Chapter 15

Readjusting to civilian life hadn't been an easy task. It wasn't just the diet, of course animal blood paled in comparison to the real thing especially after twenty years of drinking one over the other, however Bella found herself able to accumulate to the taste and the scent at a steady pace Jasper observed in astonishment; but also the emotion, the guilt, submersing herself back into human life. Six months paled in comparison to two decades withdrawn of humanity and empathy. Some days were better than others, some she still struggled. At her lowest she wanted to give up, to push everyone around her aside and end it herself. But Edward never let her go. He stayed true to his word and he never left.

For the first few weeks after coming home, Chicago, the thought of the Volturi plagued her mind. Battle strategy and hyper awareness kept her occupied at every minute though hindering her ability to move on. After two months their presence was still absent and Bella forced herself to accept that her fear lived only in her head, and all she could do was live in the moments she was lucky to have.

Alice was always on the lookout. A small piece of acknowledgement that helped calm her thoughts.

Things progressed well with the Cullens. She fell back into her friendship with Alice with ease and true to her word Alice used every tactic to get her into her room for another round of 'dress up Bella.' Carlisle and Esme were…well they were Carlisle and Esme. Emmett more than anyone else seemed to thoroughly enjoy her status as a vampire; often the two would battle it out, Emmett desperate to show off his strength sure he could defeat his opponent in a fight. One he had yet to actually win much to his despair and Bella's proud delight.

The most shocking of all was her newfound relationships with Rosalie and Jasper. Though different from the easy going nature of Alice and Emmett, the three of them had come to an understanding. Guilt and pain more prominent in themselves than the others tended to ever show, they really helped her moving forwards. Maybe her newly relationship with Rose is what both easily shocked her and charmed her the most. The two got along easily, Rose's past bitterness towards the brunette gone, their connection largely built on a understanding of past trauma, of tragic heartbreak and relishing in revenge. Rosalie had explained how a large part of her dislike for Bella had come from her willingness to give up her life, as she best put it, but with that far in the past and a decision that Bella herself had not come to there wasn't much past resentment to hold onto.

And then there was Edward.

What could she say about him?

He'd been her rock through the entire thing, her knight in shining armour if she were still naïve enough to believe such existed. He'd reassured her, he'd showered her with love doing everything he could to rebuild the cracks of their relationship. He'd been a friend, a confident, he respected her wishes but most of all he had never given up on her, never let her own insecurities get in the way. He had been the shoulder she leaned on when her own guilt and darkness become over bearing.

He had been wonderful.

When she had found about Charlie's passing six years ago he held her as she was riddled with pain, guilt and regret.

And that's what brought her here. At the headstone of her father's grave.

Charlie Swan 1964 – 2022

A devoted father, a friend to many. See he will be protected as he fought to protect us. R.I.P

Her father had remarried Sue Clearwater after her husband Harry had fallen ill and died. She had two children, Leah and Seth meaning she technically had two step siblings, something she never thought she was gain. Charlie had lived the best he could but the disappearance of his daughter never knowing what had happened to her never left him and in the end…it was her that put him in a early grave.

Her mother and Phil seemed to have better luck. Both had retired and moved to Hawaii to play out the rest of their golden years. Alike to her father they had never truly moved on, how could a parent be expected to move on from the loss of their child?, but as time passed their pain had lessened.

She wanted to reach out to them of course. To reassure her mother that she was okay but there was no explanation to why their almost forty year old daughter still looked eighteen nor where she had been for the past twenty years. Any explanation was only put a target on their backs from the Volturi, an already fragile relationship they couldn't risk to betray.

Nevertheless it still hurt.

"I guessed I would find you here." A male voice rang out coming to stand beside her, "You okay?" His voice was barely above a whisper. Edward.

She looked between him and her fathers grave, "It's just- hard you know? I feel so guilty."

Edward with caring eyes pulled her to his chest, "You have nothing to feel guilty about. What happened to you wasn't your fault. And hey-" This time he turned her so they were both facing each other, his hands cupping her face, "Wherever your father is he's looking down at you and he knows that you're okay, and that you're safe."

She placed a hand on his chest, cloaked by his winter coat for show, "I thought Edward Cullen didn't believe in heaven and hell?"

"Well…I've been wrong before." He stared at her as though she were the moon, so much love captured in his eyes.

They had never officially reinitiated their relationship, they had taken it one day at a time getting to know and trust one another all over again. Sometimes she didn't what to call him, to call them. But she did know three things; first she had never been more grateful for the Cullens showing up for her ball and their refusal to leave her alone. Second, her new life was a chance she was glad she had taken. And third, she was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

"We should get heading back." She pulled away, her feet sinking under piles of snow, "If I don't give Alice the proper amount of time for her to get me ready for our date we'll never hear the end of it." She smiled as his hand found hers.

"Well we can't have that. Though I'm certain you would look perfect in a plastic bag."

His grip on hers was tight, and he never let go.