Chapter Three: Swing

(yes the name of the episode where Kathleen goes to jail.)

Olivia reappeared in the living room to find Alex and Kathy going over the case files. "I'm going to need to talk to Kathleen." She stated.

Elliot knew procedure, and he nodded. "She's been staying here, lately. Follow me." He said, taking off up the stairs.

Alex gave Olivia a soft smile. Olivia returned it. They had a lot to talk about, maybe they'd be getting that drink sooner than either woman, had anticipated.

But no matter, Olivia followed Elliot up the staircase, they only stopped when he was right in front of her door. One Olivia recognized.

It was like time stood still once more. Getting Kathleen out of Jail, talking to Elliot's mother. "You were a cute carrot." She remembered saying to him.

As he stared at her, wide eyed and confused. But there was always a smile. He always smiled at her. He never said anything back to her after that moment so many years ago. But she never forgot it. It made her heart ache a bit to rethink it.

Olivia took a deep breath before knocking on the door. Elliot's hand on her arm, stilled her a bit. Her best friend's touch. He could still calm her down. In a way she was glad to see he still had that effect on her. And in another way, it sort of pissed her off. Something she couldn't quite put into words yet.

Olivia knew seeing Elliot and Kathy was difficult for all involved. But their kids? She loved the kids with every fiber of her being. This being said, she didn't know how kindly the older ones would take to her unknown arrival. This scared her. Kathleen could easily tell her to get lost.

No matter, she'd do what she could, wanted or not. Even if she had to work under the table.

"She hasn't been the same in a few years now, Olivia… She's distant, and Isolated. She hardly talks to us or her siblings. Most of the time, she is silent up here. Only eats when we bring it to her… She seems to be manic all day long…" He said, warning Olivia, about his daughter's current state.

Elliot wrapped his knuckles against the door now, seeing as she hadn't answered the first time.

"Kathleen, honey?" He said.

Olivia heard how his tone instantly softened when he spoke to his daughter. It made her smile internally.

"No thanks, I'm not hungry Dad." She mumbled from behind the door. And then it fell silent once more.

Elliot raised his hands in defeat. "This is an everyday thing…" He said to Olivia quietly.

Olivia looked at him a moment before speaking, "She's sitting right in front of her door, El. Let me try." She whispered.

He shrugged and stepped back, allowing his old partner complete access. Kathy stood at the bottom of the staircase, listening. She felt her heart begin to ache again, her daughter was a recluse. She would be forever shocked if the brunette could even get Kathleen to open the door. Lately, they'd knock and leave the food at the door. She'd take it later on, and disappear again.

Olivia sighed, knocking three soft wraps against the door. "Hey Honey, It's Ol-" She was cut off yet again, by another one of the Stabler children. It would've made her laugh, had the situation not been this harrowing. To her, it seemed like she couldn't get her whole name out, before they cut her off.

"OLIVIA?" She heard the woman's tone raise. Before the lock on the door was undone, and she turned the knob. But she stepped into the darkness. "O-Only Livvia…" She said, quickly.

Olivia and Elliot shared a sympathetic nod, before moving into the darkness, shutting the door behind her. Kathy heard the entire exchange, and she was elated her daughter actually opened the door. It had been a while since she'd heard her voice.

In the bedroom, Olivia didn't even have a chance to say anything, before Kathleen was in her arms. "OLIVIA! I can't believe you're here… I thought you hated us…" The younger woman said, sadly.

This made Olivia laugh softly, and shake her head, keeping her arms wrapped around the girl, or woman. To Olivia she was still a kid.
"Oh honey, no. I could never hate you guys… Any of you. You're like family to me." She said, truthfully. Her own emotions threaten to untangle at any moment.

Kathleen finally pulled back, "What are you doing here though?" She asked, confused.

"You got into some trouble a while back, hon. I'm here to help you and your parents." She admitted.

Kathleen looked confused, genuinely. It wasn't rare for someone with major bipolar disorder to forget specific events, especially if they were triggering. And Olivia knew this, She'd dealt with it for years with Elliot's second oldest.

"Oh! You're going to catch Mikey!?" She asked, intently. Her tone and expression had gone gravely serious now.

Mikey? He must've been the bastard who'd assaulted her. But she needed more.

"Kathleen, who's Mikey?" She asked, gently. Pulling out her phone, she typed down everything Kathleen had told her.

"He… He raped me…" She stuttered. "He's the one who stole my necklace." Her face twisted into a frown. "I just wanted my necklace back!" She yelled this time.

Olivia reached her hand out, "Kathleen do you want to hold my hand?" She asked. When someone is going manic, it's best to ask permission, or explain what you're doing to the person currently going manic, before making sudden movements. It could cause them to lash out, on you or themselves. And it will make them withdraw. And she was getting somewhere, she didn't need her backing down now.

Kathleen grabbed Olivia's hand, and they sat down on the bed. Kathleen flipped on the lamp switch, filling the room with a soft orange light. It was then, Olivia truly could see her. She looked frail, and fragile. But Healthy. She had been eating, at least. She looked pale, and her hair was a bit of a mess. But without a second thought, Olivia reached up, smoothing her hair out.

Kathleen leaned into her touch. She was the one Stabler child, who actually really, truly, bonded with Olivia. When Olivia had fought so fiercely for her all those years ago. She loved Olivia. And Olivia loved her. She always felt like she'd had her own kids, when Elliot's kids were around. Because they showed her so much love.

"So honey, does Mikey have a last name?" She asked.

Kathleen didn't startle again, instead she took a deep breath, and began to explain further.

"Mikey Richardson. He went to the U with me. He's an undergrad…. I was- I was taking my meds… And he stole them, during passing periods, when I went into my dorm room to collect my books… I was doing so good, Liv…" She exclaimed sadly.

"Oh you're still doing good, honey. We can continue whenever you're ready." Olivia told her.

"Well, when I confronted him about it, he got angry. And he grabbed my arm, dragged me to the back of the building… And he… He pulled my pants down… And he raped me… He told me, "You're not safe anymore Stabler." And I- I blacked out. I guess when I blacked out, he took my necklace." She said finally.

Olivia had to control her breathing, she could feel her heart rate rising. She was angry, sad, and she just wanted the scum bag behind bars. At this moment, Olivia knew Elliot was sitting outside the door. She knew he wasn't going to leave his Daughter. But she'd sort of wish he had, he shouldn't have to hear all this.

"Oh honey… I'm so sorry.. But we're going to figure this out okay? I won't stop until he's behind bars." Olivia said fiercely. Olivia placed her phone back into her pocket, and looked at Kathleen.

"I know you will, Olivia." She said, nodding. "You always make sure I'm safe." She concluded.

Olivia nodded, "I sure will Honey. But hey… You know something? Your parents… They miss you. Maybe try to remind them you're here every once in a while?" She asked, softly. She didn't want to push her, but she knew her parents were hurting right now.

"I just… I try to leave my room, but when I get to the door, I talk myself down… I just don't want to disappoint them anymore. You know?" She asked. Sadness filled the room around them.

"Oh sweetie, you aren't disappointing them. They're proud of you. So proud of you. I'm proud of you." She said, reassuringly.

In the living room, Elliot, Kathy, and Alex were talking. Less about the case, and more about the two women upstairs. "She's going to get through to her…" Elliot said, defending Olivia.

"It's just hard to accept, that she'd open up to your old partner, and not her mother… You know?" Kathy asked. Tears pouring down her face.

Alex nodded, and gave her a soft smile, "I get it, but… Sometimes, when you've got a mental illness… The people you open up to, are the ones who have gotten you out of trouble before. The ones who fought so hard they scared you. Sometimes we find comfort in old faces, the ones who are a little less familiar, it's less biased." She explained.

This actually made Kathy nod. She understood, but it still sucked. Elliot put a comforting hand on his ex-wife's shoulder. "Olivia is a good person, and she's a damn good cop… She'll fix this. She'll figure it out." He said, a little less than confidently. He knew she'd put her career on the line for him, or anyone involved. And that was what scared him, the most.

A few minutes later, Olivia came down the stairs, she was who the three saw first.

And then, Kathleen. Kathy gasped, when she saw her daughter, coming down behind the brunette.

"Kathleen, honey." She stated, standing up. Kathleen flinched, visibly. But didn't stop heading down the stairs.

Olivia smiled softly, at Kathy, and pointed to the kitchen. Kathy followed.

"Kathy… She's gone through a lot… And, I can't explain the problem completely, because I'm not a doctor… But, she needs space still… She barely wanted to come downstairs as is. You've just got to give her space. She'll come around." Olivia said, trying to reason with the emotional Mother.

"She has had nothing but space! She stays in the room all day, it's dark, and cold in there. And the only reason I know it's cold… Is because when she goes to the bathroom, I go in there, to change sheets, clean up a bit… Get rid of any dishes…. I hold her blanket and cry before she comes out… Because, it feels like I've lost my daughter again." She said, holding back the sob creeping its way up.

Olivia sighed, leaning against the kitchen counter. "I know… And I'm sorry Kathy. I can't imagine how you feel. But I do know one thing." Olivia offered.

Kathy looked up at Olivia curiously, her blue eyes, a bit darker from having cried. "What's that?"

"She still loves you guys. She knows you're here. She just doesn't quite understand what's happening in her head. Some days, it's like she's not even there. And I don't think she understands that… You're a great mother Kathy. But ask her before approaching her too rapidly. She takes easier to slow, known movements. Rather than sudden unknown movements."

Olivia said, sadly. Looking back to the woman she'd known for years, she shook her head.

"I'm so sorry for this Kathy. But I'm not going to stop fighting." She said, finally. And she left the kitchen to catch up with Alex.

The next 3 hours blurred by. And soon enough, they took their leave. Saying their goodbyes, and reminding them, They'd see them soon.

Alex looked to Olivia, as she settled into the passenger seat, "You okay Liv?" She asked.

The brunette had been acting off since she came back from seeing Kathleen.

"I'm fine." She said, dismissively. Olivia Benson, never one to acknowledge her own issues.

"Now, if I were any other person, I'd accept that as an answer… But I'm not any other person, Liv. That phrase is about as over used by you, as the Miranda rights… So Liv, what's wrong?"

Alex was worried. She knew seeing Elliot was going to be difficult, but she'd looked so refreshed when she came back from that. What had happened in the room with Kathleen that had her so shook?

"Just… All these old faces popping up… It reminded me of everything I've been missing. All the old heartbreak. What I tried so hard to bury." She said, honestly.

They were stuck in traffic, it was rush hour. Alex knew her friend needed to talk, to feel better. And she wouldn't let Olivia continue to sit here, looking like a kicked puppy.

"It had to be hard to see Elliot and his family today. But did it help at all?" She asked, sincerely.

Olivia let out a short sigh, "It wasn't just them… You too. I haven't seen you in years. And when I saw you earlier. It reminded me of how heartbroken I was, when you left last time. You could have been hurt, killed even. Your line of work then, it was dangerous. Playing saviour… And I guess, I'm so elated that you're here, but also… Still heartbroken, because I know you're going to leave again." She explained. The words that came out of Olivia's mouth were spoken softly, and they were full of understanding. But there was a hint of sadness behind it all.

Alex stared at her friend a few moments, before shifting in her seat, to look at Olivia.

"Oh. Olivia, I'm sorry I worried you that much. But I'm okay. I'm here, I'm back into lawyering, and I don't do that stuff anymore… I came out here, a few months ago. I've been working with Homicide. And when I… I heard about Kathleen's case, through someone at the courthouse. I knew I needed to reach out. And, I did. Luckily too, because they needed help." She said, the truth unravelling. Quickly. A little too quickly for Olivia's liking at the moment.

"So… They didn't reach out to you?" She asked incredulously. "You heard about it, and decided to drag me back into their lives, during a difficult time? Why? To add insult to injury?" She finished.

Alex looked offended, "Olivia… It wasn't like that. I was trying to get more help for them. And yes, I knew you hadn't seen Elliot in all these years, but I figured you would like some closure." She defended.

"I am happy, Alexandra. I have a son, a family. A small one, but a family nonetheless. And you showed up at the station today, to ask for my help. Which really turned out to be, firstly, getting Kathleen out of her room. A girl with Extreme Bipolar disorder, and Majorly Manic depressive episodes. I want to help them, I do. But what is this going to cost you? You're not under anyone specific. You don't need this job, to hold your life together. You've got money. If I do this, I'm going to have to go behind A LOT of backs. Powerful backs. Back's that'll cost me my career, when it's found out. So I'm asking you, why? After knowing the consequences I can potentially face… Why?" She asked, it was irritating, but it was also raw. And Alex stared at her hard.

"Because… I'm lost Olivia… I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I have been stumped on this case for two weeks. No idea where to even start. There are more false charges and cases these days than ever before in my career. And I don't want you to lose your job. I know how much it means to you. I didn't want you to break rules for answers. I just wanted some help." She said, sadly.

Olivia shook her head, as they pulled into the parking lot of the station. Olivia put the car in park before looking at Alex, "Okay. That's all I needed to know. You know I'll help you with anything Ale. But I need to know, you'll have my back. Because I can't afford to lose my job. I'll lose everything." She said, honestly.

"I'll always have your back Olivia." She said fiercely. And it was true. Both women were ready to fight.

"Now, we've got some calls to make. Join me in my office?" She asked.

"Absolutely."

With that, both women made their way into the Captain's office. They ordered in, laughed about old times, and worked diligently. Even Fin joined them, and was caught up on the case. It was nice, and felt like old times. But of course, all things must come to an end. And Fin was called out. This left Olivia and Alex to their devices. It was silent. A comfortable silent..

But that too, ended a bit too soon.

The two women hailed a cab, and went to Alex's condo. They were going to have that drink.

And it was nice, they reminisced. They decided to save the deeper stuff for another time. A time where they'd both be ready to travel down unpaved paths. But for now, they were content sitting on Alex's couch, drinking wine. And it was like that for a few hours, until Olivia had to go home to her son.

Upon arriving home, Olivia was pleasantly surprised to see her son asleep in his bed. She thanked Lucy, and relieved her of her duties. Olivia sat down on the end of her son's bed. Smiling down, "Love you Noah." She said, placing a soft kiss to his forehead, before leaving to her own room. She got ready for bed, knowing she had a long day ahead of her. And got underneath the covers, but not before calling Alex.

"Hello?" The soft tone came from the other line.

"Hey, I made it home. Sorry for calling so late, I was checking on Noah." She explained.

"Oh no biggie. See you tomorrow Liv." Alex said, yawning in the background.

"Goodnight Ale." She replied, using her oldest nickname.

"Goodnight. I love you, Olivia." She sleepily muttered into the phone before hanging up.

And those words, they replayed through Olivia's mind all night. She hadn't heard them in years, and she wasn't sure she wanted to hear them now. She was conflicted. But no matter, eventually sleep took her anyway.

It wasn't until around 4 am, less than 4 hours after she'd had that conversation with Alex, her phone rang. She sighed, and sat up. Looking down at her screen she slid the small bar to answer the phone. "Elliot. Hey? It's 4 am, is everything okay?" She asked.

"No. Kathleen's gone. She left!" He practically yelled.

Olivia's heart began to race, "I'll be there in 30 minutes." She said, quickly.

Yes, you read correctly, "I love you." We'll be going down that unpaved path sooner than later! Anyway, thank you so much for reading. And I hope you all enjoy.

Until next time loves,

Therealsvufann.