Chapter 9

Who Are You?

"Who are you to General Armitage Hux?"

Poe studied Amara's reaction. He had to give her credit where credit was due, she had been trained well. She remained unflinching at the mention of Hux's name. He would have believed that she had no idea what he was talking about if he hadn't watched her struggle in her sleep with his own eyes and heard the words coming out of her mouth.

After discovering her in the cargo bay, Snap helped him pick her up. With Snap clearing the way, Poe carried her limp body in his arms to the crew's quarters. After laying her down on the first cot he reached he took a step back and really looked at her.

His heart thumped proud in his chest as he saw that she was still wearing his sweater from earlier. After their last meeting he was sure that she would have tossed it.

He was also sure that he wouldn't see her again.

He knew that their paths were never meant to cross and that they both lived two completely different lives.

While he wanted to get out on the front lines, she wanted to stay and hide amongst the shadows. Hell, he couldn't judge her for it. This war made many people afraid, and it was unreasonable to expect everyone to take a stand. Some people were not afforded that type of luxury.

But when he saw her on his ship again, he couldn't deny the pull he felt at his heart. He saw the look that Snap gave him when noticed him holding his mother's ring. Only Snap knew what that ring meant to him, and he knew that Snap would have a million questions for him when they were alone.

He heard the footsteps of the rest of his squad coming to a halt outside the door. He could hear low murmurs that they were making to each other.

He knew that they questions for him.

He knew that they wanted answers.

That is why when he turned to look at his team, his shoulders back as he look at each one of them, he slammed the door shut in their faces, and closed himself inside the room with Amara.

He ignored the shouts and protests that came from the opposite side of the door as he threw the lock. He did not want to face his crew right now.

He wasn't ready for their questioning. He wasn't ready because he didn't have an answer for any of the questions they would have. He couldn't even begin to process all his own questions that were swirling around his head like a vortex.

Is she really here? How did she get here?

Did she know he was on this ship? Did she follow him?

Is she working for someone? Is she running from someone or something?

Is she okay? Is she still breathing?

Okay she is breathing. Am I breathing?

Why does it feel like all oxygen has left my body?

"WRRRRRP EEEET"

The mechanical beeps pulled him out of the thought spiral he was caught in. Poe looked down and saw that BB-8 was still in the room with him.

He shouldn't have been surprised. His droid was a part of him and was rarely from his side. BB-8 was loyal to him and regarded him as more than just a master but a confidant, and Poe would be a liar if he didn't admit that he felt the same.

At times when Poe found himself unable to trust the rest of his squadron, he knew he could always turn to BB-8. They each would look after each other and Poe thought of the little droid as more than just an astromech, but as family.

"OOOOT RRRRRP?"

He sighed. "Yeah, I know her."

"BRRRRT EEEEEE?"

"Nah Beebee I'm not mad." He gave his droid a reassuring smile. He held up his index and thumb and pressed them close together. "Maaaaaaybe use a little less voltage next time."

BB-8's dome head drooped, and he made a very melancholic beep. Poe held back a laugh at the disappointment the droid showed. He was about to say something when Amara stirred.

"No."

Her voice was barely above a whisper, but he didn't miss the fear in her voice. He knelt beside the cot and brushed her hair off her face. Her face was scrunched, her mouth pursed together in a grimace. Her knuckles slowly turning white as her fingers tightly gripped the fabric of the blanket beneath her.

"What's going on in that head of yours," he pondered out loud.

"No. No. Stop!"

Her voice was getting louder, and her arms twitched as if she was fending off an attack. He gently placed his hand on the side of her face and spoke.

"Amara."

He needed to wake her up. Being with people who saw war first hand, he was all too familiar with night terrors. They were extremely common among the members of the resistance.

Night terrors were unlike typical bad dreams. They often involved physical thrashing and could prove dangerous for the person experiencing the terror.

While he wanted to wake her up, he needed to tread carefully. He didn't want to cause her more confusion and/or possibly shock. He knew he needed to approach her with gentleness and comfort.

"Please… Armitage… Don't let them take me."

That… that caused him to pause. He knew that name.

It wasn't a totally unique name, sure. Hell, he probably could name a handful of people with that same name. But his gut told him that he knew exactly who her Armitage was.

"Come back to me," he whispered into her ear as he got down on his knees in front of her.

"You're hurting me."

He knew she wasn't talking to him but instead to whomever she was seeing in her sleep, but he couldn't stop himself from pulling his hand away from her.

"Baby… Please," he pleaded softly.

"Armitage! Armitage!"

Watching her struggle in pain and hearing her call out that man's name caused bile to move up the back of his throat as he felt pulse rise from anger. What the hell is he doing to you? He couldn't take this anymore.

He needed this to stop now.

He gripped her arm tightly and jerked her hard. "AMARA!"

"What do you think is going on in there?" Jess questioned as she pressed her ear against the door.

Kare stood facing the closed door, her arms crossed over her chest. She shrugged. "My guess is one of two things. Either A, he is tying her up so he could question her and see why she thought she could stowaway on our ship—"

"Technically we stole the ship, so it wasn't really ours to begin with," Jess muttered under her breath as she pressed more of her body against the door. She couldn't hear anything through the thick metal. She glanced at Kare and saw that she was looking at her with obvious annoyance. "Sorry if we're going to start throwing stones, I wanted to at least point out that we aren't blameless either… you know, glass houses or whatever. Anyways, please continue. So 'A', he is torturing her? I never saw Poe as the torturing type."

Kare shook her head and sighed. "No, he's not. That's why it's probably 'B'. He has her tied up in there for other reasons," she said as she wriggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"What reasons?" Jess asked. When she was met with silence, she realized her mistake and immediately blushed. "Oh god. He wouldn't. Not with Beebee in there. Would he?"

Kare shrugged. "Who knows what that droid has seen." She groaned and ran her hand over her face. "I'm not going to stand out here all night. He obviously has it handled, whatever he is doing in there. It's already been a crazy night and my body is on reserves. I'm going to grab a bite and head to bed."

Jess nodded and pulled away from the door. "Yeah, same. I can't hear anything anyways. I'm going to go straight to bed. Wake me if anything new happens." Jess walked down the hallway and turned into one of the crew quarters and shut the door behind her.

Kare started to walk away but noticed that Snap was still standing in the hallway, his head down. He looked as if he was lost in thought. Kare walked to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "Snap, you coming?"

He looked up at her with confusion. He shook his head and blinked a couple times. "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"I asked if you were coming. Jess is going to bed and I was going to grab something to snack and head to bed." She ran her hand up and down his arm gently. "You want to join me?"

Snap nodded. "Yeah. Yeah sure."

"Who are you to General Armitage Hux?"

Amara made sure to be careful to keep her eyes focused on Poe's. She was prepared for this. She was prepared for the time that someone would begin to put pieces of her past together. She was taught that the best way to avoid being caught in a lie was to tell as much of the truth that was allowed.

"I am nothing to General Hux."

That was not a lie. He had made it clear that he held little regard for her. If he had truly cared, he would have left with her all those years ago.

"You told me that you weren't with the First Order," he spoke, his tone accusatorial. Poe's questioning gaze never left hers, his eyes doing nothing to hide his anger.

"And I was telling you the truth. I am not with the First Order." Amara's voice was more defensive than she would have liked. She didn't owe him anything. He wasn't anything to her and his reaction shouldn't have stung. But she couldn't stop the feeling of her stomach dropping, nor could she stop herself from saying the next thing that came out of her mouth. "Not anymore."

"Not anymore? What do you mean 'not anymore'?"

Her head lowered and she nervously tucked her hair behind her ear. "I used to be part of the First Order, but I am not anymore."

She saw him pull back in his seat. He stood and walked the two steps to the set of bunks on the opposite side of the room. He groaned as he turned and sat on the bottom bunk. He rested his elbows on his knees and placed his head in his hands.

"Look, I know what this sounds like… But I promise you that I am of no threat to you and your team."

"A threat. Boy are you wrong about that," he mumbled as he ran his hand across his face, his eyes hooded as his eyes avoided hers.

"Look, I don't want to be a part of what the First Order is doing. I refuse. Like I said, drop me off anywhere you like. Hell, open the landing bay and throw me out—"

His head snapped up. "You think I would toss you out with the garbage?" His brows furrowed, his anger bubbling up to the surface once more. He raised his hands as he was about to say something, but he hesitated, before placing his head back in his hands. His thumb and forefinger pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It wouldn't be the first time someone did," she thought to herself, not daring to say those words out loud. She didn't have anything to say to him. She didn't know what to say.

"Are you running from them?"

She didn't say anything, letting her silence speak for her.

"Who are you… really?"

She owed him her name at least. "My name is Amara Elaine."

But not her whole name.

After getting a snack from the kitchen pantry Kare invited Snap to join her in her quarters. Snap climbed into the cot first and then Kare crawled over his chest. She curled up against him with her back against the wall. She placed her head on his chest and rested her arm across his body. Snap took her hand in his and lazily began to trace his thumb along the back of her hand.

After a while Kare noticed that his breathing hadn't changed. She looked up at him and saw that he was still awake, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

"Snap, what's up? You haven't said anything in a while."

He shook his head. "There is something about her… Something that I can't quite put my finger on."

"Is she the girl you told me about that stole his watch?"

"I believe so. Well… it seems pretty obvious with the way he reacted to seeing her. But that's not what is getting me."

"What is it then?"

"I think I know her. I just don't know how."