Daryl sometimes wondered which was harder: to leave someone or to be left behind. To break the spirit of another or have your spirit broken. She'd have to piece herself back together. Again. After the damage he had done. But, Daryl also came to the realization that he didn't know what to do next.

He had planned to make a deal with the devil. Daryl was ready to go wherever, and do whatever Blake wanted, so long as he left her alone. But, to Daryl's surprise, Merle had concocted a whole plan with Rick, of all people. Apparently, the Christmas Eve bust was big news, and one of the department's greatest triumphs. A small-town Sheriff took down an entire drug ring. It was almost too good to be true. Which is why the FBI was apparently poking around, according to Merle. Although, once he got back in to town, the FBI somehow seemed less exciting. Instead, everyone was all about her.

"Where's Blondie?"

"Where is she?"

"Is she sick?"

"Did she quit?"

"Don't tell me you broke up!"

There only so many ways to say she was gone and wasn't coming back. Ever. Daryl wasn't even sure how to explain it. So, he didn't. Maybe being a social pariah was better after all. Everyone was too scared to pry into his business back then. So, he kept to himself. Hoping she would fade in everyone's memory. Including his. They all just needed a little time. Then things could go back to the way they always were.

Time did pass. Slowly but surely. Winter melted into Spring, and soon enough, the grass grew back where she used to park the truck. Her presence was disappearing, week by week, month my month. Eventually, an entire year passed, a she was almost a ghost.

Sometime, little things would remind him she was real. A stray bobby pin, a half empty perfume bottle. But, on those occasions, Daryl simply swept those in the close trash can. He wanted…no…needed…every piece of her gone. Except for the truck.

Daryl didn't dare drive thing once he made it home. He couldn't bring himself to. But he also couldn't bring himself to sell it. Hell, he wouldn't even get his time or money back on the thing. So, instead, it sad collecting dust and rust in the garage.

Day in, and day out, Daryl had the same routine. Eat, work, sleep, repeat. Eat, work, sleep, repeat. He didn't stay at the cabin any longer than he needed to most days. He was miserable. There was no doubt about it. But, thinking of the alternative made him feel worse. He was fine with being miserable, so long as she was happy.

Was she happy?

He had to believe she was. Or he'd drive himself mad.

A few weeks into February, Daryl was elbow deep in paperwork. Apparently, their books hadn't been straight for at least the last two years. No surprise there. But it was a welcomed distraction. Merle was in the corner of the office, chatting aimlessly about useless things, and asking him to at least crack open a goddamn beer to take the edge off. His stupid brother finally stopped when he heard the mail slip through the slot and fall to the ground.

"I'll get it." Merle left the room but quickly came back.

"If any of those are bill you need to give them to me." Daryl didn't bother to look up and continued is working.

Merle shuffled through the envelopes then let out a little gasp. "Ah, hell."

Daryl's eyes shot up. "What now?"

Without another word, Merle set a little white envelope on the stack of papers. There writing was neat and familiar. It was her writing. But, he also couldn't help but notice there was a little insignia in the corner of the envelope. For Georgia State University. So, she ended up going after all?

"Damn are you just going to look at it or are you gonna open it?" Merle whined.

Daryl huffed. "Why would I open it. There's nothing left to say."

"She sure as shit thinks there is if she's writing you." Merle protested.

"Merle, we both know she just likes to have the last word." Daryl sighed. "It easier to just leave it."

"But…"

"…Leave it, Merle."

Merle clasped his lips shut. Unfortunately, his stupid brother was the only one that knew the full story, and only because he'd practically beaten it out of Daryl. At times, Merle liked to joke about it. But this time, he at least knew not to push it. Daryl got up. God. Now he needed a stiff drink. He had honestly never expected to hear from her again. Which he was fine with. He was fine with her hating him. He didn't want to know what the letter said. Therefore, he never planned on reading it. As he made his way to the front door he tossed the letter in garbage can.

…

More time passed. Although, Daryl wasn't sure how long it had been, until he came out of his month-long bender. The letter hit him harder than he thought and Daryl abandoned his responsibilities for bottle. As Daryl licked is wounds. Most didn't dare mention to bring her up to him. But, sometimes, when Daryl was extra miserable, the boys liked to poke their bear. Jim, in particular, got rather irritable whenever Daryl was "moping around" like a kicked puppy. Daryl would ignore it for the most part. But when they wanted it to sting, it did.

"I don't know man, this is a lot of energy for a girl you didn't even like."

"What?" Daryl looked from the bar and towards Jim.

Lori looked at Daryl, then looked at Merle, then gave Jim a warning gaze. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about…"

"Beth?"

Daryl rolled his eyes a got up. Ready to walk away from Jim. But that day, seemed to be the day he wanted to rub Daryl every wrong way he could. "It just funny how…how did you say it Merle?" Jim laughed. "How you've moped around about this girl you couldn't t even say I lo–"

Daryl must have blacked out, because the last thing he remembered was telling Jim to shut it. Then, the next thing he knew, Daryl was being pulled of Jim. Daryl's knuckles were, of course, covered in blood. Lori was yelling at him, Merle too. He didn't know what either of them were saying and didn't much care to know. Instead he stomped out of the bar and toward the garage.

…

Back at the garage, Daryl sat, boiling in his anger. Merle arrived soon after he did and screamed at his as Daryl washed the blood off his hand. "What the hell was that?" Merle shouted at him. "Were you going to kill him? Would that have made you feel better? You idiot!"

"Merle, get out!" Daryl roared.

"Fine." Merle retorted. "But take this and stop being such a baby."

Merle reached in to his jacket and retrieved a piece of paper. No. An envelope? Daryl couldn't help but roll his eyes. The seal was already torn open. Which means Merle had read it. Daryl should have known better. His brother was far to nosy to ever let something like that letter go and Merle probably dug it out the second Daryl turned his back on the bin. But, he hadn't expected his brother to keep it for so long and without a word about it.

"Go ahead and read that." Merle shoved the letter in his face. "Go on!"

"Jesus Christ, okay!" Daryl snatched the envelope from his brother's greasy fingers.

Merle, pleased with himself, walk out of the room, but Daryl didn't hear him leave. Daryl didn't open it right away. He toyed with the idea of tearing it up before he could. But, eventually, he peeled the single sheet of paper out of the envelope. More neat writing.

Dear Daryl,

For a long time, I was angry at you. Actually, for I while I thought I damn near hated you. I hated what you said, and I hated what you did. I carried those words with me every day, and when I closed my eyes all I could see was you leaving. The weight of it all was almost too much to handle. Losing Daddy put in me a dark place and you were my light in the dark. But, I never should have put it on you to fix me. That wasn't something you couldn't do, and not just because of your own demons. But, because it was something only I could do.

I get that now.

Being without you has taught me that holding on to the hurt and the pain doesn't do any good. So, I'm choosing to let it go and I'm choosing to forgive you. That doesn't mean I'm choosing to forget you or let go of the love that remains for you though. The good times, and the bad times, are precious to me. There was no better feeling than falling asleep next to you, and holding your hand felt like I was on top of the world. I liked that feeling and I still want it. Even if you're not by my side.

A lot of days are still hard. Sometimes almost unbearable. But, I think I'm less lost than I used to be. So, thank you. Thank you for giving me a compass to help find myself again and for forcing me to grow up and face my fears. Although our time was together was a whirlwind I'll appreciate and continue to learn from every moment.

Beth.

Daryl stared at the page for a long time. Read it over a dozen times. Every emotion he had ever felt for her, every single one he had pushed down and tried to suffocate, all came charging back at once. He missed her. Everything about her. She seemed to have gotten everything she wanted. Hadn't she? His sacrifice got her want she wanted.

So, why did he want to see her so badly?

Dammit. Daryl got up and walked out of the office. Merle was sitting at the cashier, arms crossed, with a smug look on his face. He eyed Daryl as he grabbed a set of keys "And where are you going?"

"Atlanta." Daryl said.

"And why's that?" Merle asked, but already knew the answer.

Daryl needed to see her. He needed to know for sure that the girl he loved was okay.