will I know I won't ruin our chance to make it through them, how do we even make a chance to stop them?"

"I don't know" Shepard told him. "But what I do know is that whatever it takes, we'll do it together."

Garrus finally lifted his eyes, like black pools shimmering, so much contained within and Shepard could feel her heart swell with love and joy.

She noticed flecks of vomit on the front of her armour. "Come on" she whispered, "let's get you out of his and cleaned up."

He accepted her hand as she pulled him up off the ground. Shepard didn't know how to unclasp a turian's armour, she wasn't sure she'd ever seen Garrus without it but his hands guided her to the locking points, the forward breastplate coming off first, then the back and his boots next. Everything locked into the central piece around his hips, strong and supportive, so Shepard had to improvise working her way backwards from either end until the floor was littered with his pieces of armour and he was left only in an under-armour skin suit that was much more flattering to his figure. She turned to give him privacy as she heard him slide down the zips and step into the hot stream of the shower. She briefly stole of his naked silhouette in the steam before bundling his clothes into the laundry chute and set to work cleaning his armour, returning a favour long overdue. It made her simplistically happy to do something, even something so menial, for someone she cared for so deeply, she struggled to find the words for it.

The steam leaked out of the bathroom and pressed against the glass of her display case as Garrus cleaned away at his skin and his conscience, recognising Jax's words for what they were; the ill-thought lashings out of a man gripped with grief.

Shepard worked silently away, wiping away all the grime, the blood, the ash from Garrus' armour, leaving it spotless like a private right before her first inspection from the officer on deck. She looked up as one piece began to gather the droplets of condensation on it, the catalogue of his armour laid out slightly too close to the shower. She stood and approached it, at first intending to close the door but she met Garrus' eyes through the steam and her intentions changed. Her shirt was the first article of clothing to land on the floor behind her. Then her boots. Garrus never broke eye contact as she detached the belt and her pants slid down her hardened thighs, baring her naked glory to him. She stepped forward again, feeling the moisture coat her skin, the mix of hot and cold air setting the nerves under her skin alight, she could feel her nipples stir as they rose to attention.

Garrus didn't move, barely uttered a sound as she drew closer to him save for a barely audible growl in his exhale which was somehow the most erotic thing Shepard had ever heard. Her skin quickly became wet as she stepped under the shower's stream and into his arms, the friction from her smooth skin against his course exterior setting alight her every nerve. As they held each other for a moment, she took the time to study him, almost more through touch with her vision obscured through the steam. His body was sharp and angular, she could the outline of his bone structure very easily as her fingers ran down his torso. His hips emerged sharply from his streamlined waist, dividing into two powerful legs, a surprising amount of muscle built around them to what she might've imagined.

Shepard looked up so him similarly studying her, his eyes trailing over every aspect of her body, she felt his hand tracing the interlinking of the muscles down her back, trailing the water running over her body. It was the most erotic and sensuous moment of her life as she couldn't help the pitch of her breath from escalating higher, even now. Her hand trailed back his body and grazed something firm. Garrus flinched with a grunt, then met her eyes. There was no further communication necessary.

Shepard wrapped her arms around him as his lips crashed against hers, parting them for the wave of his tongue as his hands snapped her against his firm body. His fingers dug into her skin with need as his tight grip made her break the kiss with a gasp. Her hand shot out and shut off the shower with a start as they resumed the battle of their bodies and tongues. Her breasts rubbed against his chest, the rough contact making her nipples scream in pleasure. She gingerly took a step backwards as Garrus placed his hands on her hips and pushed away, but she smiled as he was quick to follow her. Still dripping with water that was becoming overtaken by lust, they kept moving back until Shepard felt her buttocks press against the lip of the desk besides her private terminal. Garrus didn't falter however, his hands snaking around her waist to grasp her behind and hoisting her onto the surface. Their bodies were virtually radiating heat now as Garrus' hands moved to her front, his enthusiastic if not slightly inexperienced touch lighting off fires at every point of contact, his accidental brushing of her left nipple made a whimper of growing desire escape her. She could feel the growing anticipation at her moistening core, she needed him to explore her without limitation, she needed to feel everything he had to offer. She tried to touch what she had accidentally brushed before with purpose but his hips shied away as he bent over, lowering his mouth to her neck. Turian teeth were sharp and Shepard winced as he nipped her at first, but then felt the pain morph into pleasure as he realised his mistake and adapted to a softer approach. He had put his study to good use, Shepard thought, his hands were deliberately teasing at all her erogenous zones with not displeasing results.

Garrus' mouth dipped lower on her body, sliding along the rise of her breasts and engulfing her nipple. Shepard's head fell back as the heat of his mouth lit a fire in her before he retreated again, tending to her other breast before sinking lower. Whatever doubts Shepard may have had about Garrus' skill, the potential mix of her DNA with his Turian physiology and the time they had left were immediately dispelled with the first swipe of his tongue. Garrus took his time, carefully examining, exploring her cautiously with eyes and tongue alike, beginning from her vulva, uncontrollably secreting her excitement now, slowly and deliberately along her labia before finally reaching her clitoris. His first touch made her entire body tense, her back arched and knees lifted, trying to hold what vestige of control she had left over the feelings flooding through her. His second split her mouth with a low but loud moan. Garrus seemed to gain confidence at the sound, his touches become more precise but left her more quickly, amplifying a desire not yet sated. His own desire was certainly palpable, his grip on her thigh tightened further, making her wince. Garrus pulled back at the reaction, afraid but Shepard reached down and grabbed his head, guiding him back into her with a soft hand now holding his. His mandibles fluttered in surprise as she grabbed him, dragging them across her and making her nearly scream in delight as he resumed his attentions on her body.

Shepard could only handle so much, she needed Garrus to be with her in the one way closer than they could be right now. She pulled him back up to her and kissed him unabashedly, tasting the concoction of her lust and his saliva upon his lips. She made a mental note to ask Mordin for a dose of antibiotics for the two of them as she took Garrus' hand and led him down the stairs where the bed lay invitingly. She laid his body down on top of it, kissing every juncture of his angular body she could find as she crawled atop him. Garrus' eyes were alight with a compound of lust and joy that could only ever be called one thing; the same thing she felt for him. Shepard exchanged another fiery, fulfilling kiss as she reached across to the plastic ring in her hand. An exchange of saliva would barely give them a rash but with so much at stake yet to come, there was no way she would take any further chances as she unwrapped the condom. Garrus' eyes widened with an exhale as her hand took his length in her hand. He was softer there, it didn't have the coarseness of the majority of his skin as her hand ran across the apex of length and back down to his base again. She could feel the differences in her hand to past humans she had slept with but Garrus was also remarkably similar in other ways as she coated him, unrolling the plastic sheath over his hot flesh.

Shepard took a moment to consider how to position herself; with Garrus' wide hips, it would be very difficult to have a leg on the bed on either side of him. Somewhat experimentally, she shimmied up him to where her legs would be over the top of his hips and began to sit backwards, controlling his trajectory with her other hand. His tip met her entrance and the pair met eyes. He nodded his consent and she sat back, enveloping him inside her. There was a minute amount pain from his length and shape as she took a moment to adjust but it was overcome in a storm of pleasure as he filled her, his skin almost feeling ribbed against her walls. She moved her hips slightly, trying to judge to best rhythm and motion to maximise the moment for both of them, Garrus' aiding hands on her hips helping her. Her hands balled into fists on his chest as they began to adjust to one another and Garrus exhaled a guttural moan again. To see such unmitigated pleasure, such pure joy in him filled her heart to near busting point as she rolled her hips back onto him again, filling her as physically as he was otherwise. Shepard was content to take it slow, saviour each and every second in this moment now but Garrus it seemed, had other ideas. Sitting up, he brought his body close to Shepard's with powerful strength and dexterity. Shepard was forced to straighten her legs, now wrapped around his waist as Garrus' hands on her rear controlled her movement, keeping buried deep inside her. Garrus again kissed her, teasing his way down her neck as Shepard's head fell back in a gasp to see the blue vortex of FTL travel racing by outside her ceiling cabin window. They had less than two hours before what could be their last moments together, their last moments alive. Being with Garrus right now, like this, Shepard couldn't think of any other way she would ever have wanted to spend those moments.