Chapter 12

Welcome Home

Amara walked into the bedroom and she inhaled deeply, taking in the smell of the air. Incense burned on the windowsill, the long stick filling the room with hazy swirls of wood and spice. She exhaled as she walked forward and dropped her bag at the foot of the bed.

She sat down next to her bag and she felt her body dip into the soft mattress. She closed her eyes and sighed. The window was slightly open, and she could hear the soft sounds of wildlife outside. The chirps were bright and melodious. Keeping her eyes closed she fanned her fingers across the coarse blanket that was covering the bed. The pills of fabric felt much different that the cool smooth fabric of her blanket at the academy. She could feel the cloudiness of her mind being gently cleared as she felt her body relax to the melodies.

There was a soft knock on the door. She opened her eyes and turned towards the door. Amara was met with the smiling face of the redheaded woman.

"I am just checking in with everyone to see that they're all settled."

"I am. Thank you Mrs.—"

"Leona." The woman smiled, her eyes crinkling at the edges as she looked at Amara with warmth. If sunshine manifested in a person, it would be this woman. "You can call me Leona. And your name?"

Amara placed her hands in her lap. "Amara."

"Such a beautiful name. I'm so sorry for Kes' outburst out there. It has," she cleared her throat. "Well, it has been some time since they last spoke."

"No need to explain." Amara shrugged. "I sure have thought more than once to sucker punch your son in the gut."

Leona's face whitened and Amara had wondered if she overstepped. Perhaps this woman was strictly against any show of violence.

"Oh no, Poe is not my son." She winced. "I mean, he is my son," she shook her head. "Actually, he is Kes' son, not mine," her eyes widened and she shook her head faster. "Not that I don't love him like my own son. I wish he was my son," she said quickly before she lowered her head and groaned. Her hands fell at her sides dejectedly. She closed her eyes and took a measured breath. After a few moments she looked up at Amara and her smile returned, although this time composed. "What I'm trying to say is that he is my step-son."

Amara couldn't help but smile at this woman and her awkwardness. But when Amara saw the sadness behind Leona's eyes gave her heart pulsed, and for a moment she could see a glimpse of what her story told. "I apologize for the confusion."

"Nonsense." Leona shook her head and wiped her palms on her apron. "You probably wanted to get some rest before supper. I have a fresh pot of stew on the fire."

Amara shook her head. "Thank you so much, but I'm not that hungry. I'll probably just take a walk before turning in for the evening."

Leona nodded once. "Completely understandable. Let me know if you need anything else." She walked across the room and stopped at the large bureau that stood in the corner. "There are extra blankets in the bottom drawer here." She opened the drawer and Amara could see a variety of different linens. "Kes always gives me a hard time saying that I would be cold even in Tatooine in the summer. That's why I always make sure to keep plenty of blankets in each room." She winked at Amara before she closed the drawer. She then touched the other drawers softly. "The rest of these drawers are empty if you want to unpack and put your things inside. There is also a washroom down the hall if you wanted to clean up and get changed."

Amara glanced down at her one knapsack that sat on the bed beside her. She thought of the contents inside. Her wallet, a blaster, a few other small trinkets. She had no other spare clothes, other than the ones she had on. "I'm afraid I packed pretty light this trip," she said casually.

Leona furrowed her brow as she eyed the small bag. "That's all that you brought with you?"

"I umm… I didn't have much time to pack up before I had to leave," she said cautiously, unsure of what Leona was told about their prior exploits.

Leona tilted her head sideways as she eyed her. As if seeming to come up with a decision she nodded and stood straight. "Right. Well… I'll leave you to it then." She walked towards the door. "I'll make sure to leave some food out for you in the kitchen if you get hungry later."

"Th-thank you Leona."

Leona held her hand on the door frame and smiled, her eyes crinkling at the sides once more. She was now smiling genuinely again, and Amara could feel that warmth once more radiating from this woman. "Your welcome Amara. Go get some fresh air. You still have a couple hours before the sun sets, and you don't want to miss it. The sunsets on Yavin are unparalleled to anywhere else in the galaxy."

Amara walked until she reached the edge of a green plateau. The hill dropped and before her she saw the tops of trees. The greenery went out as far as she could see. From where she stood, she had the perfect view of the sun dipping behind the trees. Leona was not lying. The sunset before her was breathtaking.

She watched as the sunset spread across the sky as it dipped towards the horizon. Rich hues of red blended with oranges, purples, and crimsons. She lowered herself so that she was sitting on the mossy ground. She sat and watched where the fiery sky touched the earth. Silhouettes of birds flew across the sky and as she closed her eyes, she could hear their songs. Before her she saw the waning lights of the sun reach out towards the jungles, as if trying to desperately hold onto the last moments of paradise before it disappeared.

"As much as I am away from home, I much prefer the jungles on Yavin."

Amara inhaled at the sound of his voice. She knew that she wouldn't be left alone. She wouldn't be surprised if she learned that he had a tracker installed on her when she was passed out from that taser. She made a mental note to do a preliminary check of her body once she returns to her room.

She continued to look out at the horizon, not moving even as Poe took a seat on the soft ground beside her. He stretched his legs casually out in front of him as he leaned backwards, bracing himself with his arms extended.

"I always found it full of miracles… spiderwebs glittering with fresh raindrops, new trees growing from the trunks of fallen ones. And if you were quiet enough you could hear the sound of the leaves overhead, swaying with the wind. I'll tell you tusk cat but it's better than any band I ever heard," he said proudly.

She didn't respond to him, instead choosing to continue watching the sun as it began its dip below the horizon. She glanced over her shoulder and saw that their shadows were slowly shrinking. As she turned to look back at the sunset, she glanced at Poe as he sat beside her.

His eyes were steady ahead as they watched the sky, his face aglow with orange and crimson from the waning sun. His lips beared the semblance of a smile, just enough to show that he was enjoying his thoughts, whatever they may be. It took every ounce of strength she had to not move closer to him.

"I remember coming out here with my grandfather," said Poe began, thoughtfully. "'See those colors nieto?'" His voice deepened and held the trace of an accent."'They are symbols. Each showing you the good tomorrow can be.'"

His voice seemed distant, as if he was lost in a memory. While he had a slight smile, she could see the sadness behind his eyes. Gone was the cocky flyboy, but instead she could see his gentle vulnerability peeking through. She glanced down and saw how his hands sunk into the moss beneath them. It was as if the ground was reaching towards him and anchoring him to this world, his home. Sitting here in this spot that brought back memories for him, she could see that he was slowly dropping his guard.

Amara looked down at her own hands and how they rested on top of the moss. She was like a cut flower, no roots at all, nothing anchoring her to this world. She had no roots to protect her, to support her.

She wanted to believe Poe when he says that with the sunset comes a dawn that brought new opportunities. All the pain that she has suffered. All the hurt she has felt. Everything would be gone with the sunset. And with it, hope for what dawn could bring.

Hope.

There was that damn word again.

She wanted to point out that soon, all those symbols will be hidden within the black desolation of night, a symbol of the suffering that tomorrow could bring. But instead of saying all those things, she remained silent. She looked back to the horizon and saw that only a few bright streaks remained.

The sun had finally set.

After a while of sitting side by side, Amara cleared her throat. "Here" Amara said quietly as she reached into her bag. She pulled out a familiar gold watch. "I'm sorry I took this from you."

Poe shook his head without taking his eyes away from where the sun was previously in the sky. "Don't worry about it. I figured you had your reasons."

"I can explain—"

He sat up and brushed his palms on his legs. "No need to explain anything."

She bit her lip. "But I would like to," she began quietly.

Poe sighed as he took the watch from her open palm and looked into her eyes. "This belonged to my father you know."

Amara groaned. "Well now I feel even worse!"

Poe laughed. "Nah don't worry about it. He got this watch from a pawnshop at an outpost in Thaphora. I was 7 and traveling with him while he was transporting supplies to the resistance." Poe wrapped the watch around his wrist, turning it over to snap the clasp shut. "His watch stopped working while we were docked so while we were out, he got this as a replacement." Poe chuckled. "He didn't even really like this watch to begin with. Said it wasn't his style."

Amara wasn't surprised to hear that his father was part of the resistance. "Your father kept working with the resistance even after the war?"

Poe shrugged. "For a time. He stopped shortly after my mom passed. Hope died with him the day she left."

Amara's ears burned at the mention of his mother. "I'm sorry about your mother."

Poe stood and brushed off the back of his pants. He reached down and held out his hand to hers. "Don't be."

Amara took his hand and stood. He took his hand out of her grasp and put his hands into his pockets. He cleared his throat. "Come, let's get back while there is still some light left. Otherwise, even I can get lost in these jungles."

Poe walked past her and headed back towards the house. She quickened her step so that she was walking beside him.

"Was your father a pilot like you?"

Poe shook his head. "Soldier actually. My mother was the pilot. They both served in the Rebel Alliance. They had me during the war, which obviously kept them pretty busy, so I spent my formative years with my grandfather."

Amara looked to the ground as she walked beside him. "It must have been hard for your parents to be away from you."

Poe shrugged. "They knew that they were fighting for something bigger. I loved hearing stories about their time in the war. My father was very open about his war stories, although my mother never liked speaking about it. She would just tell me that her own actions weren't important, but that what mattered was that they and other Rebels stood up to the Empire and answered the call to help free the galaxy."

Amara continued to walk in silence by his side.

"What about your parents?"

Amara shook her head slowly. "I, umm… I never met my father." She gripped the straps of her bag tightly before adding quietly, "and I lost my mother to the war a long time ago." She focused on her breathing, dropping into the habit of counting the time between breaths in order to seem calm. "The academy is all I have known. War is all I have known."

It was Poe's turn to remain silent.

"I once asked my father if he was ever scared one night after he told me about the Battle of Endor."

"What did he say?"

"He said he was worried… but never scared of what might happen. What scared him was the thought that everything… all of the suffering… the pain… the death… that everything was for nothing."

"When did he tell you this?"

"Hell, I don't know… I think I was what…maybe 9 or…10?" He reached his hand up and ran his hand through his hair. "My mom had been dead for a couple years and I was just starting to grasp the idea of war and what it really meant. I saw Stormtroopers as pristine suits of armor. I never fully connected that there were human beings within them. Once I lost my mother, I realized what death truly meant. War was not some romantic idea. People died, and those that died never came back. They never returned to those who loved them."

They were almost to the house, the warm light in the windows giving the house a soft glow. The house was large and was arranged in a U- shapped. Wood paneling cladded the exterior façade of the home as it blended into its breathtaking surroundings. There was a second floor that had a balcony with wooden rails that wrapped around so that they had a view of the area below. This home was a peaceful oasis in the heart of the jungle. She thought of Poe as a young boy running out front with his father while his mother probably stood at the door watching.

At least, that's what she imagined his family would be like.

"How did your mom die?"

"She was sick. All I remember was that one day she was lying in bed… when I come home her body is gone… my father telling me that she was gone." He stopped walking and reached into his shirt. He pulled out a chain that was around his neck. "This was hers… my father gave it to me shortly after she passed."

Amara walked toward him, reaching her hand out to touch the item around his neck. She looked down and saw the circular band that was hanging loosely on the chain. The band was simple and small. There was nothing remarkable about the ring, but the way that his hand hovered over hers protectively, as if she would damage it, she could tell that this ring meant the world to him.

She looked up into his eyes and her breath hitched.

It had been a long time since someone looked at Amara like this, direct and interested.

He slowly lowered his hand until his large calloused hand was wrapped around hers. She could feel the cool metal pressing into her palm. She did not know when or how it happened, but she felt her other hand reach up to touch his face tentatively. His stubble was longer and felt coarse against her palm. His eyes closed as he leaned into her touch as if he craved it.

She felt her body press against his. The strangest feeling came over her, something that reminded her of the early days of her relationship to Armitage. Until now, she'd never felt it for anyone but him, and never anything like this fire-and-ice jolt through her body. She was powerless to the pull of him.

"If you want to eat you better hurry inside before your friend eats it all!"

Amara jerked away from Poe, and her body burned as if she had been scalded. She looked and saw Leona standing at the door. Immediately she cringed.

"Oh, I'm so sorry… I didn't mean to interrupt anything—"

Amara ran towards the house, avoiding the woman's gaze. "I'm awfully tired. I will see you in the morning." With that she hurried past Leona and didn't stop until she was inside her room with the door closed behind her. She groaned loudly as she held her head in her hands.

She needed to leave. In the morning she will leave, and she can put all of this out of her mind.

She walked towards the bureau and turned on the lap beside the bed. She turned to lay down but she paused when she saw a pile of clothes neatly folded atop the blanket.

Leona felt gutted as Amara rushed past her and into the house. She hadn't meant to interrupt them. As always, she spoke before taking a step back to think. Poe continued to stand in front of the house. After a few moments he groaned and ran his hand over his face in irritation.

"I'm so sorry Poe… I really didn't mean to intrude."

She watched as Poe tuck something into his shirt and stalk towards the house. "It's fine Leona." He gave her a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "You never do," he said quietly as he brushed past her and walked into the house.

She listened as he walked into the house. "Smells amazing in here. Snap you better not have eaten everything!"

"Well you should have gotten here sooner!"

Leona stood in the doorway, her eyes trained on the spot where he had stood. Her shoulders slumped. She tilted her head and looked towards the stars. "I wish you were here Shara," she said quietly.

"Leona… are you coming?" Kes' deep voice called to her from inside.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Coming!" She counted to ten before placing a smile on her face and headed back inside the house, closing the door softly behind her.