Chapter 10: Shadow and Sasha (written from April 3rd to April 4th, 2020)

Shadow didn't mind the shower at all. As usual, he lay next to his butchering stone, napping away his stress. It was apparent to him that the older he grew the sleepier he became. He wasn't that old of a wolf though. His life had only aged his personality. At birth, he embarked on a chase to find peace, and nothing was more peaceful than sleep. There were many holes in his mind that were never filled in, times where he never got his revenge or fulfilled any desires. He felt empty. He felt destined to live forever on an aimless path. He was too scared to venture away from it. He was too scared to take risks. The forest gave him sanctuary, provided him with a distraction. He took care of the forest since he knew nature could not betray him.

Living in the forest alone offered a stable trade-off. The forest gave emotional security in exchange for a loss of Shadow's will to be happy. He couldn't smile. He was addicted to the forest. Peace was precious to him. He exploited it relentlessly, especially as time only piled the stress. Even self-guilt for being addicted added to the pain. It was a feedback loop. He wasn't getting depressed, for anytime he needed to feel better he could just sleep. He was simply fading into pointlessness. He acted old and tired, and he had no friends to pass his knowledge. He was an elder who had no will to teach. All he had was a bare-bones will to live. He could fall into deeper and deeper periods of peace, but he was never happy. He accepted not being happy, but he would stay the same wolf until the end. He didn't have a will to want something profound. His younger days had overflowed the capacity for action and drama. He was a warrior that was burned out. He knew the cost of war more than most. He knew more than most of the heartbreak those endure on the battlefield. But he wanted no more. Peace in the rain comforted him.

But this newcomer from yesterday would change him. Sasha was around his age, and she thrived on action and drama. Her trust in such confounded Shadow. Sasha had forced her way into his life without apology and disrupted the trade-off he was having with the forest. He had never met anyone so authoritative while so nice and independent. Any of his attempts to counter her only resulted in making him look like a stubborn pup whose words were only what they were: words. She was there to stay. He wasn't alone anymore. And even when he tried to ignore her, fate would bring them together.

As he napped, she dug underneath him inside a tunnel. Shadow then screamed as the ground beneath gave way, and he fell five feet into a dirt hole. It had been so long since he felt a good rush of his heart. It was an old feeling yet a new feeling. After he processed what happened, he stared at Sasha. He wanted to be mad as hell, but he couldn't bring himself to be that way. The black-reddish wolf was just shocked. It was as though somebody poured freezing water on his face. It was just refreshing to be lively again. He didn't know what to think of it—that is until he realized upon trying to stand up that his right forepaw was broken. The butchering stone had fallen into the hole with him and crushed his paw. It was her fault, of course. The broken paw finally gave him words to say.

"What the hell, Alpha! Oww!" he yelled. Sasha had been giggling, for it was her reaction to seeing him fall down. When she noticed he was actually hurt, her tone changed to something Shadow would expect.

"Oh, crap! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"Oh, my gosh! What were you doing?!" he asked.

"I was expanding my den," she replied.

"You're one wolf! How big of a den do you need?! You're digging near my area too?! Just what the hell!"

"I guess I didn't realize how far I was going."

"And look! Now I'm covered in mud thanks to you!"

"A little mud won't hurt ya'."

"Yeah, well, you broke my paw, you twat!"

"Hey, no need to be mean!" Sasha fired back. "Geez, you're such a grump. Maybe I shouldn't have settled here."

"Please! Leave! I thought I told you to go anyway!"

"Fine! I guess I will!"

"Thank you!" Shadow attempted to climb out of the hole, but one point of pressure on his broken paw sent him squealing. "Fuck!"

"Language," said Sasha. Shadow then sighed. Sasha rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Go through my den. You're gonna hurt yourself going up that way." Shadow followed her through the tunnel she built. He was a little impressed by the size of it. They went to the chamber where they could see daylight, and Shadow promptly went outside in the rain. He stood in front of the entrance of her den and let the rain wash away the mud and debris. Sasha watched him as he calmed down. She looked at his affected paw. It was swollen and twice its original size. "I got some proten bark," she said softly. "Want me to wrap it up?"

"I'm fine," he answered flatly.

"Are you sure? You don't have any more caribou. How are you going to hunt?"

"I'll cope with it. I've been through worse."

"I still think you should wrap it up. You gotta keep your joint stable."

"Should've made your tunnel stable... I thought you were leaving!"

"Can you not be an absolute turd for three seconds and put on a stinkin' bandage?!"

"If it shuts you up, fine!" Sasha went to the back of her den and grabbed a piece of the bark. She then stepped into the rain. Shadow held his paw up while she proceeded to wrap it with the flexible material. The light rain continued to relax him. "Sorry..."

"Hm? Sorry for what?"

"I'm not trying to be a jerk," he replied. The she-wolf giggled again.

"Well, truth is you actually were... but it's fine. I know a real bully when I see one. You're not a bully."

"What am I then?" It took a few seconds before she responded.

"A grump... but you probably have every right to be." Shadow knew she was alluding to his past.

"You know nothing about me!" he snapped.

"I see with more than eyes. I see it in the way you carry yourself, all the guilt in your face. I've been there, Shadow... May not be equivalent, but I get it." His breathing rate increased. He was amazed again that she could read him so well. He wanted to know how.

"How... how can you see through wolves?" He felt so embarrassed to expose some vulnerability, but he needed answers.

"Unlike you," said Sasha, "I don't shut others out at the first chance I get. Sometimes letting the river flow can allow you to gain some insights." She stepped closer to him and gently nuzzled him. "You should try it." It wasn't much, but the small touch of her nose sent him chills. Once again, he didn't know what to think. He still wanted her to leave... but not yet... He was curious about something... It was dangerous though. It would ruin the status quo, but his curiosity would only inflate.

"Hello!" said a voice from a distance. Both of them looked around. Their noses pointed them to a tan wolf approaching. It appeared to be a she-wolf. "Hello!" said the voice now louder.

"Yes?!" said Shadow.

"Who is that?" Sasha asked.

"No idea... Hey!"

"Hi!" said the third wolf. "Are you the one they call Shadow?"

"Um, yes. What do you want, Alpha?"

"Beta, actually. My name is Dani. I'm looking for another Beta named Rocky. He should have seen you."

"Ma'am, Rocky's gone," said Shadow.

"What?"

"Yes, he left the forest two days ago."

"Damn it! I just missed him."

"You need him?"

"I just wanted to say goodbye to him before he left the Valley. I used to kind of date him so..."

"Oh... Well, I'm sorry. He's probably out of the Valley by now."

"I see," said Dani. "Thanks anyway. It was nice to meet you." The wolf then left, going down the way she came from.

"Who's Rocky? Were there wolves here before me?" Sasha asked.

"For a while, there were two wolves here. One of them I found with a concussion and took care of. The other came to me wanting to know a way out of the Valley. The day before you came here, they left together."

"Who would want to leave the Valley? Aren't the mountains full of Rogues?"

"I never said he was a smart pup. I don't control them. If they wanna kill themselves, go ahead."

"I guess a part of me can't blame them for leaving," said Sasha. "You snore like a fluttering little bird, heh, heh."

"I DO NOT!" Shadow protested before blushing.