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Chapter 2- My Life Continues to Make No Sense
I tried to believe Luke's version of events, but as the summer progressed I only grew confused. I could hardly sleep. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw the dog-man ripping out Annabeth's throat, and then Luke blaming me for killing her.
One night the beginning of August, the familiar nightmare woke me up. Sticky sweat clung to my skin, and I could hardly breathe. It felt like Rocky Balboa had taken up residence in my chest and was trying to punch his way out. The clock on the wall told me it was only a little after four, but I couldn't go back to sleep.
It was too hot in my room. I needed to get out of it, and for once was glad the fire escape was right outside my window. I crawled outside, taking in a deep breath of cool air. It took a minute, but I finally felt like I could breathe. My heart beat slowed. For a moment, I enjoyed the distant murmur of the city that never slept, and tried to block out the noise in my mind.
I'd gone to a lot of therapy in my life. School councilors liked to make me their 'project'. Every one was convinced they would be the one to 'save' me, that I would be the story they could tell all their friends to prove they'd gone into the right line of work. So far I'd disappointed every one, but their words came back to me then- When faced with a choice, list out your options.
I crawled back inside and found a crumpled piece of paper- my expulsion letter from my 5th grade school. The letter itself was so short there was plenty of space to write beneath it, but I didn't want to look at my failure while trying to decide whether or not I was insane. So I flipped it over and began my list
On the left hand side, I wrote 'Proof I'm Insane' and beneath it began my tally. The list was long, filled with all the people over the year who thought I was out of my mind. After all, not many kids got kicked out of 5 schools in 5 year.
I frowned at the list, but decided to finish the task and list out the reasons 'Why I'm Not Crazy And It Is Real'
1. You know you saw it
2. The trench coat
Looking at the two lists side-by-side, my heart sank. Maybe I wasn't good at school, but I wasn't that dumb. I knew all the evidence was against me. Yet deep down, I refused to believe I was insane. I knew what I had seen, and I knew Luke and Annabeth had seen it as well. They hadn't been very good liars.
With a smirk, I decided to add that as reason number 3.
3. Annabeth and Luke were terrible liars
It didn't mean anything, but it made me feel strangely better. As did the cool air. I looked up to the sky, wishing I could see the constellations there. I remembered one night on Montauk when I was little, my mom pointing to all the constellations- 'That's Hercules, son of Zeus, the greatest hero ever. He slayed the dragon Drago, which is just besides him. There is the swan Cygnus. His father was Apollo, who turned him into a swan when he died. And there is Pegasus, the winged horse, son of… of Poseidon. And then there is the Andromeda galaxy, named after the princess Perseus saved. They're together even now in the stars.'
My mother loved Greek Mythology. Me, I could never keep the names straight in my head. I certainly couldn't see how a bunch of stars looked like a princess, or a horse, or a dragon. But what I remembered most about that night was the light in my mother's eyes as she spoke. She had looked so happy. She never looked like that anymore. Gabe was in a foul mood whenever I was home for long amounts of time, and the air conditioning in the candy store had broken, making her long shifts worse than ever.
If only things were different. I wished I could rescue her like Perseus rescued Andromeda. Life certainly was as terrifying as a sea serpent. But my namesake was a hero, and I was just a juvenile delinquent who may or may not be going crazy.
The cool air no longer felt good. I crumpled up my list and tossed it over the railing. It seemed I was the monster; it didn't matter if I littered.
When I crawled back into bed, I actually did fall back asleep. But the dream which came was scarier than any dog-man.
I stood on the edge of a pit and knew I was looking at something evil. I felt sick, like I had the flu. My head seemed to pound. My limbs were weak and shaky. I crumpled to the ground before the edge, terrified and weak. Then I heard a laugh. It seemed to come from the pit itself, and yet I knew it was only within my mind. I even knew I was asleep, but I could not wake up.
"Yes," a dangerous voice hissed in my mind. "I can sense your strength. Kneel before me and soon, all will kneel. Together we will make them."
Cool water splashed over me, and I suddenly awoke. Standing there looking terrified was my mother, an empty glass in her hand. She must have dumped it on me to wake me up.
I was definitely wet this time, but I'd never been so happy to see my mom in my life. (And that was saying something, because my mom was wonderful.) Still, the pained and frightened look on her face hurt me. I had done this. Once more I'd caused my mother, the most wonderful person in the world, to worry. I felt almost as terrible as I had kneeling before the pit.
She bent down next to me, running a hand through my hair. Her gentle touch soothed my worries immediately. When my mom played with my hair, I knew nothing in the world could hurt me. I was safe. I was loved. Everything would be alright.
"I need to go to work, but I heard you shouting in your sleep," she admitted, voice soft and light. "You've looked so tired recently. Are you having bad dreams?"
I didn't want her to worry, but even with her soothing presence, I was terrified enough to be a little selfish. Therefore I whispered, "Mom, do you think I'm crazy?"
She laughed softly at me, "Why would I think that?"
I hesitated. Should I tell her? But she knew me well enough that she'd probably worry more if I didn't tell her. "A few weeks ago I saw something impossible, but I know it was real."
She bit her lip. Sure enough I'd worried her. Actually she looked on the brink of tears. Immediately I felt horrible. Maybe I wasn't crazy, but I was definitely a horrible son. All I did was cause my mom pain.
She reached out, grabbing my hands in hers. Her voice shook a little bit, but there was a sudden strength behind her words, "Percy, there are times when we all see things no one else can. It doesn't mean we're crazy. It simply means we're special. In the old days they might even have called us wise."
I snorted a laugh at that. No one would ever dare call me wise.
She smiled, but sadly. "Percy, it's hard for me to believe how much you've grown. When I look at you I just don't know where my little boy went, but there you are, practically a man and… oh Percy, there are so many things in this life that just can't be explained. Sometimes they seem crazy but sometimes… sometimes they're just hard to say. But I promise Percy that for your birthday we'll go to the cabin, and then… then I'll tell you about your new school. Maybe by the sea I'll have the strength."
I didn't understand what she meant, but I was too excited by the prospect of going to the cabin. For years she'd been saying that money was simply too tight, but I didn't care if it was the only birthday present I would get, it would be worth it. There was no place in the world I loved more.
"Until then, just try to put these things out of your mind. It's not good for you to think about them, but I promise Percy, you're not crazy."
I didn't know how she could make that promise, but I believed her anyways. If anyone could control whether or not I was going insane, it would be my mom. Besides, with the prospect of a trip to the cabin for my birthday, everything seemed better.
The day before my birthday, Gabe behaved, and smelled, extra noxious, but we finally made it out the door. Three hours later, we sat by a little fire, roasting blue marshmallows. In the distance I could hear the waves crashing against the shore. Peace. I hadn't felt it in a long time, but I remembered the feeling then.
"Do you still remember the constellations?" My mom asked, looking up to the bright sky, a bright smile upon her face.
Unfortunately, her words made me remember the night she'd told me about this trip. I remembered my fear, and her promise of answers. I was hesitant to break the peace, but I needed to know, "Mom, why won't you even tell me my dad's name?"
She didn't get upset, which I supposed was a good thing. But a familiar look crossed her face, the one she got whenever I mentioned my dad, a strange mix of love, longing, sadness, and fear. I'd never quite understood the last emotion, and that night it seemed the strongest of the bunch. "Names have power Percy, but they don't always work the way we want them to. I can't bring him back, and if you knew you would only be in more danger."
She always talked about danger when she spoke of my dad. I didn't get it. How could knowing the name of my dad get me hurt, "Was he in the mafia or something?"
My mom laughed, clearly the idea of my dad in the mafia was funny to her. I wasn't as amused. "No Percy, nothing like that. Your father is a good man, but he comes from a powerful family. His brothers and sisters won't be happy when they discover we had a child together, and there are some who would use you to hurt your father. But someday, maybe someday soon, he'll answer all your questions himself. I know it."
I had to admit, her words made me bitter. My whole life my dad had been gone. Why would she think he would suddenly show up and explain himself? Why would she think I wanted him to? "You're the only family I need."
I meant it as a compliment, as a testament to my love, but my mom turned to me looking upset, "Don't say that Percy. Your father loves you, and someday his family will realize they need you as much as you need them. Never give up on your family Percy, especially when they want you to."
I stared into the fire before us. There were times when I wondered how my mom didn't resent me for all the trouble I caused her. If I'd never been born, she'd be a world-class author, I knew it. Instead she was married to a jerk, worked far too much, and had to deal with all the trouble I caused. Who got kicked out of five schools in a row?
"Where is my new school?"
"Let's take a walk," my mom suggested, not answering my question. I stuffed another blue marshmallow in my mouth, then kicked sand on the fire until it went out.
My mom didn't answer my question immediately. Instead we walked along the coast, letting the waves wash over our feet. The water was warm, inviting. My every instinct was to dive right in, swim to the bottom of the ocean and never leave. It was an odd instinct. For the moment, though I just enjoyed the water.
"Ouch!" my mother squeaked, rubbing her foot. She bent down and picked up the oyster she'd stepped on. When she opened it, a big blue pearl rested inside. It was beautiful, and I didn't need to know anything about jewelry to know she could make a lot of money selling it. That was why I was horrified when she frowned and threw it back in the sea.
"Mom!" I shouted. Suddenly I remembered all the oysters she'd thrown back into the ocean over the years. Had any of those had pearls as well? If so, why would my mom possibly throw them away? She deserved to be adorned in pearls, and if for some reason she didn't like how they looked, well then why didn't she just sell them?
She smiled at me, but shook her head, "Percy, there is one thing I want you to know before you ever meet your father- we all have to make our own way in this world. Your life is your own, and you must not let anyone, not even me or your father, tell you who you should be. The sea may want me to be a queen, but I would much rather be your mother."
I didn't understand her at all. I ended up standing there for a long time, just staring at the waves. How could she give up something so valuable? Who would pick me over being a queen?
"Your school is called Achilles Academy. I don't much like the name, but perhaps that is it's Achilles' heel." It was such a bad joke that I could not help by laugh along with my mother, and finally leave the pearl behind me.
My mother continued speaking, though she hardly seemed to remember I was there, "Your father made me promise I would send you there once you were old enough. I don't see how twelve is possibly old enough, but considering your nightmares… It is the best place for you. I will be able to see you during breaks and it carries a good enough name with colleges."
Woah, wait, colleges? I was a solid D student. How could my mom possibly think I would ever get into college? Besides, this was my sixth school in six years. There was no way I'd manage the next seven years in the same place. I would consider it a miracle if I made it two!
My mom must have read my mind. "You won't get expelled Percy, I promise. This school… it's different. It's for people who are different, people like you."
Her words stung. Of course I knew I was a freak, but it wasn't nice hearing my own mom say it. She must have seen the look on my face, because she reached out and ruffled my hair, "Percy, the things that make you different are the things that make you strong. Once you go, you'll realize that. All of the kids there have ADHD and dyslexia, and the school uses the way your brains work to turn you into something incredible. But you Percy, you are already incredible. There you will be great."
I wasn't entirely convinced. I'd been to other schools before with ADHD and dyslexic kids, but my terrible luck had followed me, and I'd been expelled. ADHD and dyslexia doesn't make you insane. There was something else wrong with me.
But standing there, my feet in the ocean, it was so easy to believe my mom. Maybe this school would be just the right place for me. Maybe if I tried really hard to be good, I could keep from getting expelled, and I would find someway to pass my classes. Besides, this was my father's school. I knew legacy kids at my other schools. It didn't seem to matter what they did. You never got in trouble if your great-great grandfather went there. From the way my mom was talking, I was a legacy at this school… though how I was supposed to drop my father's name when I didn't even know it was beyond me.
"But Percy, I need you to promise me something."
"Anything." And I meant it. For my mom I would go to Hell. I would hold up the sky. I would do anything.
She smiled, and pulled me into a tight hug. It was only once she let go that I saw the glistening tears in her eyes. She was crying, but I could not possibly tell if it was because she was happy for me, or if she was upset. "Promise me that whatever happens you won't forget your poor mother. I may not be a part of that world, but you are my world, and I cannot possibly lose you."
"Of course Mom. I promise."
I have never regretted that promise, even though I did not understand what she meant at the time. I figured she was worried I would become a ritzy prep who was embarrassed by my working-class mom. I didn't realize she was actually asking for forgiveness. Forgiveness for the things she had not told me. Forgiveness for bringing me into a world that hated me. Forgiveness for loving me enough to let me go.
But even if I had known what she meant, I wouldn't have changed my answer. My mom deserved the world. Instead she got me, and she was happy for it. I will always love her first.
That night, after my mom had fallen asleep, I found myself sneaking out of the cabin and into the cool air. It wasn't a nightmare that woke me this time. Somehow the crashing waves calmed my thoughts and kept the nightmares away for the first time in a month. No, I'd woken up on purpose, and set out into the night on a mission.
I looked up at the sky, and spotted the Andromeda galaxy. I remembered my thought from a few weeks before, I whispered, "I'll save you mom, just as Perseus did."
What can I say? I hadn't gotten the moral of my mom's story, but then again, I was only twelve and two-hours old.
Diving into the ocean seemed as natural as breathing. In fact, it took me a few minutes to realize that I was breathing, breathing perfectly normally, despite the fact that I was underwater. I wasn't wet either. Somehow, I wasn't surprised. All the strange things which had happened lately, they seemed unimportant now that I was underwater. No, that wasn't true. They seemed infinitely more important, but a good sort of important. I didn't understand, but I didn't need to understand. It just felt right.
I don't know if I sat there in the water five minutes or five hours, but I finally remembered my mission. It wasn't difficult to find the pearl once I remembered what I was looking for. My vison seemed sharper than usual, and I was drawn to where the oyster lay. When I found it, I discovered it wasn't alone. There seemed to be a dozen of pearls lying nearby: pink, white, black, blue. Somehow I knew that my mom had found all of these, and thrown them back. Every visit to the cabin over the years she'd been doing the same thing, and I just couldn't understand why.
I scooped them up until my pockets were heavy with the sea gems. I was about to swim back to the surface when I noticed I wasn't alone.
I thought for a second it was my mom, but my mom, for someone who loved the beach, hardly ever went swimming. Besides, my mom wouldn't be able to breathe ten feet below the surface, and she wouldn't have radiated such light. But the smile upon the woman's face was just like my mom's. If this woman wasn't a mother, I was a fool.
"Um, hello," I greeted her dumbly. Then I remembered how difficult it was to hear underwater, and felt stupid. But of course she could hear me. After all, it was also difficult to breathe underwater, and we were both managing that just fine.
"Hello, Perseus," she answered, a smiling creeping across her lips. "Enjoying your swim?"
She was making fun of me. I just knew it. Then again, it was odd to go swimming in the middle of the night, but hey, that's me-odd. Besides, I wasn't really swimming.
She knew that as well. A soft sadness crossed her gaze, and she told me firmly, "She will not accept your gift, Perseus. Did she not already throw them back?"
"I was planning on selling them and sneaking her the money. Put it under the couch or something," I admitted. It sounded like a stupid plan when I said it aloud.
"Does she normally find thousands of dollars hidden in the couch?" the water-woman asked me, light amusement in her voice. She thought I was funny, but frankly I was too shocked to care. Thousands of dollars? I'd known pearls were expensive, but could I really get thousands of dollars for each one?
"Tell me, Perseus. Do you resent your mother for returning these gifts? Had she accepted them you could have lived the life of a prince. Instead you suffer."
This is going to sound really stupid, but it hadn't even crossed my mind that these pearls would have changed my life as much as they changed my mom's. All I'd been thinking about was her quitting her job, getting her degree, writing her novel, leaving Gabe. I hadn't considered that I might be able to go on vacation for more than two days a year, or splurge on more than Burger King and a movie from Blockbuster.
I tried to imagine a life where my mom and I were rich. We'd get a nice apartment by Battery Park, or maybe move to Montauk full time. I'd be rich enough that no school would dare kick me out, no matter what happened. People listened to you when you had money. They believed you. They said money couldn't buy happiness, but that was only to make poor people feel better, right?
The woman smiled, "You are a good son, Perseus. Better than my own. But your mother has already told you why she does not want these gifts. Respect her wishes, but keep the pearls. She misunderstood one thing; they were never just for her. These pearls are your heritage. Sell them only if you are in dire need, for they are worth more to you as they are. What belongs to the sea shall always return, Perseus. You have proven that."
She began to fade, as if melting into the ocean itself. I was confused and a little bit frightened when I called out to her, "Wait! Can't you tell me how all of this is possible?"
"For you, Perseus, all things are possible. You will find your explanations soon enough, I promise you that. For your mother's sake, enjoy these last days of childhood… Oh, and Percy? Your father and I both wish you a happy birthday. May it not be your last."
She waved her hand, and disappeared. I rose to the surface, my mind foggy and slow. Once more I was dry, and as I crawled into bed, I felt half asleep.
When my mom woke me in the morning, I was certain it had just been another odd dream. I'd certainly had many as of late, and for some reason conversations with the sea itself was a little too weird, even for me.
But when I looked in my pocket, I found twelve glittering pearls inside.
