Tris laughed uncertainly, thinking who the hell is this man I'm walking with?

Because this man walking down to the dining hall with her and smiling was definitely not Eric. She eyed him suspiciously. He was not acting like he had yesterday, and was even more relaxed than this morning when he had half-apologized to her. Eric was almost joking and talking to her like an equal – not like someone he was in charge of. It felt, to Tris, that they were friends, but she told herself it wasn't true. Eric wasn't friends with anyone, and Christina would kill her for bring friends with Eric – but it will never happen, so don't worry about it, she thought, cursing herself.

"No, I mean…. initiation was hard, but I never felt like giving up." Eric was currently recounting his own initiation. Suddenly, his eyes cast downward. "You know, about your initiation, I…" He paused, searching for the right word that wasn't an apology, "Regret having Four throw those knives at you."

"No. Eric. Stop apologising—"

"I'm not." Eric smirked.

Tris withheld her own smile, but continued on. She wanted Eric to know that if he hadn't, she probably wouldn't have been the top initiate. "Eric, I'm serious, if you hadn't done that, I wouldn't be as strong today. I know, I know, I'm so humble," Tris said sarcastically, "But, it taught me to be strong. I honestly wouldn't have been first if I hadn't had that experience of being challenged. I learned to stand up against bullies like you."

Tris only realized her mistake after she saw the expression on Eric's face.

…

No one understood Eric.

Not his Mother, nor his Father. Not even Jeannine, who seemed like the person he was closest to. And after hearing Tris say those words though, he realized that no one could understand him unless he opened up to them – something that someone in his position couldn't afford. Eric had accepted that he was a bully, and especially to the initiates. No one understood that he had done it to make them stronger, and some part of him liked that Tris realized it. But that part was only a small fraction. He was mostly a bully for respect, something he craved after being put down so long in Erudite. He was also a bully to keep his position as a feared leader. He was a bully for entirely selfish reasons – like every bully was.

Tris had tried and seen that good part of him where he did it for the initiates benefit, but he knew she could not understand his selfish reasons – because she was a Stiff. He knew that they could not be friends then, even though a part of him wanted them to be. Eric liked how Tris was brave, and not afraid to challenge him or stand up to him. He wanted to be friends, but they couldn't because he would contaminate her. Make her selfish and a bad person like himself. He was selfish and in that moment, felt extremely guilty for all of the pain he had inflicted on others. He wanted to believe that he was a good person, but he couldn't lie to himself.

He cheated, lied, worked with Jeannine on her terrible plan, hurt and put people down. All for respect; all for his own selfish reasons. He knew he couldn't be friends with Tris because she was pure, and he was very, very bad.

"Eric, I didn't mean that. You are not a bully, not anymore." Her wide eyes were full of terror at his reaction, and he closed his eyes, because of course she was scared of him. Everyone was because of how he treated them.

"Tris. No, stop. I am a bully. You are right. You have nothing to apologise for," He didn't want to leave this possible friendship that he had thought could come soon after they stopped annoying each other, but he knew that he should. "Tris, I should go." He started to back away.

…

Tris was so utterly surprised at his sudden mood change that she didn't even hide the look of surprised confusion on her face. She thought he would be mad at her for calling him a bully, not agree with her, look lost, and then walk away. She didn't even think that Eric was possible of sadness, and while she watched him walk away, she was sad for him. It was obvious that Eric felt guilty for being a bully, and it was all too clear when he walked away without chastising her. Yes, he was bully and mean and cruel and ruthless, but he could also nice sometimes. He was sweet when he talked to her after her breakup with Four, he was smart because he was formerly Erudite, he was funny when he cracked jokes – which wasn't often. No, he was not perfect – far from it – but Tris could see a small bit of hope in him. Tris thought he could be cruel because he was deprived in his childhood, or because he liked that feeling of power. Tris felt sad for him because she knew he was beating himself up, and she knew all too well what that feeling was like.

Along with sadness, she was surprised at having so many feeling about Eric – especially the feelings of worry about Eric's – of all peoples – well-being. The apprenticeship had been exactly two days and Eric had made her feel more emotions in that small time than Four had ever did – until our breakup up, Tris thought dryly. Eric had made her angry about the kiss, confused about her feelings after the kiss, exasperation, sadness, joy sometimes and so many others.

Tris couldn't deny it any longer, she did have feelings for Eric but she wasn't sure what kind of feelings she had. Tris cared for him, but he annoyed her most of the time. He was usually arrogant, but was funny at the same time. Her frustration at this whole situation could have made her scream or cry, but she instead went to lunch.

All through lunch, Tris was a zombie, not talking or even being as polite as to say hello – and it did not go unnoticed by Christina.

While she pushed around the mushy mashed potatoes on her plate, Tris began thinking, what should I do? Do I talk to him or continue on like nothing has happened? Should I go to his office, or look for him? Should I talk to him? Tris thought that maybe talking to him wasn't such a great idea considering how sensitive, irrational and unpredictable he could get when provoked. Nor did she just want to do nothing about her sudden revelation either. So Tris was stuck in the in-between, not quite doing anything. Or saying anything – much to Christina's concern.

Christina's expression turned sour. She would not let her best friend be this sad and depressed for no apparent reason. The only reason Chris could think of was Eric – and she made a promise to herself that one day, she would finally end him.

"Okay! Tris, stop sulking! I don't know who did this to you, or what happened, because you won't tell me," Christina spat, and made a pointed look at Tris from across the table, "but we need to pull you out of this hole of despair! So, we are going to go shopping. And while we are out, you," Christina pointed at Tris again with her voice laced with venom, "are going to tell me whatever the fuck happened."

Christina stood up abruptly, not even bothering to say goodbye to Will, and dragged Tris away by her sleeve. Tris was used to it, but was so emotionally tired from the thoughts that were replaying in her mind that she didn't even protest, and went along with whatever Chris said. And that fact was what scared Christina the most.

Three store visits, five changing room visits and two purchased shirts later, Christina was ushering Tris across the Pit to the tattoo shop.

"C'mon Tris, I can do one on you! It can be anything you like. I swear it'll be fun."

…

Eric needed something to distract him, something physical, and something now. He just wanted a distraction to take his mind off of the guilty thoughts plaguing his mind. After walking away from Tris, Eric had walked to the chasm, but realized that in his angry state, it was best not to be around it. That was what he was now – angry. He was angry at himself, angry at the guilt, angry at Jeannine for making him go to Dauntless and angry at Tris for making him realize that he had been a bully. Even though a part of him always knew it and felt bad about it, she was the one who reminded him of those feelings. And Eric hated feelings. So he needed a distraction to calm down, then he could think things over like a true Erudite.

All of his feelings seemed to start with Tris, because he was totally fine before the apprenticeships. Yeah, he was really stressed out about the uprisings, but Eric was constantly stressed out – even if he never told anyone. And yeah, Jeannine was making Eric do things that made even him uncomfortable, but he could deal with it. Somehow, Tris saw some part of him that he didn't want anyone to know about, and the fact that Tris – of all people – knew made him mad. And it made him even madder at himself for previously wanting to be friends with her.

Eric stalked across the Pit, leaving people sending weary looks his way. He knew what his distraction was going to be.

…

Tori wasn't his friend, per se, but he frequented the tattoo shop often enough that she seemed like one of his closer acquaintances. And she held back a sigh when Eric appeared in the doorway with an aggravated expression on his face. She didn't mind Eric when he was normal and semi-polite, but she sure as hell did mind when he got impatient, insulting or downright sour. He would nag for her to hurry up, or tell her it wasn't good enough, or tell her that the tattoo wasn't what he wanted. She was suddenly unhappy at the thought of doing a tattoo on Eric when he was in such a foul mood.

Eric stood at the counter in the front of the shop, impatiently tapping his foot. Tori peeked her head in the opening at the side of the curtain that separated the front and the back like she didn't know who was standing there. She smiled politely, "Eric, hey! How can I help you?"

He crossed his arms in a threatening manner, and snapped, "Isn't it obvious?"

She was too tired to deal with all of his shit after the long day she'd had and she crossed her arms. Tori's smile was sugar-sweet but her voice was venomous when she asked, "What the fuck do you want Eric?"

"I want a tattoo, okay? I thought it would be obvious because this is, ya know…a tattoo shop." His voice changed for her to see how tired he was. It made her question why he wanted to get a tattoo if he was too tired to even snap at her.

Tori paused, "'K, come on." She gestured for him to follow her through the curtain into the back room. There were four chairs lined up on one side of the wall, all beside trays of needles and other various tools used for the permanent drawings. She sat him down in the closest chair and started to prep the materials. "Do you know what you want?"

"Yup." He explained the simple design that was going onto the skin on the inside of his forearm. He already had a bunch of tattoos on his arm, so it didn't matter what the tattoo looked like – the design would blend in with the others. Unless someone inspected his arm, they wouldn't notice it.

She started the tattoo and Eric didn't even flinch. His mind shut completely off so he could only focus on the pain caused by the needle. He sighed in contentment because he was calming down. His distraction was working, and he knew, when she was about half-way done, that he could handle all of the thoughts in his mind when she finished.

Tori gave him a weird look and shook her head, "I'll never understand why you enjoy this Eric."

He smirked at her, "And you'll never have too."

He closed his eyes so Tori wouldn't bug him anymore and enjoyed the calmness of his mind. Just as Tori began finishing up and he began to get more comfortable in the disgusting chair – probably coated in bodily fluids judging on how many drunken Dauntless come through here – Eric heard Tori greet someone.

He looked up to see Tris and the snarky Candor slip past the entrance in the black curtain. "Hey guys!" Tori remarked, "Take a seat, I was just finishing Eric's tattoo."

He ignored the fact that Tori was way more cheerful to see them than him, and instead met the eyes of the girl he had come here to avoid. Eric groaned internally, closing his eyes for a brief moment in annoyance. Of course the Stiff had to follow him here, of course. Even as Tori was putting the last finishing touches and he could feel the sting of the needle, his thoughts were coming at him, and he was no longer distracted. Tris seemed to be frozen in place with her eyes wide, while Christina just gave him a deadly glare and crossed her arms. They were still standing at the entrance of the back part of the tattoo shop. He couldn't be any less happy to see them than they were to see him.

Christina was still glaring at him when Tris leaned over and said quietly in the taller girl's ear, "Maybe we should leave, Christina. We can come back another time." Tris's eye briefly glanced over at Eric.

"No. We came here to get a tattoo. We are getting a tattoo. If Eric has a problem, then he can leave." Chris smiled sweetly at him.

Eric heard and clenched his jaw. Even though he was there first, he desperately wanted to leave. He couldn't be distracted by the needle and still have them in the same room as him. He was so annoyed thinking about all of his bad luck, and how the Stiff made him so frustrated, that he didn't notice when Tori had stopped.

She knew that he already knew the procedure for taking care of the tattoo, but it was also her procedure to tell everyone, regardless of how many they already had. Tori started, "So, to clean the tattoo –"

Eric stood up abruptly and started to stalk to the door, longing to get out of the same room as Tris. "I know. Just put it on my tab." He growled.

He left the tattoo shop without a glance at the two girls.

…

Tris knew that they should've just left the moment she saw Eric sitting in the back of the tattoo shop, but Christina had insisted they stay. She had felt so awkward standing there waiting for the minute Tori was finishing the tattoo to end. Tris desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. Did he hate her? Because it looked like he hated her, and he wouldn't have ran out of the shop if he had wanted to talk to her. She was so confused and distraught. One minute, they were joking like friends, then she says the wrong word and he leaves in a sad mood. And now he looks as angry as her when she's pissed at Al in his drunken state.

Tris looked toward Eric's retreating back and decided something. She was not going to let him walk away from her this time. Not without a good explanation about his mood swings. She was frustrated and wanted answers. She was also feeling a little guilty for making him run off and was going to talk to him again at another point, so this was perfect timing.

On a whim, she looked over at Christina and Tori talking about a certain type of needle that had just been shipped in and sneaked around the curtain in the front of the shop when they turned their backs. Once she was out of their sight, she broke out into a run, dodging the many Dauntless gathered in the Pit.

Once she spotted Eric's unmistakeable blond hair, she weaved through the crowd until she was at the edge of the Pit near him.

Tris panted, "Eric?"