A year had passed since Cloud and his party saved the world from Sephiroth's wrath and prevented his meteor from destroying all life as they know it.
After their quest was complete, the group naturally went their separate ways, though they kept in touch with one another.
Midgard, however, had been reduced to a metallic wasteland of the prosperous city it once used to be. Could they call it poetic justice for all the energy it had leeched from the planet's lifestream?
This should have been their finest victory. Peace was found at last. Shrina was in disarray and no longer held the power it once had, yet, the gaping hole in the blonde felt wider than ever, like trapped air expanding his chest until it wanted to explode.
His breathing shallowed.
His heart was ramming.
His fingers twitched.
Everything else in his body became worn pillars trying hold him steady.
Here he was, standing at the doorway of Mrs. Gainsborough's house... which was Aerith's home as well.
Cloud couldn't fathom was sort of nerve he had to have mustered to come back here.
His throat tightened, as if someone had just garroted him.
What was he going to say to this woman? How was he going to apologise for not keeping his promise to protect her daughter?
He had been told before that she didn't blame them for Aerith's untimely death, but it did nothing to soothe his guilt.
He came here wanting to see if he could provide comfort to this bereaved mother. He couldn't imagine the grief she had to have suffered all one her own in her empty house that she had maintained for her return.
He raised his trembling hand, paused for a few second, and knocked once. He stepped back and held his breath.
Was she even home anymore?
Surely enough, he heard her urgent footsteps approaching the door. When it swung open, Cloud tensed upon facing the elder woman.
They stated at each other until she greeted him with a warm hug. "Cloud. How have you been?" Her embrace had that same quality a mother's would.
He was little surprised that she didn't ask him what he was doing here.
"I just came to see you." He answered without moving his lips too much; his jaws were almost locked shut.
"Please, come inside."
Cloud couldn't argue as she lead him to the dinner table in her living room and forced him to sit down while she made him tea.
The place maintained that flowery smell. All over her counters were pots, vases and framed photos of Aerith in her younger years.
When Mrs. Gainsborough returned to the table with two freshly steaming mugs, she sat down with him to observe the young man's features while they sipped.
She could see faint bags under his Mako eyes and lines of stress all over his face. He looked reasonably healthy, but she could tell something was off right away.
"It's been awhile since I had visitors."
Cloud could only nod, unsure of how he should respond.
"How is Tifa?" She asked, leaning forward.
"She's doing fine." He cleared his throat. "She's taking care of Marlene and Denzel."
"And... how are you?"
The woman looked this man straight in the eye, glazed with genuine concern.
He was looking away now, gazing down at the floor. "Better." He lied.
Silence filled the space between them.
"I was going to ask you, but..." He trailed off.
"Some days, it's easier." She too gazed away at one of their pictured. "I just have to keep reminding myself of what was saved."
Cloud winced.
Saved...
Was our world really saved?
Mrs. Gainsborough gave him a stunned look, and Cloud realized he had unintentionally murmured those last word in his head.
"I'm sorry." He stammered. "I didn't mean-"
"It's okay." She assured him. "You all saved us from imminent doom."
Cloud wanted to interject, but his mouth only hung slightly.
"You're a hero." The mother took Cloud's hand that was rested on the table. "She tells me that every time."
Cloud felt a lump swelling. He looked to her in confusion.
"I can hear her sometimes." She explained. "Whenever I'm not distracted with my hously chores, she comes to me sometimes."
"She gives us too much credit. It was all her. I'm not a hero."
"What are you saying, Cloud?"
He inhaled. "Heroes saves people. Heroes give their lives so their friends can return home." He felt the muscles in his neck tensing again.
"Even heroes can't save everyone." She tightened her hold around his crisp palm. "It's not your fault."
"That's what everyone else keeps trying to tell me." His eyes shut to hide the tears. "Why couldn't I have leapt in front of her within those seven seconds?"
"Cloud..."
"Why wasn't it me instead?" He shook his head like it itched harshly.
"Please, don't say that."
"She didn't deserve to go the way she did so soon." His head turned back to her, but he still refused to open his eyes. "She deserves to come back home to her mother, to plant her flowers and grow old to have a happy life."
This poor young man...This woman's heart was breaking for this wounded soul. She couldn't bear to see him breaking like this.
"No parent should have to lose their child." He continued, his voice grunting in restraint. "I never should have let her join. I never should have come into her life. She would have been better off for having never known me."
"That's nonsense!" The mother raised her voice. "If it wasn't for you, she would have still been imprisoned by Shinra! She would have never found her friends! She would have never fulfilled her own potential!"
"She would be alive!"
"You don't know that!"
There was more silence.
Cloud squinted his eyes open to see this woman's sad furrow directed at him. With an exhale, he calmed a bit and shook himself in shame.
"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Gainsborough." He swallowed. "I don't know what came over me. I came here to see if I could provide any comfort for your loss, but instead, here I am whinging like I'm the victim."
Mrs. Gainsborough softened her voice too. "Don't be ashamed of how you're feeling. I know you were fond of her. Aerith loves you as well, Cloud."
"It's... just unbearable."
The grieving mother laced her fingers between his to bring them closer.
What could she say to this grief-stricken man to help ease his pain?
"Aerith would have rather loved and lost than to have never known you at all." A faint smile could now be seen on her face. "I have no regrets either."
This baffled the swordsman.
"How do you do it?" He had to ask her in a hushed voice. "How do you continue on? How do you get yourself out of bed?"
A tear leaked down her wrinkled face. "Because it's what my daughter would want me to do... and it's what she would want you to do as well."
Cloud nodded, for he couldn't argue with that. He looked back over at the worn picture of little Aerith with her adoptive mother.
"I also take comfort in knowing that I will reunite with her in the lifestream eventually, so until then, I will see it through."
"Your strength is truly uncontested, Mrs. Gainsborough." Cloud managed to look at the woman directly, his eyes glistening from the reflected daylight. "She's lucky to have had you as her mother."
"And she was lucky to have you all as her friends."
"Thanks."
"This is how you can honor her memory."
Cloud could find some peace in her words, though it still couldn't free him of his burden. There were so many other things he wished to express. He decided it would be best not to impose any further.
"Thank you, Mrs. Gainsborough." He repeated and turned quickly for the door. "I should get going."
Mrs. Gainsborough, however, didn't let go of his hand just yet; she gripped it tighter.
Cloud, confused, turned back to her now somber glance.
"It's not your fault, Cloud." She said.
He could only nod silently. He tried again to pull away, but she still wouldn't let go.
"It's not your fault."
He blinked a few times, rather agitatedly. "Um... okay."
Still, the woman didn't budge or avert her gaze.
"It's not your fault." She repeated once more, like a mantra.
All of a sudden, the lump in the blonde's throat returned, and he found his jaw quivering uncontrollably. He couldn't look at her again now.
"It's not your fault."
His vision blurred when his eyes began to well with tears after trying so hard to hold them in. He sniffled.
"Look at me, son." The woman lifted his hand and held it between her palms like a prayer, the same way Aerith would.
"Please..." He begged. "Stop."
"It's not your fault."
When he tried to stand hastily, she got up with him, her stance unwavering. She wanted to hammer this home to Cloud once and for all.
Cloud was just about to explode, his face twisting with unbridled torment, his nose reddening from the imminent wetness from inside.
He didn't want her to say it. He didn't want to hear it. He wanted to plug in his ears and shut her out. Everything he has mustered to control was threatening to come undone.
"It's not your fault."
This time, he could swear that was a different voice, one that was younger and more delicate.
Aerith...
Her face flashed through his closed eyelids, which was when the floodgates whoosed open and released everything.
Cloud, a person who hardly wore anything on his sleeves, broke out in choked sobs. Tears rained from his cheeks.
"Oh, my dear boy!" Mrs. Gainsborough pulled his face onto her shoulder and locked her arms tightly around him with haste. "Oh, my goodness! It's okay."
It took only a matter of seconds for his quiet sobbing to escalate into blood curdling wails that bounced from the walls of her living room. Cloud grasped this old lady with all his might to keep himself from toppling over.
"I'm sorry!" She could hear him muffle.
"Sit down, sit down." She pulled his chair back out to sit him back down and started rubbing his back furiously like she was calming a child. "It's okay, darling."
Tears streamed from the woman's own eyes as well. She barely knew this swordsman before they left with Aerith on that fateful adventure, yet here, she could understand him completely. A year of pent up rage and sadness from a guilt-ridden survivor, a pain that undoubtedly shared.
Cloud felt so worthless, so humiliated for showing his emotions to a woman whom he argued had more reason to grieve than him. He wanted nothing more than to turn back time, to undo that fateful event in the Forgotten City, to erase the imprint of Aerith's body sinking into the water from his memory forever.
When his wailing receded into short hiccups, Mrs. Gainsborough continued to soothe this broken soldier.
"I'm sorry." Cloud repeated in a whisper. "I'm so sorry."
"You have nothing to be sorry for, my dear."
When the elder peered over his shoulder, she could almost swear that she saw her daughter standing right by them with a tearful smile of her own.
With a deep sigh, she smiled back at the empty space and allowed her eyes to close.
"Everything will be better." Her voice echoed.
"Yes, dear." She agreed. "Yes it will."
Author's Note: I really wanted to write a piece for Mrs. Gainsborough. I felt that she deserved just as love and affection as the other characters since she perhaps suffered the most from Aerith's death; she is her adoptive mother after all. I had this scene from Good Will Hunting circulating in my head, and when I found Cloud and Mrs. Gainsborough taking the places of those characters, I had to put it out there. Thank you for reading! Please leave a review.